Betrayal (16 page)

Then maybe you should realize that I feel the same.

You can hear me?

“Not all of it, but some.  You don’t realize how beautiful you are with or without extra places to kiss.”

Dang!
  My face warmed.   He knew just what to say, didn’t he?  “Um, I still would rather be me.”

Agreed.

I heard him again in my head.  My eyes brightened giving him the knowhow that I heard.  His smile was grand.

“You know, I am only weak because of the magic I used to glamour myself hidden,” I waited for the awe.  “Not the experience and certainly not the company.  I was hungry, tired, and I ran to get away.  The magic slowed me down.”

He didn’t let me down. 

“I caught that.  Conversations have been nothing but that among the guys outside.  They were in total amazement that you could do that or even defend yourself as well as you did.  How long did you hold it?”

The topic had been lightened up a bit making the room not so heavy with regret and worry.

“At least an hour, maybe less.  Time didn’t enter my mind.  It was so exhausting.  And lying in fetal didn’t help, but it is how I landed when they were chasing me.”

His eyes darkened scratching at something raw with the mention of yesterday and being chased.  I reminded him of “unprotected Grace”.  Long ago Ian called the bad guys of this world
They
and
Them
!  It just hit me that perhaps all of my new knowledge since then could lead me to believe that he meant the winter court, Nyms, or even the goblins. 

“When we were still at school you told me once that “They” were after me.  Did that mean Kin and the winter court or the goblins or Nyms?”

If it was possible, his face darkened more.  “Yes.”

Short answer only.  Those always meant avoidance to the true emotion he wanted released.

Okay!  I shall throw another log on the fire and get some of this out in the open since the band-aid is off.  Hoping to remove the scowl a little with the only thought I had to replace it with I asked, “Are you ever going to tell me why you leave me at night?”

“Yes.”  He finally dropped his eyes. 

Was he...blushing? 
Yes-sir-re! 

A flash of surprise crossed my own face briefly moving off topic once again, “You never told me the goblins could talk?”

The dark cloud above his head lifted and he bellowed out a laugh.  “You never asked.”

“Ian.  Not fair.” 
Infuriating.

“Perhaps you couldn’t understand before and now you’re opening your mind up more.  Later you can tell me the tale.  For now, I need to clear my mind of their dark dealings before I have them all slaughtered more than I did.”

Darth Vador look-a-like.  Ian was scary sometimes. 

As if on cue, my stomach growled. 

“Are you hungry?”

“Oh yes!”  I was excited to get up.  Leave the room.

“Would you like to eat here or go to the table?”

“Oh, the table.  I want to move about whether it hurts or not.  I need wiggle room.”  I moved too fast off the bed and dizziness took over me.  I stupidly grabbed my head and tossed back to the edge of the bed.

He caught me before my butt hit the mattress.  “You should stay.”

“No way.  I only spun around because I got up too fast.  I just need to slow down.”

“Grace.”

The one word that sets me on fire. 
That
word.  But the way he says it.  And he knows it like I know what it does to him.  I’ve not played that card as much as I have the batted eye, pouty lip look.  I guess we both know each other’s weakness for making the other happy.  I couldn’t help thinking back to my inward thoughts with Danella earlier and the power of words.

“I love you, Ian.”  It came out scratchy and needy like I felt.

Carefully, softly he took my shoulders and pulled up close to me.  His lips brushed against mine in a slow, deliberate attempt to not harm me like I knew he thought he might. 

And I love you.

Hearing the words through my mind while his lips were on me made every nerve ending in my body light on fire higher than the temperature I already owned from the declaration of saying my name.  I tried to make him kiss me again, but he said I needed to heal all the way first. 

Food.

When the door opened even the slightest, the rush was instant.  Kin...and Pike...and Ian...all there together.

“You guys are here, together, and no one is dead yet?”

All three smiled ruefully at me. 

“No promises,” laughed Kin. 
Figures.

“Give her room,” Ian’s demanding voice boomed.

Instant parting of the sea, Pike was there on my left, Kin the right. 

Wow! 

Dressed in a light pink presentable comfort summer-like dress that hid most of all my wounds, I slipped my arm in Ian’s and trudged forward.  Kin and Pike kept their quiet eyes on me as I made Ian stop in front of them. 

Without thought, the event came back to me.  I knew who had offered their coat to cover me.  I hugged Pike trying to show my thanks. 

Ian let me go for that brief second.  “Thank you,” I said in a whisper. 
I know you did everything you could.  I should have listened to you.

He deserved more than that, but what could I really do? 

I turned to Kin not hiding anything I said to either in front of Ian.  I knew he shouldn’t have been there and yet is still here now.  His second skin of daring to show visible love warred within him.   He really cared for me.  Enough to stay this long in the summer court no doubt quarreling endlessly with Pike and the others.

I know you sacrifice more than you should.
  “Thank you Kin.  I have no doubt in your honor.” 

He raised an eye at me.  What?  I no longer doubt his honor, just his need to have me too.  That would never happen.

I blocked, opened, and directed my thoughts back to Kin only so he would be able to act on it and Ian not kill him first.

Switch kidnapped me.  He didn’t intend to let me go.

Kin’s body flinched, but his face stayed the same.  The smallest nod told me he heard.

After the initial meet and greet, Kin said a reluctant farewell and said nothing about his father being involved.  I will admit my mention of Switch was more than just transferring information, but also a way to see how Kin reacted to his man helping kidnap me.

Pike didn’t leave my side at the table.  In fact, Ian actually patrolled the grounds for the second half of it and allowed me to sit with him.  It was odd, but I was glad Ian was able to get a break
and
that he halfway trusted Pike.  Pike wasn’t very talkative, but rather watchful.  As if I might burst out crying or need his assistance, he sat on the edge of his seat.  I tried to smile to ease his comfort, but nada!

I did ask Ian later about the incident and inquired about the involvement of King Sane.  He only told me it was being taken care of.  We would be meeting him soon, so I knew the subject would return unwillingly.

By the end of the night, I felt perfectly normal again.  Well, my body did.  My, oh my how the Fey have it all figured out in the nursing department.  As my mother would say, I was fit as a fiddle and ready to go.  She would also say something along the lines of, “My Grace has grown up” with all that I’d been through lately.

I wish she were right.  Sometimes I feel like curling up and hiding from life, but that wouldn’t let the good in my life come to light either.  I had no choice in the growing up department.

Before dawn the next day, the day we would leave to meet the king of insane, I dressed and readied to hurry through the court completely recovered physically.  Ian and I had reverted back to separate rooms.  He’d said that I was getting less and less sleep and needed more.  He didn’t know that I needed less and less.  Whether it was because I was well rested or becoming more like them I didn’t know, but I hoped for the latter.

I stood in the shadows of the garden area for a long time, but never saw anything but the fountain’s lively fun.  No Ian.  No girls.

When time was close enough that Ian would come looking for me, I slipped out from my hidey-hole and started for the meeting room.  I sensed them all still, so it was futile business looking around for Ian.
              “What?”  I didn’t turn to see him, I knew before he was there.

“Nothing!”  He looked exhausted, as if he’d been pacing all night.  He still wore his torn pants and completely destroyed shirt from searching for me.  His hair was limp and tangled, his face empty of color, dark shadows under his eyes.  But the moment I looked up at him, his whole face changed.  It stopped me cold like a shiver from a misty rain.

“Should I take you to Ian?”  Pike’s furtive hand slipped onto my wrist checking for signs of scars or pretending to at least.  I followed his fingers with my eyes feeling the heat just the simple tips of his fingers made.  He knew this would be my reaction and made no qualms to move it even though I rolled my eyes.  It was enough to remind me that we were two people who shared a time together where we knew each other better than acquaintances, but never amounted to anything.  It only tingled, not like the burn my skin felt when Ian ever hovered near me. 

“Pike, I can take of myself getting to the meeting room.”

“Oh, don’t I know it,” throwing me a look of pure disdain.  He started to walk away, his dark eyes storms of anger.  His unending way of irritating me like it amused him always made my blood boil, but not this time.  I wouldn’t let him see.  I blocked and kept my thoughts to myself, it getting more natural al the time.

“Will you help me?” I looked up, my lower lip trembling for no real reason other than my own ability at doing nothing to make him mad.  If he was upset by the display in the main dining area singing and “choose the knight of choice” episode, I wasn’t aware of it.  If anything, he looked a little relieved afterward.  Granted, I headed straight for Ian’s bedroom and ravished his mouth just for the good measure of returning what he did to me, but Pike was a big boy and knew all this.  He could survive.  He really wasn’t acting any different than he always had.  So what was he angry about.

“With what?” he said with his back turned.  Sensing my disquiet, he tried to comfort me by looking anywhere but at me.  One minute a target, the other actually helping me.

“Kin.”  I wanted him to read my intentions so I wouldn’t have to say it aloud.  I was tired of the strange, intimidating way he left me hanging each time we talked.  It was a game to him at all times no matter how much I tried to make it just friendly chitchat.

“So you can keep from being taken again or so that the king can take once again what doesn’t belong to him?”  He was way out of sorts.

What was he insinuating?  “Does this have to do with what the king has to tell me or do you have another crabapple problem to square over with me?”  Yeah, I was dying to hear this.

“I pretend to be your bodyguard.  I pretend to not notice you when you wish for me to not do so.  I pretend to stand by and be the friend your mind has made up for me to be,” he breathed heavily, “but I won’t lie to you.”

Was he a ball of pent up emotion or what?
  “Okay, so don’t.”  I put my hand on his arm hoping to calm him.

Pain twisted his features, “I know what you think you’re trying to do, but that isn’t what I need from you.  I can’t be just your friend, Grace.” 

He wasn’t taking the knightly choice thing well and Ian had warned me.  Just great!

I stepped back away from him withdrawing my shoulders to a slump.  “You have to be.  I can’t do this without you.  You’re not the culpable heathen you like for people to think you are.  I need the Pike that cares.”

That broke him down.  His hand reached for my shoulder in the low lights.  “Grace, I’m sorry.”

The infinite ways one little phrase can be interpreted is heart breaking sometimes.  He was saying one thing, yet he was saying something else altogether.  I didn’t know much in the world yet like I like to think, but I knew how the three men around me ticked.  I know I shouldn’t use my emotion or theirs as a tool, but when in Rome.

“I just want to be sure I have you beside me.  I can’t be the girl you want Pike, but the two of us could be great together in the face of adversary.  Our minds, however it happens, read each other well.  We click.  Just not in the way you want.”  And I changed my mind.  I don’t want anyone to be my tool, especially Pike.  He deserved more.

I watched him hover over the thought, his face twisting with each new scenario he produced in him mind.  When he didn’t say anything, I continued, “Whether we were meant to be more Pike, I can’t entertain the thought.  I wish like anything you could see this and move on.  I want you to joke with me.  Laugh.  Be the easygoing fun guy I know you are inside.  Maybe others don’t see that about you, but I do.  You are a hero to me.”   

His face turned down to me from looking in the distance.  “A hero?  Not hardly.”

“Yes, Pike.  You are stronger than anyone I know.  You think you have to be more and that’s what makes you that much more the hero.  You always persevere.  You never stay satisfied with just safe, but look for outlaying ways of making me and my court safer.”  Like he was doing now.

His chest puffed a little.  It was working even if it was the truth.  “I admire you more than you could imagine.  If you could see past what your heart desires and see what mine does, maybe you could enjoy being with me more.”  I sounded like a poetic fool, but something had to break through his barrier wall of angst. 

After he waited to see if I’d continue on again and did not he said calmly and with more emotion than most get from this hard as nails guy, “Grace, I will try.  That’s all I can offer.”

And had no one ever thanked him for saving and protecting?  “Thank you for always being my damsel in distress savior.  I never doubt that you will be there to save me.”  Both he and Ian would always hold themselves responsible for my fallibility to get captured.  This last time was the last straw.   I had to get better at protecting myself and making better decisions about where I go alone to disprove the selfish beginnings I’ve overcome.

Pike smiled feeling purposed and hearing it confirmed as if my opinion was all he needed. It wouldn’t be enough for him in the end. 

“If I tell you something will you keep it to yourself from the person you would want to tell?”             

Well, put that way.  “Of course, Pike.  Queens are notorious secret keepers.  Look at how well Ian keeps them?”  He didn’t miss the disappointment in my voice.

“Yeah, about that.  The reason he has….”  Pike dropped off his words.

“Uh, eh.  You’re not backing out on me now.  Spill it.”  He watched my hands on hips bargaining skills.

He bent down close after inspecting that we were very alone.  I worried then what his aim might be also fearful I’d asked for it without realizing it. 

“The poker was to pay for your ring.”  His words were too sticky and the suddenness of the reveal made me upset.  To hear the words that solved the missing link.

“He was—“

Pike covered my mouth meaning for me to hush.  The emotional yank that wanted to command him to move his hand stilled in me like I’d practiced.  Could be a good thing.  In this case I might should have tried it out but the fact that he was telling me this huge, beautiful secret downplayed ever doing it.

I mouthed into his hand, “He was gambling to get money for this ring?” I yanked on my finger and twisted the band, then the gems beside it.

“Now will you cut him some slack?” he said a little too sarcastically shaking his hand at his side though I pretended not to notice.

“He didn’t have too.  I told him that.”

“Like I said, Grace.  When a girl is worth it, we’d go to the ends of the earth for her.” His game face was on, but I wasn’t dumb.

“Thank you, Pike.  I hope you can find that girl one day.” 

He sighed heavily, kissed my cheek, and left me there alone.