Beyond Broken (The Bay Boys #3) (30 page)

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When Maddie pulled into what she had been considering her parking space at the garage later that night, Brian was just leaving.

“Caleb told me you’d finished,” he greeted her with a big smile.
 
“But I had a feeling I’d be seein’ you again.”

Maddie managed a smile and gave him a hug, even though her heartbeat was thundering in her throat.
 
“I’m picking up some stuff, so I’m glad that I caught you before you left to say goodbye.”

“Ah, sweetie, I don’t think it’s goodbye.
 
You’ll be ‘round, won’t you?” he asked, pulling away, peering down at her carefully.
 
Maddie flushed when she realized he was fishing for answers.
 
He thought something was happening between her and Caleb, which she wouldn’t deny, but as far as she was concerned, whatever had been happening was over.

“I’m afraid it is goodbye,” she told him.
 
She pulled out a piece of paper and pen from her purse and scribbled on it.
 
“But here’s my cell phone number if you ever want to reach me.
 
I hope I’ll see you again sometime.”

Brian looked down to the ground and then glanced over his shoulder at the garage.
 
Peter must’ve already left because it was empty.
 
“I’m sorry to hear that.”
 
He took the piece of paper and folded it carefully into his back pocket.
 
“But I know I’ll see you again, even if you don’t think so.”

He gave her another big hug, nodded at her, and then made his way to his truck parked on the far side of the lot.
 
Maddie watched him go, but just as he drove past her on his way out, he rolled down his window and said, “Caleb’s in the back garage.”
 
Then he hesitated, choosing his words carefully.
 
“I don’t know what happened between you two, but ever since you started workin’ here, he’s been different.
 
It might not be easy for you to see, but I’ve known that boy since he was young.
 
Somethin’ has changed.”

Then he drove away and Maddie stood in the empty parking lot, shivering.
 
Nothing would ever come from their weird relationship.
 
Nothing.
 
She knew that as certainly as she knew the sky was blue.

But sometimes the sky is grey, or pink, or pitch black
, she couldn’t help but think.
 
She put a plug on her thoughts and walked around towards the second garage as the November air wove through the thin sleeves of her cardigan.

It was like a punch in the gut when she spotted Caleb, with his tousled hair and dark eyes, his strong body bent over the restoration he was working on, his jeans perfectly cupping the firmest backside she’d ever seen.

He turned when he heard her shoes tapping on the concrete and he rose from his position, snagging a rag lying on the work bench before wiping his hands.
 
The movement was so innately masculine, so innately
Caleb
, that Maddie swallowed and forced her gaze away.

Every nerve ending of her body was hyper-aware of how close he was.
 
Looking at him, knowing the power, the strength, of him, remembering the feeling of his length inside her, Maddie felt overwhelmed.
 
Mortified.
 
Disappointed.
 
Her skin itched and her fingers fidgeted at her sides until she closed them into fists.
 
It was too soon.
 
She shouldn’t be here.

“You came,” he said, his eyes running over her body, assessing, as though assuring himself that she was all right.
 
At least physically.

“You sound surprised,” she replied, avoiding his gaze, standing a couple yards away and not daring to venture closer.

“A part of me is.”

Maddie bristled at his words.
 
Had he not expected her to come after all?
 
Was this just another one of his games?

“I’ve had a long day,” she told him.
 
“I’d like to get back what belongs to me and then I’d like to get home.”

“Not before you hear what I have to say,” he said, approaching her.
 
He was wearing a grey t-shirt today and Maddie looked at it instead of him when he stopped in front of her.
 
“Maddie.”

“What?”

“Look at me.”

Knowing he wouldn’t give in until she did what he asked, she raised her gaze.
 
His eyes scanned her face, his brows furrowing at what he saw.

“I don’t like you like this,” he murmured.

“Like what?” she challenged.

“Indifferent and detached,” he replied, a hand coming up to brush back a strand of her hair.
 
“Cold.”

Maddie was two inches away from screaming.
 
“I don’t know what you want me to say, Caleb.”

His gaze was hard and probing and it made her feel warm and flushed.
 
Silence spread between them until he said, “Why didn’t you tell me?”

She knew exactly what he was referring to and she flinched.
 
Part of the blame for yesterday’s events fell on her shoulders.
 
She should’ve told him.
 
They’d both handled it poorly.

Honestly, she said, “The words wouldn’t come out.”

“You should’ve said something.”

Her eyes slid away at the anger in his voice.
 
“I’m sorry.
 
I know I should’ve told you, but everything happened so fast.”

He ran a hand through his hair.
 
“I would’ve…” he trailed off, biting off whatever words he would’ve said.
 
“Fuck.”

She waited for him to say something else, but when he didn’t, she was hurt.
 
He’d told her they needed to talk and that was all he had to say?
 
She’d apologized to him, yet he didn’t say anything about the way he’d stormed out afterwards, leaving her alone in that office after what they’d just done.

Resignation steeped deep.
 
The only other time in her life when she’d been this emotionally exhausted was when her father had died.
 
And didn’t that say something?
 
That she was comparing her relationship with Caleb to the death of her father?

Maddie shook her head, suddenly very tired.
 
“It was a mistake coming here.”

Caleb reached out to take her arm, like he was afraid she’d leave.
 
“I shouldn’t have left yesterday, Maddie.
 
I need you to know that.”

“It doesn’t matter anymore,” she murmured, looking up at him.
 
“Let’s just forget it, okay?”

Whatever he read on her face made his grip tighten.
 
“It
does
matter and I won’t forget it.
 
That would be easy for you, wouldn’t it?
 
To just pretend it never happened?”

She snatched her arm away.
 
“I’ll do what I have to to move past whatever this is,” she said, gesturing between the two of them.
 
“I’ve tried with you, Caleb.
 
I’ve ignored things that I shouldn’t have.
 
I’ve let things roll off my shoulders when I shouldn’t have.
 
I’ve done a lot of things these past two weeks that I
shouldn’t have
.
 
But now, it’s over.
 
And I’m going to put it all behind me because I have to.”

Maddie was surprised by the anger on his features.
 
“So, that’s it then?
 
You decide that you’re done, so it’s all over.”

“Just yesterday, you wanted me gone, Caleb.
 
You wanted to scare me away.
 
That part of you, that reflex to push me away, will
always
be there.
 
And I’ve just recently realized that you told me the truth.
 
You’ll never be able to fully trust me.
 
And without that, what’s the point?
 
I should’ve
listened
to you and that’s my fault.”

Caleb paced a few feet away and then returned, looking at everything but her.
 
It hurt to tell him these things, but she thought that they
both
needed to hear it.
 
Because of his past, Caleb would never be able to let her in completely.
 
A part of him would always be detached because he wouldn’t want her too close.
 
It was understandable, of course, but did she really want to pursue something with him knowing that, when her heart was already too invested?
 
She just wished that she’d realized it sooner and maybe she could’ve saved herself a fraction of this pain.

Caleb didn’t say anything when he thrust his hand into his back pocket and pulled out her gift cards.
 
Maddie had forgotten all about them for a moment and when he placed them into her hands, she stared down at them, her brow furrowed.
 
They seemed so silly sitting in her palm and she deposited them in her purse without a second glance.

When she looked back at Caleb, his features were drawn.
 
His voice was gravelly and rough when he said, “I was angry with you yesterday, but it wasn’t a
fraction
of the anger I felt for myself.
 
I never wanted to hurt you, Maddie.
 
Don’t think that what happened between us was just because I wanted to fuck you.
 
It wasn’t about that.
 
I just couldn’t understand why someone like you would waste something like that on me.”

The honesty in his voice broke Maddie’s heart because she knew that he believed it.
 
He thought that she’d ‘wasted’ her virginity on him.
 
Her mind drifted back to the night she’d stayed with him when he’d been drunk.
 
In the bathroom, he told her he was tainted.
 
Maddie could see now that he believed it.

“It was my choice,” she whispered, staring up at him when tears started to fill her eyes.
 
“I wanted to, and so I did.”

It didn’t change anything between them.
 
Caleb would always hold a strange part of her heart and perhaps she’d never know why.
 
It was just something about him.
 
If he was different, if she was different, maybe it would’ve worked out between them.
 
At the moment, they were just two puzzle pieces that wouldn’t fit.

Caleb saw the realization on her face, that it wasn’t meant to be, and nodded, blowing out a breath.
 
Maddie leaned up and Caleb met her halfway and their kiss was slow and soft.
 
She breathed him in, memorizing the scent of him, and then she pulled away.

“Bye, Caleb,” she whispered, pressing one last kiss to his cheek.
 
She turned away and walked as fast as her heels would carry her to her car, where she finally allowed the tears to fall fast and hard.

Heartbreak sucked.
 
And hers had just shattered like glass.

TWENTY-SIX

Three weeks passed and Caleb’s mood only deteriorated.
 
His men at the garage knew to steer clear of him.
 
Even Brian gave him a wider berth than usual and Peter didn’t even make eye contact anymore.

It had been a couple weeks since he’d last seen his friends as well.
 
But this black mood, whatever the hell was wrong with him…he couldn’t shake it.
 
He’d tried running longer than normal, pushing himself past his daily five miles until his whole body ached every night.
 
He’d tried throwing himself into the restoration he was working on.
 
He’d even tried visiting his uncle’s grave, wondering if what he was feeling was in relation to the aftershocks of his death.

Nothing worked.
 
And at the end of the three weeks, Caleb knew it all had to do with Maddie, that frustratingly beautiful brunette whom he couldn’t go an hour without thinking about.
 
He’d flipped to her contact in his phone over a dozen times, thumb poised over the call button.
 
He’d debated texting her more times than he cared to admit.
 
Everything in him screamed to contact her.

Then he would remember the night they’d said goodbye.
 
He’d remember the look on her face when she realized that he wasn’t worth all the trouble he’d already caused her.
 
He didn’t call her because he cared about her.

He sighed, scrubbing a hand down his scruffy jaw.
 
He hadn’t shaved in what seemed like weeks.

His computer screen in front of him began to blur.
 
It was nearing ten on a Friday night, but he’d declined to go out with his friends.
 
The last thing that appealed to him was getting hit on by sloppy drunk women as his friends, in their happy fucking relationships, looked on and laughed.
 
Getting
drunk
appealed to him, but he hadn’t had a drop of alcohol since the night Maddie took him home and he didn’t intend to start bad habits now.

Brian had left over two hours ago and the garage had long since been locked up for the night.
 
His office was silent, except for the low hum of his computer.
 
His eyes drifted over to the table that Maddie’s workspace had been set up on, his sleepy mind half-expecting to see her there.
 
After she’d finished her work, he’d taken it upon himself to keep up with the bookkeeping since he didn’t want to run into another mess, similar to the one his uncle had left him.
 
It took a lot of trial and error—and extensive Googling—but he finally got the hang of it.
 
Still, he couldn’t believe the amount of work Maddie had completed in such a short space of time.
 
She’d made it look easy.