Big Girls Do Cry (7 page)

In the heat of the argument, he’d smacked the shit out of me on his way out the door. Of course, I was pissed at first, but once I calmed down and thought about it, I realized I had pushed him too far. I had said some pretty belittling things to him, and I guess he had just reached his breaking point.

You see, it takes two to argue, and I’m a sister who is used to making her point, so I say whatever is on my mind and let the chips fall where they may. It seems that with my husband, I had
made one point too many, and he decided to end the argument by picking up his keys and heading for the front door. You just don’t walk out on me, so I snatched his keys from his hand and blocked the door. That’s when he called me a bitch.

I’ve heard that saying: “Sticks and stones can break your bones, but words will never hurt you.” That’s crap. Don’t nobody call me a bitch to my face and get away with it. I slapped the shit out of him, and trust me, I’m a big, heavy-handed black woman, so I know that shit hurt. What I totally forgot was that even though I’m big and heavy-handed, I’m still a woman. When his hand came across my face, I slid down the door and the pain reminded me that he was a man. I didn’t try to stop him from leaving after that.

“You should have changed the locks,” Jerome said.

After Leon left that night, I’d called Jerome for some comfort. I tried to convince him that the whole incident was my fault, but he wasn’t having it. He’d been trying for the longest time to get me to leave Leon. To him, there should have been no question about kicking Leon out after he put his hands on me.

“You want me to put his ass out, Loraine? ‘Cause I will,” he said as I unfastened my seat belt. “All you gotta do is say the word, girl, and his ass is gone. Ain’t nothin’ but a thang.” Jerome tried his best to stay calm, but I could hear the anger in his voice.

I understood how he felt, but that didn’t change the fact that I loved my husband and still wanted my marriage to work. In truth, as I looked at his car in the driveway, all I could think about was whether he was home to stay or just picking up some clothes to leave again.

“No, Jerome. I can handle it.” I forced my voice to sound confident, but deep down, I was hopeful at best.

Jerome shook his head. “You gonna take his ass back, aren’t you? That man put his hands on you, and you’re taking him back.”

I stared blankly at my friend before speaking. Maybe it was because he seemed to have no problem jumping from one lover to the next, but Jerome just didn’t get it: I loved Leon too much to give up on our marriage. “I’m going inside to talk to my husband, Jerome. It’s not his fault he hit me. I hit him first.”

“If that’s your story.” Jerome locked his eyes on mine. “He still shouldn’t have put his hands on you. He don’t got the right. Not after all you’ve done for him. That man wouldn’t have a roof over his head if it wasn’t for you.” Jerome looked disgusted. “That man doesn’t deserve you, Loraine. You’re too good for his no-good jealous ass. Sooner or later, you’ve got to let go, or he’s going to drag you down with him.”

“Will you stop it? He’s not jealous, and he’s not going to drag me down. He’s just going through a hard time with the construction industry in such a slump. Now’s the time I’ve got to support him, not knock him down.”

“Well, next time he blackens your eye, don’t call me—unless you want me to go to jail for knocking his ass down a flight of stairs.”

“There won’t be a next time.”

The way he looked at me said,
Sure there won’t
.

Ignoring his eyes, I leaned over, wrapping my arms around his two-hundred-plus–pound frame and giving him a kiss on his cheek before reaching for the door handle. “I love him, Jerome. Just remember that I love him.”

“I know you love him, sis. That’s the only reason he’s not wearing these size fourteen gators in the crack of his ass.” Jerome blew me a kiss. “I swear that must be some really good dick.”

“Don’t you wish you knew?” I smirked as I stepped out of the car.

“We’re friends, Loraine. That’s not something you want me to pursue. Or have you forgotten my track record with married men?”

We both burst out laughing. “Don’t even try it, Jerome. If I catch you near my husband, we gonna have a problem.”

“Hey, don’t get your panties in a bunch. I’m just teasing, girl. You know he ain’t even my type.”

“Please. Your type is anyone with a big dick swinging between his legs.”

“Hmm, you’re right about that. But anyway, listen, are you sure you don’t want me to come inside? Just to make sure everything’s aw-ight? I mean, he has gotten out of hand before.”

“No, no, I got it, okay? I’ll see you at work in the morning.”

“Are you sure?” He leaned across the passenger seat and looked in my eyes. I knew what he was doing. Jerome was very good at reading people’s faces. But I wasn’t lying; I wanted him to leave so there wouldn’t be any confrontation.

“Yes, absolutely.”

“Aw-ight, girl, I’ll see you in the morning.” He sat back up in his seat. “Keep your head up. Remember, tomorrow’s the big meeting.”

“How could I forget? Good night, Jerome.”

I walked to the door, preparing myself mentally before placing my key in the lock and turning the knob. I had no idea what to expect from Leon. Truth is, I was glad he was home but was afraid of where things might go.

As I entered the foyer, I noticed him in the living room situated off to my right. He was sitting in the love seat by the window with a drink in his hand and a bottle of Hennessy resting on the end table next to him.

Is this his first drink, or one of many?

Suddenly, I wished I had taken Jerome up on his offer to escort me inside. Leon had never been too much of a drinker, until a few years ago when his construction company fell upon hard times after he lost a government contract. I couldn’t tell how many drinks he’d consumed, but a drunken Leon was not the person I wanted to deal with tonight. I was hoping he’d be sober so we could talk. I missed talking to him; lately all we did was argue.

“Where you been?” he asked without emotion as I entered the room.

He had some nerve asking me that after being gone all week, but I answered him nonetheless. “Jerome and I went to—”

“So, you been hanging out with that sissy again?” Leon let out a disdainful laugh. “What the hell is it about that faggot you like so much anyway?”

Oh, boy, here we go
. I hated Leon’s homophobia.

“I like him because he’s my friend, Leon,” I stated flatly. “And if you think he’s so much of a sissy, why don’t you tell him that to his face?”

“You know me, baby. I’m a lover, not a fighter,” he said with this stupid smile on his face.

That black eye I had last week says different. “You’re not funny, Leon.”

Leon frowned at me. “You act as if you like him more than you do me.”

“Damn right, sometimes I do. Jerome’s like a brother to me. When your ass isn’t around, he’s always there for me. I love you, Leon, but sometimes I don’t like you.”

“Look, I apologize. I didn’t come home to fight. I came home to be with my wife.”

That made me feel a little better, but I was still not convinced he was being sincere.

“So, why did you come home, Leon? I thought you were leaving for good.”

“This is my house, and you’re my wife. I just needed a few days to cool off.” He smiled and sipped on his drink. He even had the nerve to look sexy. “Plus, I got a call from Rashad. He congratulated me on being fully vested in his hedge fund. No need to fight if I got what I wanted.”

“True,” I replied. To be honest, that’s the way I saw it too. That’s why I gave Rashad the money. I loved my husband enough to let him win this one.

“He said you dropped off a cashier’s check.”

“Yeah, I did.”

“I’m a little confused. You said you couldn’t afford to give me my interest in your company.”

It’s our company. Why can’t he see that? We’re supposed to be a team.

“What I couldn’t afford was losing my husband. I went to the bank and got a loan.” I could tell he was shocked. I just hoped he was grateful, because I’d put our financial future on the line to keep our marriage intact.

“Thank you, baby. This is gonna be big. You’ll see.”

“I hope so, Leon. That’s a lot of money to give to one person. Every financial person I know warned me against it.” If I hadn’t already made money with Rashad—with a much smaller initial investment, mind you—I probably wouldn’t have done it.

“It will be. So, where have you and your
friend
been?” Interesting, now that he felt he’d won our fight, Leon refrained from taking jabs at my gay friend.

“We were just out for a few drinks.”

He finished off his drink with a laugh. “Oh, and here I am thinking you was out with the fat girls book club.”

“No, the Big Girls Book Club,” I replied, hating that lately he had to put down everything and everyone I was associated with.

“And you are a big girl, aren’t you? My big girl!” He smiled sincerely, standing up. Everything he had said up to now had sounded derogatory, but now his voice had a seductive tone to it. So did the way he approached me. “You are still my big girl, aren’t you?”

I didn’t answer, but I did remember why I missed him and wanted him home so bad. I loved Leon. I loved him to death. He was smart, funny, and a great husband—when he wasn’t consumed with self-pity and doubt.

I took in his handsome six-foot-five frame. Leon was as fine a forty-five-year-old man as you’re going to find. He was tall, chocolate, and slim. There was a little gray around the temples, but when he entered a room, women paid attention.

In the beginning, I found it hard to believe that a man as successful and as handsome as he was could be so attracted to a big-boned sister like me, but he was. I learned shortly after we started dating that Leon had always been a chubby chaser. I didn’t have anything to worry about when it came to the Tyra Banks and Beyoncé types, but if Mo’Nique or that woman who plays the mother on Tyler Perry’s
House of Payne
ever came around, I was taking my husband and heading for the hills.

He winked at me as he came closer, undressing me with his eyes while taking in my full-figured curves. He had a way of making me feel like I was absolutely the most beautiful woman he’d ever seen.

“I missed you, baby.” He stepped closer, sliding his arms around my waist. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to call you out your name. I was just frustrated. I didn’t mean to lose—”

I placed my hand over his lips. “It’s okay. You’re just going through a hard time.”

He lowered his head until his lips covered mine.

I almost submitted to his advances, but I caught myself in time. “Stop, baby. We need to talk.”

I gently pushed him away. I didn’t want to fight about money anymore, but we still had some unfinished business to discuss. I wanted to talk to Leon about his leaving. Would he promise to never hit me again? Was he back to stay? Most of all, where had he been for the past few days?

Suddenly Leon reached down and cupped my breasts in his hands. It was a soft, feathery motion, which slowly built momentum, but there was an expert manipulation of my nipples. He knew my spot. Although I still wore my suit, I could feel the heat starting to rise inside me from his touch. He began kissing my neck, and my knees gave way.

Every woman has her own special erogenous spot, the one that can take her from an ice princess to a sultry tigress in a nanosecond. Well, Leon knew mine after five years of marriage. All resolve melted when his hand found its way under my blouse and made direct contact with my breast. I felt myself ready to spread my wings. Besides, it had been a while since we’d made love.

“Stop,” I moaned, but I felt my back arch, my arms roping around his neck as he kneaded my nipples. His lips worked their way up my neck to my lips. I opened my mouth and took in his tongue. “No, Leon. Not now,” I murmured. My mouth said no, but my body screamed yes.

“You know you want it,” he whispered. I didn’t answer with words but guided his head back to my neck. He worked his way up and down my neck, opening another button of my blouse with each succulent kiss. Next thing I knew, he’d gently pushed me down on the sofa. My blouse was fully open now, with both his hands kneading my exposed breasts. He wasted no time bringing his lips to my nipples, sucking them like a newborn babe. I’d never felt such heat, such animal passion with Leon. It was like he was a totally different man. If it were possible, I would say this was the best our sex had ever been.

His skin against mine felt like fire. His fingertips were touching hidden crevices he’d never touched before. I have no idea
how or when our clothes came off, but somehow they did. When Leon mounted me, my body was ready and begging to be satisfied. I don’t think I’d ever been that horny in my entire life.

With all that being said, I was afraid things were not going to end up as planned. You see, Leon, who was a very well-endowed man, had run into some major stamina problems the last few years. It was a secret I’d kept even from Jerome, because the last thing I wanted was for anyone to think my husband was less than a man in the bedroom. The frustrating part was that Leon was such an egomaniac in the bedroom that he didn’t have a clue. Things were so bad in my sex life that I hadn’t had an orgasm in almost six months, and I’d given myself that one; however, I was determined to get mine tonight.

“Slow, Leon. Take it slow,” I pleaded.

“Girl, I know what I’m doing. You know you like that shit hard and fast,” he said as he entered me like a bull. I tried to hold his hips to slow him down. I was so sexually charged that I would need only a few minutes to reach my climax. All I had to do was get him to hold off a little while longer and we’d both be happy. Hell, I’d be elated.

He was doing great for the first minute or so. I honestly thought this was going to be it. He was actually going to make me come. I was so pleased that I whispered encouragement in his ear. “That’s it, Leon. You’re gonna make me—” Just when I was about to reach my climax, he stiffened his back and collapsed on top of me.

No, no! I screamed inside. You’re almost there. Just move your hips a few more times.