BITTER SWEET CRAVINGS (The Kingsmen MC Book 6) (7 page)

Contents are thrown out as he searches. My compact, my lip-gloss, my hairbrush, they all litter the pavement by our feet as he continues to search.

I hear the rattling of the pills against the confines of their plastic walls and know he’s found it.

The orange container is held away from me as I try to swipe through the air for it, but it’s held high above his already towering height.

My leather bag is dropped and I feel its weight on my feet. I abandon the fight for my medicine to scoop up my belongings and hurriedly sweep them back into the open bag.

“You have no right!” I yell at him.

The pills jingle one last time as he shoves them into his pocket. “I have no right?”

I stand up sharply and do my best to appear composed as I adjust my bag securely.

He steps closer, a wildfire in his eyes. It scares me.

“I have
every
fucking right.”

I breathe in deep, searching through my temporarily limited vocabulary to attack him verbally.

“Give me my keys, Clink. I don’t have time for these games. I have to get back to work.”

I hold out my hand.

“I ain’t giving you back anything. You think I’m gonna let you drive like this? So you can kill yourself? So you can kill someone else? Not gonna happen.”

I bite my lip and feel the wild breaths escaping my mouth as they make a wispy sound. It’s no use. I know him well enough to know he’s dead serious.

“Oh yeah?” I ask as I busily search through the bag. I hold my phone up in victory. “Well, I don’t need you to give me my keys. I don’t need
anything
from you. Harris will come get me.”

His lips curl up in a most evil way. “You must be talking about your little friend from this morning. Harris? Is that his name?” He laughs wildly, barely being able to catch his breath. “Harris! That’s priceless.”

“
Dr
. Harris Walker,” I’m sure to emphasize the title.

Recovered from his hysterics, he begins to rub his hands together furiously. “Please. By all means… call Harris. Bring that sonuvabitch right to me and save me the trip of finding him myself.”

His knuckles crack against each other as he readies his hands for the damage I have no doubt they plan of inflicting.

I swallow hard.

“Let me teach the good
doctor
a thing or two about touching someone else’s property.”

I picture the mess that will be Harris’s body once Clink has gotten through with him. I can’t be responsible for that.

I punch the numbers into the screen of the phone and hold it up to my ear. It rings. “I’m
not
your property, asshole,” I murmur to him as I wait.

Clink continues his preparations. His neck is stretched, making a god-awful sound as it also cracks not just in one direction, but then the other. The vein protruding on a diagonal slant down that thick neck is throbbing violently.

“This is nurse Griffiths,” I announce into the receiver as he watches, practically foaming at the mouth for me to deliver his victim to him. “I’ve had some car trouble on my break and won’t be able to make it back. Could you please sign me out as an emergency?”

I wait for the reply from the nurse’s station as Clink eyes me curiously.

“Thank you,” I end the call.

“Wha-?” He’s disappointed that his blood lust won’t be quenched tonight.

My next call is made quickly as I interrupt the agitated biker in front of me from speaking further.

“Could you come pick me up please?” I ask. Clink’s stepping closer as if he’ll magically hear the voice on the other end. I step back. “Thanks. I’m outside Clink’s house. Don’t ask. Just get here quick.”

I shove the phone back into the depths of my bag, satisfied that I’ve found the one way around Clink’s little powerplay.

“Afraid little loverboy won’t be able to hold his own?” he voices, sarcastically.

I laugh. “He’s not an
animal
, like you.”

His eyes somehow darken even more than they already are. “Don’t kid yourself, Sugar. You
like
the animal in me. It’s the only thing powerful enough to tame you.”

I summon the strength through the lifting fog over my mind from earlier. “I don’t
need
to be tamed. I don’t
want
to be tamed. And you’re no longer in a position to even try.”

He roughly pulls me in, close to him, held in the tight vice of a grip of his massive arms. I’m pressed up and left immobile against his rock-hard chest. The coarse stubble of his day-old shave is rough against the skin of my cheek, scratching as he angles his chin down, his lips dangerously close to mine as they whisper in a growl.

The massive bulge between his legs presses into me and he moves to deepen the effect, knowing full well I feel the entirety of it against my stomach.

“
You
know what you need.
I
know what you need. You can fool yourself as best you can, Sugar, but you can’t fool me. I know right now you feel my rock-hard cock against you and you’re fighting against everything in you not to admit that you want it… that you know it’s the only thing capable of making you feel this way.”

I whimper as it twitches against me, knowing the power it harnesses. His lips are so close to mine as he speaks that I feel his tongue flicker against his teeth with his sounds and use all the restraint in every ounce of my being not to part my lips and take his mouth in mine, to fight that dirty tongue with my own.

“I know you’re mad as hell at me and even madder at yourself for wanting to give in, let me throw you over my shoulder, smack your ass hard enough to make it hurt just the way you like it and to I carry you to our bed where I will make you scream over and over just how much you fucking love when I
tame
you as you come hard enough to forget how much you hate me right now.”

My knees begin to wobble and I’m not sure if it’s the disorientation that caused the car crash or his words that are responsible. Our bodies meld together in sync as our heart rates, our body temperature, our breathing... everything matches.

For just the briefest of moments, it seems as if all of our problems, every issue could be solved by just giving into each other. That it could be something as simple as admitting the need we have for each other. That’s all that matters isn’t it? Everything else is just background noise.

The only parts of our bodies that aren’t touching are our lips, and that’s quickly rectified from the harsh hands behind my back pulling in once more.

“Just say yes, baby. Say yes and I’ll do it right now. We’ll work all the other shit out and it’ll be just like before. It’ll be better.”

His lips tickle against mine as he speaks, pleading his case, coming dangerously close to winning. I feel his hot breath on me and gasp as it causes me to flashback to all the times that heat spread over me.

It could be this easy. I believe him
.

I moan deliciously as his hand reaches up and grabs the thick hair above my neck, holding tightly.

“Say yes and I will make sure your only regret is every second you hesitated before doing it.” His red-hot tongue darts out to caress my lip and I whimper, parting my own lips to play along the next time it happens.

Who am I fooling? What makes me think that I have any right to fight against something that is so magnetic, so hypnotizing, like the connection between the two of us?

“Y-” I’m ready to admit defeat but am interrupted by the bright headlight that’s just turned the corner and pinned on us as the loud Harley approaches.

The moment is broken, shattered as we both look to our intruder with blinded eyes.

“You called your
brother
?” he asks.

CHAPTER SEVEN

Jay stands uncomfortably before us, with his recently parked bike cooling.

“You two cool now?” he asks, confused, as he’d seen us wound up in each other’s arms as he approached before I cautiously step away.

Clink nods, reaching out for me. “We’re good, Jay. I’ve got this.”

My mind takes advantage of the moment and gains some clarity. I shake Clink off.

“No… we’re not.”

Clink looks confused. I can see Jay drop his head. Both men are obviously not happy with my answer.

“Just because we have some…” I move my hand wildly between the two of us, “attraction, or whatever the hell this is, doesn’t fix shit, Clink. It’s broken. It’s destroyed.”

“All right, you two. Let’s not let this get out of hand. It’s late, Charlie, I’ll take you home. You guys can talk this out another time,” Jay intervenes.

“Bro, don’t get involved. This is between me and my Ol’ lady.” Clink draws his imaginary line in the sand.

Jay rolls his eyes. “You two think I wanna be in this position? The last place in the world I wanna be is between
your
dick and
my
sister,” he answers his longtime friend.

I begin to feel guilty for having called him.

“But, as long as you two got this bad shit goin’, I’m not about to turn my back if she needs me” Jay steps right up to that invisible line and comes face-to-face with Clink.

I feel something I’ve never felt before. I don’t even know what it is, but it’s good.

Jay turns to me, “Say the word, Charlie. If you tell me to go… I’m gone. If you want me to take you home, then I’ll do that, too. It’s your call.”

I’m caught between the two bikers, one on either side, as they stare each other down.

“I need to get out of here,” I announce and take the helmet from Jay as he offers it to me.

I’m busy buckling the chin strap as he takes a minute to finally notice my Jeep. “What the hell happened here?”

“Driving while impaired.” Clink sells me out in a heartbeat.

I snap my head around to face him and scowl. “Don’t you dare!”

The evil gleam to his eye is back. “Oh no, baby. You wanna get your brother all mixed in with our shit? Then he’s gonna get
ALL
mixed in.”

Jay turns to me. “What’s he talkin’ about?”

Fuck
.

~*~

“Two coffees, black, and a plate of fries.”

Jay waits for the waitress as she writes down the order on her little pad. I feel his eyes on me but find that I can’t meet them. I do anything I can to avoid the look of disappointment that I know is in them.

I stare at the salt shaker, the paper placemat, the little table-top jukebox, the neon lights through the window…
anything
to distract myself.

“How long’s this been going on?” he finally loses patience with me.

I exhale deep. “
Nothing’
s going on, Jay. I took a few pain pills for my back since the procedure. Nothing illegal. Nothing that wasn’t prescribed.”

I can’t believe I have to explain myself. I can’t believe Clink ratted me out.

“How many you got left?” he asks. I search his voice for the hidden judgment that should be there, but can’t seem to find it.

I shake my head, “None.”

It’s true. Clink took the last ones.

The waitress sets down two saucers, one in front of each of us, with a generic-looking mug atop.

“Thanks,” he acknowledges the kind woman, before she sets the steaming plate of crispy fried potatoes between us. “Could we have some honey mustard?”

The woman smiles and nods, taking the request before leaving us. I grin.

“What?” he asks.

I take a sip of the coffee. “Nothing. It’s just… I like honey mustard on my fries, too. Never met anyone else who does.”

Jay arches his eyebrow. “Guess it’s a gene thing.”

We both laugh.

“So… about the pills…” He redirects the conversation right back to where he wants it.

“Jay,” I blurt out. “It’s over, really. I promise. It’s just… it’s been rough.”

He purses his lips, “I’m not gonna go through all the people who need for you to not go down that road, Charlie. It’s too long. You’re a Cauley, whether or not you want to admit it. I think I’ve always seen it in your eyes without actually recognizing it. It’s a strength.”

He sips his steaming cup before adding, “And of all those people, all those reasons for you to turn this thing around before it turns into something bad, the biggest one is Brendan.”

The mere mention of the small boy’s name is enough to break my heart and cause an immeasurable amount of guilt to well. I feel a lump forming deep in my throat, blocking words from escaping.

“All things happen for a reason, sis.” The title seems odd, but ironically soothing, coming from him. “I have to believe that. There’s no way that all the shit between Lil’s and I could have worked out the way it did unless there was a higher power working to set things right. You coming into town just in time to help save Pops… there ain’t no other way to explain that either.”

I’d never thought about what would have happened if I hadn’t made the decision all those months ago to move to this little town…

“And I know it doesn’t seem much compared to those things, but you coming here proves something else to me. See… I’d watch people like Lil’s and her older brother, Tiny, and I’d feel like something was missing. A part of me felt like I needed that, like I was not whole. Turns out… I had it the entire time, just didn’t know about it. It’s not something I’m lookin’ to give up anytime soon, sis. So you don’t do anything stupid to go fuckin’ it all up like getting mixed in with pills, ‘kay?”

I close my eyes and listen to his words, taking them in and letting them set deep. They’re not judgmental, their not condescending…. they’re just honest. It’s not a way I’m familiar with, having not heard that heartfelt, genuine, concern since my dad, before he passed. 

“Jay, I mean it. It’s over. Done,” I make the resolution, fully determined to carry through with the promise.

My new brother smiles and grabs a fry, scooping it through the small well of deep golden mustard.

“Good. ‘Cause Brendan needs a ma. He already lost one getting hooked on junk.”

Whatever strong resolve I may have had due to Jay’s earlier points has just been trumped by perhaps the most important reason yet to straighten this shit out.

~*~

“You’re home early.” Dana’s voice is groggy.

I fully expected her to still be sleeping at this hour, seeing as the sun hasn’t even begun to rise yet. I shut the door and toss my keys into the decorative bowl on the table before kicking off my nursing shoes.

“Yeah, it’s kind of a long story.” She listens as she pours a cup of tea from the kettle. “Since when do I have a tea kettle?”

She may be tired but she’s awake enough to laugh at my question.

“Just picked up a few things from the store. Want some?” Dana holds up the pretty-looking metal handle, tempting me.

I nod, “Why not?”

The pouring liquid splashes and streams into a second cup as I breathe in the rich aroma from across the room.

“I wanted to talk to you, Dana.” I hadn’t planned on doing it at five in the morning, but sometimes an opportunity just presents itself.

Her eyebrow arches in curiosity as she sets the ceramic cups down for us, sliding into the seat across the small table.

“I wanted to apologize.”

My confession catches her slightly off guard. “For?”

I take a long sip of the hot herbal tea and plan my words.

“They way you found me the other day…” I begin.

She interrupts. “You scared the shit out of me, Charlie.”

“I know, Dana. I’m sorry,” I breathe out. “I know you did what you needed to by going through my bag and-”

“I shouldn’t have done that,” she’s quick to add.

I shake my head, disagreeing with her. “No. You were right to do it. I was getting out of hand.”

She eyes me, knowing that I don’t easily admit my wrongs.

“Charlie… I know you have a whole new family, a new life, but-”

I reach out for her slender hand and take it in mine. “Dana, you’re always going to be my sister.”

I’m not sure if she believes me. A small glimmer of a tear appears in the corner of her eye and she avoids my gaze.

“I lost daddy, too, Charlie. I know you never really liked me but I can’t lose my big sister, too.” She sniffles.

I swallow. “Dana. It doesn’t matter if we didn’t always get along. You’re my baby sister, we’re not supposed to get along all the time. But, there’s always going to be a place for you in my life. And I promise… no more stupid shit, Okay?”

She squints her eyes. “No more pills?”

I smile. “No more pills.”

We both drink awkwardly in the moment.

“So…” I’m not very good at the sisterly conversational skills, as we’re usually screaming at each other. “T.J.”

Her almond-shaped eyes roll sarcastically. “He’s so confusing.”

I laugh. “He’s a biker. They don’t exactly come with a manual.”

Her eyes shine and dance with just the mere mention of the man’s name. I don’t think I’ve ever seen her like this before when it came to a guy.

“Listen, Dana. I have to tell you I don’t think it’s a good idea. He-” I search for the word to accurately describe the kid. “He’s got some baggage. Lil’s had a friend from college that T.J. was kind of sweet on. She was murdered, brutally, and he’s always blamed himself. I’m no expert on this stuff, but I know enough where it’s not something I want you getting mixed up in.”

The brief excitement I saw painted on her face when it came to T.J. is now crushed.

“Besides,” I add. “You have plans, Dana. You just finished culinary school. You want to open your own shop. I don’t want to see you get distracted.”

She nods. “I know. You’re right. It’s just- it’s just that you’ve always had something special about you, Charlie. Everyone saw it, growing up.
Everyone.
I never felt that. I was always the Plain Jane in the background. But with T.J… I don’t know. When he looks at me, it’s like he sees something special. It makes me feel like I
am
something special.”

I can’t believe the words I hear her say… my entire life I’ve been the one jealous of
her
! She has the girl-next-door classic beauty that women would kill for, that I never seemed to be able to pull off. Her sass and her vivaciousness make her one of the most interesting people to me… she’s never boring and
always
unpredictable.

How could she think she was nothing special?

I have vivid flashbacks of the way I felt growing up and remember the things mom had said to me. Let’s just say motherly advice wasn’t her strong suit. I’m not going to repeat her mistakes and perpetuate the cycle any further.

“Dana. You don’t need anyone to make you special. You’re already one of the most special people I’ve ever known. But, I know the feeling you’re talking about. I’m not going to tell you how to live your life. You’re the one who’s going to have to look back on it in fifty years and figure out if you lived it the way you wanted. We both had enough of other people telling us how to live. You do what’s right for
you
, just make sure you think through whatever it is.”

I hold up my half-empty mug to toast her and the decisions she’ll have to make soon. Her own mug is held high and clinks against mine as we seal the agreement.

“Cheers!” We both laugh.

~*~

I quickly throw on the nearest t-shirt, not noticing how thin the material is until I’m already heading down the hallway. It’s not like I had much time to dress. My hair is still soaked, for God’s sake.

Dana knocked on the door letting me know I have a visitor just as I began to towel dry. I had heard the front door and just assumed it was T.J. arriving for his daily assignment of spying, or “watching over” me as he likes to claim.

Learning that the early morning visitor is someone other than who I’d expected is a little alarming.
When the fuck did I get so popular?

I feel the tissue thin fabric of the shirt molding to my still-moist skin as I hold my hair up, fiddling with the small towel around it to secure it.

“Are you sure I can’t get you a drink? Some coffee? We have tea, too. You must be so tired from your shift.”

I can hear Dana’s well-rehearsed offers of hospitality and my curiosity is peaked.

I stop short once I turn the corner to spot Dr. Walker standing in the middle of my living room. His eyes instantly hone in on my super short yoga bottoms and threadbare top. The surprise of seeing him startles me and cause my nipples to harden, pressing against the nearly invisible shirt that I’m cursing myself for wearing.