Beyond (29 page)

“
I ’
m sorry. I have no choice, ”
he said sorrowfully.
“
Please understand , my love; I ’
m doing this for us.
”
I th ought that was what he said. His word s sounded jumbled. I wasn ’
t sure.

I knew I could make him stop, but I didn
’
t. Knowing this was something he did to keep us together kept me from fighting.
“
I ’
ll never forget you, no matter what you try to do to me. Memories are not kept in the minds, but in the hearts. Remember…
.
”
Then it became hazy.

My body jerked and my eyes shot open. It was daylight and the sun was out. Vaguely remembering my dream, I turned my head to the right as if I had always kn own the digital clock was there. The time flashed 12:30
p.m . How long had I been here, sleeping?
For some strange reason, I felt like someone was watching me. I got up and looked around to make sure no one was hiding and then carefully peeked out the window to scan the perimeter.

Looking around the room I s
aw the mess I ’d created yesterday. It looked as though a tornado had been here. Great! Nice job! As I was putting things back the way they were, I found a paystub with a name on it. Clau dia Emerson …w as that me?
Angels d id n ’
t have last names , so how could this be ? I worked at Fashion Wear?
Then I knew what I had to do next.

Because of my
tremendous speed, I was there in no time. Just before I entered the store , I looked around the back of the building, inspected the parking lot , and wherever else I could check out . I d id n ’
t know if it was just m y nerve s or if someone was following me.
Whatever the reason, I hated feeling like someone was there .

Feeling utterly nervous to see Patty again
, and this time knowing we were good fr iends once upon a life time ago , I walked in. Like the last time I was t here to use the restroom, I observed the high ceiling and the friendly atmosphere. It was difficult to conceive that I once held a job. Regardless, I was very proud of myself. It seemed as though I would ’
ve had tons of fun since I was working with a friend.

“
Hello and welcome to Fashion Wear, ”
Patty s aid with a huge friendly smile.

“
Hello, ”
I waved , a nd I was fixated on her. Patty had delicate facial features and her sweet voice was very pleasant. She was tall with a slender frame , and her brunette color ed hair was just above her shoulder s , shorter than it was in the pictures. She wore a pair of dark jeans and the same shirt that was on display, teal blue with a small flower to the side. It was very attractive on her light olive skin.

“
Do you need any help?
”

“
I…I…ummm. I ’
m just…looking, ”
I stuttered, breaking out of my observation, not reall y knowing what her question was . I headed toward a rack of clothes and pretend ed to be interested. The other girl, Nanci , that was t here the last time , gave me a smile. Several customers walked in a nd I watched Patty converse with them. She was a natural , and I wondered how I had been as a salesperson . Her eyes caught my eyes here an d there, most likely que stioning if I needed help , or wonder ing if I was going to steal something.

After the costumers left, I grabbed several T-shirt s and a pair of jeans and asked her if I could try them on.

“
I love these T-shirts, ”
she said cheerfully.
“
I bought one too.
”

“
How long have you worked here ?”
I asked, surprised at myself for being so blunt.

“
Too long, ”
she laughe d .
“
I ’
m not sure if I w ill work here after I graduate though.
”

“
You go to school?
”

She looked at me like it was a strange question and replied, “
I hope I don ’
t look too old, ”
she giggled .

“
No…I mean…
.
”

“
No worries, ”
she smiled again.
“
I haven ’
t seen you around. Well…except for the last time I almost knock you over.
”

My heart stopped from not knowing what to say.
“
I…I just moved here recently.
”

“
That ’
s great, ”
she said excitedly.
“
What school are you attending?
”

“
I…ummm…well…you see…I dropped out.
”
It was somewhat true , I guessed. I wasn ’
t sure.

“
Oh…no biggy. School is over rated anyway. I ’
m sure you had your reasons.
”

Patty was so sweet. She didn
’
t judge or criticize me. I felt like she was the type of friend who made you feel good no matter what you did or sa id , the kind of friend who would be there for you through thick and thin.

“
Here, why don ’
t I take you to the dressing room? We can talk for days standing out here. In fact, why don ’
t we hang out sometime?
”
she ask ed , leading us to the back, straight for the dressing room.
“
I can show you the town.
”

“
How about tonight ?”
I jumped, then fe lt like a dork for rushing things.

She stopped and turned.
“
I would love to tonight, but…I ’
m so sorry.
”
Her eyes cringed.
“
I ’
m going out with my boyfriend.
”
She continued walking.

Patty had a boyfriend. Wow! And of course I couldn ’
t rememb er who the heck he was , let alone his name. Feeling frustrated from not being able to remember, I just smiled so she couldn ’
t sense that I was upset.
“
It ’
s okay.
Next time.
”

We were standing at the dressing room.
“
Here you go. Let me know if you need anything. My name is Patty, by the way. I don ’
t remember telling you. And your name is…?
”

“
Claudia .
M
y name is Claudia.
”

She turned
on her heel and walked away. As soon as she was out of my sight I let out a big breath. Hiding myself inside the dressing room, I sat on the chair panting like crazy. It was too difficult to pretend when all I wanted to do was tell her we were friends. Bent over, I cover ed my face with the palms of my hands. Tears welled up, but I wasn ’
t going to cry. She couldn ’
t see me this way , and I knew if I shed a single tear, it would pour uncontrollably. A soft knock on the door forced me to gather myself.

“
You okay in there?
”

I stood up
, panicking , wondering if she knew what I was doing. She c ould n ’
t see what I was doing. She d id n ’
t have a clue, so I told myself to calm down. Had I been in t here that long that she would worry?
“
Yeah , I ’
ll be right out.
”

After I walked out, I saw Patty near the cash register. Nanci was attending to a c u st o mer . It had suddenly got ten busy.

“
I ’
ll take these two T-shirt s , ”
I said , placing them on the counter.

“
Good choice.
”
Patty rang them up.
“
That will be $21.50.
”

My face turned red. I was embarrassed beyond words. Checking the pockets of my jeans, I hope d for some miraculous reason I had placed the credit cards there instead of back inside my wallet, but of course I had n ’
t . And I was so mad at myself for forgetting to go back to Gamma ’
s house to pick up my purse.
“
Hmmm…I can ’
t believe this, but I forget to bring my credit card. I thought I put them in my pocket. I ’
m so sorry.
”
I felt like a huge dork again .

“
No worries. It ’
s okay. I do that all the time .”
S
he giggled like it was no big deal.
I knew she didn ’
t forget her card like that . She was being nice.

“
I ’
ll save these for you here. You ’
ll just have to come back and buy the m . If you call me ahead of time, we can go out.
I s that a plan?
”

“
Sure, ”
I smiled.
“
That is an awesome plan.
”

Patty reached inside her back pocket and pulled out a cell phone.
“
Why don ’
t you give me your number?
”

“
Hmmm…I forgot my cell phone, ”
I blushed, thinking of a reason why I didn ’
t have one. She must have thought I was a weirdo.

“
Okay, then you can just tell me the number and I ’
ll punch it in.
”

“
Hmmm…I just got my phone and I didn ’
t memorize the number. I ’
m so sorry.
”

“
No need to apologize. I forget my phone number all the time. And don ’
t you just hate it when you misplace your phone? I feel like I ’
ve lost a part of me. We rely on this thing way too much. I have like my life in here ; everyone ’
s number s, my work schedule , and everything else. And if I le ft it at home or if I ever lost it, I wouldn ’
t know who I was . You know what I mean ?”

“
Yes, ”
I nodded.
“
I kn o w what you mean.
”
But I was already lost , with or without the cell phone.

The line started to get longer and I had taken enough of her time.
“
I ’
ll come back when I can, ”
I said as cheerfully as I could , because the truth of the matter was I didn ’
t know when I would be back , or if I would be back at all.
“
Thanks for all your help.
”

“
No problem, ”
she beamed a bright smile.
“
Hope you ’
ll be able to come back soon.
”

“
I will, ”
I lied .
“
It was nice to meet you.
”
H
esitantly , I walked out the door. I turned my head and saw her helping the next costumer who anxiously waited for her turn.

I thought coming here and talking to Patty would help me remember, but it didn ’
t. The only g ood that came out of being here was that I got to meet her and we were somewhat friends.
If o nly I had a dam n cell phone ; if only I remembered to carry a purse like a normal teenager. How d id I know if my name was even Claudia Emerson besides the evidence on the paystub? I didn ’
t have a single identification on me. Then it dawned on me. I needed to go back to the place where I lost my memory, back to the place where it all began …
Specus.

Chapter
1
7

Going to Specus by myself was not a great idea. In fact, it was just plain stupid, but I didn ’
t care. I ’d gladly face whatever was there to find the missing pieces of my life. My anger and determination w ere leading the way.