Beyond Reason (20 page)

Ayden took a step forward and glanced at the table and then back at me, his expression falling as he looked into my eyes. I saw a twitch along his jaw as he watched Austin and then Stephanie—together.

“Um, this is Austin,” I said, motioning toward Austin. “And this is Ayden, my friend.”

“This is one of the friends that hunted Austin down?” Stephanie looked completely enthralled with Ayden and my stomach knotted.

“Nice to meet you,” Austin replied, barely glancing at Ayden.

“Same. And you are?” Ayden’s gaze was fixed on Stephanie.

“I’m one of Austin’s friends. I just ran into him, and we all decided to have lunch together.”

“Really. A group decision?” Ayden looked at me, knowing I was anything but pleased with Stephanie’s added presence.

But what could I do?

“Are you going up again?” Sammie asked me. I could tell she felt the tension between us all as well. So why was everyone else clueing into this predicament other than Austin. “You could ride along with us.”

I nodded. “You know, that sounds like a wonderful idea. You don’t mind if I’m a third wheel?”

“You’re not a third wheel,” Sammie replied, giving me a hug.

Stephanie sat with a smug expression on her lips as Austin stared at me, completely bewildered.

“Have fun,” I said, grabbing the lily and tucking it back into my jacket. “And I’ll be sure to report back about the condition of the flower.”

I turned around and started through the restaurant with Ayden and Sammie when I heard Austin’s voice calling after me.

“You don’t have to go to him,” Ayden said, his voice low.

Sammie glanced up at Ayden and then back at me. “It’s true,” she replied. “What he pulled seems pretty shitty.”

I glanced behind me and saw Austin sitting there by himself. Stephanie was nowhere to be seen, and suddenly I felt like I was back in high school. Maybe I wasn’t the only one stuck in life.

He held up a hand and gave a slight wave and apologetic smile, and I stopped. What was I doing?

“Guys, go ahead. I don’t want to ruin your fun and I’d like to hear what he has to say,” I replied, not looking at Ayden.

Sammie gave me a sympathetic smile, which made me feel completely pathetic as I turned and walked back toward Austin.

I pulled out the chair and sat down, staring at Stephanie’s empty seat. “So where’d your friend go?”

“I asked her to take off, and I’m so sorry for being such an ass,” he replied.

“Okay, so are you now reverting back to the Austin from this morning because the new one you just showed wore me out.”

“I deserve that. I know.”

“You deserve more than that.”

“True.”

“What is your deal?” I asked, pulling out the flower and placing it on the table.

“I don’t do relationships.”

“Yeah, I think your girlfriend-non-girlfriend sent that message loud and clear. And if you’ll remember, I don’t either.”

He reached his hand across the table and grabbed mine. “Listen. No more tricks like that. No more games. I promise what you see is what you’ll get. I don’t know what came over me. And honestly, she is just a friend. There’s nothing romantic with her.”

“Keep telling yourself that,” I replied.

“I don’t have feelings for her.”

Was that supposed to make me feel better? Instead, it made me feel sorry for her.

“Just like I told her, it’s none of my business. Your relationships are none of my business. If you run into any more
friends
on the mountain, you don’t have to chase them away. I may not choose to spend my vacation hanging out with strangers, but I really don’t care. You’ve lowered my expectations tremendously during lunch today, which is exactly what I needed.”

The look in Austin’s eyes was like a wounded animal, and my chest tightened as I watched him. The complete arrogance from only minutes before was completely wiped away as he watched me.

“I deserve that. Listen, I’m sorry. This is just a lot for me to handle. I thought I was fine with seeing you again, but it’s shaking up all of the old resentments and feelings that I wasn’t expecting. All I can do is apologize and hope you’ll let me show you the real me.”

“I keep waiting for that to happen, but you keep changing it up on me,” I laughed nervously. “And I honestly don’t think I can keep up any longer.”

“From this moment on, no games. I promise. Just trust me. I don’t want you leaving Utah thinking I’m a complete creep,” he continued.

“Just a partial creep?”

“No creep at all.”

“We’ll see about that,” I laughed, as I grabbed the flower and stood up. “Well, let’s get back on the hill so that I don’t forget what you’ve taught me.”

He nodded, standing up and making his way over to where I was, and he slid his hand along my waist, and I kind of liked it. Even with everything.

“At least, I’m learning some good snowboarding techniques,” I said, as we walked outside.

“I’m more than just a snowboard instructor,” he said, grabbing his board off the stand.

“Only time will tell, my friend,” I teased. The uneasiness from before slowly dissipated as we walked to the mid-mountain ski lift. I anchored my butt on the seat as we were whisked up the mountain.

“I will make it off the lift this time,” I vowed.

“Only time will tell,” he replied.

I rolled my eyes at him and wondered if I was making things a bigger deal than they were. What was I expecting him to do? Yell at Stephanie and make a scene?

He wrapped his arm around my shoulder and pulled me into him as I watched the hillside glide by. I couldn’t deny the familiar sensation that his embrace aroused, or how his body felt against mine. Maybe, that was what was holding me to an idea that there was something more behind his charades. But matters of the heart were never easy, and the same man that helped me through everything years ago was still inside. I just had to dig him out and make him stay.

His lips pressed against my knit cap, and I felt the slightest of kisses on top my head as we came to the unloading area. He released his arm from me and gave me a quick nod.

“You’ve got this,” he said, standing up as his board hit the snow.

I quickly followed and guided my board down the tiny hill and out of the way, landing next to him with great satisfaction and relief.

“Nicely done.” He grinned and adjusted his goggles.

“Thank you. It’s because of your superb teaching skills.”

His eyes met mine, and I didn’t detect any of the game playing I’d experienced earlier.

“Ready?” he asked.

I nodded and slowly followed him across and down the mountain, working on stopping and turning. Every so often, he would stop and wait for me or give me pointers, but I could definitely tell I had improved tremendously. He flagged me over to a snack bar and I followed. We’d been on the mountain another couple hours and I’d already mustered up quite the appetite again. Quickly releasing my feet from my board, I followed him over to the line.

“I’m buying,” I said, jumping in front of him. “What do you want?”

“I’ll take a polish dog and tots.” His smile anchored me in place as I remembered back to the many times before when that same smile stopped me in my tracks, made me forget myself and my problems.

“Do you remember that one time we went camping?” I asked.

“When we almost floated away in our tent? Yeah. Hard to forget,” he laughed, as I placed our order and paid.

His laughter sounded right—not like earlier today—and I hoped I could make it last this time. I liked this side of Austin. It was the Austin I remembered.

I walked over to grab some napkins and was pleasantly surprised to feel Austin’s arms wrap around me and tug me into him.

“The best part of camping was getting to spend time with you,” he whispered.

“Even though all of our stuff was drenched, you didn’t want to go home,” I laughed. “You put our things in the car with the heater on full blast to dry the stuff out, rather than just call it quits.”

“It was worth it, wasn’t it?” he asked, as he spun me around in his arms.

I looked up into his eyes and nodded. “Yeah. That was a special time.”

I felt the familiar ache in my chest as my mind drifted to the memories I had spent so much time forcing out. I ruined what we once had and now expected things to fall magically into place? Who was I kidding?

“Remember when we went hiking and got lost?” I teased.

“We weren’t actually lost,” he confessed.

“What do you mean? We went in circles like three times.”

“That’s because I kept telling you to go the wrong way so we could spend a little more time together.”

“Are you serious?” I smacked him just as our order was called.

“Take a seat and I’ll go grab everything,” he said, grinning.

And for once, this felt right between us. But I couldn’t help but wonder if that was enough? Was having a sense of history enough to anchor two lives together?

“Small world,” Stephanie’s voice interrupted my peace as she plunked down in front of me.

All I did was sigh as I glanced over at Austin. “So it looked like you two were getting cozy. I thought that wasn’t what this was about.” Her brows furrowed as she waited for a response.

I didn’t say a word, but watched as Austin quietly walked up behind her.

“He’s not ready for a relationship. Anyone who meets him knows that. But I’ll do my damndest to be sure I’m the one there when he’s ready. You got that?”

“Is that so, Steph?” Austin’s voice shocked her back to reality. “I had no idea I was so easy to read.”

He placed the tray on the table and stood next to me. “I think it’s time for you to get back on your board before you make even more of a fool of yourself.”

“You didn’t hear what she said to me first,” she hissed, standing up so quickly the tots tipped over on the tray. I quickly rewound what just transpired and realized I hadn’t said anything. But it wasn’t worth giving her a rebuttal.

“It doesn’t really matter what she said to you. I heard enough.” His eyes fell to mine, and I realized the games had finally ended.

“So is it everything and more?” Ayden teased, as everyone else settled in the kitchen, laughing and talking over one another, while Ayden and I were setting the table for dinner. I hadn’t expected that line of questioning, joke or not. I glanced up at him and grinned.

“Things feel really…” I stopped myself.

What did things feel? Familiar and comforting, possibly? Not out of this world, but that wouldn’t be very realistic…

“Things are great,” I said, placing a fork at the head of the table.

Ayden stopped moving along the table and his eyes steadied on mine. “I wasn’t sure with everything this afternoon—”

“You mean everyone?” I laughed. “Yeah, that wasn’t the highlight of my day. But things got tremendously better after she left.”

Ayden’s jaw tightened as he dropped his gaze. “How so?”

“He apologized, and when she reappeared again on the mountain, he stuck up for me.” Once I uttered the words, I felt completely embarrassed. That really wasn’t that praiseworthy of behavior. “Anyway, he’s been pretty honest with me, and I’m surprised he’s even talking to me. I’m just taking things one step at a time and enjoying his company. Sooo, that’s the Austin update.” I felt completely awkward talking to Ayden about today’s events, and I wasn’t sure if it was because he could see through me or if I felt judged, which was something we both promised we wouldn’t do.

“And you’re enjoying his company?” Ayden’s voice was husky as he shifted the place setting.

“Yeah. Very much so.”

“Lasagna, baked ziti, hot dogs, and potato salad coming up,” Gabby’s voice rang out as she carried a large dish into the eating area.

I started laughing. “Hot dogs and potato salad?”

“Sorry. It’s me,” Sammie said, grinning and raising her hand as she walked into the eating area. “My appetite’s been off recently.”