Bitter Sweet (67 page)

It was just a small group - the Kerschners, Eric’s mother, and his brother and wife.., and me.’
Roy
took a sip of coffee and added, as if it just occurred to him. ‘Oh, there was someone else there, too.’ He leaned forward and laid a photograph on the table. ‘Your little sister.’ He sat back and hooked a finger through his cup handle. ‘My, that’s a darling little girl if I do say so myself. She’s got that Pearson chin all the way. Cute little dent in it just like yours and your mom’s. ‘

Katy’s downcast eyes remained riveted on the picture and her cheeks turned pink.

The waitress came and refilled their coffee cups. When she moved away,
Roy
leaned his elbows on the table.

‘But that’s not the reason I’m here. I came to tell you something else. I’ve left your grandma, Katy.’

Katy’s eyes shot to his, disbelieving.

‘Left her? For good?’

“Yes. It’s all my idea, and she was feeling pretty bad when I left her. If you could find the time to run up there one weekend soon, I think she’d really love to see you. She’s going to be pretty lonesome for a while.., she’ll need a friend.’

‘But ... but you ... and Grandma...’ It was inconceivable to Katy that her grandparents could part. People their age just didn’t!

‘We’ve been married forty-six years, and during that time I watched her grow colder and harder and more unforgiving, until it seems like she finally just forgot how to love. That’s a sad thing, you know? People don’t get like that overnight. They start in little ways - fault-finding, criticizing, judging others - and pretty soon they think the whole world is mixed up and they’re the only ones who know how it ought o be run. Too bad. Your grandma had a nice chance lately to show a little compassion, to be the kind of person other people like, but she turned your mother away. She condemned Margaret for something that nobody’s got the right to condemn another for. She said, if you don’t run your life the way I think you ought to run it, well.., then that’s it, I don’t want anything to do with you anymore. She never visited your mother in the hospital when Suzanne was born and she hasn’t visited her since. She hasn’t even seen Suzanne - her own granddaughter - and she refused to go to the wedding. Well, a man can’t live with a woman like that, I know I can’t. If your grandma wants to be that way, she can be that way alone.’ He ruminated awhile and added as an afterthought, ‘People like that are bound to end up alone eventually because nobody likes to be around bitterness.’

Katy had been sitting for some time, staring at the table.

When she looked up, tears lined her eyelids.

‘Oh, Grandpa,’ she whispered in a trembling voice, ‘I’ve been so miserable.’

He reached across the table and covered her hand. ‘Well, that should tell you something, Katy.’

The tears magnified her eyes, growing plumper until they finally tumbled over and streaked her cheeks.

‘Thank you,’ she whispered. ‘Thank you for coming and for making me see.’

Roy
squeezed her hand and smiled benevolently.

On the Saturday following their wedding, Maggie was feeding Suzanne her lunch, and Eric had been gone since early morning. The infant sat perched on the kitchen table and Suzanne’s mouth was lined with applesauce when the phone rang.

Maggie answered it holding the jar of warm baby food in her free hand.

“Hello?’

‘Hi, honey.’

‘Eric, hi!’ she replied, breaking into a smile.

‘What’re you doing?’

‘Feeding Suzanne her applesauce.’

‘Tell her hi.’

‘Suzanne, your daddy says hi.’ Into the phone Maggie said, ‘She waved a fist at you. Are you in for lunch?’

‘Yup. Had a good morning, how about you?’

“Uhuh. I took Suzanne out in the sun with me while I thinned the day lilies. She really seemed to...’ Maggie stopped speaking, mid-sentence. A moment later her voice returned in a stunned whisper. ‘Oh, my God...’

‘Maggie, what’s wrong?’ Eric sounded alarmed.

‘Eric, Katy is here. She’s coming down the sidewalk.’

‘Oh, honey,’ he said understandingly.

‘Darling, I’d better go.’

‘Yes . . . all right.., and, Mag?’ he added hurriedly. ‘Good luck.’

She was dressed in blue jeans and a Northwestern sweatshirt, a thin purse strap over her left shoulder. Her convertible was parked at the top of the hill behind her, as she descended the steps her eyes were fixed upon the screen door.

Maggie stepped to it and waited.

At the foot of the verandah Katy stopped. ‘Hello, Mother.’

‘Hello, Katy.’

For the moment only the most mundane question came to Katy’s mind. ‘How are you?’

‘I’m happy, Katy. How are you?’

‘Miserable.’

Maggie opened the screen door. ‘Would you like to come in and talk about it?”

Head down, Katy entered the kitchen. Her eyes went immediately to the table where the baby sat in ruffled blue breeches with suspenders, sucking one fist, her ankles crossca anct a ttt tanng up around her ears. Letting the screen door close softly, Maggie watched Katy halt and ‘This is Suzanne. I was just feeding her her lunch. Why don’t you sit down while I finish?’ - painfully polite, as if a church elder had come to call.

Katy sat, mesmerized by the baby, while Maggie stood beside the table and resumed spoon-feeding Suzanne’ whose regard was centred on the strange newcomer in the room.

“Grandpa came to see me on Wednesday.’

‘Yes, I know. He called.’

‘Isn’t it awful about him and Grandma?’

‘It’s very sad to see any marriage break up.’

‘He told me some things about Grandma, about what kind of person she is... I mean...’ Katy stammered to a stop, her face a reflection of anguish. ‘He said . . . he said I’m just like her, and I don’t want to be. I really don’t, Mom‘

She was half-woman, half-child as her eyes began to gfigten and her face Maggie set down the baby food and went around the table with open arms.

‘Oh, Katy, dear...’

Katy fell against her, crying. ‘I was so awful to you, Mom, I’m sorry.’

‘This has been a trying time for all of us.’

‘Grandpa made me see how selfish I’ve been. I don’t want to lose the people I love like Grandma did.’

Holding her daughter, Maggie closed her eyes and felt another of the complex joys that were so much a part of motherhood. She and Katy had been through such a catharsis in the past two years. Bitter at times, sweet at others. While Katy dung, all but the sweet dissolved.

‘Darling, I’m so glad you’ve come home.’

‘So am I.’

‘Katy, I love Eric very much. I want you to know that. But my love for him in no way diminishes my love for you.’

‘I knew that, too. I was just... I don’t know what I was. Confused and hurt. But I just want you to be happy, Mom.’

‘I am.’ Maggie smiled against Katy’s mousse-stiff hair.

‘He’s made me so incredibly happy.’ The exchange, like a solemnization, brought the proper moment for Maggie’s next question. ‘Would you like to meet your sister?’

Katy backed up, drying her eyes with the edge of a hand.

‘Well, why do you think I came?’

They turned toward the baby.

“Suzanna Banana, this is Katy.’ Maggie took Suzanne from the infant seat and perched her on her arm. Suzanne’s blue eyes fixed upon Katy with uncomplicated curiosity.

She looked back at her mother, then at the young woman who stood by uncertainly, and finally gave Katy a spitty smile and a gurgling sound of approval.

Katy reached out and took the baby from Maggie’s arms.

‘Suzanna, hiiiii,’ she said wonderingly, then to her mother, ‘Oh, wow, look it - Grandpa was right. She’s got the Pearson chin. Gol, Mom, she’s just beautiful.’ Katy held the baby gingerly, bounced her experimentally, gave her a thumb to hang on to, and smiled into Suzanne’s rosy face.

‘Oh, wow...’ she said again, captivated, while Maggie stood back and felt favoured by all the right forces.

The two were still getting acquainted when a truck door slammed outside and Eric came down the walk.

Maggie opened the screen door and held it while he approached.

‘Hi,’ he said with uncharacteristic quietness, dropping a hand on her shoulder blade.

‘Hi. We have company.’

He stopped just inside the door, let his eyes find Katy, and waited. She stood on the other side of the table, her face a mixture of sombreness and fear while Suzanne’s broke into a smile at his appearance.

“Hello, Katy,” Eric said at last.

‘Hello, Eric.’

He laid his skipper’s cap on the cupboard. ‘Well, this is a nice surprise.’

‘I hope it’s okay that I came.’

“Of course it is. We’re both happy you’re here.’

Katy’s eyes flashed to Maggie, then back to Eric. Her lips quirked up in a doubtful smile. ‘I thought it was time I met Suzanne.’

He let his smile shift to the baby. ‘She seems to like you.’

‘Yeah, well, that’s a miracle. I mean, I haven’t been too likeable lately, have I?’

An awkward pause fell and Maggie stepped in to fill it.

‘Why don’t we all sit down and I’ll fix us a sandwich.’

‘No, wait,’ Katy said. ‘Let me say this first, because I don’t think I’ll be able to swallow anything until I do. Eric . . Mom . . . I’m... I’m sorry I didn’t come to your wedding.’

Maggie’s eyes met Eric’s. They both looked at Katy and searched for some reply.

‘Is it too late to say congratulations?’

For a moment nobody moved. Then Maggie shot across the room and put her cheek to Katy’s while Katy looked over her shoulder with tear-filled eyes at Eric. He followed his wife across the room, and stood uncertainly nearby, studying the face of the young woman who looked so much like his infant daughter perched on her arm.

Maggie drew back, leaving Eric and Katy poised, caught in one another’s regard.

He was not her father.

She was not his daughter.

But they both loved Maggie, who stood between them with her lips trembling while Suzanne studied the scene with wide-eyed innocence, Eric made the final step and laid one hand on Katy’s shoulder.

“Welcome home, Katy,” he said simply.

And Katy smiled.