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Authors: Alycia Taylor

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“Now who needs to stop? You may have been with her
when she crashed and two dead girls would not have made Emma’s death even
easier.”

“I guess so. I just hope she knew how much I loved
her.”

“I think, judging from all the photos I found last
night of you and her together that it’s a safe bet she knew.”

“I should have told her more.”

“Yeah,” I said, “I should have too.” I suddenly had
a thought. I really wanted to see her again and it sounded like she needed to
get out of the house as much as I did. “Hey, what are you doing tomorrow
night?”

“Um…probably the same thing I’m doing tonight…making
dinner for me and my dad and wishing I could turn back the clock a couple of
weeks.”

“Yeah, I know the feeling. I keep making dinner
here, but no one eats it. My mom finally got up today and went to see spend the
night at her sister’s house, but it was almost as hard to watch her try and “be
normal” than not. My dad is working himself to death and I’m afraid to go back
to my own apartment and leave them alone. But I am going to go through with the
fight tomorrow. I’ve trained hard for it and it’s kind of an important one. My
trainer says there will be some UFC scouts there. Why don’t you come watch me?
Afterwards we can grab some dinner. Maybe it will do us both some good to just
have a normal evening for a change.”

“It definitely couldn’t hurt,” she said with a
little laugh. “I’ve never been to a fight before.”

“It’s fun. You’ll like it.”

She laughed again and said, “Emma was right, you are
a little crazy. You think
it’s
fun to get knocked
around inside of a cage?”

“Nope,” I told her. “But I won’t be getting knocked
around. I’ll be winning.”

 

CHAPTER
FIVE

ALEXA

The next morning for the first time since the day I
woke up and found out that my best friend was dead; I woke up and actually felt
alive. I also still felt guilty about having things to look forward to, when
Emma never would again. I had to fight through that feeling every day anyways.
I had no idea how long it would take me to come out the other side of that one.
For today, I was looking forward to having dinner with Ian. So far, he was the
only one that could make me laugh and keep the sadness at bay, if only for a
moment. I didn’t feel guilty about laughing with him, because we were sharing
our memories of Emma. I have to admit that I did feel just a little bit guilty
about being so attracted to him though.

On the flip side, I wasn’t sure how to feel about
the fight. There were days since Emma died that I’d wished I
was
a fighter. It might feel good to just hit something and release some of the
anger that boiled inside of me. A few times I considered pounding my fist into
the wall. So far, I’ve been able to talk myself out of it. It might feel good
to watch someone else doing it though. I just prayed that he was as good as he
said he was because I don’t think I can stand to watch him get hurt. There had
been more than enough pain to go around lately and I didn’t know if I could
take even a little bit more.

I put that part out of my head while I was getting
ready for the night. I told dad I was going and he was happy that I was getting
out of the house, but a little bit concerned about the fight.

“You’re going alone?” he said.

“Well yeah, but Ian will be there, obviously.”

“He’ll be busy….obviously. Some of the people who go
to those fights get as aggressive in the stands as the fighters. I’m not sure I
like the idea of you being there alone.”

“Dad, Ian said my seat is close to the front, near
the cage. I don’t think anyone will try anything but if they do, I promise to
yell out for one of the officials, okay?”

“But…”

“I’m nineteen,” I told him.

He had a sad look on his face and I know he was
thinking about Emma as he said, “I know, I don’t like it.”

I laughed and gave him a hug. “We can’t make me
twelve again, but I promise I’ll be safe.”

“Okay. Call if you need me.”

“I will.”

The fight started at six. By five-forty I was there,
in my seat taking in my new surroundings. The fight was in a large warehouse
looking place. It had been designed for this, I think. There were ticket booths
in the front and the seating was comfortable and movie-theatre style. The place
was packed with people of all ages, races and genders. I knew MMA was popular,
but I’d never once considered going to a fight or even watching one on TV. I
couldn’t figure out why anyone would want to do it.

The atmosphere was loud and chaotic. It seemed like
everyone was talking at once. Some of them were arguing about who would win and
extolling the virtues of either Ian or his opponent Carlos “The bear,” but so
far it seemed amiable on both sides. I was already glad I’d come. It was good
to be around people that didn’t know anything about what we’d been through for
a change. No sadness, no questions, no pitying looks. When it was time for the
fight they announced the first fighter…
Carlos “The Bear”
Menezes.
The Bear thing didn’t sound promising for Ian, but I’m sure
they all give themselves names like that to sound tough.

The crowd gave him a slight cheer as he made his way
towards the cage. He didn’t look that scary to me…but he was a husky guy, maybe
that’s why they called him “The Bear.” I wasn’t going to be locked in a cage
with him either; maybe he would look scarier to me if that was the case. When
they called Ian out, I noticed that the cheers were louder and went on longer.
He looked confident as he made his way out with I’m assuming it was his trainer,
following him. That guy looked like a tank.

 
Ian took his
place inside the cage and the referee called him and the other fighter to the
center of the octagon. He gave them a rundown of the rules, talking so fast
that he sounded like an auctioneer. I liked the way he held his head high and
his shoulders straight. He looked the ref and his opponent right in the eye and
if he was scared at all, it didn’t show. The ref sent them back and after a few
seconds, the first bell rang.

Ian was fast. He told me he was good, but he hadn’t
mentioned that he moved like lightning. He blew out into the middle of the
octagon and as soon as his opponent was within reach he started firing off
shots. He was hitting the guy with his right hand over and over with different
punches and then he switched to his left and started pounding the guy’s body.
The Bear got off a punch or two that connected but because Ian was moving so
quickly and he was working so hard to protect himself, they were kind of weak.

After a bit I saw The Bear crouch down like he was
ducking a blow, but he was actually diving for Ian’s legs. Ian was too fast for
him and not only moved out of the way, but threw a punch at the same time that
landed underneath his opponents chin and caused his head to snap back and him
to stumble and almost lose his balance. I don’t know anything about cage
fighting but I could tell that Ian wanted this guy to stay on his feet because
right then he had every opportunity to take him down and he didn’t. He backed
off until his opponent had his balance back and then he moved in with another
crazy series of blows. It was a right and a left and the two rights and two
lefts and another right. The just when his opponent thought he knew what was
coming next; Ian spun around and kicked him in the side with his left foot. The
crowd was going crazy.

The Bear had stumbled way back that time but he
recovered quickly and tried charging at Ian. Ian weaved over to the side and
the other man missed him but it left Ian with his back against the mesh of the
octagon and his opponent right back on him quickly. He had his legs pressed
against Ian’s, holding him tight against the mesh as he wrapped his arms around
Ian’s shoulders and tried to take him down. As he pulled down, Ian shot his
hand up and caught the other man on the chin. It just seemed to stun him, but
it was enough to give the advantage back to Ian and suddenly he had his
opponent up against the mesh instead.

The Bear caught him with an elbow to the side of his
face, but Ian shook that off and started throwing punches until the bell rang
and saved the other man from his wrath. I wondered how much of Ian’s energy
tonight was the pent up anger he had over losing Emma. He seemed to be
completely focused and judging by the roar of the crowd, he was winning. It
took two more rounds for him to convince his opponent to tap out but when it
was over I had to say I was really impressed. And I hated to admit it, but
watching the fight had done wonders for my own feelings of aggression.

Ian smiled at me as he left the octagon and mouthed,
“I’ll be right back.” I waited for about twenty minutes and when he came back
his black hair was wet like he’d just gotten out of the shower and he was
dressed in a pair of jeans and a long-sleeved blue t-shirt. Looking at him gave
me a little flutter in the pit of my stomach. I had to wonder why I’d never
noticed just how good-looking he really is. Maybe it was because he looked so
much like Emma. Was that creepy to lust after someone who looked just like your
best friend?
Maybe.

“Hey,” he said with a very nice smile. The fight
must have given him back the endorphins he hadn’t had since his sister died.

“Hey, that was really something,” I told him. “You
are really good…and crazy fast.”

“Thanks,” He said, looking pleased that I thought
so. “Being fast protects my pretty face,” he said with a grin. “I’m glad you
came.”

“So am I.”

“Are you ready to go eat?”

“Yeah.”
We walked out to the parking lot and he said he would leave his car and get it
later if I didn’t mind driving. I didn’t mind, it actually made me feel better
because all of a sudden I was nervous and needed something to do with my hands.
I don’t know why I was nervous; it wasn’t
like
I
thought of this as a real date or anything…it just felt weird to be out with
Emma’s brother.

“Do you like Italian food?” he asked as we drove out
of the lot.

“Love it.”

“Good, how about Tony’s?”

“I love that place,” I told him honestly. It was
nice, without being fancy and the food was delicious. I headed to Tony’s and as
I drove, I could feel his eyes on my profile. I figured he was feeling a little
unsettled about this too so I said, “This is kind of weird, huh?”

“I was thinking it was nice. It’s just good to be
out doing something normal for a change. The fight felt good…helped me work
through some of my anger. Do you feel weird here with me?”

I pulled the car into the restaurant parking lot. I
sat there for a second and watched the happy people going in and out and then I
finally said, “No, it’s not about being here with you. Everything just seems
weird to me lately.”

“Yeah, I know what you mean,” he said. “It feels
weird to enjoy anything…like
it’s
being disrespectful
to Emma.”

“Right.”

“My aunt says that Emma would have hated that.”

“I think your aunt is right. I’m just not sure how
to shake it.”

“One day at a time, I guess,” he said. “You ready?”

I nodded and we got out of the car. He held the door
open for me and when his hand brushed lightly against the small of my back, I
shivered. Damn it, Alexa! This is not a freaking date!

We were seated right away and Ian…probably out of
respect for the fact I wasn’t legal to drink, ordered himself an iced tea. I
ordered the same and when the waiter left, we both looked at the menu. “Emma
loved this place,” I said.

He looked up at me and said, “Yeah, I know. Every
year for her family birthday dinner we had to come here. She’d have the
meatball sandwich with extra cheese and the tiramisu for dessert. I used to
give her a hard time because she wouldn’t try anything new when it came to food.
She liked what she liked.”

True and most of what she liked was packed with
calories and sugar. I never did figure out how she ate like that and stayed so
thin. I was so envious of her about so many things. I used to feel guilty about
that, but it didn’t affect our relationship. I still loved her. She was one of
those people that no matter how much you envied their beauty, you still had to
love them.”

He smiled and looked seriously at me as he said,
“You know that you’re really pretty too, right?”

I felt myself blush. I didn’t really know how to
respond to that so I just mumbled a thank you and breathed a sigh of relief
when the waiter came to take our order. Ian ordered the veggie pizza and I got
the chicken fettuccini. I wasn’t sure that I’d be able to eat it. My appetite
had been all but absent since…Emma.

“So, you didn’t answer me,” he said when the waiter
left.

“About what?”

“That you know you’re pretty.”

“I guess,” I said. “But Emma was like model
gorgeous. People asked her all the time why she didn’t model.”

Ian laughed and said, “She didn’t model because she
was a big klutz. She would have fallen off the runway.”

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