Bittersweet (11 page)

Oh those beautiful butterflies.

We ordered ice cream sundaes with extra hot fudge and sat in the parking lot.

“Tell me about your family,” I said.

“Not much to tell. Mom, Dad, a younger brother. Quite boring, actually. What about you?”

“My mom lives in Albert Lea with her husband and my baby half brother. My dad’s dead, obviously. Been that way for two years.” I took another bite of my ice cream. My cup was already half empty and Dallas’s looked like he hadn’t touched it.

He cocked his head. “His death is still haunting you.”

“What makes you say that?”

“One, because you won’t get on a coaster. Also, because Grant told me.”

Grant needed to keep his nose in his own damn business. A part of me still wondered if Dallas was only here with me because Grant put him up to it.

“What else did Grant tell you?” I asked casually.

He shrugged. “Not much. He loves you, isn’t crazy about your mom, and misses your Dad almost as much as you do.”

I didn’t think that was possible, but whatever. I’d already noticed that Grant was nothing like my father, and my father was the one who didn’t recover from things. Like me. Plus, Grant didn’t have the guilt associated with his death like I did.

Dallas was quiet for a few minutes. He took a bite of his sundae and seemed to be thinking about something.

“Do you have a boyfriend back home?”

I snorted. “No, I broke up with him before I left.”

“Why?”

“Not sure I really want to talk to about that.”

He nodded. “Okay, then tell me how you met him.”

“You really want to hear how I met another guy?”

“Yes.”

“Why?”

“I’ll tell you after you tell me the story.”

“After my dad died, I didn’t go out much. My friend Candie would come over and hang out with me, but I really cramped her style. She never complained, but she was constantly asking me to go to parties and hang out with our group of friends again. One day she made the mistake of asking me to go a party in front of my mother, who was also sick of seeing me in the house. So I went and I met Zane.”
I looked at him, searching for signs of boredom, but found none. He seemed like he really wanted to hear this one.

“There were other reasons I didn’t want to go to the party. Candie had a tendency to get drunk fast and end up in bed with whatever boy she could get her hands on. I knew I’d be abandoned as soon as we walked into the party. And I was. The minute we walked in, she put a beer in my hand and disappeared into the crowd.

“I wandered for a while, then got bored. I went outside to wait for her. Zane found me sitting on the steps.”

I twisted my hands. I had thought meeting Zane would change the way I’d felt, but it hadn’t. I was still as empty inside as I had been before.

“Zane took the title Class Clown to a whole new level. Everyone knew him and everyone loved him. He sat next to me and said, ‘You need a laugh.’ I told him, ‘Good luck.’ He made a deal with me. If he could make me laugh, he got a kiss. If he couldn’t, he’d take me home. I liked my odds. It’d been a year and a half since my dad died and I hadn’t laughed once. But Zane surprised me. Within five minutes he had me giggling.”

Dallas cocked his head. “And did he get his kiss?”

I grinned. “Yes, he did. And he earned every single one of them after that. Every time he made me laugh, he got a kiss.”

“Lucky guy.”

I shrugged. Maybe, maybe not. I didn’t tell Dallas that I was never attracted to Zane. He never made me feel butterflies.

An hour later Dallas took me back to my car. I started to get out, but he put his hand on my arm and stopped me. It was the first time he touched me all night. I looked up at him and noticed the light behind him gave his hair a purplish glow. I almost laughed.

“What do you want to do tomorrow? I think you get off at four, but I’m scheduled until eight.”

“Oh, shoot. I’m going shopping with Julia, but I can probably be back by eight.”

He waved his hand. “No, I’ll come to you. I don’t mind if Julia hangs with us too, but I’m not much of a shopper. Maybe we can just go eat or something when you guys are done.”

“Okay,” I said and got out of the car. He waited for me to get into my own car before he left. That whole night he’d barely touched me. It was like he wanted to be with me, but not
be
with me. My butterflies wilted. Being friends would be fine, but I couldn’t deny the fact that I wanted more.

K
EEP YOUR EYE ON THE TRAIN
as it comes into the station and if you need to stop the train early, release the buttons. Otherwise it will stop when it reaches the end of the platform.”

I nodded at Angelica as I watched her bring in another train. She’d been teaching me for forty-five minutes and hadn’t let me touch the buttons even once. It was a slow day and the train was only running half-full. It was an excellent day for learning.

The next train loaded and she released it with a spiel, “Keep your hands and legs inside the train at all times…” I was having a hard time memorizing the words because I couldn’t look at her. For me, hearing was about the combination of sound and lip movements. At least I had a sheet to look at.

We watched the train go up the hill via video. If we saw anyone take out a camera or do something stupid we stopped the train and hiked up the hill. So far, no one had done anything worth hiking, but it had been an interesting morning. I was ready to run controls myself. I tapped my fingers on the window and Angelica glared at me. I pretended like I didn’t notice and examined my fingernails. My watch had crept down a half-inch and my tattoo was visible. I quickly pushed it back.

After the train plummeted down the hill, Angelica turned to me.

“You can bring this one in. Remember that most of the time when we have mechanical errors, it isn’t because something is wrong with the coaster, it’s because the operator did something wrong.”

Way to inspire confidence in someone who was about to do her first solo run. The first few trains went off without a hitch. It wasn’t nearly as hard as I thought it would be.

However, ten minutes later, someone took out a camera halfway up the hill. I hit the stop button.

“Can I go get it?”

She nodded.

I opened the gate and climbed up the narrow set of stairs next to the track. Stairs would be an understatement. It was really a narrow space of wood with slats placed every six inches so that you didn’t slip and fall down. I held on to the rail. The people on the train kept looking back at me. As I got closer to the train, I looked down.

Big mistake.

I froze.

Shit.

I couldn’t move. Either up or down. For the first time in ages, I wished Candie were with me. She was always so good at talking me out of my “moments.” Right after my dad died, there were times at school when I shut down completely. Candie was the only one who knew how to get me to snap out of it.

A few minutes later I could hear someone else climbing up behind me.

Paris spoke directly into my ear. “I’m going to walk around you, then I’ll help you get back down.” I nodded and watched him reach the train, take the offending camera, and walk back down to me.

He held my hand all the way back down. Back in the control booth, I sat on the floor shaking. Angelica laughed at me.

“Guess you won’t be climbing the lift again.”

Most people in Minneapolis hate the Mall of America. It’s crowded, overpriced, and full of tourists. As I was from Albert Lea, I did not have those feelings. I was pleasantly surprised to find that Julia didn’t either.

We started on the bottom floor and three hours later we were only half way around the second floor. Julia still hadn’t found the shoes she wanted. I, however, had spent a good chunk of my last paycheck. My Eurochocolate fund was crying.

Julia tried on a pair of bright blue heels and examined them in the mirror. She shook her head and pulled out a sparkly pink pair.

“What’s up with you and Dallas?” she asked, walking a couple of feet away. Oh, just when things were going so well. I didn’t really want to talk about Dallas. I wondered if he put her up to it.

“Nothing. We’re just friends.”

She turned back to me.

“You can tell me, you know. I’m not a gossip.”

I grinned.

“Yeah, but you are friends with Dallas, and you’ve known him longer.”

She took off the pink pumps. “I like you better.”

I decided to play it a little cautiously. “I like him but I’m getting the ‘just friends’ vibe from him.” There. That shouldn’t cause too much of a stir.

She shook the sparkly pink shoe in my face. “Where on earth did you get that idea? I’ve never seen him gush about a girl the way he does about you. If you want him, he’s yours for the taking.” She shoved the shoebox back on the shelf and pulled out another one.

“No, I really don’t think he likes me like that.”

She pulled out a purple shoe with a yellow spike heel. “Why?” She asked, strutting up and down the aisle.

I told her all about Spook Alley and then last night.

She sat next to me and stared at the purple heels. “I think I found a winner. But that is really weird. Let’s see how he behaves tonight. Maybe last night was just a fluke.”

I looked at my watch. “Speaking of Dallas, we’re meeting him at Bubba Gump in fifteen minutes.”

“Good thing I found my shoes. Now it’s my turn for secrets.” She paused and put the shoes back in the box. She looked around and must’ve decided that the few people in the store weren’t listening to her. She turned to me and squared her shoulders. Then she took a deep breath and dropped her eyes. “I have a massive crush on your Uncle.”

I laughed.

“I already knew that.”

She met my gaze with worried eyes.

“How?”

“I’ve watched you around him. You kinda swoon when he’s around.”

She leaned against me and groaned.

“Oh gosh, is it that obvious? Do I really swoon?”

She pulled her own shoes back on and waited for me to answer.

“Yeah, but maybe I’m the only one who notices. We could ask Dallas.”

“No, no, no, you can’t say anything about this to Dallas. He’d tease me to no end if he knew. He might even tell Grant. They are pretty tight.”
I followed her to the checkout counter and waited in a short line. “I think we can ask him without even mentioning Grant. Can you trust me?”

She eyed me for a second.

“Okay, but if you screw this up, I’m telling Dallas you’re planning your wedding.”

“Deal.”

She chattered on the way to the restaurant. It was so nice to have friends again, but my stomach twisted in worry. Was she just using me to get to Grant? And what was Dallas’s deal? Julia said he and Grant were pretty tight, so the fact that he hung with me had to be because of something Grant said. Sometimes navigating what’s real and what’s in my head was so freakin’ hard.

At that thought I nearly stopped walking. My dad had said the same thing to me once. Right after I found him sitting in the car in the garage. He said, “I don’t know the difference between what’s real and what’s in my head.” Was this part of the curse too?