Billy (40 page)
l ll2 I
Albert /t'rm1cl1
there. They gonna just think
you
the best thi ng that
ever come
down t here.''
Preacher Man
Sam
was a picki n man from down in Dillard
Cou nty,
big flabby
yellow-skinned
man wi th little beady
eyes
that look blodshot all the ti me.
State of Mississippi
knew he killed his wife and children and tried to hang them up on big
crosses
he made for them. He told the
State
they had the devil in them. Preacher Man Sam comes to his cell bars
and shouts,
"Lord's day a
comin,
Lord's
day
a
comin,
gonna be thunder and lightnin likes
ya ain't
never
seen.''
"Shut the fuck up. Shut u p,
you crazy-ass
nigger,'" Jimmy Johnson shouts from his
cell.
He is a tall
slender
man
of
thirty-five with dark brown but shiny
skin.
He came back to Jackson from New
York
City
with some of
them big-city
ways.
Debbie Ross, a twenty-four-year-old Jackson white
woman, said
Jimmy Johnson raped her. Jimmy
Johnson said she couldn't stay away
from him.
The night and days began to
creep by.
The days
were, "Hey,
Sack Man,
ya see
them big
buildins up
there
in Chi cago?
Ya
see a picture show? Ah seen em big
buildi ns in my mama's picture
books.
They's big, huh?"
The nights had a
different way,
if the lights
came on,
the
silence came.
It
would be someone's
time.
The guards
and the warden would follow
the sound of
the
big door
being
opened.
The lights
come on.
Billy wakes
and sits on
his
cot.
The
sound of footsteps
near, and then he watches
men
walk
by.
He hears them
stop and
a
cell
door
clank
open, then
a
big
voice saying, "Gilbe1t
Knox, it's time. Are
you
read
y
?"
Shuffling
sounds come,
and muffled words, then
the
sound of
the
cell
door
closing and
the foot
s
teps
going away. The lights
go
back
off
and the night
goes on.
A day
or so
later,
Wilson
Wagner
came,
he l ived
right
down
B I L L }'
I 183
the road from
the prison, in
the
little
town
of Troyville, he
is a preacher and the prison
chaplain. Wilson Wagner is a
small thin man with
slow ways
and
calm eyes,
he
comes
to
see
Billy on his
weekly rounds.
Guard Russell Vent
comes
with him.
Billy hears the locked
door opened
and
the footsteps com-
ing and looks up from his
cot.
"Billy, how
ya
doin,
son?"
Wilson
Wagner
asks. Billy is silent
and
just
stares.
"Russell, why don't
ya open
up
and
let me
sit awhile with
this boy."
Billy watches his
cell
door being
opened and squirms back on
his cot, but keeps his
eyes
on the man
who is
nearing
him. Wilson
Wagner sits
gently
down
on
Billy
'
s cot and
looks
at
him a moment before
saying, "Billy, I'm
Reverend
Wilson
Wagner. I'm the
chaplain
here
at
the
prison
.
Most of
the
men
call
me Wil. I've
come
to
see
how
you're
doing." Billy puts his head
down
and is
only silent.
Wilson Wagner
smiles
a little, reaches
over and
puts
his
hand on Billy's
shoulder,
and
says, "I
heard
ya were
here,
and
I brought
ya something
I th i nk
ya
just
mi ght
li ke.
Ya
l ike these?"
The Chaplain reaches into his pocket
and brings out
two
candy
bars. Billy
sees
his hand move, hear
s
the
crackling of
the
candy
wrap,
and
looks into the
Chaplain's hand, then
looks up
at
his
face.
"Go
on,
son,
take them, they're
yours," Wilson Wagner
whispers.
Billy reaches for the
candy
bars
and
th
e
n
sets peel ing off one
of the wrappers.
"How old are
ya, son?"
Wilson
Wagner asks what
he
a l
ready knows.
184 I Albert Fre11ch
"Ah
ten.
Ah
be
leven
in Febueries."
''Sack
Man over there takin
care of
ya?"
Wilson Wagner
says
loud
enough for Sack
Man to hear.
"Sack
Man my
friend.
Him
and
me friends. He be in Chi
cago.
H
e
be in a
big
war
wi t
Germans,"
Billy
says with
quick
words and big eyes.
Wilson
Wagner
smiles
as Billy
goes on about
Sack Man,
then
ask, "Billy, do
you
know about Jesus? Did ya go
ta
Sun day
school?"
Billy is
still
thinking about Sack Man, but his thoughts
slow
as he
sees
the Patch
church in
his mind and he
can
hear Reverend Sims hollerin, and answers,
"Ah
goes sometime
.
Katey make me go.
"
"Is
Katey
ya
mama?"
"My mama Cinder. Katey
be
my
aunt, she
be
goin down
the Sunday
church
all the ti mes. She takes me
some
time.
"
"Did
ya
hear them
talkin
about Jesus Christ? Did they tell
ya
about Him?"
Wilson
Wagner leans
closer
to Billy, whispers about Jesus, waits
for
Billy to
speak of
Him.
"He be born
in
a
stable,
He
be
born there
wit animals all
round and
angels some
too."
"Can ya
read, Bill
y?
Can ya read the
Bibl
e?"
"Ah can
read some
words,
not them big kind. My mama
,
she
show me how to
read some
words
in
her
picture
books.
"
Wilson Wagner tells Billy
some stories,
tries to
explain
what his
faith
is to him.
"Fait h,
Billy, is,
is believin.
Thinkin real hard abou t
somet hi n ya
can'
t
see
but wa nt
to, and thinkin real hard about it, waitin
for
it to
come,
no matter
what
anyone
says.
Ya
still
think hard
about somethin ya want
and wait for it to
co
me. It's like when
y
a go fishin,
ya can't
see the fish deep in the water, but
ya
have faith that they are
there, and pretty
soon ya get one."
B I L L
y
I 185
Wilson Wagner is
silent
for a moment and takes a deep sigh, then says, "Billy,
ya
got to keep
ya faith,
son,
ya
got to pray for Jesus to save
ya.
He can do it."
Billy's days go
slow, start with first
light, food, and Sack
Man.
Late eve would
come,
and
sometimes
an early
silence.
Sack Man told Billy, "It's Jimmy's time."
In
the
night the lights came on, the footsteps
came,
Billy
watched
them pass and heard Wilson Wagner talkin about his Jesus.
Mississippi's December
came
and its eighteenth day
with
its first light, its food, and its morning grunts, moans, and shouts. But Sack Man
was
quiet.
"Hey,
Sack Man.
Sack
Man, what
ya doin?"
Billy
calls
across the walkway,
where
he sees Sack
Man
still
sittin on
his
cot.
Sack
Man doesn't answer, turns
away,
and looks
at
the
wall.
Dil Martin shouts over Billy's
calls, "Hey,
Sack Man,
Ah
bet they gonna give it to ya real slow, let
ya
simmer
. . . Hee
. . . hee . . . hee . . . Yes sir, Ah bet they gonna let ya simmer just like a old fat hog on a spit."
Preacher Man Sam starts,
"Lord
a
com
in, H
e's
just
a
comin. Gonna get all
ya sinners.
Bury
ya
in His hell. He's
a
comm
.
. . . .
"
Dil Martin shouts back at the Preacher
Man,
"Shut up,
ya
old
crazy
asshole,
ya
next. Hee . . . hee
. . .
hee . . .
ya
next
,
ya fat asshole. When they get
ya
fat ass in there, th
ey
gon na
keep that hot juice on
till
all that fat melt
off.
Hee . . . he
e."
"Lord's
a comin. Lord's just a
comin
. . .
,"
Preacher Man
keeps on preachin.
Billy shouts over the Preacher Man's holl
e
ri n, "Sack Ma n
,
Sack Man, they's
electrics ya?
I t
be
ya
time, hu h? The
ys
come and
gits ya
tonight, Sack Man?"
186 I Albert French
The day passes
slowly and silently
for Billy, then nears its
end.
"
Billy boy,
ya
just
remember
them
words
Wil be teachin
ya,
and
ya
rememb
er
old
Sack Man.
Um
readies for my ti me,
been ready, done seen
my days. Ain't
sorry for
too many things.
Sorry
abouts that mans Ah had ta
do
what
Ah did, but Ah sorrier
for what
they
Ifs
Ah gits
up there and
sees
Jesus, Um gonna tells Him ta takes
c
are of
ya."
Sa
c
k
Man spoke
slowly as he leaned on his
ce
ll bars and watched the day's light fade in the high
window over
the
ce
llblo
c
k
wall.
Nighttime and th
e
dark comes.
Billy
sits
quietly on his
cot,
from time to time he
ge
ts up and
presses his face against his
bars and
stares
acro
ss
the
walkway into Sack
Man's
cell. Ex cept
for Dil
Martin's shouts
that
come
and
last
u n til
he laughs, th
e
night
i
s
quiet. Billy waits with
Sac
k
Man.