Better Not Love Me (2 page)

Chapter 2

Amelia awoke to a car door slamming shut.

"Don't let us disturb you ma'am," Amy said, entering the courtyard. "We're just admiring your mansion and the nice bikini body you’ve got."

"Very funny," she said.

Amy placed her suitcase on the ground and gave her sister a big hug.

"I'm so glad you're here," Amelia said.

"Me too, but it would have been nice if you could have booked a larger house for us," she said waving toward the cabin. "I mean, this place is tiny."

"Just for that, I think I'll put you in the servant's quarters," Amelia replied.

"There's a servant's quarters? Wow."

Amelia looked at her plainly.

"No. I was just kidding."

Priscilla joined the two women as they walked through the oversized oak and iron door and into the cabin.

"Amy, you're in the master bedroom on the second floor. Priscilla, you're just down the hall here, to the right."

Priscilla had white earbuds in her ears and didn’t even acknowledge her aunt, but turned and walked toward the bedroom with her suitcase.

"Just ignore her," Amy said. "She's in a mood. Been that way all summer."

"We get those moods in our house too," Amelia said. "Were you and I ever like that growing up?"

"Are you kidding? We were worse!"

"Agreed," Amelia said. "We were. And it didn't help that mom named us similar sounding
Am
names so when she yelled at us we couldn't tell the difference."

"Very true," Amy said, strolling across the living room floor to take it all in. "You don't have to give me the master bedroom."

"Oh, don't worry. This place has two of them."

"Really?" Amy asked.

"That OK?" Amelia offered.

"Yes, of course," Amy said. "Is it noon yet? I could use a glass of wine."

"You're in luck; it's 12:30 and I've got a wonderful bottle of Cabernet Sauvignon I've been waiting to open. I had it shipped from the Napa Valley last spring. We had some business meetings at this cute little vineyard there and had a private tasting."

"I'm good with Two Buck Chuck from Trader Joe's."

"This is a little step up from Two Buck Chuck," Amelia said.

"It seems your tastes have become as exclusive as your cabins, little sis," Amy said as the sisters took two seats on the deck overlooking the cove.

"Oh please I'm still the same girl you bossed around the Main Street Diner back home in Bonners Ferry."

"That girl never lived in a mansion or ran a company," Amy retorted.

"It's a summer rental and I don't run the company anymore. I never really did; it sort of ran me. But I don't want to talk about that. Tell me about you and the kids."

Amy explained that the diner she owned was doing fairly well. She had hired a manager and was focusing on catering. She was hesitant to share much of the details, and it seemed to Amelia that her sister might be ashamed of her small-business success. She hated feeling like she overshadowed her older sister. She looked up to her, always had. Her accomplishments were great and Amelia was proud of her.

"Oh, the diner is nothing like what you've done though," Amy said.

"You're the hardest working woman I know," Amelia said. "Don't diminish what you've accomplished. Remember, we came from nothing and you own your own business. Everything I learned, I learned from you."

"I'm not diminishing it," she said. "It's just. I don't know. You're here in this place and I'm still living in mom's old house."

"It's not that simple and you know it."

When their mother died, Amy had taken over the mortgage payments on their childhood home. Back then the sisters and all four of their children lived in the house together. They worked in the diner and looked after each other and the kids. Amy wanted to build something lasting in Bonners Ferry, but Amelia just wanted out of the small town.

Her ex, Josh had been her means of escape from Bonners Ferry. Josh was great with the kids, but neither she nor Josh felt the love for the other as they should—or at least that's how Amelia felt. Josh and his emotional state had always been a mystery to her. They had been together, on and off, for so long that she thought by now she could read him like a book; but that was not the case. She was baffled by her ex while still feeling an enormous pull toward everything about the man, even as he did things that should signal to most people that it was time to move on.

So when they decided to split after only two years as a married couple, it officially ended a 20-year relationship. Technically they were still in a relationship, or rather an arrangement, because of the kids. That gave Amelia a painful hope in her heart. Josh was a man she rarely saw and knew little of his life away from her. Of course she knew he lived in Spokane, where they shared custody of the kids. Thankfully he stayed around for them. And she knew he worked at a local utility company. But as to how he spent his time? She had no idea. Her knowledge of Josh was gleaned from prodding the children, which she knew was out-of-bounds for even the most well-adjusted kids. Because of her work schedule at the company, Josh had them a majority of the time. That was part of the reason this summer was so important. She got them all to herself. No Josh.

She hoped to talk about the Josh situation this summer with Amy. She was the motherly figure who raised her. And she felt tremendous respect for her opinion—most of the time.

"Let's make each other a promise," Amelia said, raising her wine glass. "People don't often get opportunities like this. To spend real quality time together with no worries or commitments other than what wine we're going to drink or what we're going to grill for dinner. Let’s take this summer and enjoy it. Forget everything else."

"That sounds like a good plan, but I think we need to buy some Two Buck Chuck," Amy said, with a sour look on her face. "Because this fancy wine of yours is terrible."

"Good, I thought it was just me," Amelia said, laughing.

* * *

Amelia stood on the deck and flipped the burgers on the grill, enjoying the smoke from the meat drifting into her nose. She'd seasoned the ground beef with basil and diced peppers, a trick she'd learned to give a plain old burger a gourmet flavor. The kids were due back any minute for dinner. Amy had set the table and was placing several salads and side dishes out for the meal. It was way more food than the family could eat, but that just meant they would have leftovers for a few days.

The door to the deck opened and out wandered Marcus and Susanna.

"Hey, Aunt Amy," Marcus said.

She hugged him, but then pulled back and touched his face.

"What happened to you?" she asked. Examining his puffy right eye, as Amelia rushed over to do the same.

Susanna replied on his behalf.

"He got into a fight," Susanna said.

"Would you shut up about it?" he snapped at her. "It wasn't a big deal."

Now he had his mom's full attention too.

"So getting into a fight isn't a big deal?" she asked.

"I got elbowed while we were playing basketball. It's no big deal. I didn't get into a fight. Susanna wasn't even there."

"I know what I saw," she said.

"Just shut up already," he spat the words at her.

"OK, let’s take it down a notch," Amelia said. "Marcus, you don’t need to talk to your sister that way and don't think you're going to get out of fully explaining what happened. Right now, let's just get some ice on there so it doesn't swell more."

"I didn't get into a fight."

"OK, OK," Amelia said, raising her hands in mock surrender. She didn't want to argue. "Go inside and get some ice."

"Fine," he said, then headed for the kitchen followed by his aunt.

Now it was just Amelia and Susanna on the deck.

"What happened?" Amelia asked.

"It was just like before," Susanna recalled. "They were playing pick-up basketball games all day and then all of the sudden someone pushes him to the ground. He got up and bumped chests with the guy. I couldn't hear what they were saying. Then the guy hauls off and punches him in the face."

"For no reason?" she asked.

"I don't know who the guy was. I'm not sure."

Trouble had a way of finding Marcus. He'd been suspended from high school twice for fighting. He'd been on academic probation for skipping classes and now this is the second time he had come back from the park at City Beach with a black eye this summer.

"I think we might need to limit these park visits," Amelia said, knowing this would be an unwelcome change.

"Mom, no," Susanna pleaded. "That means that I can’t go. He's my ride."

"Well, I'd prefer that he come home in one piece and I don’t care if that means he has to stay locked up here all summer."

"That's not fair," Susanna said.

"No, it's not," she said. "Now go tell your cousin that dinner is ready. She's in her room." 

Amelia could tell that she wanted to debate more, but the thought of seeing Priscilla was more important at that moment.

"OK, fine," she said, skipping off the deck, not hiding her excitement at all.

Amelia placed the burgers on a plate and set them on the table. She had hoped that getting Marcus away from his school friends would help curb his troublemaking ways. But now she wasn't sure what would help. And she didn’t want to call Josh to ask for his advice either. That would invite him into the isolation of the summer cabin—a place she did not want Josh to be. Amelia needed to figure out what to do with Marcus on her own.

Chapter 3

Every Fourth of July the City of Coeur d'Alene would host a fireworks display on the lake, shot from a barge anchored near downtown. While the show could be seen from just about anywhere near City Beach, the best place to view it was from the water. Hundreds of boats would sit idle in the deep water to celebrate Independence Day. Amelia had never been on the water during the show, but she was looking forward to doing that this year. She had contacted a local marina and rented a boat for the holiday weekend. She'd planned on surprising the family this morning with the news. They could cruise around the lake and then watch the fireworks from the water with hundreds of other spectators. She was excited and hoped the boating activities would shift the decidedly dreary mood at the cabin.  

For the last few days she received the silent treatment from both Marcus and Susanna after she prohibited them from visiting the park at City Beach for a week. She wasn't sure if this was going to do them any good, but she had to take some sort of action to tell Marcus that getting into fistfights wasn't OK. Susanna was just collateral damage and she moped around the cabin staring at her phone in protest. To make it worse, the cabin didn't have a strong Wi-Fi signal. Susanna compared this travesty to living in an internment camp.

"Yeah, when Japanese-Americans were rounded up and forced into those camps, their biggest complaint was the lack of reliable Wi-Fi," Amelia said to a blank stare from Susanna.

Although in the back of her mind, she was glad that her daughter knew some history and what an internment camp was. Apparently she had learned a little something in school.

This morning she brewed a pot of coffee, poured herself and Amy each a cup and found a spot under the early morning sun.

"It's going to be hot today," Amy said. "In the 90s."

"That sounds good," Amelia said, as a door slammed inside the cabin. "We need to enjoy this weather while we can, it seems like it can turn in minutes around here."

Amelia motioned toward the cabin, indicating that she was referring to the kids and their attitudes. A storm was always brewing.

"So what's the plan for tonight?" Amy asked.

Amelia had not yet told Amy about renting the boat, but it had yet to arrive and she wanted to make sure everything was in order before she shared the news.

"I think we can pull the chairs out on the dock and watch the fireworks from there," she offered.  

"OK," Amy said, but she really didn't sound that interested. She had something else on her mind. "Say, Susanna said something last night when we were playing that board game and I wanted to ask you about it, but I don't want to come off as an intrusive big sister."

"You're about 40 years too late for that."

"You're hilarious," Amy replied. "She mentioned a woman and it sounded like she was Josh's girlfriend or they'd seen each other enough that the kids knew her. I wasn't sure if you knew."

Amelia didn't know that Josh had a new girlfriend. The thought of her ex-husband dating someone made her insides churn. She'd dealt with these emotions before. As far apart as she and Josh were on so many things, Amelia still bristled at the idea of him with someone else. They had been divorced for years, but it still hurt. There was ostensibly no relationship between the two of them aside from the children and the mere fact that they were once married shouldn't change anything. At least she kept telling herself that.

"He's free to date whoever he wishes," Amelia replied.

"It's that easy, huh?"

"What do you mean?" Amelia asked.

"You two have been on again, off again for more than 20 years. And you're perfectly fine with him dating someone?"

"Are you his defender now? That's new."

"Not by a long shot," Amy said. "I just want to make sure that he's actually gone for good. I don't want to see you get hurt again. I know after what happen to Edwin that—"

"I don't want to talk about Edwin," Amelia said. She was curt, but Amy took the opportunity to question her anyway.

"Why? Sorry, Intrusive Big Sister Alert," Amy said. "Why don't you ever want to talk about Edwin?"

Amelia had done her best to not think about Edwin, which had been incredibly hard over the past few years, because her life is what it is today because of him. The good and some of the bad too. He was a wonderful, passionate man. Amelia cared about him deeply. It didn't matter that they had only known each other for a short time. She would always hold him in the highest regard because of what he did for Marcus and Max. But she also blamed herself. If not for her, he would still be alive today.

After he died and she took over the Mr. Z's Toys Spokane location, customers would often ask about Edwin. She tried to put on a brave face, but each question burned her up inside. Her stock answer became, "he was the best," which was only the tip of the iceberg of what she felt for him. She was embarrassed each time she said it. It wasn't nearly enough.

Pastor John Isakson had been her only real outlet to discuss her fears, regrets and hopes about Edwin. The pastor at her church, St. Marks, tried to help her find peace with what happened. Isakson offered her words of encouragement and scriptures to read, but none of it really helped. Edwin's was a life cut too short and there was nothing she could do about now.

"Edwin, was the best," Amelia replied and immediately felt guilty for using her default phrase. "But it was so long ago."

"Well, your experience with men is sorely lacking," Amy said. "And you need to get out there."

"It's not like I'm a virgin. Ask my kids."

"That just sounded all kinds of wrong. Don't ever say that again," Amy said. “Yuck.”

"Oh, don't be dirty."

"I'm just saying that a woman your age needs to snag a live one before it's too late," Amy lectured.

"And you're probably going to say something about how there are plenty of fish in the sea, right? Please continue with your fishing metaphor."

"No, because that would be a lie. There are not plenty of fish in the sea. Ask any woman with a fishing pole. You might get a few bites here and there, but you've got to throw most of them back because they're slimy bottom feeders."

"You paint a pretty picture."

"Pretty realistic. I speak from experience. Trust me," Amy said.

"You've been alone longer than I have," Amelia countered.

"Yeah, and I'm good with it."

"Yet you want to give me dating lessons?"

"Those who cannot do, teach. Sorry little sis."

* * *

By noon Amelia started to worry that the boat wasn't going to show up. She called the marina, but got no answer. A recording said they were closed for the holiday weekend. She hoped that didn’t mean they weren't coming. She also needed to learn how to drive the thing. She was worried she wouldn't have enough time to receive the boating lesson she needed before the family had to leave to get a decent spot on the water.

Her fun surprise was turning into a dud.

"Where's your brother?" Amelia asked Susanna, who was laying on the floor staring at the exposed beams of the cabin's living room.

"The people in the green house moved in today and he was helping them unpack."

"Really?" Amelia said, surprised. Amelia and Susanna moved outside to the far corner of the deck to look up at the green cabin.

There standing on the deck that fronted the elevated cabin was Marcus talking with a girl in a bikini top and white shorts.

"No wonder he helped," Amelia said.

"It's some guy and his daughter," Susanna said.

Marcus noticed his mom and sister staring at them. He pointed down, obviously telling the girl who they were. Then he waved.

"Hi, Mom!" he yelled from the deck. "This is Chloe!"

Marcus and Chloe waved, while Amelia and Susanna waved back.

"She's pretty," Susanna said.

"Yes, I'm sure your brother is in heaven."

The girl was pretty. No doubt.

"Have you seen the dad, yet?" Amelia asked.

"Yeah, but he's not there now. Someone came and picked him up right after they pulled in. That's why Marcus was helping unload because Chloe was there alone."

"That seems odd."

Susanna shrugged her shoulders. Her interest in the conversation had run its course.

Just then Amelia heard the distinct rumble of an outboard motor. Pulling into the cove was a faded blue Bayliner piloted by a man in a red baseball cap.

Finally, Amelia thought, the boat had arrived.

"Who's that?" Susanna asked.

"I don't know, but he's driving the little surprise I got us for the weekend."

"You bought us a boat? Sweet!"

"Hold your horses, it's just a rental. It's going back on Tuesday."

"Oh, man! That would have been cool."

Amelia dashed into the cabin for her sunglasses and hat before walking down the lawn to the beach and dock. The man's back was to her as she traversed the dock. He was securing the boat to a post with a rope.

"It's about time you showed up," Amelia said, firmly, not altogether hiding her displeasure. "I thought you'd be here in the morning. Let's get the lesson started. I have plans for the afternoon."

"Lesson?" the man asked, turning around toward her, "I'm not sure what—"

He stopped talking mid-sentence as he turned, which would seem strange if Amelia hadn't nearly jumped backward into the water when she recognized him, just as he recognized her.

This wasn't her rental. This wasn't a guy from the marina here to give her a tutorial on the boat either.

From behind her on the dock, she heard pounding steps. Chloe was jogging down the dock toward them. She arrived at the man's side with a youthful bounce, quickly followed by Marcus. 

"Daddy, I want you to meet my friend, Marcus," Chloe said.

The man reached out and shook Marcus' hand.

"And you must be Marcus' mom," Chloe said. "Nice to meet you. This is my father, Nate."

Nate Rosen, her former boss.

Amelia didn't say a word, which made the smile on Chloe's pleasant face fade quickly. Marcus looked puzzled too.

"That's my cabin," Nate said timidly, pointing toward the elevated green cabin.

Amelia absentmindedly rubbed her face with her hand and glanced around the dock wondering if she rocked it hard enough, could she flip him into the water?

"Of course it is . . . unbelievable," she said. 

A flood of sour memories, ones she thought were locked away, suddenly washed over her. Her fight-or-flight instinct kicked in. All she could do was turn on her heel and storm off the dock.