Better Than Perfect (6 page)

“Tomorrow.”

“Doesn’t give you much time to prepare. But you’ll do fine. “ Johnny wished he had Bryce’s confidence.

“My ex is running it.” Johnny had no idea how much time he’d be forced to spend with her. She’d emailed a bunch of information to him last night. Along with a very impersonal message about how she was looking forward to working with him and his teammates. She’d agreed to meet with him this afternoon, so that was something.

“Awkward.” Bryce seemed to think the situation was amusing. But then he was the kind of guy who found most things amusing. Baxter’s reputation was pretty much the opposite of Johnny’s. Enthusiastic. Fun-loving. Charismatic. Always happy to be the center of attention, especially when the attention came from attractive and willing females.

“You have no idea.” Johnny was starting to like him, in spite of their differences. As much as Bryce liked to goof around off the field, he was all business once he stepped onto the diamond. He seemed like a happy-go-lucky kind of guy, but he was serious about his game. Johnny was looking forward to having him behind him on the field.

“Who knows? This could be your chance to rekindle the old flame.” Bryce gave him a wink.

“Not going to happen.” He’d given her his heart once. She hadn’t wanted it. He wasn’t good enough for her. “I’m going to be there for the kids. That’s all.”

“Sure. The kids.” Bryce chuckled as if he knew something Johnny didn’t.

* * * *

Alice arrived to find Johnny already seated at the restaurant. He stood to meet her and she needed to remind herself to breathe. His bio listed him at six-five, two-twenty, but he seemed so much bigger. Stronger. More
there
. He’d been a little thinner in college. Lankier. Not yet sure of his power as a man.

He pulled out her chair and his arm brushed her shoulder. She became all too aware of Johnny’s power. He was a fully grown man, now. One who made his living with his body. He returned to the other side of the table, and she was able to draw a breath. To draw her attention back to why they were there.

She pulled a thick folder from her tote bag. “Most of the information in here is a hard copy of what I already sent you.” She slid the folder across the table. “But I added a brochure detailing the foundation’s mission statement, program offerings and a list of major donors. There’s also a booklet
on coaching youth sports, focusing on positive player progression. I’ve included some icebreaker games for getting the kids’ attention. And of course, a copy of the schedule for the week.”

“Thanks. I did take a look at the website links you sent me.” Johnny’s voice was warm, almost friendly. It would be so easy to believe they could slip into that easy companionship she’d taken for granted. A unique combination of passion and camaraderie that she now knew was one-of-a-kind. “I like that you keep the focus on skills development and teamwork.”

“I’m pretty proud of this program. It’s more than just a game for some of these kids.” Alice felt a small surge of pride. She’d seen what baseball had done for Johnny. What it was doing for Zach, although thankfully, Zach had plenty of other opportunities. For Johnny, baseball was all he’d had. “We’re developing skills they can use on or off the field. Teamwork being one of them.”

“So, are we a team?” To anyone who didn’t know their history, the question would have sounded perfectly innocent.

“I hope we can work together. For the kids.” She missed him. Missed them. They’d been quite the team. And Johnny’s skills went well beyond the baseball diamond.

“Sure. The kids.” Johnny flipped through the folder. If he was overwhelmed by the amount of information she’d provided, he didn’t show it. “Wow, you went to a lot of trouble.”

“I remembered how much you liked to prepare before a game.” Maybe she’d gone a little overboard. But she wanted it to be perfect. “And you always did pretty well cramming before a big exam.”

“I got lucky a lot.” He glanced down at the information in front of him. But not before she saw the barest trace of a smile that hinted he was referring to more than his grades. She’d been a big part of the reason he’d needed to cram in the first place.

He hesitated when he got to the back page of the brochure. He stared at the photo of Mel and Zach, taken not long before the accident.

“Were you happy?”

It was a simple question. But she didn’t have a simple answer.

“Hi, I’m Tiffany and I’ll be taking care of you today.” The waitress’s appearance gave her a minute to compose her response. “Can I start you off with something to drink?”

“I’ll have an iced tea.” Alice could answer that one easily enough.

“The same.” Johnny took his gaze off Alice just long enough to be polite to their server.

“Do you need more time?”

“I know what I want.” Johnny stared at Alice. Once upon a time he would have been hinting at something more than a sandwich.

“I’m ready to order.” Alice closed her menu and smiled at their waitress. She ordered the French onion soup with a Caesar salad.

Johnny chose the clam chowder and a sourdough turkey melt.

“So, you didn’t answer my question.” Johnny watched her pour three-quarters of a sugar packet into her tea. He took his plain. Some things hadn’t changed. But so many things had. “Were you happy with Mel?”

She stirred her tea long after the sugar had dissolved.

“He was good to me.” For the most part. “He was a good man.”

“I used to think so.” Johnny balled up the straw wrapper, rolling it between his fingers. “I never thought he was the kind of guy to fool around with my girlfriend behind my back.”

“We weren’t fooling around behind your back.” She played with her straw, stirring the ice in her glass. Anything to avoid looking at him. Seeing the hurt that was still there. “We weren’t together until after you left.”

Timing wasn’t the issue. She’d slept with his best friend. She could have slept with his whole team and it wouldn’t have hurt him nearly as much.

“So he just swept you off your feet?” There was no mistaking the bitterness in his voice.

“Is this really what you wanted to talk about?” So much for the illusion of a potential friendship.

“No. Not really.” The waitress arrived with their meal. “I don’t think I’d ever seen him that happy.”

He pointed to the picture. It had been a difficult decision, choosing the photograph that would represent Mel in all their promotional materials. Their wedding photo seemed a little too formal. Too staged. There were a few family photos taken at holidays and such, but she never liked the way either of them looked. As if one of them was trying too hard. Or not hard enough.

In the end she’d selected the candid photo of a trip to Golden Gate Park. She’d snapped the picture when they took a break from the aquarium to grab a bite to eat and let Zach run around on the grass. He’d come up behind Mel to surprise him, and put his skinny little arms around Mel’s neck. At that moment, Mel had been truly happy.

“He was good with Zach.” Alice smiled, remembering how hard he’d worked at fatherhood. How much effort he’d made to be a good husband to her. “He really wanted to be a good dad. When he was around.”

Johnny nodded, taking a bite of his sandwich.

She hadn’t meant to imply Mel was too busy working to spend much time with her and Zach. But that had been the case. And in some ways, she’d preferred it that way. She’d been happy raising Zach. Making a home. Trying to be a good wife. But when they were alone, just the two of them, Alice couldn’t deny something was missing from their marriage.

A connection. A passion. A spark she’d only felt with one man.

“Do you miss him?”

She nodded, unable to put it all into words. “Do you?”

“Yeah. Yeah, I do. I hadn’t realized it until I found out he’s gone.” Johnny wiped his mouth with his napkin. “I was too busy being pissed off at him.”

“And you can’t stay mad at a dead man.” She should know. At least, it was impossible to admit it. Even to your oldest, and once upon a time, dearest, friend.

“No. I can’t.”

“Are you still pissed at me?”

“A little.” He looked up at her. Gave her an honest half-smile. Broke her heart just a little.

“And yet, you’re here.” She swallowed, even though she hadn’t been able to eat very much.

“My boss asked me to do this.” Johnny shifted in his chair, making the metal groan. Making her all too aware of his size. His strength. His power. “I’m the new guy on the team. I can’t very well tell him no.”

“So that’s the only reason you’re here? Sucking up to your new boss?” She knew better. Johnny didn’t suck up to anyone. He might deflect attention away from himself, but he didn’t suck up. He stood up for his teammates. Gave them more credit than they might deserve. But it wasn’t because he wanted something for himself.

“I think you’ve got a good program.” Johnny lifted his gaze to meet hers. “You can make a big difference for some of these kids. It’s important. And I’d like to be a part of that.”

“Thank you.” For the praise of her program. For wanting to help. For not letting their history get in the way of doing a good thing.

The conversation was getting a little too personal, so she was grateful when the waitress came by to refill their iced tea. They finished their meals, while Johnny looked over the packet she’d created for him. He asked a few questions about the camp, and she did her best to fill him in on the details that would help him feel as confident teaching his game as he was playing it.

“Thanks for going over this with me. It helps to have a game plan.” Johnny reached for the bill.

“I’ve got it. It’s foundation business. Let me take care of it.”

“No. I can actually afford to pay for lunch.” Johnny gave her a teasing grin. They’d both struggled financially in college. It led to some very creative dates. Or letting Mel tag along, more often than not, since he’d been the only one of the three of them who could afford luxuries such as pizza and hot wings.

“I’m sure you can.”

“Oh, yeah. I’m loaded. You should have held out for my millions.” Johnny leaned forward, a teasing glint in his eyes. “Do you know what they’re paying me?”

Yeah. She knew. And she also knew it was less than he’d have been offered almost anywhere else. Just for the chance at chasing a World Series title. Or did he have other reasons to come to San Francisco?

No. Of course not. He’d thought she and Mel were still married when he’d signed the contract. He’d given up probably a few million dollars to come here. And long-term security. It had nothing to do with his feelings for her.

“Do you think I married Mel for his money?”

“I gave up a long time ago trying to figure out why you chose him over me.” He said it casually, as if it didn’t matter to him. But it did. She didn’t miss the underlying hurt. The bewilderment. And the barely contained anger.

“I didn’t choose him over you.” She leaned back into her chair. As if the extra few feet could lessen the blow. “It just happened. We were both missing you. And...”

He looked at her. Searching her face for some part of it to make sense.

“I got pregnant.”

She waited for him to ask for more details. To ask the one question she hadn’t been able to answer. Hadn’t wanted to know for sure. Not when she’d needed to make a quick decision. One that would change her life forever, but hopefully wouldn’t ruin Johnny’s.

“Look, Ali, I’m sorry…” He tossed a couple of bills on the table.

“Don’t worry about it.” She folded her wallet and put it back in her purse. “But I’m not your Ali. Not anymore.”

“I guess you’d prefer Mrs. Harrison.” His words were neutral. His tone was not. He was pissed at her. Extremely pissed.

“Excuse me.” She shoved her chair back and headed for the ladies’ room. She’d hurt him. And neither one of them had forgiven her for it.

* * * *

Johnny followed Alice to the ladies’ room. Why couldn’t he be the calm, cool, always-in-control guy he was on the mound?

Because this was Ali. She’d always made him a little crazy. She had a way of lighting him up like post-game fireworks on opening night. She still did. Even though she’d moved on. Had a life without him. She even had a kid.

But that didn’t stop him from wanting her. From missing her. Even more now that he knew she was no longer married.