Betrayal (The Forever Series) (20 page)

“Everything,” he says shortly. “Destroying you was my last effort, but as it turns out you are as indestructible as you think you are.” He hauls himself to his feet and staggers slowly to the bed. I know how he feels, I think grimly, as I watch him. I won’t offer to help him, as he will just reject me. “You can go away now,” he says as he flops down onto the bed.

“Cade,” I say, standing up myself. “You cannot live like this. You must get healthy.”

“Why do you even care?” he asks bitterly. “I betrayed you.”

“Yeah you did, and I am still here to help you,” I say as I sit gingerly next to him. I am no snob, but eurgh, this place is rank.

“Don’t want help,” he slurs.

I close my eyes and sigh. He is starving himself as well by the sounds of it. “Cade, when was the last time you fed?”

He goes even grayer at my question and turns on his side away from me. “Don’t know,” he says.

Err, what? “Cade, please, you must feed. How can you prefer to be like this than strong and healthy?” I am at a loss. I have no idea how to handle him.

He turns back to me and regards me with unfocused eyes. “I don’t want to drink human blood, Liv.” He enunciates each word so I get the point. “Why don’t you get that?”

“You are a Vampire!” I shriek at him as he gives me a scathing look. “You have to!” Yep that’s pretty much all I have in my repertoire.
Nice going, idiot
.

“I really don’t,” he replies and turns back onto his side.

“Cade,” I say losing my patience. “This is ridiculous, enough is enough. You are going to drink and you are going to come home with me. Now!” I prod him to make my own point.

“Don’t want to,” he says sullenly. “I am not a
monster, I don’t want to live off people.”

“So just feed from me then,” I say suddenly. If that is his issue, that he doesn’t want to feed from humans, then I will have to do. Can’t say that I am fit enough for it at the moment, but I am just going to have to pull on my big girl panties and deal with it. I see that give him pause and I press the issue. “If you don’t want human blood, then just use me. It can be enough with the proper care, but Cade, you need to come home.”

He turns back to me and says, “You still look like Hell. What is the point in us both feeling like crap? Just forget about me and get yourself strong.”

“
Don’t be a fool,” I say. “This martyr act has gone on long enough. I know you hate what I did to you. I know you hate what you are. I know you hate me, but it’s tough shit. It’s done. Man up!”

He blinks at me. “I don’t hate you,” he says. “I hate what you did, but I don’t hate you. I’m sorry about giving you to Remiel. I was desperate and he told me…”

“I know,” I say and take his hand awkwardly. Oddly enough, he lets me and I take that as a good sign. He closes his eyes and looks a little less haggard. My presence here is already affecting him, but he needs to feed. There is no getting around that. “Will you drink?” I ask him tentatively.

He breathes in deeply. I am sure he is going to refuse so I give him no choice. I take my hand out of his and slit my wrist. His nostrils flare as he smells the blood and, hoping that I am no longer poisonous, I place it to his lips. Fortunately I am also slow to heal as he doesn’t accept it at first, but then he grabs it and with a noise of revulsion he starts sucking. I can feel it affecting me, but I don’t push him away. He needs this more than I do.
I have half a dozen people who will take care of me. He has no one else to look after him. Only me. His color starts to come back and he no longer looks like he is at death’s door. He must feel the change go over him as he suddenly shoves my wrist away and wipes his mouth with his hand.

“We can do this,” I say to him. “I will take care of you.” I stroke his face and he turns into me content. It lasts all of about a second before he sits up and shies away from me. I snatch my hand back as he glares at it and I wonder what I did wrong.

“Don’t touch me like that,” he says fiercely. “Don’t ever touch me like that again.”

I bunch my hands into tight fists in my lap, my cheeks flaming in humiliation. I have been rejected plenty in my time, but never quite so vehemently and by my own charge no less. “Sorry,” I mumble, but I don’t know what I am apologizing for. I didn’t mean it in the way that he obviously thinks I did. It’s not like that. I don’t have feelings for
him, I just want to look after him.

“I can’t do this,” he says as he turns from me again. He is slipping away and I curse myself.

“Yes, you can. Cade, I won’t touch you like that again, but you need some contact with me. You are in bad shape,” I tell him. He isn’t convinced, so with cheeks burning brighter than the fires of Hell I add, “I don’t feel have feelings of desire for you, Cade. I don’t want you like that. Please, understand that.”

“Isn’t that how you are supposed to feel about those you turn?” he chokes out.

I shake my head. “No, not all the time,” I say.

“You lie,” he accuses. “I see how you are with Devon and
Cole, you can’t keep your hands off them.”

“Because I love them,” I say simply. “I was in love with them before I turned them. Do you understand the difference?”

“I-I don’t know,” he says sadly. “I don’t know anything anymore.”

“We will figure this out, Cade. We do not have to be together in that way just because we are tied to one another. But you need to be close to me, even if it is just like this,” I say, indicating the wide open space in between us so he has a visual.

He stares at the space for the longest time and then he scoots a bit closer to me. “Why does it feel this way?” he asks. “Why do just a few centimeters make so much difference?”

“Because my blood is running through your veins.
It calls to me,” I say, hoping that this explanation doesn’t freak him out again. “The longer the time, the less the need to be near me,” I add quickly.

“How long?” he asks.

“I don’t know,” I say. “It’s different for everyone, dependent on the bond.”

“Oh,” he says. “So it will be less time for me than Cole?”

“Probably,” I say as I have no idea, but want to reassure him.

He nods and uncertainly reaches for my hand. I let him hold it loosely and he sighs. “I don’t know what to do about these feelings that I have for you,” he says with his eyes closed.

I am quite glad that he wasn’t looking at me as he said it. There has been enough shame for one day.

“Do you love me?” I ask, hoping I am right in thinking that is a resounding “no.”

His eyes fly open at that question and he shakes his head. “No!”

“Then you do nothing. They will go away on their own.”

“When?” he asks desperately.

Ah crap. I have no fucking idea. I shrug and he huffs in exasperation. “So will you come home with me?” I ask.

“Will you do as you said before?” he replies. “Just you?”

I nod. “Yes, of course,” I say immediately. We have turned a corner here and I don’t want to do anything to jeopardize our shaky foundation. I will just have to try and limit his feedings as much as possible for now.

“Fine,” he says. “What do I do about them?” He tilts his head towards the other room, where I had practically forgotten four eavesdropping toads are waiting for me.

“I’ll talk to them,” I say. “It’ll be okay.” I pat his hand and then he lets me go. I get up and open the door where, as expected, they are all hovering, every word we said overheard. “You can go now,” I say to them. “Leave us a car and we will drive back.”

“Liv,” Cole says, but I shake my head at him.

“Just go,” I say and CK grabs his arm. Lincoln throws me his keys and takes CK’s other arm and without another word they go, looking as pissed off as two Vampires and a Werewolf can be.

Devon just stands there with his arms crossed. “I’m not leaving you alone with him,” he says. “I don’t trust him.”

“Dev,
it’s fine. Go home. I will see you shortly,” I say and open my arms for him to hug me. He does and he holds me close.

“Please be careful,” he whispers. “I couldn’t bear it if anything happened to you again.”

“I will, don’t worry,” I say.

He lets me go and yells at Cade, “If even one hair on her head is damaged when she gets back, I will make you suffer in ways that you can’t even imagine, before I kill you.”

“Dev,” I warn him and he scowls at me before he leaves us.

I turn back to Cade. He is sitting on the bed with his feet planted on the floor and his head in his hands. I sit quietly next to him, waiting for him to say something first. When he doesn’t, I realize I am going to have to say something about going away tomorrow.

“Erm, I know this is epically bad timing, but I have something that I have to take care of and I won’t be around for about a day,” I say.

He looks up at me and I see just the barest hint of the old Cade in his eyes. “When did you ever have good timing?” he asks.

I chuckle and say, “Probably never. My point is that now that you are back with me, if I leave you again I don’t want you to go downhill again.”

“So are you saying you want me to come with you?” he asks.

Oh crap, no. That is bad idea that makes me shudder. “No, you can’t I’m afraid. I am going to be with my mother.”

“Then what?” he asks.

Good point. What am I trying to say here? I take a breath and bite the bullet. “I guess what I am trying to say is that I should give you something more today, something to get you back on track and keep you from sliding while I am gone.”

He looks at me as if I have grown another head and says, “No! No, that won’t be necessary. I will be fine until you return.”

I should just accept that, but I know he will be worse off for being with me and then me leaving again so soon. I am setting myself up for the rejection of my lifetime, either that or the biggest mistake I will ever make, but it doesn’t stop me from crawling into his lap. He leans away from me, but doesn’t push me off. He looks confused and conflicted about what to do. I link my hands around the back of his neck and say to him. “Just take as much from me as you feel able.”

He thinks about it for a long time before he does what he needs to do.

About an hour later we are in the car and driving home. We are both silent, lost in our own thoughts. He has his hand in mine and we sit like that for the entire ride. As we near home I say to him, “Will you come back to work? You know, when you are ready?”

He looks at me in surprise. “You want me to?” he asks.

“Yeah,” I say. I think it will be the best thing for him to get back to as close to normal as possible.

“You trust me?” he smirks at me and I laugh in surprise. We are really close to the banter we used to share.

“Well, in spite of your bad choices, yes I do,” I say.

“Humph,” he says. “I always knew you were a fool.”

“Oh?” I say archly. “Do you plan on betraying me again? I am not so sure you could top last quarter’s performance.”

His hand tightens on mine and I squeeze it back to show him I mean no harm, but we can’t dodge around this subject.

“No,” he says softly. “Never again. You can trust me.”

I nod briskly and say, “Well, will you then?”

He deliberates and then says, much to my amusement, “What, now that I am your charge, I don’t get to sit around in a life of luxury?”

I snicker at him because even if I offered him that life, he would refuse it point blank. It is just not his style. “Nope,” I say. “You have a lot of making up to do. Lifetimes,” I add with a little smirk.

He glares at me. “Yes, lifetimes,” he repeats glumly.

I bite my lip, cursing myself for reminding him precisely what I was trying to avoid in this moment. “Cade,” I say, but he sighs.

“It’s okay. We can’t skirt around this issue anymore. My name is Cade and I am a Vampire,” he says with a sidelong look at me. “Yes, I will come back to work.”

“Yay,” I exclaim quietly. “When do you think that will be?”

“Eager, much?” he says.

Actually I am eager.
Eager for him to return to normal, but also eager because I have a project that I need him to get on as soon as possible. I was going to ask Nico, but this would be so much better.

“What do you want me to do?” he asks, reading my thoughts.

“There is something of the utmost secrecy that I need you to do. It is highly sensitive and, well, to be honest, it is downright intrusive, but I just need to know,” I say.

I have piqued his natural interest in all things covert and he forgets about everything else as he pulls off the road and turns to me with a concentrated look. “What is it?”

“No one can know. You are the only one who can know about this,” I say, getting worried now and wanting to take it all back.

“Liv,” he says and sighs. “I really don’t want to get swept up in all of your drama again. I will come back to work, but this time there are going to be massive boundaries. I already have a list.”