Big Apple Dreams (19 page)

Chapter Twenty Three

“That was good, Mara.”

Raquel’s voice came through the master speaker, filling the space between us easily. While she sat in the light and sound booth in the back of the house, I stood on the stage with a few other actors, having just ran one scene.

“Let’s start it again from the top,” she continued. “Just so we can make sure you’ve really got it.”

I nodded, moving back into the wings and waiting for the prerecorded soundtrack to start up.

I’d been practicing like this for two day
s, every afternoon before the show started. The only day I’d had off was when there was a matinee performance and the stage wasn’t open. Even then, I’d gone to an extra-long voice lesson to practice all of my new music.

Each day was too busy to think about Evan, which I was still grateful for. I was always doing something, focusing my energy somewhere else. It was when I wasn’t working—which basically meant I was sleeping—that his face haunted me. He was in every part of my subconscious, alternating between telling me he loved me and that he never wanted to see me again. The resulting effect left me just as tired in the morning and made it that much harder to really concentrate on what I was doing at practice.

It wasn’t that I was handling my new part badly. Everyone could tell that I wasn’t doing my best, though, in my mind anyway. No one said anything about it, but after a hard day of work I could tell that I hadn’t quite met expectations.

Frustration grew within me continually. I managed to not think about what was bothering me while I was working, but it was still messing with what I needed to do. My secrets still remained unspoken, despite the fact of knowing I’d have to fess up if I wanted to work at one hundred percent.

Lizzy was mad at Evan, as well, that much was clear. She hadn’t exactly said it, but I was sure he was refusing to talk about me, or come to the show.

I felt bad keeping things from her, but I was more afraid of losing her
, as well. Lately, it felt like she was the only un-judgmental person I had in my life.

Maybe it’s all in my head
, I thought as the track started up again and we all started moving onto the stage.
I’m playing head games with myself. I got this job. I deserve this job. If I was doing badly, they would let me go.

I pushed the thoughts aside as I came into view, doing my best to play my character. It took all my energy, but by the end of the scene I felt like I’d given my best performance of the part yet.

“Great job
, guys,” Raquel said. “That’s it for the day. I’ll see you at the show tonight.”

The other cast members started to leave the stage, laughing and talking amongst themselves.

“Good job, Mara,” Julie, one of the actresses, said warmly as she left.

“Thank you,” I said softly, turning to follow.

“Hey, Mara, hang on a second,” Raquel said.

I turned back towards the house, shading my eyes as I tried to look up into the box she sat in. The lights died
, and I saw her stand up, removing her headset and moving to walk down towards the stage.

Oh no,
I thought nervously.
They wouldn’t actually fire me for having a few rough rehearsals, would they?

“Don’t look so scared,” she laughed as she came up to the lip of the stage. “I only need to run something by you.”

“Okay,” I said, trying to chuckle away the nerves.

“One of your understudy roles is Nessarose.”

“Yes.”

“We haven’t worked on that role any yet, but,” she looked at me expectantly
. “Our regular Wicked Witch of the East is leaving on vacation Sunday. Her understudy, Crystal, just called in about an hour ago. She’s got meningitis and the doctor says she can’t perform until the end of next week.”

“And I’m the understudy’s understudy,” I said slowly, realizing where she was going with this.

“Now, JoAnna said she can cancel her trip if we need her to. But, I think if you come in every morning, and we switch your ensemble rehearsals to Nessarose ones, you can be ready by Monday.”

“That’s in three days,” I laughed.

“I know,” she said confidently. “Can you do it?”

I looked at her for a second, biting down the instant yes I wanted to shout.

I could open on Broadway in a lead role! But Nessarose? Can I pull of playing a woman who suffers through life trying to win her unrequited love?

“I . . .,”

Evan. I’m in love with him and he doesn’t love me back. I could easily play this role. What if it turns out bad, though? What if I’m affected too much?

“When do we start?”

I sucked in a breath, suddenly realizing I had in fact just agreed to do it.

“Right now,” Raquel said with a grin. “You don’t mind staying later, do you?”

“Not at all.”

“Great! Let’s get into a practice room then. I’ll call the musical director to see if he’d like to come down and play the piano for us. We’ll also need to call wardrobe and have them finish the right costumes first.”

“Thank you,” I said suddenly. “I know it’s your job to do all of this, but I’ve felt like you’re my lifesaver here at the show. I couldn’t have done any of it without you.”

“You’re right,” she chuckled. “This is my job. But I really love doing it.”

“Lizzy, you shouldn’t have!”

A giant vase of fresh flowers sat on my dressing room table, Lizzy’s smiling face reflecting back at me through the mirror.

“It’s your opening night, of course I did!”

“Thank you,” I said, turning around and beaming at her. “They’re beautiful.”

“Well, I can’t take full credit. Your parent’s chipped in a little when they got here.”

“Oh good! Did they say how their flight was?”

“Good,” she laughed. “They are super nice, Mara. I think I love them like they were my own parents!”

“They’re awesome,” I giggled, turning back to the glass and picking up my makeup brush once more. “Did you check to make sure the tickets I saved for all of you were at the box office?”

“Not yet,” she said, shaking her head. “I wanted to come drop these off first. They’re up in the front
, though, so I imagine they’ve checked to see if everything is ready. Your mom insisted that they wait until after the show to see you so you wouldn’t be distracted.”

“I’ve missed my parents so much. They look good, right?”

“Stop worrying about Mom and Dad,” she laughed again. “This is your night. We’re here for you and your big Broadway debut. Now finish getting ready, so you can knock our socks off!”

“I will, I will,” I joked. “Do you want to hang out
, while I finish getting ready? It will only take a few more minutes, and then I’ll have to warm up.”

“Sure!”

We chatted a little more about my family as I finished my makeup and stripped down to get in my costume. I was happy to hear that everything was well with them. It was all I could do to keep from running outside to hug them right then.

“Mara,” Lizzy said suddenly. “Did you and Evan have a fight
, or something?”

All of the walls that I’d managed to put up over the past few days so I could do my job well crashed down.
Evan slid into everything, reminding me that I was loveless, just like the wicked witch I was about to play. And all it had taken was hearing his name out loud.

“Why do you ask?” I felt breathless and like I might pass out at any moment.

“He just, well—he’s been a jerk about coming to see the show. I tried my best, really, but he flat out told me he refuses to come to anything you’re at. It was never that way before. What happened?”

“Lizzy—”

“I don’t mean to pry,” she hurried to say. “I’m worried about you, that’s all.”

As I looked at her then, I knew I couldn’t keep it from her any longer. She deserved to know, especially if it was damaging her relationship with her brother. I needed to let it out as well, or tonight would go down as one of the more terrible of my life.
 

“Lizzy,” I said slowly, pulling my costume over my head and looking at myself in the mirror. “I broke up with Chris.”

“What?” she asked in confusion. “When did this happen?”

“Over a week ago. When we had that huge fight
, everything fell apart. It was a long time coming, though. Because, I didn’t have feelings for him anymore.”

“What do you mean?”

“I’d fallen in love with someone else.” I took a deep breath, steadying myself by holding onto the costume rack. “With Evan. I’d fallen in love with Evan.”

She looked at me with wide eyes, but stayed silent, to her credit.

“I thought he felt the same way, but I guess I was wrong.”

“What happened?” she asked softly.

“When I came home from the benefit, after Chris and I broke up, he was already there. He told me he’d come to see the two of us during his week off. We had a bit of a fight, because I was angry at him.”

“Because
, he didn’t feel the same way?”

“Partly. He hadn’t talked to me in over a month
, either. He never called to tell me he was leaving, or anything. My feelings were hurt.”

“And now he’s refusing to come see you because you fought about it,” she said glumly.

“No,” I said quietly, turning away from her. I didn’t want to see her face when I said the next part. “Our fight turned into something else and I . . . I slept with him, Lizzy. I’m so sorry.”

“You slept with him?”
she sounded shocked, to say the least. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

“I wanted to,” I said, turning to look at her again
. “But I was afraid that I’d ruined our friendship.”

“Mara,” she laughed. “You’re my best friend, whether you laid my brother
, or not!”

“Really?” Relief flooded through me as a great weight lifted off my chest.

“You’ve been down this whole time because you didn’t want me to find out about this?”

“Not exactly,” I grimaced. “He left before I woke up. There was a note asking me to stay away, basically.”

“What!” She looked angry now, her hands balling into fists as she looked at me. “He slept with you, and then bailed?”

I looked at the clock on the wall and felt a little shock of surprise.

“I have to go,” I said suddenly. “I need to do my warm ups right now, or I won’t be ready when it’s time for me to go on.”

She ground her jaw together and nodded, coming over and giving me a hug.

“You didn’t do anything wrong,” she said quietly. “You leave my stupid brother to me.”

“Don’t say anything to him,” I moaned.

“Break a leg tonight,” she said, squeezing me tighter. “You’re going to be amazing. I know it.”

She let go of me and smiled tightly before turning and leaving the room.

A deep breath escaped my chest. Surprisingly, I felt wonderful. Just as I’d thought, finally telling someone what had happened had helped me greatly. Lizzy being the person I told helped a great deal as well.

There was a knock at the door and Raquel peeked her head in.

“All ready?”

“Just warming up,” I said with a smile, easily pushing the details of my own life to the side.

“You look great,” she said with a wide smile. “Your put in rehearsal yesterday was great as well. You’re going to bring down the house.

“If you say so,” I laughed.

“Places in five minutes,” she chuckled, calling it out loud enough for everyone in the hall to hear as well.

“Places in five, thank you,” I sang out with whoever was out there.

“You’ll do great,” Raquel said again as she left.

I smiled, concentrating on getting my body ready. I may have been sitting in a chair for most of the show, but I still wanted to look as active as possible.

Five minutes later, I stood backstage, voice and body warm. The low roar of voices from the other side of the curtains gave me goose bumps, my heart beating much faster than normal.

This is it. My opening night on Broadway. My friends and family are in the audience. I did it. I made it.

The lights dimmed and the announcer’s voice came over the speakers, reciting the normal welcome speech.

With a crash, the music started
, and I felt my chills grow as the show began, several people around me entering the stage. I sang along with them, adding my voice for support as I was instructed. As the first scene ended, I took a seat in my wheelchair and waited for my entrance.

I let everything fall away, welcoming Nessarose into my being and within seconds was wheeled onto the stage, entering the world of
Wicked
.   

Chapter Twenty Four

The lights dimmed as we all waved to the audience, thanking them for coming to the show. The standing ovation remained just as loud
, even after we’d left the stage, heading into the back hall to change out of our costumes.

I stopped for a moment in the wings, a huge smile plastered to my face.

“You did great!” one of the stagehands said as he finished putting the props he was in charge of away.

“Thank you,” I laughed. “I feel amazing!”

“Let’s hope you feel that way every night this week,” he chuckled.

“Oh, I will,” I said without a doubt.

I grinned even wider as I walked out into the back hall and down the stairs to the dressing rooms to change.

“Great job, Mara!”

“You sounded awesome!”

“Welcome to the cast!”

I felt like I had another family in my cast, even though I’d only been with them for a short time. My fifth grade self was positively bursting from joy to be experiencing what I was.

“Hey, Mara, do you want to go out for some drinks to celebrate?”

“I can’t,” I said over my shoulder, responding to whoever had hailed me. “My parents are in town and I’m going out with them. Thanks, though!”

I hurried into my space and undressed, the high from performing still going like never before.
I couldn’t wait to get outside and see my parents and hear what they thought of the show.

After a few minutes, I was changed and had wiped off my stage makeup, replacing it with the basics of my normal makeup. It only took a few minutes longer to fix my hair
. Before even I knew it, I was on the way out the door.

“Hey, you played Nessarose!”

I stopped short, two women standing in front of me.

“Can we take a picture with you?”

“Sure,” I laughed, a surreal feeling taking over.

“Can you sign our playbills, too? Were from out of town
, and just love the show.”

“Yeah,” I said, smiling. “What are your names?”

“I’m Lacey, and this is my best friend Belinda,” one of them said.

I signed their programs and thanked them, noticing Lizzy and my parents standing just down the road.

“Thank you,” Belinda said as I walked by.

“No, thank you!” I chuckled, waving at the two of them.

“Oh, Mara,” my mom laughed, tears in her eyes as I walked up and gave her a big hug. “You were so wonderful!”

“Fantastic,” my dad said, accepting the hug I gave him next. “We’re very proud of you.”

“I’ve missed you so much,” I said happily, reaching out and pulling Mom into a group hug.

“You really were great,” Lizzy said, a grin of her own growing by the second. “I knew you would be
, though.”

“Thank you,” I said again, turning to hug her as well.

“Are you hungry?” Mom asked.

“I’m starving
, actually,” I chuckled.

“Why don’t we go eat at Olive Garden?” Dad suggested.

“Ugh,” Lizzy said, making a face. “Normally, I would refuse. But since you’re from out of town and don’t have one where you live, I’ll let it slide this time.”

“Workers get free food on their break,” I laughed. “She eats there all the time.”

“Well, thank you for agreeing,” Mom laughed. “I love it and the closest one is two hours from our house.”

“Dang. You weren’t joking when you said the middle of nowhere, were you, Mara?” Lizzy laughed.

We started walking down the street towards Times Square when I suddenly realized I’d left my phone in the dressing room.

“Shoot! I forgot my phone. You guys go ahead, I’ll catch up.”

“Are you sure?” Mom asked.

“Yeah. I’ll just be a few minutes.”

I turned around and hurried back to the stage door, dodging the small crowd of people that had gathered to meet the women playing tonight’s main leads.

“Everything okay, Mara?” the security guard asked.

“Yeah, I just forgot something,” I laughed. “Silly me.”

I hurried down the hall and into the dressing room, spotting my phone right where I’d left it before the show.

I crossed the small space and scooped it up, laughing at myself for being too excited to leave.

“Mara?”

I turned around to see who was speaking and felt the same surprised shock I had just over a week earlier.

“Evan? What are you doing here?”

“Oh, thank goodness,” he said, crossing the room and letting the door fall shut behind him.

He gathered me into his arms and crushed his lips to mine, relief apparent in the action.

“What—” I said, breaking away in confusion.

“I thought I’d missed you,” he chuckled, pulling me against him and stroking my hair with one hand.

My heart sputtered as he leaned in and kissed me again, his mouth moving softly against mine. With weak knees and a protesting body, I pulled away again, looking into his beautiful eyes.

“I’m really confused,” I confessed simply.

“I know,” he said sadly. “I’m so sorry, Mara.”

“What’s going on?”

“I love you,” he said simply, his thumb brushing over my cheek. “I’ve always loved you. I didn’t know you felt the same way, though.”

“Lizzy called you,” I sighed, finally connecting at least one thing. “I don’t understand why you’re here
, though.”

I pushed away, backing up and leaning against the counter. Thankfully, he stayed put.

“I know,” he said frowning. “I owe you an explanation.”

“I’d say so,” I said, telling my body to calm down for just a few more minutes.

“The night you came and watched the show with me, when you sang on stage, I knew that I was in love with you. I mean, I liked you before that, but when I saw you perform it was like I was seeing a special part of you. Something that you’d never shown to anyone else before. But you had a boyfriend. I couldn’t do anything.”

“So you were a jerk because of Chris?”

“No!” He took a step forward, and then decided against it, moving back to his original place. “I mean, yes. I thought that if I was standoffish that I could get over whatever I was feeling.

“You remember Steph, right? Well, when we were dating she cheated on me. The first time my feelings were really hurt. I thought I was in love with her
, and she just threw me away like nothing. When she came back, begging for forgiveness, I let her back in. And then she did it, again.”

“Ouch,” I said softly.

“I swore that I would never do that to someone,” he said in a gravely tone. “Including being the person that made someone cheat. But the longer I was around you,”

“The harder it got,” I said, nodding. I knew exactly what he was talking about. The more I’d seen him
, the more I wanted to be with him.

“Yeah. So, when I had the opportunity to leave on the tour, I took it. I didn’t know how much longer I could go without telling you how I felt and begging you to leave your boyfriend.”

“Why did you leave after we were together then?” I asked, all the hurt I’d been feeling laced through my voice.

“I didn’t want to,” he said, moving forward to comfort me. “I didn’t know you’d broken up with him. I thought I’d done the one thing I’d sworn to never do. I hated myself for it
, and I knew that I’d do it again if I didn’t leave right then.”

“You made me feel unwanted,” I said softly. “You made me feel like I’d done something wrong
, or that I was just a booty call.”

“You are none of those things,” he said, taking my hand and softly pulling me towards him. “Leaving was the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do. I wanted to stay there with you forever, you have to believe me.”

“You really love me?” I asked, biting my lip as I looked into his eyes, waiting for the answer.

“I love you more than I’ve ever loved anyone my entire life,” he laughed. “When Liz called and told me what you’d said tonight,
I got in my mom’s car, and practically sped the whole way here. I thought you’d already left when I got here, and I was going to have to come find you.”

“I’m surprised I didn’t punch you in the nose when I saw you,” I laughed, finally allowing myself to relax into his embrace.

“I would have kissed you, anyway,” he laughed, his hand winding into my hair again. “Can you ever forgive me for what I did?”

I looked at him again, relishing in the feel of his arms around me once more.

“You have a lot to make up for,” I teased, wrapping my own arms around him.

“And I will work at it every day for the rest of my life,” he said leaning in.

“I love you, Evan.”

“I love you, Mara.”

Our lips met again and a swarm of butterflies erupted in my stomach.

He loves me! Evan really loves me!

All of my pains and doubts melted away as we stood there together, sharing the parts of ourselves that we wanted only the other to see. Several breathless minutes passed before I suddenly broke away, giggling.

“What?” he asked in confusion.

“Everyone is waiting for me at the restaurant, I just remembered! They’re probably worried, since I haven’t made it back, yet.”

“That’s right. Your parents came for the show.”

“Would you like to meet them?”

“Of course,” he said with a grin. “They’re going to have to wait a few minutes though.”

“Why is that?”

“I’m not done kissing you
, yet.”

I squealed as he grabbed me even tighter, laying his wonderful mouth on me once more.