Beyond the Pine (11 page)

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Authors: Kate Benson

BOOK: Beyond the Pine
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Chapter Eighteen

Asher

As I take in her words, the traitor tears that taint her ivory skin, I’m speechless. Unable to bear the space between us any longer, I take the final step that separates us, loving the feel of her chest flush with mine.

“Is that the truth, Riley?”

“Yes,” she whispers, the expression in her eyes falling somewhere between shame and relief.

As I bend to gently taste her lips, the thought of anyone else having her makes my stomach turn for reasons I’m not sure I totally understand.

Pulling away, I keep her face cradled in my hands, staring into her.

“What have you done, sugar?” I whisper, hating the crack in my voice as I force the words I’d had replaying in my mind since this morning. “If you feel this way, why did you agree to give yourself to another man, Riley?”

“I didn’t,” she admits with sad eyes, filling me with even more confusion.

“What are you talking about? The Reverend just said this morning...”

“Tobias didn’t ask me to marry him, Asher. It doesn’t work like that here.”

“What the hell do you mean he didn’t ask you, Riley?” I ask, my eyes narrowing. “Baby, you can’t go through with this. I won’t let Tobias force you to...”

“It’s not like that.”

“Then what is it, Riley? Because what it sounds like is this Tobias asshole is forcing you to...”

“It’s not his fault,” she cuts me off, quickly wiping away a tear she doesn’t want me to see. “Tobias is a good man, Asher. He hasn’t said as much, but I know he doesn’t want this, either. He’s only doing as he’s been taught,” she continues, shaking her head as she looks down, studying her hands.

“Taught by who?”

“The Reverend,” she admits. “He selects our spouses and I’ve been betrothed to Tobias, but we don’t love each other. I tried to express my concerns to the Reverend. I was sure he’d understand, empathize even, but it was no use, Asher. Not only did he tell me I was wrong to question the sanctity of his word, he punished me by taking away my calling.”

“That’s why you were reassigned to the infirmary? That’s the disagreement you had with the Reverend?”

Saying nothing, Riley slowly nods, releasing a low, heavy breath of exhaustion.

The uneasy feeling I’d had since the moment I arrived here finally seems to have substance. Still refusing to face me, I take in the subtle shake of her chest as she cries silently.

Never having been great with emotion, I’m surprised by the insatiable need to comfort her. Carefully, I cover her hand with mine, releasing a breath of relief as she slips her fingers into mine, squeezing slightly. When her tears slowly subside, I use my free hand to reach for her chin, gently pulling her gaze to mine.

“Riley,” I start, my voice low as I take in her tear-stained eyes as she looks up at me. “All those days we were here, alone...” I start, gently wiping her tears away as I watch her. “Why didn’t you tell me any of this?”

“I couldn’t,” she admits, shaking her head as her eyes stay locked on mine. “Sometimes, even though you know something’s wrong, you can’t help but be drawn to it,” she breathes, her eyes dancing over my features before they fall on my lips. “Sometimes the one thing you should stay away from is the one thing you want more than anything, even though you know you shouldn’t,” she confesses, her damp eyes staring into mine. “I shouldn’t have even come here today, Asher. I knew it even as my eyes fell on you when I arrived, I shouldn’t have come here.”

“So why did you?”

“Because I can’t stand the thought of you ever thinking you weren’t my first choice,” she breathes, her voice soft and full of a desperation neither of us have ever experienced. “Even as I stand here, condemned to live a life I don’t want, I couldn’t bear the thought of letting you believe that a life with you isn’t always going to be the one thing I lie awake every night, longing for, Asher.”

Her words leave me speechless for a moment, but only just.

“Riley...” I manage, letting my forehead rest against hers, the contact making her green eyes flutter shut for a moment before she gives them back, stunning me. “Why’d you let me fall for you if I can’t even have you?”

My admission causes her lips to part in surprise, her eyes trailing over mine as she seems to truly see me for the first time.

“You fell, too?”

“Riley,” I start, shaking my head in amazement that she doesn’t see it.
How can she not see that what I feel for her radiating is through every cell in my body?
“There’s nothing I wouldn’t do to have you.”

“I feel the same, Asher,” she whispers, her hand resting over my chest, just over my heart.

“I wish I could believe that, sugar.”

“Why can’t you?” she asks, looking hurt.

“Because if you felt this way, it wouldn’t matter what you’d been taught, Riley. You wouldn’t just lie down and take it,” I challenge, my chest constricting as I back away, turning my back to her in an effort to hide the anguish I’m sure is written all over my face. “If you wanted me the way I want you...”

“I do, Asher, but I’m powerless here. There’s nothing...”

“Yes, there is,” I cut her off, hating the helplessness swimming in her eyes as I take a step closer. “If you don’t want this, you fight back. You may not believe it, but you
are
the keeper of your fate, Riley. You want control? You don’t wait for it. You take what’s yours.”

“Asher, that’s not how it works here.”

“Says who? The Reverend?” I challenge, watching her lips move slightly before she stops the words lodged in her chest. “You know what you want?” I ask, watching her slowly begin to nod, her ragged breathing matching mine. “Then you fuckin’ take it, Riley.”

Riley

The space between us is virtually gone now, his strong, broad chest pressing against mine as he stares down at me.

His eyes, the same eyes I’d spent dreaming of since he first gave me his gaze, sparkle with a dangerous combination of lust and hurt, matching the feelings coursing through my veins.

“What are you waiting for, Riley?” he rasps, his hot breath falling over my lips, enticing me. “No one else is here. You’ve got nothing to be afraid of.”

“That’s not what scares me,” I whisper, the tugging sensation in the pit of my belly growing warmer, settling lower.

“Then what does?”

“Never having the only thing I’ve ever wanted to belong to,” I breathe.

In the same moment the confession leaves me, I grip Asher’s strong arms, desperately pressing my lips to his. The growl reverberating through his chest sends a jolt through me, further solidifying the need that’s been coursing through my veins since he arrived.

He meets me with the same desperation, the force in his kiss enough to have my back flush against the stall behind us.

The feel of his lips on mine, soft and full as they seduce my senses, intoxicates me.

His thick scruff under my fingertips, the taste of his mouth as his chest presses against the thin fabric of my dress, it hypnotizes me.

He grips my waist tight as I hold his lips close to mine, begging for an escape only he can provide.

As his lips finally leave mine, I’m left breathless. I feel empty until his mouth returns to my flesh, slowly trailing down my jaw.

The sensation of feeling his weight on me as I’m pressed against the hard, wooden stall has me craving more of him...
all of him
.

His name leaves my lips in a plea, begging him to never stop the delicious torture unlike anything I’ve ever known before.

“Riley,” he pants, his eyes finally returning to mine as we struggle to regain control of our breathing.

“Don’t stop,” I beg shamelessly. “Asher, please.”

He rests his palm on my neck, his touch sending a shiver through me as he gently meets my lips, his gaze never wavering from mine.

“What do you want, Riley?”

“To belong to you,” I admit shamelessly, returning his kiss as I slowly back into the empty stall behind us. “Even if it’s just once, meant only for this moment, Asher. I want to be yours.”

His chest is heaving as he takes me in, his eyes shifting into something carnal I’ve never seen, but instantly crave. He takes a step toward me, the pad of his thumb tracing my collarbone as he holds my gaze.

“Do you understand what that means?” he asks, the heat radiating off him indescribable. “What we’re doing is a sin in your world, Riley,” he husks. “Aren’t you worried about what might happen if you give yourself to me?”

I consider his words, my eyes roaming over him, studying his features, memorizing them for the millionth time.

As he stares down at me, awaiting my answer, my heart swells with emotion.

“If I’m to be condemned to a lackluster life, longing for what I never had,” I rasp low. “I want to at least know it was real, Asher. I want the sleepless nights I’ll spend awake thinking about you to be filled with what
was
, not what could have been,” I whisper, loving the feel of the pad of his thumb brushing away my tears. “Maybe I can’t control what becomes of me tomorrow, but I
can
control who I belong to today. You ask me if I’m worried what might happen if I give myself to you?” I breathe. “I think I’m more worried about what might happen if I don’t.”

Chapter Nineteen

Asher

As the words leave her lips, the last shred of control I have leaves me. Resting my palms at the base of her neck, I hold her in place, stealing the kiss intended only for this moment.

I taste her greedily, the soft whimper leaving her chest only fueling my need as I lift her, pressing her against the wall behind her.

I’ve wanted her so badly, for so long, there’s a part of me that questions if any of this is real at all. As I feel her hot breath washing over my skin, hear my name leave her lips as I taste her flesh, I let the doubt fall away, pooling at her feet as the thin fabric of her dress goes with it.

She stands before me, wearing nothing but a pair of white cotton panties. Wisps of her long, dark hair come loose, falling passed her shoulders and teasing her bare breasts.

I want nothing more than to fuck some sense into her, but she’s pure in ways I’m not sure I’m even capable of grasping.

Pure in ways I know I’ve never been, ways I’ll never deserve.

A stronger man would walk away.

I’ve got enough strength to be gentle, but not enough to deny either of us.

Lowering my hands from her neck, I pull my shirt over my head and kiss her deeply as I let the pad of my thumb gently graze her nipple. I savor in the way her body comes alive at my touch, I massage her tongue with mine as I grip her hip with my free hand. Squeezing her there slightly before my hand moves over her, cupping her ass as I deepen our kiss.

She starts out shy, unsure, but before long, she begins to let go, trusting me to take control as I swallow her quiet moans of pleasure. Pulling away slightly, I hold her eyes, patiently waiting for her silent approval as I slide my fingers under the cotton separating me from her. I take my time in worshipping her flesh, my tongue flicking over her breasts as I fall to my knees in front of her.

Slowly, I peel her panties down her thighs, savoring in her scent as I force my gaze to hers.

She stares down at me, her green eyes hooded with desire as I dip my tongue into her navel, a shiver moving through her. My eyes take her in fully for the first time, burning every curve, every line in her perfect, petite frame into my mind. As my eyes return to hers, crimson fills her cheeks as she shyly looks away.

“Don’t do that, sugar,” I husk, reaching up to cup her chin, pulling her eyes back to mine. “Riley, you’re breathtaking. You’re the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen.”

Her eyes soften with my words, words I’d said before but never truly meant until this moment. The gravity of that hits me and I swallow the lump in my throat.

I reach behind her, pulling a blanket from one of the hooks inside the stall and spread it out on the ground before reclaiming her eyes.

“Come here,” I whisper, pulling her down to me before gently laying her on the bed of hay beneath us.

I take her lips slowly before I explore her body with my tongue, committing the taste of her skin to memory. As I run my lips over her from hip to hip, I gently tease the thin tuft of hair between her thighs, the feel of her wetness on my fingers nearly my end.

Her eyes are on me as I bend to taste her, the combination of my tongue slipping inside and her sweet taste enough to pull a deep gasp from us both. I lap at her for as long as I can bear, getting her as ready as I can before I raise to my knees, meeting her hooded gaze.

We’re both panting...

Breathless as I watch her eyes dance over my bare chest, taking in the lines of ink covering my skin before they return to mine. Pushing my jeans down, I hover over her, the taste of her on my lips doing crazy things to my senses.

“Riley,” I husk, my eyes giving her one last chance to change her mind about this... about us.

“Would you do something for me?” she whispers, cutting my words short as she nervously searches my features.

“Anything, baby,” I promise, somehow surprised with how much I actually mean it.

“Even if it’s a lie,” she breathes, tracing my lips with her fingers before returning her eyes to mine. “Can you just say...”

“I love you, Riley,” I cut her off this time, my lips close enough to brush against hers as I hold her gaze.

“I love you,” she whispers, trying to hide the break in her voice as her lips quirk up slightly on either side.

Once I wipe her traitor tear away, I press my lips to hers, kissing her deeply as I begin to slide into her, never wavering my eyes from her sea of green.

I start slow, the feel of her stretching around my shaft stealing my breath as she clamps down on her full, lower lip. As I finally push into her completely, her eyebrows quirk together slightly in discomfort as a gasp escapes her heaving chest, her body showing slight resistance before the last bit of her innocence slips away around me.

“Shh...” I whisper against her lips, kissing her gently as I remain still, allowing her time to get used to the feel of me resting inside her. “I’m not gonna hurt you, sugar.”

Nodding slightly, she holds my eyes, releasing her lip as I begin to move. She’s so tight, I go slow at first, savoring the sensation of her walls gripping my cock as she clings to my arms. Her knees lift slightly, hugging my waist tight as she opens herself to me.

A staggered breath leaves her chest, taking hold of the last of my sanity and shredding it completely.

As I begin to take her, every cell in my body comes alive as it comes to know every curve, every shallow breath by heart. Gently resting one palm on her waist, the other falls above her shoulder, nestling into the thick hay beneath us. She deserves better than this stable, better than me, but that fact doesn’t deter me. Instead, I hold her eyes as I press my lips to hers, pouring the emotion I know I should have swallowed into her.

When her pain begins to give way to pleasure, I increase my pace, pulling an airy gasp from her lips.

My name leaves her mouth in a pant, gripping my arms as her head falls to the side, giving me access to the arch in her neck.

A strand of her dark hair sweeps over her bare shoulder, enamoring me as her skin begs me to taste it. I sweep my lips across the dip in her neck, flattening my tongue and running it up the arch. When I make it to her lobe, I suck gently, making her thick eyelashes flutter in pleasure, the vibration echoing from her chest.

“Asher...” she rasps, the feel of her hot breath washing over my chest pulling me in further.

I give my eyes to her, savoring in the way her dark eyebrows crinkle together slightly in the middle, her eyes falling closed on a soft moan.

Releasing a low hum from deep within my chest, I bend slightly, taking her pink nipple into my mouth once more as I slip my hand between us. Brushing the pad of my thumb over her swollen clit, jealous with the need to taste her again.

With a gasp, her green eyes pop open again as I stroke her, only to flutter closed again as she grows wetter around my cock.

Tracing her collarbone with my tongue, I work my way back up to her lips. The way she’s clenching around my shaft, I know it won’t be long until she’s reached her climax.

An odd combination between affectionate pride and selfish heartbreak courses through me. I want nothing more than to pleasure her, make her mine in ways no other man ever has or will again, but I know having her is only temporary.

Long before I’m ready to let her go, she’ll belong to someone else and our stolen time will be all that’s left of me and Riley.

That thought should be enough to have me running, leaving her and this place a distant memory as quickly as I can manage, but it doesn’t.

It only makes me crave her more.

And so I take her. I take her sighs, her heavy breaths. I take her deep and raspy moans of pleasure and I steal them for myself, vowing to keep them for as long as I can. I take the rasp in my name on her lips, savoring the timbre of her voice and I store it somewhere deep inside as she gives herself to me. I bury it in my soul, knowing it’s the only place I can ever keep her, the only place she’ll ever truly be mine. I take it and as she cries out, my name leaving her lips as a single tear slips down her cheek, I lock it inside, knowing in this moment, in this Godforsaken place that has become both my curse and my salvation, regardless of tomorrow...

Today, she was mine.

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