Betrayal of Cupids (9 page)

Grace

I was running again, and I still didn’t know from what.  The clouds are fuller and the rain is more imminent.  Where is a shelter?  I still hear nothing.  I see the hill up ahead.  I think if I can just make it to the top, I’ll know what is going on.  I’ll know why I’m running.  I’ll know who I’m running from.  I pick up speed, but the same ground stays beneath me.  I watch my feet move faster, bounding off the grass, but I cannot cover any distance.  There’s the molasses again.  I know the more energy I exert the slower I’ll run, but what are my options?  The hill is still before me, but I’m stuck at the base.  I can’t make it up. There’s something I have to do.  I have a job, a task.  What is it?  Why can’t I remember?  Why can’t I climb this hill?

My body is tiring and my mind is racing.  There’s no hope.  There are too many unanswered questions.  I turn to go back, to give up my quest, when a thought pops into my mind.  I can’t run forward.  I’ve established that, but what haven’t I tried?  Backward.  I take a step back, my foot finding the ground of the hill.  Another step brings me higher. Backward, I begin to ascend.  Backward.

I woke with a start at the touch of a hand to my forehead.

“Aunt Kathryn, you’re okay!”  I shot up, wrapping my arms around her.  She was sitting on my bed, waiting for me to wake up.  She was showered and clothed, but most importantly, she was alive.

“I’m fine baby girl.  He didn’t hurt me.”

It was such a relief.  I was sick with worry over what he might have done to her because of me.  After seeing my aunt bound to a chair just to get my attention, I could only pray my rendezvous with Ryan hadn’t put her in more danger.

“So he didn’t…?”

“No, no, no.  I think he was just trying to prove a point.”

“I’m so sorry.”  I squeezed her tighter.  “This is all because of me.”

She pushed away, her voice very stern.  “No, it’s not.  You fell into this situation.  You did nothing wrong.”

Nothing wrong?  I had fallen in love with the son of my father’s arch enemy, the son of the man who had promised to run away with my mother before she was ripped from this world.  I certainly hadn’t done something right.

“But if I hadn’t—”

“You listen to me.  This is not your doing.  This is the fault of a sick psychopath who just happened to set his sights on you, okay?”

I nodded.  There was no arguing with Aunt Kathryn.  She was right.  Sean’s hatred of me might have spanned the past twenty years, but it was only exacerbated by his hatred of Ryan.  The fact that I was in the mix again was just icing on the cake. 

Aunt Kathryn lifted up my chin.  She presented an empathetic smile and took me back into her arms.

“I’m so sorry I couldn’t stop him.”

“No.  There was no way you could have.”

“But…” She broke down.  I squeezed her tighter, letting her know I was there.  I was okay.  “I have never felt so helpless.”

“He wanted you to feel that way.  You understand that, right?  Sean is all about the mind games.”

“What are you talking about?”

I was finally beginning to understand my adversary.

“He called me from your phone.  He wanted me to assume I was safe and then he hit me with that chilling voice of his.  He wanted me to drive for four hours with the worry.  That made me distracted.  Then, he tied you up and put you in the room he killed my mother in.  He knew I wouldn’t be thinking straight and it would give him the upper hand.”

“But then why torture you like that?”

“That was all for you.”

“What?”  She was understandably confused.

“Sean has faced me before; he knows I’m stronger than I look and stronger than people give me credit for, but he knows my weaknesses.  You are one of them.  His little show last night was to guarantee that you would never let me fight him.  He wanted to show you what he’s capable of so you would beg me not to fight back.”

“Well it worked,” she jumped in.

“No.  You can’t let him win.  We can’t let him win.  You have to let me fight.”

“Grace…”

I didn’t want her to finish that thought, for fear she would fall victim to his game.  “What are we going to do?”  I whispered, trying to bend her to my will.

She took a deep breath.  I saw a thought cross her mind, which sparked a new exhilaration in her stance.  “Grace,
we’re
not going to do anything.  You’re going to get out of here.  I’ll speak with Mr. Muscles about finding a safe passage for you away from all of this.  I have a place out in—”

“No.”  This time my voice was stern.  She was not getting it.  “Absolutely not.  I am not leaving you to pick up the pieces after he makes everyone pay for my disappearance.”

“If your father were still alive—”

“Well he’s not, is he?  So no, he can’t tell me what to do anymore.  You can choose to believe it or not, but this all started because of me.  One way or another, it’ll end because of me too.  I’m not fucking around anymore.”

She stared at me, unable to comprehend the change she had just witnessed.  Finally, she nodded.  “Okay.  Okay.” 

I knew she was trying to calm me down, but I was taking it as a win.  That win gave me a blast of excitement.  I could do this.  I was not going to take this invasion lying down.  I would fight.  I was a fucking Brennan.  My family name was synonymous with fear.  Debates were held, books were written, and documentaries were made about my family and the power behind our name.  Who the hell was Sean Cassidy?  I knew what I had to do.

“Where is he?”

“At the clubhouse.”

“Take me there.”

“He gave me strict orders not to let you leave this house.”

“Or what?”

“I don’t know.”

“Well, let’s go find out.”

I jumped out of bed, not at all bothered by what I was about to do.  The shock and grief that had overcome me the night before had turned into a rush of confidence and a thirst for vengeance.  It was surging inside of me.  For the first time, I felt strong.  I felt as though I had a purpose. 

“I don’t have a good feeling about this, Grace.”

“If my father were alive, would he have sat around waiting for Sean to make a drastic move?”

“No, but…”

“I’m not going to sit here and watch as he destroys everything and everyone I love.  I’ve been doing that for too long.”

She sighed.  “Okay.  I’m with you.”

I pulled on a dark pair of jeans and a gray sweatshirt.  I slipped into a pair of black sneakers.  My hair was clasped neatly in a low ponytail, and I tugged a blue knit hat over my ears.

As I moved to step out of my bedroom, I had a sudden thought.  I fished through my nightstand until I came upon a gift my father had given me on my thirteenth birthday: a small bowie knife.  Still in its sheath, I did a quick inspection, and then slid the weapon into my sports bra.  I’d keep it close, just in case.  I took a quick glance at myself in the mirror.  This was a much different Grace than the one I had seen last night. This Grace was ready.

This Grace would be able to beat Sean at his game.

Ryan

The room broke out in hysterics.

“You have to be fucking kidding me!”

“After your Pops bled everything he had into this club?”

“And now with Sean hiding out God only knows where?”

“We’d be sitting ducks.”

Danny leaned over to me.  “Told you they wouldn’t be keen on the idea of going straight.”

I stood.  “Listen up guys.  It was a suggestion: a way of protecting ourselves.  I was trying to offer an option where we could stay bonded in this family of brothers but not have to worry about getting caught, or worse, killed.”

There was another roar from the group.

I really don’t know what I was thinking.  The danger was their reason for being.  They craved anarchy and destruction.  Otherwise, they would’ve decided to join part of the ninety-nine percent of motorcycle clubs that weren’t outlaws.

And they were right: Sean was still out there.  How could me suggesting we turn in our guns solve anything?  It would only get us killed.  It was as if my brain was jumbled.  I couldn’t eat.  I couldn’t sleep.  I couldn’t think straight.  What the fuck, Ryan?  What the hell was I doing trying to preside over an outlaw motorcycle club?  Did I actually believe these guys would follow me?  Their continued laughter was enough to send me packing.  I don’t think anyone would have missed me.

Rocky slammed his fists on the table, quieting everyone around.  “What the fuck, guys?  This is our president.  I don’t care what he says; you treat him with the respect he deserves.”

The mumbles from the crowd continued.  I should’ve been the one to say that.  I should’ve been able to stand up for myself.  Maybe if I truly believed in anything I was doing, I would have.

“You know what, guys?”  I roared over the crowd, shaking my head.  “Not today.  Go home.  Just… go home.”

There were a few nods, a few pleasantries aimed in my direction, but no one argued.  The clubhouse began to clear. 

Rocky stood, tossing his arm over my shoulder and pulling me into the corner.

“How you doing, Ry?”

“Been better.  Thanks for coming to my rescue back there.”

“I shouldn’t have had to do that.  These guys are a bunch of fuckheads sometimes; you know that.”

“Maybe they’re right.”

“No, they’re not right.  They’re messed up.  Everyone loved your Pops.  We’re not handling it well.”

“But they’re not the ones standing in front of a room full of people, attempting to offer guidance.”

“I think you’re still worked up, and I think you’re still going to be worked up for a while.  Maybe you should take some time…”

“Absolutely not,” I interrupted him.

“No one envies what you’re going through.”

“I’m fine.”

“And until you can admit that you’re not, you’re going to continue proposing absurdities like that one.  And I wouldn’t have said that had I not known you were thinking it at this exact moment.”

While I didn’t want to admit it, I knew he was right.  A week ago, I never would have stood in front of these guys, begging for a change. 

“Ryan, go for a ride.  Clear your head.  We won’t get into too much trouble while you’re away.”

“I can’t leave.  Not while he’s out there.”

“We can handle it.”

“It’s not about the club.  He has nothing against you.  It’s me he’s vowed to ruin, Rock.  And if it means killing any one of you, he’ll do it.  I can’t sit idly by and let that happen.”

“And you also can’t fight with these unhealed gashes in your chest.  We need you to lay low.  We need you to stay alive.  For the club.”

I kicked my steel-toed boot against the wall.  It was the exact advice I’d give someone else, but for me, it wouldn’t cut it.  Something deep within me knew I wouldn’t be satisfied until I was sure Sean was gone from our lives forever.

I gave Rocky a hug, promising I would take a few days to myself, and made my way to Danny, who was leaning up against the doorframe.

“So what now, Cassidy?”

It was odd to be called ‘Cassidy’; everyone reserved that name for my Pops.  While my first instinct was to correct him, I stopped myself: honestly, I kind of liked it.  But did I really deserve it?

“Now we go find Sean.”

“So taking time off…?”

“Not until he’s dead.”  As I said the words, I started to feel like myself again.  I started to feel like the kid who idolized his father’s lifestyle and couldn’t wait to be a part of it.  I was excited for the chase.  I was excited for the respect.  I was ready to kill.

The power rushing through my body as I heard my own threat was something beyond words.  I was preparing to end someone’s life.  I was going to take pride in it.

Was this who I really was?  Had I just been fighting my true nature?

“Okay, man, let’s do it.”  His tone was comforting and confident as he patted me on the shoulder.  “Where should we start?”

I guess I would answer my own question when I had finally put an end to this whole ordeal.

“Alexandria.”

Grace

I swung open the front door, running directly into Mr. Muscles.

“You’re okay!”  He seemed shocked to see me, so much so that he scooped me up in his arms, crushing me into a bear hug.

“Can’t breathe,” I mustered, even though my mouth was buried in his chest.

He set me down carefully.  “I’m so sorry.  I just thought… well, I don’t know what I thought, but I’m glad you’re okay.”

I cocked my head to the side, trying to figure him out.  No luck.  “Thanks for the sentiment, but I have to go.”

“No.”  He stopped me.

“Fuck this.  You can’t be serious?  I thought you were on my side.”

“I am, as long as it means you’re safe.  I thought I made myself clear: my job is to protect you.”

I was fed up.  Had he not realized the transformation I had gone through to get to this point?  I rose to my tiptoes and got as close to his face as my mere sixty-four inches would allow.  “Then who is protecting you?”

“Okay.  Okay.”  Aunt Kathryn stepped in between us.  “This isn’t doing anyone any good.  Muscles, we’re heading to the club.  Would you like to accompany us?” 

“Why there?”

I jumped back in again, feeling a bout of rage rising in my chest.  “That part you don’t need to know.”  I ducked under his outstretched arm and continued walking down the porch stairs.  “We’re offering for you to escort us.  Take it or leave it.”

I was sure Mr. Muscles and Aunt Kathryn exchanged some sort of worried glance, but I refused to turn around.  I was on a mission and nothing, not even a man twice my size, would be able to stop me.

As we all piled into the car, Mr. Muscles handed me a letter.  I quizzically looked at the paper, then at him.

“I found it on the tire swing.”

Ryan must have left it.  “Did you read it?”

“No.  I’m not here to invade your privacy.”

No matter how much I wanted to hate him, the man wasn’t all that terrible.  It made me feel a little bad that I had snuck out without his knowledge.  I must have made him feel like a complete failure.

I turned the paper over in my hands, debating whether I should read it now or save it for later.  After a good thirty turns in my palm, I chose the latter.  I didn’t want anything Ryan might say to cause me to rethink my attack.  I was still dangling, and I couldn’t give myself the option of swinging back to safety.  I shoved the paper into my pocket and rested my head against the window.  The car roared to life, and we began to pull out of the driveway.  While my stomach still sank at the initial rumble of the engine, my reaction was much more subdued.  It was a start.  One day, I would look back at this whole affliction and see it as nothing more than a dreadful nightmare.

It was another quiet ride to the club.  Mr. Muscles was driving, Aunt Kathryn was blankly staring out the window, and I was working on my plan.  I couldn’t wait to see the look on Sean’s face when I walked into the club, especially after he had made such a point of trying to scare me into a frozen state.  He wanted me to stay home until he was ready for me to convince the club of his loyalty.  Well fuck you, Sean Cassidy.  The tables were turning.  Things would be done on my terms now.

A rush of energy and excitement spilled through my veins as we pulled into the gravel parking lot.  I pushed the door open even before the car settled into park.

“Grace, what’s the rush?”  Mr. Muscles called after me as he slammed the door behind him.

I turned, prepared to answer him, when I noticed Aunt Kathryn had yet to move from the car.  Everything came crashing to a halt.  “Hold this.”  I blindly handed my phone and bag to Mr. Muscles, slid past my bodyguard, and climbed back into the car with Aunt Kathryn.  She was pale and immobile.

“Hey.” I placed my hand on hers, warming her icy skin.  “Let’s take a second.”

She turned to me, offering up a worried smile.  “What are you really doing, Gracie?”

If I stopped to ask myself that question, I might not be able to continue on my high.  “I’m taking my life back.  You understand that, right?”

“I want to.  I really want to be able to understand that, but I can’t stop thinking that there has to be another way.  This man, Grace, he’s too much.  You can’t take him on by yourself.”

“I have something he wants.  He might seem powerful, but I have the upper hand.  I’ve been letting him threaten me, but now it’s my turn to threaten him.”

“But aren’t you losing yourself in the process?”

Her question struck a nerve.  “What do you mean?”

“This is not you.  This has never been you.”  She took my face in her hands.  “When you were in sixth grade, do you remember those older girls who picked on you?”

“Jessica, Ashley, and Claire.”

“Do you remember how you handled it?  Your dad told you to exact your revenge.”

“Ha,” I laughed, remembering the exact conversation.

“Hey Dad…”

“What is it, Gracie?”  He sat behind his big wooden desk, sorting through paperwork.

“Am I evil?”

“How could you ever be evil?”  He stood.  I had caught his attention and he was trying to gauge where I was going with my question.

“Jessica, Ashley, and Claire said that my red hair means I’m evil.”

“Oh did they?”

I nodded.

“Well, you know what we do to those kind of girls?”

“And did you?” Aunt Kathryn interrupted my memory.

“I read them facts about red hair that I had found at the library.”

“Exactly.”

“But Aunt Kathryn, that solved nothing.”

“Did they ever bother you again?”

“No, because Dad made a prospect sneak up on them at recess, and he cut their hair off.”

“Oh God, really?”

“Yes!  I have been playing nice too long.  It’s time I take matters into my own hands.  You know, I may not have always agreed with Dad’s tactics, but man, when push came to shove, he got things done.  I need this to be over, so just this once, I’m taking a page out of his book.”

She slowly positioned herself over the center console and wrapped her arms around me.  “Your father would be so proud.”

“You mean, he’d be really mad?”  I laughed cautiously.

The tension broke, and she joined in my laughter.  “Oh, he would be so mad, but after that, he’d be proud.”

A smile spread across my face.  “Thank you.”

She squeezed my hands.  “Go get him.”

“I am.  You coming?”

“I… I can’t.”

I kissed her cheek.  “It’s okay.  I got this.  Why don’t you go make us something awesome for dinner?  I’m pretty sure we’ll have some celebrating to do.”  I left her with a wink and a smile.  While I didn’t wholly believe my success was possible, I needed her to believe it.  I needed her to not worry.

We both slid out of the car, and then Aunt Kathryn replaced me in the driver’s seat.  I gave her one more hug, and she gave me one more “good luck”.  I watched her pull out of the parking lot as I took one last long breath.

Then my phone rang: the phone that I had blindly handed to Mr. Muscles.  No one should’ve been calling me, which meant that I knew exactly who was on the other line. 

“Give it to me.”

He looked down at the name flashing across the screen.  “Ryan?”

Shit.

“Ryan, as in Ryan Cassidy?”