Beneath the Shadows (14 page)

Freeborough Hall loomed sturdy and imposing at the end of a long circular driveway, lights blazing from the downstairs rooms. Grace grasped the skirt of her long black satin dress so that it wouldn't trail along the wet ground, and headed towards the ornate doorway with the others.

Annabel had borrowed a sparkly silver number that Grace hadn't worn in years, while James had managed to hire a tuxedo in town. He fiddled with his cufflinks as they made their way up the steps. At the top they were greeted by two elderly women, in similar royal blue knee-length dresses that looked more appropriate for church than for a ball.

After parting with their tickets and entering the raffle, they headed along a wide corridor in the direction of voices and music.

‘Look at these,' James said, as he glanced up at the large disembodied head of a stag, its beady eyes glaring
malevolently down at them – one of a number of animal trophies that were mounted between various works of art.

‘I'd rather not, thanks,' Annabel replied.

They entered the large function room to see the party in full swing. Multicoloured balloons were bunched at regular intervals around the wall, streamers trailing from them. The stage and the bar area were well lit, but the rest of the light came from small lamps on each table. People milled around, or sat in groups holding animated conversation, while a few had already taken to the floor, dancing to a swing band. Grace glanced at the double bass player, his eyes closed as he plucked fiercely at strings, and wondered what it would be like to be that absorbed in something. When was the last time she had lost herself like that? She couldn't remember.

‘Where the hell did all these people come from?' James murmured.

They bought drinks and found an empty table, but it didn't take long before Annabel began cajoling them all to dance.

‘All right then,' James muttered crossly as Annabel pulled him from his seat. ‘Come on, Grace, you too.'

But Grace shook her head as they got up and moved to the dance floor, and after a few attempts at waving her over to join them, James gave up. Annabel began sashaying around with her arms in the air, while James did his best impression of a swing king, bending double and clicking his fingers to each side of his knees, nodding his head enthusiastically. Grace was laughing at them when she heard someone saying her name, and felt a hand on her shoulder. She swung around to see Claire.

‘Hi Grace.' Claire was smiling. ‘My family are over there – come and say hello.'

Grace got up and followed Claire across the room to a large round table. ‘Everyone,' Claire announced, ‘this is Grace.'

Conversation drifted away as all eyes fell on her. On the far side, a burly, shaven-headed man had his hand placed proprietorially on the thigh of the woman next to him. The woman was observing the dance floor, and Grace saw that she had a pretty elfin face and dark hair piled high on top of her head. Nearest to Grace, a woman with long auburn hair had turned to stare, her face sombre. Last of all, Grace spotted Meredith in a dim corner close to the wall, one elbow on the table, the heel of her palm elegantly propping up her chin as she coolly regarded the dance floor.

‘These are my younger sisters, Liza and Jenny,' Claire said, gesturing to the women as she spoke. ‘And over there is Liza's husband Dan. Everyone, this is Grace.'

‘Hello Grace,' Meredith said from her shadowy corner, her mouth barely moving. ‘Claire, can I talk to you for a moment?'

Claire moved across to her mother, leaving Grace on her own. As she looked around, her gaze fell on Jenny, whose long red hair was familiar. Then she realised: this was the person she had seen leaving Ben's house when she'd been out walking. Perhaps Ben was the ‘someone' Claire had referred to when she'd said Jenny was in a new relationship. She realised too late that she was staring, and Jenny was regarding her with a frown. Grace averted her eyes.

Dan got up and held out a hand. ‘Nice to meet you,'
he said without smiling as they shook. ‘So you're living in Roseby? Claire said you're from London – the change of scene must have taken a bit of getting used to?'

‘Yes, it has.' She shook his hand, expecting more conversation, but he sat down and began rolling a cigarette. Grace remembered Emma telling her about him, and tried to picture him as a policeman. His manner was both abrupt and slightly menacing, and she was grateful that it was Niall and not this man who'd been sent to help her on the night Adam disappeared.

‘How are you getting on at the cottage?' Liza asked. ‘Mum says you're busy sorting through everything?'

Grace wondered if they knew about Meredith's interest in the place. ‘Yes, but I'm enjoying the break for Christmas.'

Before Liza could say any more, Jenny leaned across the table and said something to Dan. He looked down at the tablecloth and let out a short bark of laughter, and Grace saw Jenny's eyes flicker to her, then away. Grace began to feel uneasy, but was saved as the music stopped and it was announced that the raffle was about to be drawn.

‘Good to meet you all,' she said, glancing around to find Meredith's eyes fixed on her. Claire began to move towards her again, but Grace pretended she hadn't seen, and hurried away.

Annabel and James were already back at their table. ‘Where did you go?' Annabel asked accusingly. ‘You left my purse on the chair, it could have been stolen.'

‘I'm not here to babysit your handbag,' Grace retorted. ‘Look after it yourself.'

‘All right, calm down.' Annabel glared at her.

Their attention shifted towards the stage as the raffle was drawn. Grace glanced at her tickets, then screwed them up. Then the lights were dimmed again, the music resumed, and everyone went back to their conversations. Trying her best to absorb the carefree atmosphere, for a while Grace chattered inconsequentially to Annabel and James over another glass of wine, but she felt as though she were alone in an invisible bubble. ‘Time for another dance,' Annabel announced a little while later, and James agreed, saying, ‘This time you're coming too, Grace,' but dancing was a step too far for her tonight, in front of all these people, particularly when she couldn't shake the feeling that she was being watched.

She decided she would go for a walk rather than sitting by herself next to the packed dance floor. She thought she might find a moment's solitude in the ladies' bathroom, but when she arrived there was a queue of women gossiping animatedly while they waited for a cubicle. So she headed back beneath the leering parade of hunting trophies, towards the main doors of the building. The old women who had welcomed them were no longer there, and she leaned against the cool stone wall, breathing in the frigid air, feeling the chill of the night seeping through her skin and into her bones.

‘Grace?' a female voice said.

Grace whirled around. One of Meredith's daughters was standing behind her, contemplating Grace nervously.

‘Liza, isn't it?' Grace queried.

‘Yes,' the woman replied, a small jewel in her brown hair glinting in the soft light. ‘I need to talk to you. Alone. It's about Adam.'

As Grace stared at Liza, she noticed that Liza's stomach protruded in front of her like a perfectly rounded egg. Grace's whole body had stiffened upon hearing Adam's name, but before she could speak, Liza said, ‘This way,' and headed down the steps. At the bottom she glanced back and beckoned Grace to come with her.

Grace followed in a daze, as Liza made for two soaring oak trees whose trunks stood set apart but whose branch tips bent to join each other in a delicate embrace. There wasn't much light to navigate by, but between what little moonlight had managed to penetrate the clouds, and the glow from the hall, Grace could make out a small lake in front of her. Liza had turned right and disappeared, and as Grace came through the trees she saw there was an ornamental gazebo a little further along. Creeping plants had spun a web of stems over the wrought-iron railings, and there were a few steps leading into it.

Liza waited inside, looking out across the lake. As soon as Grace joined her she said, ‘I'm sorry to bring you out here like this, but I didn't know how else to speak to you on your own. And I need to tell you something …' She searched Grace's face for reassurance.

‘I'm listening,' Grace told her quietly.

Liza took a deep breath before she spoke. ‘I saw Adam in the library in Ockton, the day before he went missing. I'd nipped in there to browse while I waited for a bus, and I was amazed to bump into him. We recognised each other straight away, even though it's been, what – over fourteen years … But during the summer he spent in Roseby, my sisters and I saw him all the time – he made life far more interesting for a while, I can tell you. Anyway, it was really lovely to catch up. He told me about you, Grace – said he was married and had a baby girl – he looked really proud.'

Grace felt a searing pain in her chest. She went across and leaned on the railing, studying the inky-black lake. Patchy light illuminated small parts of its glassy surface, and highlighted the dark outlines of plants and bushes surrounding it.

Liza came closer and put a hand on her arm. ‘I'm sorry, Grace. I can only imagine how difficult it must be –'

‘Why the hell didn't you come forward at the time?' Grace interrupted, anger sitting low in her voice.

‘I didn't know that Adam had gone missing straight away,' Liza explained, withdrawing her touch. ‘And when I found out, it was complicated … for reasons I don't want to go into, but which have nothing to do with Adam. Anyway, at the time I didn't think our conversation would be
relevant – but when I heard you were back, I knew I should talk to you, just in case …'

‘What else did he say?' Grace demanded impatiently.

‘Well, he was sitting at a computer when I saw him, with the phone book open next to him, and when I asked him what he was doing, he looked kind of sheepish and said, “Looking for my dad.”'

On hearing those last four words, Grace froze. Liza didn't notice, and carried on.

‘I was taken aback by that. When he'd stayed in Roseby after his mother died, the main things I remember about him were first of all that he pretty much chain-smoked, and secondly that he talked a lot about how much he hated his father for abandoning them. So I wasn't sure what to say, but he added, “I'd just like to hear his side of the story.” And then I'm certain that we began talking about something else – that's all I remember him saying about it anyway. But I recall him telling me that very clearly, because he'd obviously had such a big change of heart.'

Grace was trying to imagine this conversation taking place. ‘Adam rarely talked about his father to me,' she told Liza. ‘He seemed to have dealt with the trauma of his early life. He was one for always looking forward, not backwards.'

‘Well,' Liza said, ‘he had changed then, because he used to be obsessed with his dad. And that's probably a good thing, actually, because although I didn't really understand at the time, it wasn't very healthy the way he talked then. But he had only just lost his mother – he needed someone to direct his anger at, I guess. The way he spoke in the library
struck me, because that hate wasn't there any more – he was quite matter of fact about it.'

Grace swung round. ‘I want to tell the police about this,' she said. ‘In case it makes a difference. I wish you'd said something at the time.'

‘Grace, I understand how you must feel, but I'm asking you – begging you, in fact – not to get me involved.' Liza sounded frightened.

‘Can I ask why?' Grace persisted.

Liza shook her head. ‘I can't say, I'm sorry. Please – I've told you all I know. Leave me out of it now.'

Grace made a noise of frustration and looked back across the lake for a while, lost in thought. When she turned round, she was alone in the gazebo.

All at once, the cold was unbearable. She looked through the trees towards the lights of the hall. She wasn't ready to go back there yet. Her thoughts tumbled over one another as she tried to make sense of what she had heard. While Liza had been talking, half of Grace had been listening attentively, but the other half had been picturing Adam's earnest face and trying to figure out why he hadn't told her what he was doing. She had a disconcerting feeling that she might know the answer. While Grace was pregnant, she had asked Adam if he'd thought about tracing his father. He had seemed agitated by the suggestion, and had given her a big speech about how the past was best left alone. If he'd changed his mind, and decided to do some research while they were at the cottage, he might well have put off telling Grace, knowing what he'd said before, reluctant to admit his change of heart.

She remembered his note now, with a shudder of disquiet:
I have to talk to you when I get back, don't go anywhere.
As she sighed, a cloud of mist formed in the frosty air. Surely this was it – he had meant to tell her about Jonny. So why had he chosen that moment? Had he found something in the library?

She watched her breath dissipating. This was all supposition – who knew if it even had any bearing on why he'd disappeared. She recalled Liza and her family at the table tonight. Meredith's indifferent stare. Perhaps they were trying to unnerve her, make her feel that her husband had been keeping secrets from her, manoeuvre her out of the cottage so Meredith could take it over. Well, if that were their intention they were going to be disappointed.

It was time to get back inside before she caught pneumonia. She left the gazebo and moved hurriedly along, careful not to trip on the long undergrowth next to the murky water. As she walked through the car park, she pictured Millie's sleeping face, and rummaged in her small bag to phone Emma.

‘I've been expecting you to call!' Emma said as she answered. ‘And she's fine. Not a peep out of her. Enjoy yourself while you've got the chance. I'm not expecting you back until way past midnight.'

‘Thank you, I really appreciate it,' Grace said.

‘Don't you worry, I'm sure we'll be needing a favour from you at some stage.'

As Grace hung up, she registered the sounds of the ball again, and wondered if James and Annabel had realised that she was missing. Annabel probably won't even notice if I'm
not in the car on the way home, she thought, since she's likely to be both drunk and exhausted by then.

Grace's mother had always urged her to be a responsible older sister and look after Annabel, even though they were only thirteen months apart. She had once done so willingly, yet nowadays at times she resented her sister's devil-may-care approach to life. ‘Grace was born responsible,' her father used to say proudly. And so it appeared. Was this what she was doing now by moving back to the cottage – putting herself through all this because of some questionable notion about what ‘the right thing to do' might be? What if she didn't want to be responsible any more? Perhaps that should be her New Year's resolution, she decided, with a surge of defiance.

There was an unexpected movement behind her. She whirled around, peering back towards the trees, and saw a familiar figure vanishing behind one of them, a tall man with dark hair.

She shook her head briefly to try to re-establish reality, but it was no use – that short glimpse had stung her so hard that she broke into a run, screaming as loudly as she could, ‘Adam!'