Beware the Fisj (14 page)

“That’s everything,” panted Larry Wilson.

“Good,” sighed Bruno. “Let’s cover it up.”

Using shovels and hands, the boys heaped sand on top of Elmer’s work.

“Poor Elmer,” muttered Boots.

“At least he won’t get expelled,” Bruno pointed out. “And neither will we.”

There was a muffled cry and the sand began shifting.

Larry looked around frantically. “Sidney! Sidney! We’ve buried Sidney!”

Madly the boys dug in and hauled Sidney Rampulsky out of the pit. Covered in sand, Sidney eyed the others reproachfully.

“You’re not careful!” Larry raged. “You’re just not careful!”

The boys heaped up the sand once again and headed quickly and quietly back to their rooms.

The next evening, in a corner of the squad room of the Chutney police station, Featherstone and Hamilton pored over a large map of Chutney and the surrounding district. They had been up all night comparing notes on their observations and experiences, and had been working most of the day on the map.

“Now,” said Hamilton, “we’ve got a black X in every area where there’ve been complaints of fish broadcasts. Let’s see if we can find out where they’re coming from.”

Both men studied the map intently for a moment.

“The area is round,” commented Featherstone, to break the monotony.

“So it is,” agreed Hamilton.

“As a matter of fact,” added Featherstone, “it’s almost a perfect circle. So —”

“So the broadcasts have to be coming from the centre of the circle,” finished Hamilton. He laid a long, bony finger on the map. “That would be right here.”

Featherstone beckoned to the desk sergeant and pointed to the centre of the circle. “What’s located there?”

The man scratched his head. “Schools,” he replied finally. “Yeah, two boarding schools, right across the road from each other.”

“Schools,” mused Hamilton. “That’s impossible. Just children.”

“Yes, definitely two schools,” confirmed the sergeant. “One’s a girls’ finishing school called Scrimmage’s, and the other’s a boys’ school. It’s called Macdonald Hall.”

“That’s M.H.!” cried Featherstone. “
M.H. Flying Fish
was written on that bomb! This is what we’ve been looking for! Macdonald Hall!”

“But a bunch of kids?” protested Hamilton.

“Kids have teachers,” Featherstone insisted in growing excitement, “and teachers are adults. One of those adults is the Fish!”

“The perfect cover,” agreed Hamilton slowly. “No one would think to investigate for terrorist activity in a school. This Fish is a clever one.”

“We don’t know who we’re after, so we’ll have to restrict the whole place,” decided Featherstone. “We’ll need barriers and men. Sergeant, can you help us?”

“Well,” offered the desk sergeant, “we’ve only got eight men on the Chutney force, but you can get any support you need from the county police.”

“Good,” said Featherstone. “Tonight we bring in the Fish!”

* * *

“What happened?” bawled Elmer Drimsdale, home from his field trip. “Where are all my things?” The room looked empty without all the equipment. The only things left were the plants and the ant colony. “What have you
done
?”

“We buried them,” explained Bruno.

“You what?”

“Listen, Elmer, you’re lucky we don’t bury you too!” snapped Boots. “It’s all your fault, you and your stupid invention!”

Elmer just stood there, stunned.

“You told us it would only broadcast to the screen on your black box!” accused Bruno. “That thing has been beaming my fish jokes and your idiot salmon all over the county!”

“Remarkable!” breathed Elmer.

“Yeah, The Fish thought so too,” said Bruno bitterly. “He was pretty sure it was us, but he couldn’t prove it. So he called a big dorm inspection. We
had
to get rid of your stuff or the three of us would have been expelled!”

Elmer looked as if he were about to faint. “Expelled! I was almost expelled and I didn’t even know it!” he exclaimed weakly. “You did the right thing! I hope you buried it deep enough!”

“Time will tell,” said Boots. “And the next high jump.”

“We passed inspection by the skin of our teeth,” added Bruno. “We had to borrow a rug to cover up the holes in the floor where you bolted down the black box.”

“So we weren’t caught, then?” asked Elmer in a small, hopeful voice.

“Hey,” boasted Bruno, “I never get caught.”

“Still,” said Boots, “the way The Fish looked at us makes me nervous! He knows!”

“It was an honest mistake,” babbled Elmer. “How was I to know that I would get such range?”

“No one’s blaming you, Elm,” said Bruno kindly.

“I am,” snapped Boots feelingly. “You get me into enough trouble. You don’t need any help from Elmer.”

“I’m a failure,” lamented Elmer despondently. “I wanted so much to help save Macdonald Hall. I’m no good for anything.”

“Don’t be an idiot,” said Bruno, glaring at Boots.

“That’s just it,” mourned Elmer. “I am an idiot.”

Boots sighed. “You’re a genius,” he corrected firmly. “You’ve worked harder than anyone else on this project. It’s just that — well, I guess even a genius fouls up once in a while.”

“And you’re our friend,” said Bruno.

“And our roommate,” added Boots.

Elmer brightened. “It’s so good to have friends.” He looked up at the bare wall where his beloved salmon poster had hung. “It’s a good thing I have several more in the dresser.”

Bruno looked at Boots. “No you don’t,” they chorused.

“We didn’t get expelled,” sighed Elmer, “but at what cost!”

* * *

Seven cars, their headlights out, pulled silently onto the soft shoulder of the highway near Macdonald Hall. Thirty shadowy figures left the cars and gathered in a group for a final briefing.

“Okay, men,” said Featherstone, “this is it. I want the whole campus surrounded. Everyone is under restriction. No one goes in or out.”

“What about the kids?” asked a Chutney patrolman.

“They don’t go in or out either,” said Hamilton. “Who knows how many the Fish has influenced.”

“So watch them,” cautioned Featherstone. “And remember, we don’t want anyone hurt. When the Fish is cornered he may try to take the kids as hostages.” He cleared his throat and raised his voice so the whole group could hear him. “We’ll give you five minutes to spread out around the perimeter. Then Hamilton and I are going in with Kowalski and Baker.”

The men stole away in the darkness to take up their assigned positions.

Featherstone, Hamilton and the two patrolmen got into Hamilton’s unmarked car and turned into the Macdonald Hall driveway. Seeing a light on in the Faculty Building, they stopped the car in front of it and got out.

Mr. Sturgeon himself came out to greet him. “Good evening,” he said courteously but without enthusiasm. “You gentlemen must be from the land developer’s office. I’ve been told to expect you.”

“Are you in charge here?” asked Featherstone.

“Yes, I’m the Headmaster. Sturgeon is my name.”

“Sturgeon!” exclaimed Featherstone. “That’s a kind of
fish
, isn’t it?”

“How clever of you to have noticed,” Mr. Sturgeon remarked, eyeing Featherstone coldly.

Whipping out his badge, Featherstone announced, “We’ve got you now, Fish!”

Mr. Sturgeon stared at him. “I beg your pardon?”

“Do you think we don’t know what you’ve been doing? Did you think you could get away with it forever?” Featherstone was basking in the glory of his first capture. “Oh, no! We’ve got you now, Fish! You and your Fish Patrol are finished! The long arm of the law has caught up with you!” He nodded to the taller of the two patrolmen. “Take him, Kowalski.”

Kowalski stepped forward and swiftly handcuffed himself to Mr. Sturgeon.

The Headmaster was livid. “What in the world do you think —”

Hamilton reached into the car and produced an electric megaphone.
“Attention!”
his voice boomed across the campus.
“Macdonald Hall is now under restriction! No one is to enter or leave the grounds! Repeat, no one is allowed to enter or leave!”

“If you would kindly explain,” Mr. Sturgeon insisted.

“You’ll get all the explanation you want,” snapped Featherstone, “in front of a judge!”

“But —”

The announcement had aroused the boys of Macdonald Hall and a swarm of them, headed by Bruno and Boots, stampeded onto the scene.

“Look!” blurted Bruno before he realized that he was shouting loud enough for the police and the Headmaster to hear. “Those guys have busted The Fish!”

Featherstone turned in horror to Hamilton. “Did you hear that? Even the kids know he’s the Fish! There’s nothing more contemptible than involving children in terrorist acts!” He faced Mr. Sturgeon. “I’m going to see that you’re locked up for five hundred years!”

Mr. Sturgeon just stood there, shocked beyond words.

“What’s going on?” asked one of the students.

“The Fish got busted!”

“But why?”

“I don’t know!”

“They’re taking him away!”

“I can’t see anything!”

“Get off my foot!”

“What did The Fish do?”

“Probably robbed a bank!”

“I wonder how long he’ll get?”

“Yep. That was it. He robbed a bank.”

“This is all a ridiculous mistake!” insisted Mr. Sturgeon.

“Yeah, and you made it,” jibed Hamilton with great satisfaction.

Near the entrance to the driveway the land developer’s new black limousine pulled up and was stopped by three police officers. The developer rolled down his window.

“What’s going on? I have a business appointment here.”

“An appointment here, eh?” answered one of the officers. “Get out of the car, sir, and keep your hands where we can see them.”

“What are you, nuts?”

“No, sir, not nuts,” returned the policeman. “Just doing our job. Your chauffeur too, please. Both of you get into the first patrol car over there.”

“Are we being arrested?” demanded the developer in bewilderment.

“No, sir, just detained. Into the patrol car, please. An officer will take your statement.”

Hamilton’s voice boomed across the campus again.
“Everybody keep calm! Everything is under control! There is no need for alarm!”

The entire population of Macdonald Hall was milling around in confusion in front of the Faculty Building.

“Let him go!” bellowed Bruno at a nervous-looking Kowalski. “Whatever it is, he didn’t do it! I can vouch for him!”

Mr. Sturgeon was still trying to reason with Featherstone. “Officer, if you will just listen to me!”

“You’ll have plenty of time to talk,” shouted Featherstone over the din, “when we get you and your Fish Patrol down to the station.”

“He’s a nice guy!” shouted Bruno from the crowd.

“Yeah!” shouted many students in agreement.

Across the road Miss Scrimmage’s P.A. system burst into life with Cathy Burton’s voice:
Attention, girls! Macdonald Hall is being invaded! They need our help! Let’s go!

Instantly a stream of girls burst out through the door and thundered across the highway to the Macdonald Hall driveway. They did not even see the three officers who made half-hearted attempts to block their way. Scrimmage’s girls were stopped by nothing. They stampeded onto the campus and ran towards the crowd of boys.

“Oh, no!” shouted Featherstone, appalled. “Is everyone in on this? Hamilton, do something!”

Girls were already mixing with the milling crowd of boys, making the scene even more chaotic.

“Go away!”
shouted Hamilton desperately over the megaphone.
“Go back! This is a restricted area! Please go away!”

On her balcony Miss Scrimmage stood screaming at her girls and waving her shotgun. “Girls! Girls, come back here at once! Please come back!” She stubbed her toe and tripped.

BOOM!
The shotgun went off and pellets tore into the sand of the high jump pit just inside the Macdonald Hall grounds.

“It’s that crazy lady!” shouted the developer in the shocked silence that followed the shotgun blast. “Arrest her! Don’t let her near my new car!”

A loud, bubbling hiss rose from the pit as Elmer Drimsdale’s spilled chemicals and equipment began to react to the disturbance beneath the thin layer of sand. Then the hiss faded and for a moment you could hear a pin drop.

Suddenly the silence was pierced by Elmer’s half-crazed scream.
“Oh, no! Take cover!”

At that very moment there was a tremendous explosion. The entire sand pit rose upward in a huge fireball, illuminating the dark campus. Sand, mingled with bits of the buried equipment, shot into the air. The crowd was engulfed in a rain of charred salmon posters. A second explosion followed, then a third, and finally what looked and sounded like a brilliant fireworks display.

“Hold your positions, men!” screamed Featherstone, crouching behind the flagpole as the barrage continued. A salmon poster fluttered down beside him and he stared at it in disbelief.

From her balcony Miss Scrimmage gazed in horror at the havoc below. “Help! Police!” she wailed.

“What’s all this racket?” bellowed Coach Flynn from his window. The sight that met his eyes shocked him so much that he leaned over too far and toppled into the bushes around Dormitory 2.

“Everybody remain calm!”
shrieked Hamilton’s terrified voice over the megaphone.
“This is —”
the wind caught a salmon poster and slapped it right up against his face.

Abruptly the explosions ceased, and in the silence that followed, the howling of approaching sirens could be heard.

Timidly Bruno lifted his head in time to see a large fire engine roar up and stop beside the developer’s blazing limousine. Miraculously, nothing else was on fire and no one seemed to be hurt.

“My car!” howled the developer from the floor of the police cruiser. His chauffeur was in tears. “That crazy woman blew up my new car!”

“Look!” exclaimed Boots breathlessly, pointing to the road. The highway was choked with cars, and a crowd of spectators stood on the edge of the campus staring curiously at the goings-on. Miss Scrimmage’s lawn was completely covered by parked vehicles, among them the CHUT-TV mobile unit.