Betrayal: Reckless Desires (Dark Wolves Book 2) (5 page)

“So talk.”

If only it were that easy. She took a fortifying breath. Whatever happened, she’d be okay. She didn’t want to leave the Komoro village, but one thing she’d learned having survived the horror of her past was that she was resilient. If she had to make a life for herself elsewhere, she would. She didn’t want to, but she could do it.

Untangling herself from his body, Amalija sat up and scooted off the bed. She couldn’t lay in his arms. She needed to look the man in the eye and convince him that she wasn’t like them. He’d believe her. She hoped.

Crossing over to her dresser, she grabbed a T-shirt and pulled it over her head. Her leg was sore but no more than if she had done some crazy exercise routine and had the muscle ache to prove it. One more day, and it would be good as new.

“I’m not sure where to start,” she said as Wesken sat up. “There are things I need to say, and I’m not sure how you’ll react. I hope you can keep an open mind about it.”

“Listen, I’m going to make this easy for both of us,” he said as he stood and ran his fingers through his hair, making it stand on end.

She couldn’t help but take all of him in. How was she supposed to think, much less talk, when he stood there looking so sexy her body ached? When she brought her gaze back up, his eyes glittered, almost black. Cold. His jaw was set, and a muscle jumped as he clamped his teeth.

“I’m not your mate, Amalija,” he blurted out.

Her heart skidded to a halt. Of all things, she hadn’t expected that. “What do you mean?” Of course, he was her mate. Her wolf knew it. She knew it. There wasn’t a doubt in her mind that he was hers.

“I’ve been mated before.”

The words hung heavy between them. Her breath caught in her lungs. “I don’t understand.”

“I should have said something sooner. I didn’t mean for this to happen,” he said as he swept a hand toward the bed.

She opened her mouth to say something, but what could she say to that? He’d been mated before? Most wolf shifters mated once. For life.

“Where is she?” she finally managed to ask.

“She’s dead,” he told her as he stalked toward the door. He didn’t look at her again. He didn’t say another word. He just walked out, leaving her reeling.

***

The hurt in Amalija’s eyes had stabbed straight through him. He should have softened the blow a little, but he didn’t do soft. Hell, the word wasn’t even in his vocabulary. If the Dark Lands had shown him anything at all, it was that anything tender couldn’t be trusted. So why was his wolf growling at him and his own heart aching with the squeeze seeing her pain had caused? There was no point in letting her think they had a future when they had none.

Doesn’t mean you had to be an ass about it
, his wolf grumbled into his mind.
Besides, you’re wrong
.

Shut up.
The damned wolf had been pushing him toward Amalija from the moment they’d been introduced, back when his pack had merged with hers months before. He’d managed to stay away from her all that time, but how the hell was he going to do that now? With her scent branded into his skin and the desire he’d shoved aside until now raging inside him, it was all he could do to walk away instead of taking her back to her bed and losing himself in her body again.

The truth was, seeing Amalija mauled by the enemy, smelling her blood, and seeing it seep into the ground had unlocked something inside him. He’d needed to connect with her. Assure himself, and his wolf, that she was okay. He’d needed the physical contact with her as much as she’d needed his protection as she came down from the shock of the battle. He’d never felt that particular need with anyone else. Not even Kendra, and he’d seen her injured many times over. Though the fact that his emotions hadn’t been fully restored until after she’d died probably had more to do with that than anything else.

With a grunt, he shook his head. It didn’t matter. None of it did. Amalija wasn’t his mate. Worrying or even thinking about it was useless.

Amalija stood there, stunned. He was wrong. He had to be. Maybe he was the rare exception to the rule and was gifted with two mates. She wouldn’t lie to herself and pretend the fact that there was another before her didn’t hurt. A lot. She wanted to be his one and only, as he was hers, but no amount of wishing could change the past. She, of all people, knew that. But to hear him say that he wasn’t her mate… The fact that she knew it to be a lie made it that much worse. Why deny her? Did he already know about her heritage? Had they somehow figured it out? Maybe he didn’t want to saddle himself with a Mahehkan mate.

No, that couldn’t be it. Considering that the Alpha and his brother wanted to wage a war against the Mahehkans, they would have come to her and gathered all the information they could from her. They were smart men. They wouldn’t go into a mission blind if they had the choice. Her heart stuttered. She hadn’t missed Orrin shifting to his wolf form to follow the male they had released. He had no information. Shit.

She had to tell them what she knew. If they went to the Mahehkan camp and someone got hurt or killed because she hadn’t told them what she knew, she’d never forgive herself.

As much as she hated to do it, she had to get back out there. Knowing that the enemy had made it so close to the village without detection made her more than a little nervous. If she were lucky, the wolves would have been the only three in the area, and she could complete her mission without anyone being the wiser. James depended on her, and more importantly, Roxie did. She deserved freedom from pain and fear, a life away from the Mahehkans.

She showered and dressed in record time. If she wanted to go into the forest and be back before nightfall, she had to get going. With a fresh bundle of dried meat added to the pack, she wrapped it up and headed out.

Amalija made her way to the edge of the village without spotting a soul. If she had to guess, she’d say everyone was in the village center getting information, formulating a plan. No one had expected an attack so close to the village. The Omegas would need reassurance that they were safe, and the Betas would expect direction from the Alpha. Only those patrolling wouldn’t be present.

She didn’t let her guard down, not for one second, the whole way to the drop-off spot. Even then, she hid in the shadows until she was certain no one had followed and no one lay in wait. Nothing stirred as she climbed the tree and deposited her bundle in the hollow, then blocked it with the piece of wood wedged tight to keep other animals from getting to it before James or one of his men could retrieve it.

She avoided the village center again. Although she’d been gone for over two hours and the meeting would have ended long ago, she wasn’t taking chances. She picked up her pace as she rounded the corner of her street and slammed straight into a hard chest. Arms, thick and strong, reached out, steadying her when she would have fallen back.

“Where were you? I didn’t see you at the meeting this evening,” Wesken asked.

“I went for a walk. Alone.” She didn’t owe him an explanation, and he didn’t deserve one, but she gave it anyway.

“Outside of the village?”

“I’m back. And nothing happened,” she snapped. If he wanted to deny her, then at least he could have the decency of not pretending to care more than he did. She didn’t need the macho bullshit.

He grunted and released a frustrated sigh. “I’m responsible for the safety of each and every pack mate. That includes you. If you’re going to leave the village, I expect to be notified,” he said through clenched teeth.

“I
expected
a lot of things, but we don’t always get what we want, now do we?” she said with more bite than she’d intended. Okay, so maybe she was a little bitter about his rejection, but she’d had a rough day. Her leg ached more than ever after her fast hike through the woods. She tried to get past him, but he moved to intercept her.

“I didn’t mean to hurt you, Amalija,” he said in a voice so low she barely heard.

Honesty—and a little pain—rang with every word, but she wasn’t ready to hear it. Tomorrow she’d figure out what was going on in that head of his. She might even come up with a plan to make him see what she saw so clearly. But tonight, all she wanted was to run herself a hot bath and maybe do a bit of reading before she went to sleep. “If you’ll excuse me, I’m going home.”

For two days, Wesken accompanied Amalija and some of the other women to the gardens as they worked to restore the damage the Mahehkans had done. He helped when he could and stood guard when he couldn’t. Yet in all that time, Amalija had yet to speak a single word to him. She hardly spoke at all, much less smiled or laughed. Okay, so he hadn’t handled the situation well. If he could take it back, he would. Not because it was any less true, but his wolf was right—he could have been kinder.

So when she came to him on the third day, offering to share her lunch with him, he agreed. Maybe if he apologized again, she would stop frowning and smile again—if not in his direction, then at someone else.

“The work in the garden is done for now. I was hoping to take my lunch by the lake today,” she said as Beth, Jinnie, and a few others filed out of the garden with Blade, his pack brother and the one assigned to keep the women safe, following.

Being alone with her wasn’t a good idea. Having her standing next to him with her scent teasing his senses had his wolf rousing and at attention. It was on the tip of his tongue that he’d get one of the other men to accompany her, but the words wouldn’t come. The thought of one of them being alone with her was enough to have the fine hairs on the back of his neck standing on end and a growl vibrating in his chest. “I’ll accompany you.”

***

Amalija gave Wesken a small nod and headed east. It was a little farther, but the privacy she needed to put her plan into action couldn’t be found at one of the nearer lakes on such a hot day.

Neither spoke for a long while. Maybe he was waiting for her to say something, but she was happy to keep quiet until they reached their destination. She’d spent the past couple of days vacillating between angry and hurt over his rejection, but at some point during the night, as she’d struggled to fall asleep, she’d made her decision. She wasn’t giving up. Not on him. Not on her life in the Komoro pack. Not on herself. She deserved to be happy, damn it, and if she had to fight for it every step of the way, she would.

The first step was telling him she was Mahehkan. She’d make him listen. Make him understand why she was with the Komoro pack. Protective as he was, he’d never begrudge her for leaving her pack and seeking refuge elsewhere. With Wesken on her side, she could plead her case to the Alpha and beg them to let her stay. She’d been nothing if not loyal to her new pack. She worked hard and helped others when she could. They would see that.

Then, she’d have to convince Wesken he was hers. If it took a while for him to come to terms with them being mates, so be it. She’d wait for him. Not that she didn’t intend to use every bit of the attraction between them to her full advantage, but she wouldn’t push for more than he was willing to give.

“What’s going on in that mind of yours, Amalija?” he asked.

She hadn’t realized she was smiling until he’d spoken. “It’s a beautiful day. The garden is coming along well, and I’m going to one of my favorite places for lunch.” She didn’t add that his presence was the main reason. He wasn’t ready to hear that. “Thank you for coming with me.”

He gave her a small nod. “I’m glad you’ve taken my advice seriously and aren’t going into the forest unaccompanied anymore.”

The independent woman inside her bristled at the comment, but the last thing she wanted to do was argue, so she let it slide. Besides, as a mate, she could understand. He’d want to protect her above all others, and knowing she was taking risks would make his inner beast more than a little edgy. Of course, he still denied being her mate, but saying the words didn’t make them true. She reached out and placed her hand on his arm. “I know protecting us all is a heavy task. I won’t make it more difficult for you.”

The moment her hand touched Wesken’s skin, the warm tingles she’d come to expect when in contact with him rushed over her.
Delicious.
Every part of her wanted it—craved it—but she could wait a while longer. She released him with a smile.

Wesken grunted and scrubbed his hand over his jaw as he looked over his shoulder.

“We’re almost there. Come on,” she said as she started walking again. No way in hell was she letting him change his mind.

When they arrived at the secluded beach, she took the basket from his hands and pulled out a blanket, laying it down for them to sit on. The lunch she’d packed would appeal to him: dried meats to satisfy the wolf, sweet fruit preserves and fresh bread for the man—she’d noticed he enjoyed them at the few public functions they’d both attended—and some bottled water.

She looked up at him still standing next to the blanket. “Aren’t you hungry?”

He gave her an odd look but then sat next to her. “Did you plan all this?”

“Of course,” she said as she smiled at him. “Help yourself.”

Surprisingly, he went straight for the bread and broke a piece off. He slathered it with the fruit preserve, then handed it to her.