Between Shadows (22 page)
Authors: Chanel Cleeton
At the first smell of smoke, panic spreads through my body. I can see the fire now just outside the doorway, right outside the room. And I know—
All along he planned to trap us here. He knew exactly which buttons to push because he created the fear that lives inside me. All along he wanted us to die.
“Shit,” Luke exclaims. “Don’t do this to me. You have to snap out of it. If we don’t get out of this room, we’re going to die. Do you understand me?”
I nod woodenly, my body paralyzed by fear. I want to be strong. I know I have to be strong—for myself, for Luke, for Grace. But it’s like he’s here in the room with me, like my father is still pulling all of the strings—controlling me with fear. I don’t know how to escape.
Luke grabs the desk chair, throwing it toward the window. It makes a loud thud against the pane, but the glass doesn’t crack.
“I could use a little bit of help here,” Luke shouts.
But I can’t.
I want to help him. I want to escape. I want to run. Instead I drop to the floor, pulling my knees against my chest, and begin to rock. The flames are getting closer, the smoke building around me. I’m in my own world now, haunted by the memories flooding me.
I remember
everything.
I was young when he started bringing me into that room. So young. In the beginning, I thought it was a game. In the beginning, I
liked
it. He gave me candy, a doll, so many little gifts every single time I was good or clever. Every single time I performed the way they wanted me to, like the lab rat that I was. I was too young to understand what the games really measured: the tests to my cognitive functions, all of those attempts to shape me into the asset I am today. With each new test the stakes became higher, the challenges darker, more terrifying, until the real experiments started and everything went black.
Luke kneels down in front of me, the pain in his eyes nearly making my heart break. “We have to go.” His voice is firm, but gentle.
“I’m not allowed to leave the room,” I whisper.
Luke blinks.
“He hurts her if I leave the room. If I don’t do exactly what he says—”
“Grace?” Luke asks.
I shake my head, my voice a broken sob. “Mama. He hurts her if I disobey him.”
Luke grips my hand, squeezing tightly. “He can’t hurt her anymore. She’s somewhere better now.”
I think of what Father Murphy told me. I think of heaven. I hope he’s right and it really does exist. I hope she’s there right now. I hope she escaped him. If there really is such a thing as good and evil, my father is the devil.
“We have to go.”
“I can’t.”
Luke pulls me to my feet, wrapping his arm around my body, pulling me against him.
“Do you trust me?”
I’m so afraid. I’m small and helpless again, as if all the years of training and missions have evaporated. This room makes me feel like a child, and he always wins.
“I need you to jump.”
I look up. Luke’s gotten the window open now. Shards of glass border the edges.
“I can’t.”
And then he’s kissing me. It’s desperate, and all-consuming, and for a moment I forget the ugliness and death that has surrounded me my entire life.
“I love you,” Luke whispers against my mouth. “I need you. Grace needs you. Don’t let him win. I need you to jump.”
And so I jump.
###
He gets up slowly, wincing in pain.
“Are you okay?” he asks.
I nod. “You?”
“Yeah. How far away is the chopper?”
I jerk my head toward the woods, my voice shaky. “Two miles. You still there?” I speak into the mic.
“I’m here. Do you have them?” Oscar asks.
“I have Luke. My sister is gone.” My voice cracks. “They still have her.”
There’s silence on the other end of the line.
“Are you guys coming to me?”
My gaze drifts to Luke. He’s hunched over slightly, his face a mask of pain. I know just how much damage my father can inflict in that room. There’s no sign of any of the guards, no sign of activity anywhere. If my father was here, he’s long gone now. And he took Grace with him.
“We need you to come get us. It should be clear. It was a setup.”
“How can I find you?” Oscar yells into my ear.
I turn toward the house. The flames have grown now, spreading against the exterior walls. This is no accident. This is an all-out blaze, an attempt to destroy.
“Look for the fire.”
Luke moves closer, wrapping his arm around my body. His weight sags against me.
“I’ll kill him,” I vow.
Luke’s eyes flash. “Not if I get there first.”
“Was he alone?”
“My mother was there.”
I should have known the Director would be involved.
“Were they the ones chasing us the night in London?”
“I don’t know,” he answers. “I think there’s more out there, more than just Ares, other organizations in play. We were a way into Ares, to hit at the Academy. I think this is bigger than anything we ever imagined.” He takes a deep breath. “They mentioned an experiment.”
“Project X?”
He blinks in surprise. “Yeah, where did you hear about it?”
“Oscar found it in our files.”
It was never about Grace. It was always about me. And Luke. And the one thing that binds us—
Project X.
I know now that the titles of “mother” and “father” that we have given our parents are meaningless. I like to think that my mother really loved us—I have to, considering how she gave her life to save Grace and me. But my father? Luke’s mother? To them we are nothing more than experiments—assets, expendable tools. We are not their children. Not in any meaningful sense of the world.
We are unnatural creatures, created by power, greed, and hate. And now the monster from my nightmares has my sister.
Fury fills my throat, choking me with rage.
“We’ll get her back, X.”
“I know.”
“He won’t kill her.”
No, he won’t kill her. But he will try to break her. Just like he tried to break me.
Overhead, the sound of chopper blades fills the night sky.
“There’s our ride.”
Oscar lowers the helicopter down toward us. It hovers over the ground.
“You ready?” Luke asks.
I shake my head, turning toward the house. The flames climb higher now, nearly engulfing the entire structure. I feel the heat and smell the smoke wafting off the building.
I welcome the flames. There’s no fear now, only vengeance rushing through my blood. My father underestimated me if he thought the fire would destroy me. It fuels me now.
“Are you ready?” Luke asks again.
I shake my head. “Give me a second. I need to watch it burn.”
###
I spend the flight staring out the window. I don’t know how Luke got the plane, and I don’t know what we would have done if he hadn’t. We’ve barely spoken since Oscar flew us away, heading straight for a private airstrip Luke knew about. It’s only a matter of time before they—Ares, my father—realize we didn’t die.
Luke was right before. There’s no choice but to retreat. Even if it’s only temporary.
“Are you hurt?”
I shake my head, not looking up. There’s a gentleness and concern in his voice that I’m not ready to handle. I need to be ice right now, need to be solely focused on Grace. I can’t afford the pain that rips through me at the sight of Luke’s battered face.
He slips into the seat next to me.
“We’ll find her.”
“We have to.”
“We will.” Luke squeezes my hand. “They won’t hurt her. They need her.”
I nod. I know he’s right. Grace is too valuable to them. She may have been too young to really undergo our father’s training, but she has potential. And he can control her. Just like he’s tried to control me. Whatever role he plays in Ares, he’s calling the shots, at least some of them. And I don’t doubt the Director is right beside him.
Luke always said our families were old friends. We just never realized how ugly the connection is.
“I should have traded places with her. I should have let them have me.”
“Do you really think it would have ended there? They don’t want Grace. They want you. They want both of us. They’ll always use her to get to you; she’ll always be a tool to them. And when her utility runs out, when they no longer need her to get to you, they’ll throw her away. You’re too smart to not realize that. I know you want to be a martyr for your sister, but you have to be tactical about this. You can’t afford to be emotional. We’ll get her back.”
I turn toward him, our faces just inches apart. The plane is dark and quiet around us.
“Why are you still here? Why are you helping us? You can walk away from all of this.”
“I can’t.”
“Why?”
I need to hear him say it. I need a glimmer of what I experienced in his arms.
“Because.”
He reaches out, brushing a strand of my loose hair behind my ear. I close my eyes, relishing the feel of our skin touching.
I want more.
I want to stroke his skin, cover his bruises with my lips. I hate that my father hurt him; I hate knowing the kind of pain Luke was forced to endure. I wish I could erase every bad thing that happened to him in that room, wish I could have traded places with him.
“I would do anything for you, X. I love you.”
There it is. The words I’m afraid to voice, but desperately need to hear. I feel it now more than ever, the tie binding me to Luke. The one that was always there, even when I didn’t realize it.
I love you, too.
I move forward, capturing his mouth in a swift kiss. It’s a desperate kiss, one born in flames and fire, one fueled by fear, pain, and regret. I’m desperate for him, drowning in him. He kisses me back with the same intensity. His arms wrap around my waist, his hands stroking my back.
We’re both trying to fix what I fear is irretrievably broken in each other.
In this moment, I’m someone else entirely. I’m the girl I wish I could be. I kiss him using my lips and mouth to say everything I can’t. I soothe. I caress. I heal.
I wish things were different, wish I were someone else. Someone who could be with Luke and give him what he deserves. I wish we were two normal people, happy and in love.
I wish.
I pull away, my lips puffy, heart pounding.
There’s a silence sweeping in now, replacing the hunger and the lust. It brings with it sadness. Something flickers in Luke’s eyes. A regret of sorts. I know it mirrors the emotion shining in my own.
“I know,” he whispers. I close my eyes, basking in the sound of that voice. I could get lost there.
“No distractions.”
“No distractions,” I echo. My voice is full of apology even though I know he understands. We’re cut from the same cloth.
“I can’t afford to be distracted. Not now. Not until I get Grace back.”
“I know.”
“I’m sorry.”
Luke shakes his head. “I’m here. I’m not going anywhere. We’re a team. We’ll find Grace. We’ll finish this.”
“Thank you.”
Luke’s hands clasp mine. His fingers graze my hand, traveling down to trace the scar between my palm and my wrist. He rubs it. Once, twice. And then he releases me, the connection broken.
We don’t speak for the rest of the flight.
I don’t sleep. I plot, I plan, I scheme. I’ve become everything they always wanted me to be. Any emotion is locked away. There is no softness in me. No peace. No weakness. All that matters is getting my sister back.
The plane touches down on a deserted airstrip with a hard bounce and a whine, the sun beginning to rise, the sky a palette of reds, pinks, and yellows that looks too perfect to be real.
“Where are we?”
Luke glances out the tiny plane window. “If I had to guess? Somewhere in the Mediterranean?”
“Menorca,” Oscar answers, stepping out of the cockpit. “I have a contact here. We can stay in his house while we regroup.”
While we retreat.
I pull out my phone, staring at the screen, willing a message to appear. I hate being impotent. It’s too close to the memories of
before
, when they would tie me to that chair for hours until I nearly went mad with fear. There is nothing more terrifying than someone having complete and total control over you. Or so I thought. But now I know, the most terrifying thing in the world is someone having complete and total control over the person you love most.
They will hurt her. They will take all of the goodness inside of her, all of the bright and shiny parts, and turn them into something dark and mangled. Something like me.
Unless I stop them.
Luke and I grab our gear as Oscar deals with the plane, and then the three of us are jumping into an open-top Jeep, Luke behind the wheel, Oscar next to him. I sit in the back, my phone clutched in my hand, images of my little sister being tortured in a small, dark room filling my mind.
The drive feels endless, but finally we pull up to a two-story white house built like cubes stacked on top of each other. It’s modern and clean, and I barely register anything about my surroundings, my thoughts consumed by Grace.
We choose the dining room as our war room, setting up the computers Oscar brought with him, putting everything we have about Ares and the Academy on the table.
When we’re done, they both look at me.
“What do you want to do?” Luke asks.
This is the moment that has consumed my sole attention since I watched that house burn to the ground.
“I want to leak every single file we stole.” I turn toward Oscar. “I want to put it on the same sites that you used to track the missing assets. I want to peel back the curtain on the Academy and Ares so that every asset knows the truth about them.”
“You want to incite a revolution,” Luke says.
“Yes.”
Neither one of them answers me.
“We don’t have the manpower or the ability to destroy the whole organization. Period. But what if we don’t have to? What if we coordinate an attack with all of the other assets around the world? A global strike on the academies and Ares.”
“Do you really think these files are enough to inspire everyone to fight back?” Luke asks.
“It’s our best shot. Our time is limited. Their resources and connections far outnumber ours. They’re going to search for us, and the longer they do, the greater the likelihood that they’ll find us. They won’t anticipate us regrouping or attacking so quickly. The element of surprise is the only thing we have left.
“I think everyone has lost something at the hands of the academies and Ares. I don’t think anyone is happy in their situation, but we’ve all been trained to isolate ourselves. People will be stronger if they have allies in this. It makes a difference, knowing that you’re not alone.”
Luke reaches out and squeezes my hand, his voice rough. “Yeah, it does.”
“I think the files will highlight how dangerous Ares is. We can also leak the lists of the disappearing assets, all of the information Oscar has collected. That in conjunction with the records we have is pretty damning. We just have to hope that people have their own doubts and concerns to fuel the fire.”
It’s a lot to count on, but we’re all out of options.
“How quickly can you release this information?” I ask Oscar. “And how widely?”
“I can have it uploaded in under an hour. It’ll spread fast.”
“We need to find a way to mobilize them,” Luke interjects. “A call to arms, so to speak.”
“We could write a message,” Oscar suggests.
“I was thinking something with a little more impact.” Luke’s gaze settles on me. “You up to making a video?”
“Me?”
I’m the last person I would think of for this. “Plays well with others” isn’t exactly my style.
“They took your sister. Took your life. You’re the face of this, whether you want to be or not. Do it for Grace. Do it for us. I know you; you want to destroy them. Make it count.”
He’s right; I want to be the one pulling the trigger that takes them down. This isn’t a job. This is personal.
I turn to Oscar.
“Do you have a camera?”
###
I’ve done this before—stared into a camera. They videotaped me when they experimented on me and the red light taunts me now as the memories try to fight their way inside my head.
I take a deep breath, channeling my rage, using it to carry me somewhere else, somewhere far away from the memories of what they’ve done to me in front of the camera.
Oscar gives me a nod and I began reciting the speech we decided on, the video streaming live. I don’t look at Luke, instead focusing my attention on a spot over his shoulder, on the mission, on getting my sister home.
“My name is X. I’ve been an asset—an assassin—at the Academy in London for most of my life. They are not who they claim to be. We are not who we think we are. All along they’ve told us that we’re writing wrongs, that we’re the scales of justice penalizing the guilty for their crimes and restoring balance to a chaotic system.”
My gaze locks with Luke and the determination blazing in his eyes fuels me.
“Everything they’ve told us is a lie.”
With each word, my voice grows stronger.
“A week ago, we broke into the Academy in London.” If that doesn’t get some attention, I don’t know what will. “We’re uploading the files now. These files cover all of the assets that have gone through the Academy in London. They show what we really are to them: their private army, expendable weapons that are deployed until our utility expires and we are terminated. They show that there is another organization behind the academies—Ares—a secret organization that has been kept from us all of this time.
“How many of you have lost someone you cared about? Have lived in fear in their shadow? How many of you are sick of them running our lives, angry at being controlled, at being little more than a thing to them? Never a person, just a blunt object.
“They’ve killed my parents, tortured and experimented on me, tried to kill me, and taken my sister. They won’t stop what they do, won’t stop the killing and the lies. They will never stop until we make them stop.
“If you have the same anger burning inside of you, if you’re ready to take back your life and make them pay for everything they’ve taken from you, then we ask you to stand with us. We’re ready to take down the academies, Ares, to burn them to the ground and walk over their ashes.”
I find Luke again, my words for him.
“They’ve controlled us for all of these years because they’ve separated us, kept us from forming attachments. It’s time to stop playing by their rules. No one person can take them down, but together we can prove what they’ve always known. Together we have the power to destroy them.
“They’ve taught us to be invisible. To blend into the shadows as ghosts. They’ve taught us to keep to ourselves, to operate on the fringes of society, to change our identities with ease. They’ve taught us to disappear. They’ve taught us to kill.”
My next words come with a promise. One I’ll die for.
“I’m coming for them now. Join me.”
The feed cuts out as Oscar flashes the “Project X” symbol he created on the screen, the image filling me with purpose. Every mission needs a codename and there’s a symmetry to using the name they used for their unholy experiments—me and Luke—that is simply irresistible. It’s the banner I’ll carry when I annihilate them.
The documents flash across the screen as Oscar uploads everything we have: the battle plans we’ve drafted to be disseminated to every asset, all of the files we stole, Oscar’s ongoing attempts to catalogue deaths, everything they need to join our fight.
We’re taking a big risk trusting these nameless assets out there, but I figure it’s time to do things differently. If I’ve learned anything in all of this, if being with Luke has taught me anything, it’s that I’m stronger when I have people fighting beside me. Ares wants me weakened and alone. They want me to think I have no one to trust.
Divide and conquer.
I’m done playing by their rules.
Tomorrow we go to war.