Beyond Midnight (22 page)

They were very close.
Oh, I
'
m impressed, all right,
she wanted to say.
With your smile if not your chivalry.

Suddenly he cocked his head and said,
"
Are you sure you don
'
t wear
Enchantra?
"

"
You can
'
t possibly smell it again,
"
she said, begging the question. She began walking quickly toward the restaurant
'
s side entrance.

Falling in with her, he said,
"
I don
'
t smell it, exactly. But—laugh if you must—I
'
m finding this undeniable
aura
about you. Of
Enchantra.
"
He shrugged and said,
"
You must remind me of their ads or something. I expect they use a raven-haired beauty like you.
"

Raven-haired! Beauty! What could she say to a remark like that? Nothing. She let the wave of pleasure that had rolled across her nerve endings recede, and then she spoke.
"
I hope Katie is enjoying herself in
Switzerland
,
"
she said, determined to keep the conversation tax deductible.

She watched him in profile as his brow creased again. He compressed his lips and shook his head uncertainly.
"
She doesn
'
t sound happy when I talk to her. Three-year
-
olds run hot and cold on telephones, I know. But in general, I think maybe
Zurich
was a mistake.
"

"
What does Peaches say?
"
Helen asked as she stepped inside the restaurant ahead of him.

"
Ah. Peaches. She wasn
'
t crazy about the idea in the first place. I plan to give her a big, fat bonus when—
"

A hostess approached with a smile.
"
Two for dinner?
"

All thoughts of a simple piece of pie and coffee seemed to go by the board. Suddenly Byrne was starved, and so was she. They had no reservations and the restaurant side was crowded, but they were in luck: A table for one could be made into a table for two. They eased their way behind the hostess through the pub section and were seated in a dark snug corner with a view of the wharves through the mullioned windows. A waitress came by to replace a flickering candle inside its amber hobnailed globe and promised to return with menus.

More than ever, it was feeling like a date. Helen glanced into Byrne
'
s sea blue eyes, then out at the darkening sky above the harbor, before returning again to his comfortable smile with an awkward one of her own. He seemed perfectly normal. She, on the other hand, felt as self-conscious as hell.

She pressed forward with her plan to take a tax deduction.
"
You were saying about Peaches and Katie?
"

Some of the smile left his face as he said,
"
I was wrong about the cousins. The good news is their English is decent. The bad news is they
'
re boys, and older than Katie. They
'
ve pretty much ignored her.
"

"
And Katie
'
s grandmother?
"

"
Just the opposite—she
'
s spoiling Katie rotten. Candy, presents, indulgences—hell, that
'
s my job,
"
he quipped.
"
It
'
s a strain on Peaches, as you can imagine. She doesn
'
t say so, of course; you have to read between the lines. She
'
s in an awkward position. She
'
s not Katie
'
s mother, after all. And my mother-in-law is a big believer in blood being thicker than water.
"

"
And you aren
'
t?
"

He thought about it for a moment.
"
On balance,
"
he said carefully,
"
I think kids belong wherever the most love is. A parent
'
s love is a wonderful thing; but it
'
s not the only thing.
"

His voice was sad and pensive and unsure. Helen had to wonder whether he felt truly enlightened or was just rationalizing. He did love that career, after all.

"
You have lots of faith in Peaches, then.
"

The waitress brought wine, which he had wanted and Helen had not; he sipped it appraisingly, then answered her question.
"
It was Linda who had all the faith. She and Peaches were uncannily close. I
'
ve never seen two women hit it off like that.
"

"
Really. How long had they known one another?
"

"
Let me see. I guess, about three and a half years. They met when Linda was pregnant with Katie. Peaches was Linda
'
s Lamaze partner, in fact,
"
he said, coloring.

Helen wasn
'
t fast enough t
o hide a double take. "I know,
I know, I should
'
ve been
there," he acknowledged. "But
I was getting the Columbu
s Fund up to speed: seven days
a week, eighteen hours a d
ay. I wanted Linda to hold off
on starting a family, but she—
"

He smiled ruefully at the memory.
"
She had a mind of her own,
"
he said softly.
"
And I
'
m glad, because otherwise I wouldn
'
t have Katie now.
"

But you don
'
t have her, knucklehead,
Helen wanted to say.
Your mother-in-law does.

Still, the deed was done and his daughter would soon be home, so Helen settled for saying,
"
Katie
'
s going to blossom at The Open Door. I hope you
'
ll be there to see it happen; it
'
s one of life
'
s more joyful miracles.
"

It was a warning shot across his bow. Helen didn
'
t want him thinking that he could dump Katie off at The Open Door and go back to moving money from here to there and back again without another care in the world. Single fathers didn
'
t get to do things like that.

He lifted one eyebrow.
"
You don
'
t think much of me, do you?
"

Now it was her turn to flush.
"
I didn
'
t say that. You seem concerned, if a little at sea.
"

The waitress arrived before he got a chance to respond. After she left with identical orders of chicken breast in raspberry vinaigrette, he said,
"
Let me be blunt. I haven
'
t been a hands-on father, partly because Linda never forced me to. She was perfectly happy, with Peaches
'
s help, to do the parenting on her own.

"
All right,
"
he corrected,
"
maybe not perfectly happy. We were fighting a lot over my absences at the end
... fighting over everything, ac
tually," he muttered as he fiddl
ed with his bread knife.

He stared out the window, and it seemed to Helen that he was somewhere else alt
ogether. "There was increasing
hostility. We didn
'
t seem able to communicate at all. I thought it was about Katie, but
it wasn't. It was about Linda
or me
...
or both of us. I don
'
t know. We just lost it. In the space of a few months, we just
..
. lost it,
"
he said with a bleak little sigh.
"
It happened so fast. All of it.
"

Caught completely off guard by his candor, Helen made a big deal of buttering her roll. She had no idea what to say. He seemed to want to talk, not about Katie so much as about Linda. It was natural, of course. He was bereaved and Peaches, his sounding board, was in
Zurich
.

Helen felt obliged to say something.
"
No one is ever really prepared for the death of someone close.
"
It sounded so t
ri
te.

He swung his gaze back to her.
"
Are you married, or divorced?
"
he asked, implying that there were only those two choices.

"
Neither
.
Like you, widowed.
"

He looked bewildered, as if she
'
d accused him of joining a cult.
"
Widowed.
It
'
s a funny word. I don
'
t feel widowed. I feel as if Linda
'
s just gone off in a snit. That she
'
ll be back and we
'
ll hash it all out. The end was so
..
. God. Brutal.
"

He looked up at Helen, genuine pain in his eyes.
"
We hadn
'
t been speaking for three days before
...."

Three days. Helen had hardly gone three hours in anger at Hank.
"
That makes it much worse, then,
"
she conceded.

"
If I could only have the days back!
"
he said fiercely. Then he focused on Helen once again, with an intensity that left her drained.
"
How did you deal with it? Was it a hard loss?
"

His question, so blunt, so naive, took her breath away.
"
Very,
"
she said.

"
Was it unexpected?
"

She didn
'
t like this at all. He was a fellow sufferer—but she didn
'
t like this at all.
"
You might say that,
"
she said faintly.
"
My husband was a state trooper. About four years ago, he pulled someone over for speeding. He
...
he was shot point-blank by the motorist.
"

Byrne slumped back in his chair, as if he himself had taken the bullet.
"Oh,
God. I
'
m so sorry.
"

"
It
'
s all right,
"
Helen said, forcing a tight smile of forgiveness.
"
It was a long time ago.
"

"
I
'
m sorry,
"
he repeated.
"
I
'
m so caught up in Linda
'
s death that
...
I
'
m sorry.
"

"
No, really, stop. You may not believe it right now, but people do work through their grief, some better than others.
"
She added,
"
I had a hard time because Hank died violently—
"

"
I understand, I understand completely,
"
he said.

Somehow she resented that.
"
I don
'
t see how you can,
"
she argued.
"
When someone
takes
a life, it
'
s always worse—
"

"
Right.
"

Something about his look, his voice, sent a shiver through Helen. He had refused to stick to the subject—his daughter—and had gone lurching off onto an unmarked path. As curious as Helen was to know the fate of Linda Byrne, she wasn
'
t sure she wanted to walk down that path just then. Not with him.