Beyond Moonlight (2 page)

“Shane, it’s okay. I want this. I need to feel like I belong to you again. Those few short months, when you and I were together…nothing else in my life has ever felt that real.”

“No. Nothing. We do belong to each other. That’s why it always felt off when we tried it with someone else.”

Jesse smiled, that sweet, gorgeous, not-Kayden-Berlin-at-all smile. Shane’s heart thumped. It was like going back in time. He leaned forward and kissed Jesse, eyes closed, and could swear he smelled his old room, blueberry candles, old socks, and the dusty late summer air. It was summer when he and Jesse fell in love. Maybe it was fate that it happened to be summer when they found each other again.

Jesse spread his perfect thighs and pulled Shane between them. Shane went willingly, leaning on his elbows to kiss and taste. The skin of Jesse’s neck was soft and sweet and clean. His lips parted slowly, letting Shane in. It was a new kind of kiss. Not like when they were kids and Jesse was shy, allowing Shane to take control. Not like in Chicago either, when he was dominant and angry. They were equals. Together.

“You feel good,” Jesse whispered. He pushed his hips up against Shane’s.

“So do you.” Shane wanted to tell Jesse he loved him again, that he’d never leave him, but it would be too much, right? Too overwhelming. So he didn’t. He just kissed the man he’d barely survived without for way too long and soaked in the feel of his touch.

“I want your fingers in me,” Jesse moaned. “You have no idea how long I’ve been dreaming about it.”

“Oh, God. That night. I wanted you so bad, Jess.” Until the night with him and Jesse back in Chicago a few weeks ago, it had been the most purely erotic moment of Shane’s life.

“I wanted you too.” Jesse rolled to his stomach. “Just…now. Please?”

“Yeah. But first…I wanted to do this when we were kids. I just hadn’t before and I wasn’t sure what to do.” Shane leaned over and ran his tongue up the perfect round curve of Jesse’s ass. Jesse moaned in anticipation. “You want it?” Shane asked tentatively.

“Are you kidding?” Jesse answered with a quiet choked laugh. He tilted his hips up into Shane’s searching touch. “
Yes.
”

Shane leaned over and kissed the crease where Jesse’s ass met the top of his thigh. “So soft.” Shane rubbed his lips along Jesse’s skin. It felt like velvet, smooth and covered with little tiny hairs that tickled his lips. He bit experimentally on the inside of one of Jesse’s cheeks, then separated them and placed a nuzzling kiss right on the entrance to Jesse’s body. Jesse moaned and shivered.

“Can’t wait to taste you,” Shane murmured, almost to himself, then he took one long initial taste, swirling his tongue around Jesse’s hole and pushing just a little at the muscles to get them loosened up. Shane trembled at the heat, at the knowledge that it was
Jesse
 he had his mouth on. Jesse, who was clean, warm, sexy, and all his.

“Oh, 
fuck
,” Jesse moaned. “That’s incredible.”

“You want some more?” Shane teased with a smile. All he got in return was a needy little whimper hot enough to almost make him come. He delved back in and tasted some more, licking, kissing, and pulling Jesse’s cheeks apart so he could get closer, more, everything he wanted. Jesse was losing control beneath him, writhing, whimpering, trying to get as close to Shane’s mouth as he could.

“Shane…fingers. 
Please.
 I need it.”

Shane choked out a moan and traveled up Jesse’s back, dropping kisses and bites all along his spine. His fingers rested where his tongue had been, no pressure unless Jesse wanted it. He did. Jesse pushed back against Shane’s fingers hard.

“Inside,” he moaned.

“Lemme get some lube, baby. I don’t want to hurt you.” Shane wanted inside so damn bad, but he had to take it slow, remember every single moment.

“Okay,” Jesse agreed. He smiled. “You called me baby. I missed that so much.”

“Me too.” Shane clicked open the lube and drizzled it on his fingers. Then he knelt over Jesse and brought his hand to the entrance of Jesse’s body before leaning over to suck at his neck. “So tight,” he whispered. “I can’t wait to feel you.”

Jesse growled. “Inside, Shane. 
Now
.”

“Like this?” Shane pushed in slowly with two long fingers. 
Holy fucking hell.
 Jesse was so tight and hot and he was going to feel so amazing around Shane’s cock. But not yet. Not until he was begging for it. Until then, he would suck on Jesse’s neck and listen to those moans and whimpers that were a thousand times better than any porn, and,
fuck
, keep his fingers buried deep and rubbing Jesse in all the right places…like riiiight there.

“Holy 
Jesus
.” Jesse froze. “Stop before I come, babe.” Shane didn’t listen. He grinned and rubbed at Jesse’s prostate again and reveled in low heated screams. “Oh, God, stop, 
stop—
no, don’t stop, that’s so fucking good.”

Shane added a third finger and let Jesse fuck himself on them until he was shivering and whimpering, flushed and covered in a sheen of sweat.

“You ready for me now?” Shane whispered, bathing Jesse’s ear with his breath. Jesse shuddered hard and froze. “Jess?”

“
Wait
…trying not to come.” He stayed there, still, for a good thirty seconds. “Okay. I’m good.”

Shane slid his fingers out and let Jesse fall onto his back. “Why didn’t you let it go, baby? I’d have liked the challenge of making you come again.” He grinned down at Jesse and leaned over to kiss him.

“I just wanted you to be in me when it happened.” Jesse reached above his head to the nightstand where the condoms were. He ripped one off and tore it open. Shane went to take the condom, but Jesse held it. “Let me put it on you.”

It took a lot of jaw clenching and raw willpower to stay still while Jesse slowly rolled the latex down his super sensitive length. It took even more to watch Jesse drizzle lube on his cock and rub it in with this sexy as hell, naughty smile on his face.

“Come here and fuck me,” he finally said. “I’ve been waiting for this moment for way too long.”

Shane slung one of Jesse’s legs over his elbow and leaned closer. “Me too, Jess. I’ve been waiting forever. I love you.”

“Love you too—” Jesse gasped and arched his back as Shane sank into him. “
Yes
,” he hissed. He dug his free heel into the bed and lifted into Shane’s stroke.

Shane let Jesse’s leg slide off his arm so he could put his elbows on the bed by Jesse’s face and kiss him. No matter how amazing the rest of it felt, kissing was by far the best. Jesse’s seeking tongue, the taste of him, the way he breathed hard on Shane’s mouth. It was so perfect.

“I don’t know how I lived without you,” he murmured.

“Barely,” Jesse sighed in return. “Me too. I’m so yours. Oh, fuck, babe, right there. 
Ohh
.”

Jesse convulsed and tightened on his cock. Shane sat back onto his heels and spread his legs so Jesse’s thighs were splayed over his, ass bared, dripping cock right there for Shane to play with.

“You’re so fucking sexy,” Shane moaned. He ran his hand up the middle of Jesse’s body—cock, chest, a moment at his neck, before returning to feel the thump of his heart. Jesse covered Shane’s hand with his and threaded their fingers together. He undulated on the bed, forcing Shane’s dick as deep as it could go.

“Love this…love you.” Jesse’s voice trembled. He pulled Shane’s hand to his mouth and kissed his palm. They smiled at each other then, small intimate smiles that said everything they’d yet to say.

We’re in this forever, Jess. You and me.

Shane dragged his hand back down Jesse’s chest and wrapped it around his throbbing cock. He started stroking, pulling in time with the rhythm of his hips, aiming for Jesse’s prostate with his cock. He wanted to watch his Jess fall apart.

“Shane, I’m gonna come.” Jesse sounded panicked, pleasure drenched, like he was coming apart at the seams.

“I want you to come, baby. I wanna see it. Let it go.”

Jesse froze, and then came with a wail, squeezing Shane’s cock and splattering his chest with release. “
O-oohh
.”

Shane watched in awe, trying to hold back himself. Then Jesse squeezed his cock one more time and it was too late. He lost it, in the heat of Jesse’s body, until he was trembling and still and slumped over just a little. Jesse sat up and ran a hand up Shane’s body until his arm curled around Shane’s neck and they were kissing. Their bodies were still connected. Shane didn’t want it to end.

“It was better,” Jesse whispered between kisses.

“Hmm?”

“I’ve been imagining it for years, what it would be like between us if we were together again, for real. It was so much better.” Jesse’s voice sounded thick, like it was hard to push the words out.

All Shane could do was nod because there really were no words.

It was perfect.

.: Affirmation :.

“Hmm…something’s not quite right yet. Play it one more time.”

Shane nodded and replayed the chords that Jesse had asked for, picking at the strings of his acoustic guitar with the type of easy skill born from years of practice. They’d been lounging in the living room of his condo all afternoon, working on one of the tracks for their upcoming acoustic album, an array of snacks spread out on the coffee table between them. After several run-throughs, he knew the chords so well he could’ve probably played them in his sleep. So instead of focusing on the guitar, he watched Jesse’s face as Jesse watched him.
 

Jesse was on the couch across from him, his back to the floor-to-ceiling windows that overlooked the city. Much like when they were kids, he sat cross-legged with a notebook resting on his knee. As he listened, he chewed thoughtfully on his lower lip, his head cocked to the side, fingers toying idly with the pen he’d been using to take notes.

The pose was so familiar Shane couldn’t help but grin. Sometimes he still had a hard time believing that Jesse had managed to fool him all those months they were on tour. Perception was a funny thing. He’d never expected to see Jesse again. Even though looking back now Shane could easily see all of the clues he’d somehow missed when he and Kayden first met—the mannerisms, that smile, the voice that to this day gave him chills—at the time he’d been so totally fucking oblivious. It almost made him wish he could go back and slap himself. How could he not have realized? In hindsight it seemed so very obvious.
 

Aside from Jesse and Kayden, no one else had ever stirred any
real
interest in him. That in itself should’ve been his biggest clue. But even despite the fact that Kayden’s true identity had come as such a shock during that concert back in Chicago, Shane was pretty sure on some deeper, basic level his heart had always known.
 

 
“Maybe we should repeat it a fourth time,” Jesse said when Shane finished playing. He set his notebook aside and reached for his own guitar. “And then maybe if we switch up the bridge a little bit…”

Shane’s grin widened as Jesse strummed a few chords and then paused to scribble something in his notebook, his eyebrows furrowed in concentration. Sometimes there were these little moments that took him back to when they were kids and spent countless hours locked away in Jesse’s room, just talking and playing and listening to music. Shane could almost see a teenage Jesse in his head, doing that same exact thing and wearing that same exact expression, except with his glasses perched low on the bridge of his nose. Now that Jesse looked so different, the memory was kind of bittersweet.
 

Jesse wasn’t wearing his contacts, which these days he only used to change his eye color anyway. Instead of being sea green, his eyes were back to that gorgeous steel gray color Shane had always loved. His hair was still Kayden’s icy blond, and while Shane liked it, he did wonder how Jesse had put up with maintaining it for so long. For Shane, the constant trips to the stylist would’ve gotten old
really
quick. But, then, he’d never spent all that much time on his own personal appearance. Outside of his normal shave and shower routine, his only real concession to vanity was the occasional application of eyeliner and the rare Dior shopping spree.

Not that he’d ever complain about Jesse’s new routine. The blond was nice, though he did prefer Jesse with darker hair, but it wasn’t the hair on his head that mattered to Shane—it was the lack of hair everywhere else. Jesse kept his entire body free of hair and silky smooth. In the past Shane hadn’t cared about that kind of thing one way or the other, but with Jesse just the idea of all that sleek, bare skin sent a shiver of heat straight to his groin.

Shane set his own guitar aside and leaned back against the couch, trying to ignore the telltale bulge in his jeans. God, how was it possible that after two months of nearly constant sex he still wanted Jesse so badly? They’d been off tour for a few weeks, and barring a short trip to London for Jesse to collect some more of his belongings, they hadn’t been apart since. If it were up to Shane, they never would again. He loved having Jesse with him all the time, falling asleep together, playing music, making love. The last leg of the tour, after that concert at Madison Square Garden, had been like a fantasy. Part of him still expected that any second he’d wake up and it would’ve all been a dream.

He wanted Jesse with him every minute of every day. Shane knew that was unrealistic—there would be times when Moonlight was busy in the studio, or touring overseas, and vice versa—but as long as he knew Jesse was coming home to him after, he could deal with those separations. And when he himself wasn’t busy with Luck, well, that was simple. Wherever Jesse went, Shane would follow. For the rest of his life he would follow, because now that he had Jesse back, there was no way in hell he was ever letting go.

“I think I’ve got it!” Jesse’s face lit up with that dazzling, sweet, familiar smile. Shane’s chest almost ached at the sight of it.
Goddamn.
Even though he was lucky enough to have that same smile bestowed on him multiple times a day, it still had the power to take his breath away. “Listen to this.”