Best Friend's Brother #4 (Best Friend's Brother Romance Series - Book #4)

Best
Friend’s Brother #4

BOOK
4

By
Alycia Taylor

Copyright
2015. All rights reserved.

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CHAPTER
ONE

IAN

I was standing there, looking at Kristie and Alexa’s
faces. Kristie looked like she was having fun. She probably was. She lived for
this drama shit. Alexa was definitely not having fun.

“Kristie, you need to go.”

“You don’t even know what I came by for.”

“It doesn’t matter. I want you to go. You’re not
welcome here and you need to stay away from me.”

Kristie looked over at Alexa who was shooting fire
out of her green eyes at the other woman. Kristie smirked. “Oh, I get it,” she
said in a conspiratorial tone
.
 
“Your new little fling wasn’t supposed
to know about us.”

“Jesus, Kristie! There’s nothing to know. Now get
the hell out before I get really pissed off!”

She was going to make Alexa think we did something.
Shit! I should have told Alexa I had dinner with her. This was going to be
something else that made it look like I had something to hide.

“I’ll go,” she said, “but you’ll be calling me and
begging me to take you back. Like you did the other night.”

“It’s not going to happen, Kristie. You and I are
through. Get out!”

With a smile and a wink in Alexa’s direction she
said, “That’s not what he said last night.”

“Out!” I said again. She went out the door and Alexa
and I both stood there just looking after her for a few seconds. Finally, Alexa
turned to me and said,

“What did she mean by that last comment? Did you see
her last night? Did you call her and tell her you wanted her back?”

“Yes, I saw her, but never said I wanted her back. It’s
not what you think, and it’s not what she made it sound like. Can we sit?”

Alexa looked like she was going to bolt. She wasn’t
even really dressed, but she was eyeing the door. All I could think was that
she was going to take off and never want to see me again. I screwed up…again.

“I don’t want to sit,” she said. “I want to know why
you keep saying there is nothing between you two yet the night we’re not
together, you’re with her…”

“It wasn’t like that, I swear. You were angry with
me and I tried going to my parents’ because I really needed someone to talk to.
They’re still so broken that it didn’t help. It only made me feel worse. Between
the stuff that is constantly going on in my head about Emma and the fact that I
was so torn up over what happened between us…I just needed someone to talk to
Alexa. I was going crazy. She texted me and I did something that I hadn’t done
in a very long time…I texted her back. I should have known it would turn out
this way. I am guilty of being an idiot, but that’s all, I swear. We went out
to dinner and the whole time I listened to her go on about stupid, superficial
things, all I could think about was how much I wanted to be with you. I
realized why I broke up with her and I can’t even imagine what I was doing with
her in the first place. You’re the only one I feel comfortable talking to about
Emma and beyond that, I love spending time with you. We have so much fun
together…being with you is the only time I really feel whole again. I don’t
want Kristie…I’m sorry….I never should have gone out with her….But please
believe me, Alexa, nothing happened.”

“I believe you,” she said at last.

I was shocked. That wasn’t at all what I expected. Surely
it wasn’t going to be this easy…..

“But…”

Okay, here we go, I knew there was going to be
a but
…

“I’m not sure why I believe you; you probably
wouldn’t have even told me you saw her if I hadn’t been here when she showed
up. Omission is the same as lying, Ian. I thought we had cleared that up
before…”

“I know, and we did. I’m sorry. I was going to tell
you about Kristie but the timing just hadn’t been right. Alexa please let me…”

I reached out for her and she took a step back. I
knew I was screwed. She was going to leave and I already felt like I couldn’t
breathe. Damn it! I hated feeling this way. I hated it, and I loved it. It
didn’t make any fucking sense. I’ve never really cared if a girl walked out
before. It’s always been pretty easy to either get another one, or just be
alone. Before Emma died, I was never afraid of being alone. Now, the thought of
Alexa leaving and not coming back terrified me. I’d like to blame it all on
grief, but the fact was that I simply wanted her.

“I just need some time, Ian.”

She was gathering up her stuff as she talked.

“I need to wrap my head around all of this. So far,
in the short time we’ve been seeing each
other,
things
seem to be more “off” than they are “on”. I’m not sure I can do this
roller-coaster thing….”

“It won’t be roller-coaster. I won’t see her again,
ever. I can promise you that…”

“Ian, I’m not saying we’re over. I’m not mad. I just
need to spend some time getting my thoughts together and figure out if…whatever
this is between us is healthy for me. I’ll call you.” She went into the bedroom
and finished getting dressed. I stood rooted to the spot I was in, wondering
how I could possible keep screwing this up. When she came back, she looked at
me sadly and said again, “I’ll call you, okay?”

I think it was an unspoken, “
Don’t call me.”

“I’m sorry,” I said.

“Don’t be sorry. I’m really not mad. This has just
all happened so fast. Maybe we both need to put more thought into it. Do me a
favor and spend your own time thinking about all of this too. We’ve been
through a lot. At first it was okay that we were together because of Emma. We
both desperately needed that. But now, I think we need to look at whether or
not there are other reasons to be together, and if this is worth pursuing.” I
just stood there looking at her like an idiot. I knew that this was worth
pursuing. I didn’t have to think about it. I wasn’t sure why I felt differently
about her than I ever had any other woman or girl…but I did. I watched her go without
telling her that. I should have just told her…what did I really have to lose
when she was already walking out the door? I dropped down onto the couch and
wondered when my life would ever stop being one dramatic scene after the other.

I finally pulled my ass up off the couch and got
into the shower. The more I thought about Kristie’s perfect timing, the more
pissed off I got. Yes, I should have told Alexa that I went out to dinner with
her, but since that was all there was to it, I really hadn’t thought it was a
big deal. Kristie showing up made it a big deal and I may have just lost Alexa
because of it. How many things was she going to have to find out…things that I
should have told her myself…before she gave up on me?

I got dressed for the gym and threw my things in my
bag. I needed to go work out or this anger was going to overwhelm me. I can’t
get through this shit without Alexa. If it
wasn’t
for
her…I’d probably be curled up in a corner somewhere…Shit! What the hell am I
going to do now?

I grabbed my bag and my keys and headed out. By the
time I got to the car I realized that I couldn’t just let this go. I had to try
and do something to convince her I was worth taking a risk on. Things have just
been so screwed up since Emma died…but they would get better, as long as we
worked through it together. I understand why she would need some time. I
planned on giving that to her. But, then somehow, I’m going to make things
right. Somehow, I’m going to fix this. I’d give her a day…or two, and then I
would go talk to her and tell her how I feel.

CHAPTER
TWO

ALEXA

I drove home from Ian’s with my head spinning. I was
growing so tired of being pulled in so many different directions. My best
friend is dead. I met a guy who I really, really like…and I just can’t seem to
make it work with him. Ian’s not a bad guy. He’s just the opposite as a matter
of fact. He’s kind of an enigma. He spends a lot of time alone, yet he’s
perfectly comfortable around people. He rebelled a lot when he was a kid…yet he
has a great relationship with his parents. He’s an animal in the octagon. Yet
he’s sweet and gentle in bed. He says he wants nothing to do with his
ex-girlfriend and yet she keeps popping up in our lives. Since I’d started
seeing him he’s provoked so many different emotions inside of me, more than
anyone else ever had. I’m sure it has a lot to do with the way we came
together, already in emotional turmoil. We were both dealing with our grief and
it just seemed so much easier to deal with it together instead…maybe that’s
where we went wrong. Maybe we should have done that separately before we got
together and then dating would be going more smoothly. Maybe there are too many
emotions tangled up and maybe it was going to be impossible to untangle them
and decide where grief began and our feelings for each other started. Or maybe
there are no real feelings for each other. Maybe it’s our minds’ ways of trying
to compensate for the alternative…the emotional hell of remembering that Emma
was dead every minute of the day.
 

By the time I got out of the car and headed into the
house I was beginning to wonder if maybe it would be easier to straighten my
head out if I just concentrated on me for a while. Maybe I should go out and
do
something fun that had nothing to do with Ian or anyone
else. Maybe I should have stayed at school.

I walked in the front door and Dad said, “Is that
you, Alexa?” I almost laughed. I’m not sure who else he thought it might be,
and it reinforced that maybe I should have gone back to school. Since I’d been
home it was almost like mine and Dad’s relationship had reverted back to what
it was when I was a teenager.

“Yeah Dad, it’s me.”

“Come on in the kitchen, I was just making a
sandwich. Do you want one?”

I went into the kitchen. He had out almost every
condiment we owned as well as all of the lunchmeat, a head of lettuce, tomato,
onion and avocado. I smiled, “What kind of sandwich are you making?”

“It’s my version of the club…minus the bacon,
unfortunately. I forgot to buy some when I went grocery shopping. But that’s
okay. I have several different kinds of meat here.”

I wish I could care about the meat on a club
sandwich. If I did, that would mean that things were back to normal. I’m not
even sure what that was anymore. I sat down at the table and he asked me where
I’d been.

“Hanging out with Ian,” I said. He made a face, but
he didn’t say anything. I guess it was different from when I was in high
school. Back then, he never would have missed an opportunity to tell me what
was wrong with the guy I was dating. I think it was what made me be more
judgmental than I should be. I was always looking for something to be wrong. In
spite of that, I wondered if I should talk to him and see what his take was on
everything that had been going on. I thought maybe I already knew what he was
going to say. He was going to tell me that I should stay away from Ian. He
would give me a list of reasons why and tell me all of the things that were
wrong with him and then he would say,
“It’s
not that I don’t like him, it’s just that he’s not what I want for you.”

“Dad, I really like Ian.” I told him. I was goading
him, sort of. I wanted his advice and yet I didn’t. What I really wanted was
for him to say,
“Oh, Ian! He’s a great guy!”
I knew that was never going to happen, but it sure would make it easier for me
to keep seeing him, which was what I think I really wanted.