Beyond the Orange Moon (Mathews Family Book 2) (23 page)

“Hmm,” Ben breathed. “I’m sorry. This might be for the best, though. Have you thought about that?”

Dylan’s lips fell into a hard line as she thought for a minute. “Would you want me to be with someone else?” she eventually asked. “I mean, if something ever happened to you?”

Ben frowned. “Absolutely not. Never.”
 

“Ben! I’m being serious!”

“So am I, love.” Ben lifted his head and kissed her lips, then her neck. He left a trail of light kisses from her ear to her jaw, until he found her mouth again. He kissed her slowly and passionately before parting his lips and slipping his tongue into her sweet mouth.
 

“You’re changing the subject,” Dylan said against his lips.
 

Defeated, he pulled back. “I’d probably follow you around in a ghostly mist. I would want you to wait until you joined me wherever the hell people go when they die.”

Dylan slowly grinned. “As long as I could feel the mist.”

Ben reached down and wrapped her leg around him. “The mist would be all over you every second of every day.”

“If something happened to me, would you move on?”

Ben lowered his head and cringed. His heart stung with even the thought. The pain he had witnessed Charlie go through—his sunken expression and the death in his somehow tearless eyes—was enough for anyone in his presence to feel their own personal ache. Ben would never get the image of Charlie holding Jack in his arms as they had lowered Meredith’s casket into the ground out of his head. He was wrecked, the loss evident in his demeanor so tragic that even Ben had had a tough time keeping it together.
 

He shook his head slowly and kissed Dylan’s mouth again, an attempt at ending the conversation. This was not on his list of discussions, no matter how important it may or may not be.
 

Dylan pulled away from him. “You have no idea what you would do.”

Ben laid his head back down on her chest and listened to the comforting sound of her heartbeat. It was a rhythm he had memorized and a sound he couldn’t live without. He didn’t want to tell her the truth—Charlie’s truth—which was that he didn’t think he could move on; there was no happiness without Dylan.

But, again, Ben wasn’t like other people. Yes, if he were ever to lose her he would probably die a miserable old man.
 

When he still didn’t answer her, Dylan lifted his head in her hands and smiled. “I wouldn’t want you to be alone, just so you know. I couldn’t stand it if I knew you were alone and sad.”

“We’re never going to have to find out,” Ben said, cupping her face.
 

“You don’t know that, Ben.”

“Yes, I do.”

“Meredith wouldn’t want Charlie alone,” Dylan whispered. “She loved Charlie the way I love you.”

Ben watched as a tear escaped from Dylan’s eye. With one gentle finger, he wiped it away. “I can’t wait to grow old with you,” he said simply.

“Will you talk to Charlie?” She flashed him the expression that made him say yes to everything she asked of him. “Please?”
 

Hypnotized, Ben nodded. “You’re cheating,” he said with a grin.
 

Dylan gave him a coy smile and shrugged. “I am.”

“I’m going to have to make you pay for that,” he said, and lowered his lips to hers.
 

She groaned against his mouth as the kiss deepened, a sign that the conversation was over, thank God. He moved his hands to the hem of her shirt and pulled it up and off, tossing it to the floor. He slid on top of her and made love to her as he always did: lovingly, passionately, until they were both breathless in each other’s arms.
 

She was his home, his everything, and he would never belong anywhere else.

* * *

Thump, thump, thump
. “Dammit, Lucy! Open up this door!” Lydia’s angry voice echoed through the apartment while she pounded on the door.
 

Grace shuffled her pajama-clad body into Lucy’s bedroom and yawned. “Do you want to kick her ass or shall I?”

Thump, thump, thump
. “Lucy Marina Dalton!”

Ignoring Grace’s question, Lucy flipped over in her bed and stared out the window. The blinds were somewhat open, allowing a few beams of sunlight to illuminate the speckles of dust in her room.
 

“I guess that means I’ll be the one to strangle her,” Grace grumbled, and walked out.
 

Lucy listened to the door open and close. “Lydia, do the words night shift mean anything to you?” Grace asked angrily.
 

“Where is she?” Lydia yelled, disregarding Grace’s question.

“She’s in bed,” Grace said, yawning. “It ain’t pretty. She wouldn’t even let her mom inside yesterday. I had to talk Barbara out of calling the police. Good luck.”

“Lucy,” Lydia snapped from her doorway. “You can’t call in any more. And by
call in
, I mean text! A text, Lucy? Really?”

Lucy said nothing as she watched the particles of dust dance around her room. She really needed to clean … or shut her blinds tighter.
 

“You can’t keep leaving me with April. I’m going to kill her, Lucy, and she hardly even shows up!” Lydia stomped over to the bed and stood over Lucy’s crumpled body. “Do you hear me? I
need
you to come back to work. You had your week and now it’s time to put your big girl pants on and get back to life.”

Lucy’s eyes filled with tears and her chin began to quiver. She snuck a look up at Lydia, whose expression shifted from angry to sympathetic in an instant.
 

“Oh, Lucy,” Lydia said, and collapsed on the bed. Lydia laid her hand on Lucy’s shuddering back and patted it gently. “Honey, just tell him the truth.”

“I can’t,” Lucy said, and wiped a tear. “He’s healing and that will just take him right back there to that day. I can’t do that to him and I don’t want him to hate me.”

“So you’re just going to avoid him and hope it goes away?”

Lucy sat up and leaned back against her headboard. “Has he been in?”

Lydia frowned and shook her head slowly. “Has he called you?”

Lucy shook her head.
 

“Okay, there’s your answer. Now you can move on. You’re free and clear of all things Charlie Mathews.”
 

Lucy swiped at a tear. “For just a minute, I felt as though I was part of the family. They’re so loving and welcoming. All of them.”

Lydia pushed a piece of Lucy’s hair away from her wet face. “I’m sure they are, but they aren’t the only family on the planet that will welcome you with open arms. Cut your losses and move on.”

“I felt like I was sitting there and deceiving them all.” She groaned and tipped her head back, shifting her eyes to the ceiling. “Seriously, what are the odds? How in the world did this happen?”

“That you would fall head over heels for the widower involved in the worst thing you’ve ever seen?” Lydia exhaled and slid up to lie next to Lucy. “I don’t know.”

“I was starting to feel better. I just want to be happy. Is that so selfish of me?” She turned and looked at Lydia. She really wanted an answer, because she was all over the place in her mind.
 

Lydia shook her head. “Maybe he was starting to feel better, too. I don’t know. What I do know is that you never wanted to be a nurse. What you saw was terrible, yes, but it also gave you the strength to walk away. It led you down a different path.”

“Oh, yes. The bright, shiny path that led me to be a barista in my cousin’s café,” Lucy said with a chuckle. She wiped away another falling tear. “I’m sorry. I do appreciate the job.”

“You’re on your way to something more than working for me. It’s right there.” Lydia smiled. “Can’t you feel it? That never would have happened if you hadn’t gone through all of this.”

“It came at Charlie’s expense.” Lucy wiped away more tears. “That’s not what I wanted.”

“Oh, so now you control the universe?” Lydia patted Lucy on the leg. “You are not the cause of what happened to Charlie’s wife. Why not try and take a little good from it?”

Lucy snuck another look at Lydia, and had to smile. She always had a way of turning things around. Sometimes she made it sound so simple. It was a wonder she had gotten as far as she did in life, but maybe that was the trick: Live, don’t think, just be.
 

“You’re getting all hippie on me,” Lucy said, and nudged her cousin with her shoulder. “So, you’re saying that everything has its reasons?”

Lydia nodded firmly. “Exactly. Find the good in everything. Cry, be sad, but don’t do this, Lucy. Don’t sink back into that hole.”
 

“What do I do about Charlie?” Lucy asked, on the verge of more tears.
 

“Well, if you didn’t scare the hell out of him by freaking out at his house …” She gave Lucy a little smirk. “Why does he even need to know? I guess I just don’t see why you have to tell him.”

Shocked, Lucy widened her eyes. “How could I not tell him something like that?”

Lydia shrugged. “What will that information do, exactly? I just don’t see the point.”

“It will hang over my head forever, Lydia. That’s what it will
do
. That’s so deceitful.”

“How? Give me a reason.”

“Because … it’s just … just wrong!”
 

“If you say so.” Lydia looked away and stared into space. After a few moments of silence, she asked, “Lucy, how long has it been since you’ve dusted in here?”

Lucy tossed a pillow in her face. “It’s been a while,” she admitted, and began to laugh.
 

“Gross. These dust particles are growing faces.” Lydia laughed, and yelled, “They’re alive!”

“Stop,” Lucy demanded through a laugh that made her face hurt, in a good way.
 

Lydia’s smile faded from her lips. “Please tell me you’re coming back to work. If you don’t, I’m going to kill April. I’ll go to prison and it will be your fault. I don’t think your conscience can take much more.”

Lucy narrowed her eyes and gave Lydia the death stare.
 

“Too soon?”
 

“Too soon.”

“Are you coming back to work? Everyone misses your cupcakes. Customers have been asking for them.”

“Seriously?”

Lydia raised her left hand in the air, but pulled it down quickly. “I would’ve made a terrible boy scout.” She then raised her right hand and winked. “Honest truth.”

Lucy flashed a thankful smile at her cousin. “I’ll be there in the morning.”

* * *

On Sunday afternoon, Charlie raised an eyebrow at Ben, who sucked down water as he took in the sight of Ollie's Bar. Charlie wondered if he was remembering the last time he was in this bar when he punched Michael right in the face for getting too close to Dylan. That was the night they had all learned about Ben and Dylan’s little love affair. Now, it seemed like a completely different life. To add to it all, it was strange to be with Ben at a bar while he drank water, but it was a nice change.
 

Alcohol and Ben never really mixed well. It was the tool he’d used to drown his demons. And, man, did Ben have some demons. He’d had to lose everything to figure that out, but hey, he made it.
 

“Why did you want to come here?” Charlie asked him. “We could’ve gone anywhere.”

Ben shot Charlie a look and smirked. “I just felt like coming to Ollie’s, I guess.”

“Uh huh.” Charlie looked around the bar, wondering if Michael would come in. That would be the ultimate test. Ben always acted so nonchalant about the whole Dylan-Michael debacle, but it wasn’t in his face all the time now that they lived on the other side of the country, either.
 

“So,” Ben began. “What’s new, brother?”

Charlie leaned back in his stool and took a sip from his beer. “Get it out,
brother
. You think I don’t know my sister made you bring me out today? She practically wrestled Jack from my arms and pushed me out the door with one shoe on.”

Ben shrugged and grinned. “What can I say? She asks, I jump.”

“That’s because you’re whipped to all hell,” Charlie responded quickly. “Seriously, get your man card out and put your foot down.”

Ben shook his head. “No, thank you. I’m perfectly happy with her holding my man card.”

Charlie nearly spit out his beer. “You get worse every time I see you.”

“Yeah, yeah,” Ben said with a laugh. “I know. Anyway, let’s talk cupcakes.”

“Fuck, Ben,” Charlie groaned, and turned his attention to the hockey game on one of the screens above him.
 

This was not a welcome conversation, but Ben would push because Dylan asked him to. For two people who hated meddling as much as they did, those two sure were up in his business.
 

Ben ignored Charlie’s reaction, of course, and pushed forward. “I’m just saying that any woman who can turn a buffalo wing into a cupcake is worth keeping.”

“Hugh and Jonah have big mouths,” Charlie said, and twirled his wedding ring absentmindedly.