Best for the Baby (4 page)

He stared at her a long moment, but didn’t try to remove her fingers. Her stomach rolled again unpleasantly. She wanted desperately to believe she could see his indecision floating between them like a fog.

He shook his head. “If I don’t press charges, you’ll walk out of here and disappear to God knows where.”

“I don’t know yet where I’ll go. But no matter what, it won’t be your concern.”

“You made it my concern when you broke into the cottage.”

“Listen, why does this have to be so difficult? I’m not hurting anyone. I’m not wrecking a marriage or breaking up a family. I just need to get out of here.”

The change in his expression was as sharp as a slap. “No.”

“Can you really be so cruel that you’d leave me in Nit Whit’s hands?”

“Okay. You want out of here, I want a promise.”

She frowned, suddenly suspicious. “What kind of promise?”

“That instead of heading off for parts unknown, you’ll sit down and talk to me. I want to know what’s going on. How you ended up like this.”

She released his jacket, her temper flaring once more. “You don’t have the right—”

“Don’t misunderstand. I’m not interested in your future plans. But I want to be able to tell your family something that will reassure them that you’re all right. You may not care about them, but I do.”

Seeing the determination in his eyes, she felt the strength leave her, like honey melting out of its comb. Her legs were so weak she had to find the cot quickly. She bent forward, her hair falling into her eyes as she brought her hand to her mouth to keep the contents of her stomach down.

“Why should you give a damn about Mom and Dad?” she asked, full of misery. “They worked hard enough to split the two of us up, didn’t they?”

“I don’t hold grudges. I move on. And I happen to care very much about Maggie. She’s ridiculously happy with Will and the kids now. Talking about you is the only thing that makes her sad these days.”

His words barely registered. Too late. What little was left in Alaina’s stomach was coming up, no matter what. “Just leave then,” she whispered, making a dash for the stainless steel sink in the corner. “Oh, damn…”

She was dimly aware of Zack extending his hand toward her through the bars. “Alaina, what’s wrong? Do you need help?”

Bent over the basin, she waved that suggestion away. This was humiliating enough. She didn’t want Whit Russell thinking he’d managed to upset her so much that
she was sick. “Wait a minute,” she choked out between spasms. “Just wait…”

It was over almost as soon as it began, thank goodness. She didn’t have much food to lose. Still, she hated throwing up. The indignity of it. The acidic taste in your mouth.

She used the thin towel to wipe her face, then scraped both hands through her hair. Her cheeks were cold, and she wondered if there was any color left in her face.

She turned back to Zack, giving him a rueful smile. His brow was drawn down in a frown, but for the first time since he’d come into the cell block, he looked a little like the old Zack.

“Sorry,” she said as she approached the bars again. “All this stress has tied my stomach in knots.”

His head tilted, and then he said something unexpected. “Do you remember Sandy?”

Alaina stared at him, uncertain why he would bring up his family right now. “Your sister? Of course. How is she?”

“She’s fine. She’s still married to Rick. She’s going to have another baby after the first of the year. A boy.”

“That’s nice. I always knew she’d make a great mom. So…what’s the decis—”

“She came to stay with me for Dad’s funeral,” he stated, as though there was nothing more important than catching up on old times. “While she was there she couldn’t keep anything down. I can’t tell you how many times I woke to the sound of her throwing up in the bathroom.”

Alaina didn’t like this conversation. Feeling uneasy, she forced a smile. “I guess it’s always rough during that first trimester.”

“I suppose,” he replied. Then his eyes latched on to hers, probing so sharply that the tension that had worked its way into her spine threatened to snap her in two. “But I know one thing. After watching Sandy, I know what being pregnant does to a woman’s body. I’ve seen the changes that take place early on, and I can see them in you, Al.”

His words hit her in the stomach like a fist. She swallowed and stepped back. “I don’t know what—”

He shook his head. “Don’t bother to lie. You’re pregnant, aren’t you?”

I
T WAS NEARLY DAYBREAK
by the time Alaina was released from custody. Whit Russell didn’t like the fact that Zack refused to press charges, but there wasn’t a damn thing he could do about it.

Zack escorted Alaina to his rental car, where she tossed her backpack into the rear seat and settled into the passenger side without a word. Since he was feeling tired and out of sorts, at the moment he was perfectly fine with her silence.

Except…where should they go from here?

Toying with several ideas, but unable to settle on any of them, he pulled out of the parking spot in front of the jail.

It had been years since he’d been back to Lake Harmony. His mother had pestered him for months to make a trip up here to take care of a few things at Heron Cove, but he’d put her off. He hadn’t wanted to return, and work had made such a convenient excuse. A new business needed your full attention, and he didn’t have time for walks down Memory Lane right now. Maybe sometime after the first of the year, he’d promised her.

But now, as he drove down the deserted main street
of town, he could feel his gut clenching at all the old familiar sights.

The place looked as though it had been frozen in time. Given the early hour, not much was open except the Creekside Diner on the corner and the town’s only gas station. But the drugstore, the nail salon with its sun-faded posters in the windows, the tidy town square, even the salvaged train cars that had morphed into the visitor’s center—they all looked the same.

He had a rough moment as they passed the hardware store, where he and his father had bought lumber for the deck they’d built on the back of the cottage. And another when they passed Cookie Country, where people came from miles around just to grab a dozen of Emmaline Epperson’s melt-in-your-mouth snickerdoodles. Those had been his father’s favorite, and the pain of that memory was right there beneath Zack’s breastbone.

He wasn’t about to allow it to take hold. He glanced at Alaina. “So…start talking. I got you out of jail. Now I want to hear what happened. Why are you in this mess?”

Instead of answering that question, she asked one of her own. “I don’t suppose you’d have anything to eat? I’m starving.”

“We could go back to the diner.”

“I’d rather not.”

She swiped her bandaged hand through her tousled hair—which didn’t help a bit—then brushed a streak of dirt from her jacket sleeve. If she felt as washed out and worn down as she looked, Zack could guess that she dreaded being seen in public. The old Alaina had been a champion of order, the tidiest person he’d ever known.

Making a decision he might regret, he swung the car
off Main Street and away from town. If he remembered right, a mile or two outside the city limits was an old market near the lake. Tourists had discovered its deli, which specialized in fried chicken lunches and sandwiches.

There wasn’t a soul in the parking lot, but plumes of smoke curled from the chimney, and Zack could smell apples cooking. He parked by some oak trees with picnic tables beneath them. Getting out of the car, he bent down to catch Alaina’s eye through the open window.

“Stay here,” he told her. “If you’re gone when I get back…”

She frowned at him, looking offended. “I won’t be gone. I promised.”

The place was deserted except for a teenager behind the counter. Zack was relieved that the old guy who owned the market and had been a friend of his father wasn’t there. Even this place held memories, and he was determined not to revisit them.

While the kid filled Zack’s to-go order, he grabbed items off the shelves. He wasn’t sure what a pregnant woman should eat, but he figured she ought to stay away from grease and sugar.

When he got back to the car, he was actually relieved to see that Alaina was right where he’d left her. She murmured a quick thank-you, then eagerly grabbed the sack he handed her, and dug into it while he removed the lid from the coffee he’d bought for himself.

She unearthed the turkey-and-cheese sandwich, an apple and a bottle of flavored water. Then she gasped as she took out a small cup of carrot-raisin salad, one of the market’s specialties.

“You remembered!” she exclaimed with a smile.

As Alaina Tillman smiles went, it was a little weak, but it still made Zack’s nerves vibrate, and he didn’t like that. “Yeah,” he replied. “Just eat.”

As he’d expected, she ate the salad first. Alaina loved the stuff. Personally, Zack thought raisins were a waste of perfectly fine grapes, and nothing she’d ever said had convinced him otherwise. But they were a good source of vitamin something or other, so he’d made the exception and bought the salad at the last minute.

He sipped his coffee while she ate. The morning mist had burned away, leaving scallops of sunlight upon the grass. In the distance, Zack could see Lake Harmony, shining like a long blue ribbon of silk on the horizon.

He couldn’t believe he was back here, where he’d spent so many wonderful, innocent summer vacations. He couldn’t believe he was sitting in a car, alone with Alaina for the first time in years.

When she’d finished the salad and half the sandwich, he turned in his seat to look at her. “Feel better?”

She gave him another smile, a stronger one this time. “Actually, yes. Thank you.”

No point in waiting any longer. The sooner he got some answers, the sooner he could get back to Miami. “So what’s the deal, Al?”

“There’s not that much to tell.”

“Look,” he said with a sigh. “I’ve been up all night, so I’m as tired as you are. I have a business that needs my attention. But I’m not going home without something. When your family gets back from their cruise, I want to be able to tell them you’re all right.”

“I
am
all right. I’m just…” she shrugged one shoulder “…alone at the moment.”

He tossed his empty coffee cup into a bag they were using for trash. “Alone and pregnant. Yeah, that will ease their minds.”

“This is just a temporary situation.”

“Because lover-boy is coming back?”

She jerked around in her seat and gave Zack a tough look. “Stop calling him that. I’m plenty mad at Jeffrey myself right now, but I’m willing to cut him some slack, because I know that deep down he’s a wonderful man. He cares about the world. He wants to make it a better place. He believes one person can make a difference.”

“Okay, I get it. He’s out to save the polar bears and the rain forest, but leaves the mother of his kid high and dry. He’s a saint, all right.”

“When did you turn into such a cynic?” she asked. “You were the first one to chain yourself to Wilson’s oak tree to keep it from being cut down.”

He couldn’t help laughing at that. “I was sixteen! When we were young I did a lot of things I should have thought twice about.”

She stared at him intently. “You mean, like having me for a girlfriend?”

“Absolutely,” he said, not missing a beat. “But stay on topic. Where’s…Jeffrey?”

She settled back in her seat with a huge sigh. He felt her resistance give way. She rubbed her forefinger along one eyebrow, a gesture that swam up through the years for Zack, old and familiar as his own name. “I don’t know,” she admitted in a soft voice. “We spent the night
in Atlanta. We had a disagreement, and yesterday morning I woke up to find him gone.”

“No note? No goodbye kiss?”

She dug into the pocket of her jacket, retrieving a crumpled piece of hotel stationery. She handed it to Zack. “He left this on the dresser.”

Zack read the brief lines.

Alaina—

I’m sorry. I need time to adjust to the idea. Give me two weeks.

Love, Jeff

“He left because you told him you were pregnant?” Zack asked with a scowl.

“That’s not exactly the way it went.”

Great. Just about as bad as he’d feared. “Then what way was it?”

“I know it doesn’t sound very good,” she admitted. “And I could kill him for doing such a stupid, selfish thing.”

“A baby doesn’t fit his plans, so he’s off to save the whales, which are probably a lot less difficult to deal with than the idea of becoming a father.”

Her mouth thinned in disapproval at his assessment. “Honestly, he’s not like that. He’s idealistic and passionate. I just keep telling myself that the news was a shock. He needs time to think things through. Obviously plans may have to change, but he’s just confused right now. I can give him a little time to adjust. It doesn’t mean he won’t be back.”

Oh, sure. That could happen.
“So what are you
thinking? That he’ll come roaring back to town once he gets his head straight? Then what? Can you get two adults and a baby on the back of a Harley?”

“Why are you being so hateful?” she snapped. “When I told you I was leaving Gil you said I should do whatever I needed to in order to change my life. You just didn’t want to be involved in any way. I did as you asked. I didn’t bother you again.
Now
you want to lecture me about the choices I made after I divorced him?”

“No. I don’t want to lecture you.” What a hell of a mess this woman had managed to get herself into. Zack didn’t owe her anything. He ought to give her a ride to wherever she wanted to go, and be done with it. He wanted to kick himself for being too weak to do just that. “I guess I thought you’d have better sense than to chuck everything you had back home—”

“What do you think I had, Zack?” Her voice sounded as thin and tight as a wire. “A messy, public divorce. A job in public relations that I was good at but didn’t particularly enjoy. Living back home with two parents who mean well, but who can’t help meddling to the point that you want to scream. You know how they are, how they’ve always been. Especially when it comes to me—the perfect daughter who’s never disappointed them.”

Yeah. He couldn’t deny what a number Alaina’s parents could do on a person. He’d been victimized by their loving pressure a time or two himself.

“Even Maggie and I were starting to get on each other’s nerves again,” Alaina admitted. “She couldn’t resist trying to fix things that I didn’t ask her to fix. We’d become so close after she got came back to Miami. I hated to see how resentful I was becoming toward her.”

They were silent for several long moments. Time seemed suspended. Finally Zack said, “Okay, so you needed a change. This guy Jeffrey. It’s one thing to flirt with the free-spirited, vagabond lifestyle, but quite another to set down roots there. He wasn’t the answer, Al.”

Zack could see nothing more than her profile. He watched the muscles in her throat flex as she swallowed hard. “Maybe not,” she agreed. “But at the time, he felt like he could be. I needed the physical and mental space to get my head together. Everything was just so stifling. I don’t know what he’ll do once he’s had time to think. I’m not even sure what I
want
him to do about it. I just know one thing.” She turned to look at Zack. “In spite of everything, I’m not sorry that I’m pregnant.”

There had been a time in their lives when the two of them could have talked about anything. But for a moment, he honestly didn’t know how to respond to that. It felt as though glass had lodged in his lungs, making it impossible to breathe, much less speak.

When he didn’t say a word, she said, “Maggie must have told you that Gil and I really wanted children. I thought it would never happen. But now that it has, it’s all I want.”

She sounded so determined. He looked into her eyes and recognized a stone wall when he saw one. He wished he could think of something helpful to say, but nothing came to him. “You could end up a single mother. That’s not easy these days.”

She shook her head. “I don’t care, Zack. I’ll manage.”

He suddenly needed to close his mind down, give it a rest. “Okay. So in a few months you have the kid and
everything’s roses and sunshine. But first you have to get there. The question is, what are you going to do
now?
”

W
HAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO
now?

Good question.

It would be lovely if she had an answer for that one. But the scary truth was, Alaina didn’t. Right now, she was a million miles away from knowing what she could possibly do with her life.

When she’d met Jeffrey shortly after her divorce, she’d been so certain that he was what she needed. Passionate about life and the environmental causes he believed in, yet surprisingly lighthearted and full of mischief. Sensitive. Undeniably sexy, with electric-blue eyes and shaggy blond hair like a young Redford. He was twenty-eight to her thirty-two, but he didn’t seem to care if she had a little extra on her hips or no longer had the confidence to wear a bikini. His enthusiasm for life was infectious, so different from the cold, bland world she’d shared with Gil.

When he’d asked if she wanted to go off to Texas with him for a few weeks so she could help to save a band of wild horses, she had said yes in a heartbeat. And when those weeks had turned into months, it hadn’t bothered her a bit. Jeffrey made her feel young again, made her feel as though her life mattered.

He’d been a thoughtful, caring lover. They’d taken precautions. This baby had definitely been an accident, the result of too much wine and a celebration over some small victory they’d managed. When she’d finally told him a couple of nights ago, he’d looked completely shocked.

“I can’t believe this,” he’d kept repeating. “Are you sure?”

The displeasure she’d sensed had made her less than understanding. They’d argued a little, then resolved to look at the situation again in the morning, though Alaina couldn’t imagine what would change in that amount of time. He’d held her in his arms, and there was no more mention of the future, no talk of marriage or the baby. Just a long, long silence, until it had become uncomfortable and Jeffrey had leaned over to kiss her forehead. “Go to sleep,” he’d said sweetly.

She had nodded against the wall of his chest and closed her eyes, but it was ages before she fell asleep.

When she woke the next morning, she couldn’t honestly say she was surprised to find him gone. Somewhere deep inside she’d known the news had hit him hard. Wouldn’t it stun
any
man who lived the carefree, unattached life that he did?