Beneath the Ice (46 page)
The physical release had been like a catalyst. For so long, Bear had been forced to hold it all together and bury her feelings deep. Now that she was finally with Luca, it all came flooding out. Her emotions were raw and unchecked, filled with a sadness that seemed to tremble right through her, until all he could do was hold her tight.
As he embraced her, a memory began to resurface in Luca’s mind. It was of his time at the old Soviet base in Antarctica.
‘When we spoke on the satellite phone you said you had something to tell me, but you wanted to do it face to face.’
Bear gave a tight smile, then sniffed, wiping away the streaks of tears with the back of her hand. She had already decided that this was a pain she was not going to share with Luca. The miscarriage was something she had to deal with alone. Only once she had processed it herself could she contemplate sharing it with him. To tell him right now that their unborn child had been lost would only fill her with a sadness that she knew she couldn’t contain. Maybe with time, she told herself. Maybe then she might tell him the truth.
‘I was going to tell you that I wanted us to be together again,’ she replied, voice steady once more. ‘That I regretted us ever having broken up.’
Luca stared deep into her eyes, unsure if she was telling him the whole truth.
‘That’s all you wanted to say?’
Bear nodded. ‘Isn’t that enough?’
Luca remained still for a moment, looking at her, before a smile appeared on his lips. He knew not to push her for another answer right then.
‘It is enough. And now we
are
together,’ he said, before his eyes flickered towards the neighbouring room. ‘All of us, I mean.’
Bear’s smile widened, her nose wrinkling slightly as she followed the direction of Luca’s gaze. The thought of them being together as a family was something that immediately helped dispel the darkness. It was the promise of a future that was positive and filled with potential.
‘But how did you convince your ex-husband to let you have Nathan?’ Luca asked.
‘I went to see him and we ended up speaking for a long time.’ Bear shook her head. ‘Christ, those lawyers love to twist everything around and keep you fighting. Anyway, we both agreed on one thing, and that was we should do whatever was right for Nathan and that I still had a right to be in his life.’ She paused, weighing up the conversation in its entirety. ‘It’s not like Jamie’s giving me full custody or anything, but I think we can come to an agreement about visiting rights and start putting together some kind of structure.’
‘Structure would be good. I could do with a bit of that myself after all that’s happened.’
Bear nodded her agreement, then seemed to drift into silence.
‘What is it?’ Luca asked.
‘Do you think the Americans will ever let us go?’ she asked. ‘I know what Bates said, but we can’t keep running indefinitely. I just won’t live like that.’
Luca sighed, the same concerns having plagued him for most of the night.
‘The flashcard is in the open and all the information in the public domain. The bottom line is that we don’t have anything the Americans want, so why would they still come after us? They’re not about revenge. With them it’s about what happens next. As far as I can see, we’re old news.’
‘So that’s it?’
He shrugged. ‘Who knows? Nothing’s ever certain. But to my mind, it wouldn’t make any sense for them to come after us.’
After a moment’s deliberation, Bear nodded. Perhaps he was right. Besides, if she spent her entire life second-guessing the Americans, all she would do was plague herself with paranoia. Better to let them make the first move, if indeed there was one to be made.
Moving off the desk, Bear went to the wardrobe while behind her Luca finally stepped into the shower. For the longest time he let the water run over his back and shoulders, still revelling in life’s small luxuries after the deprivations of Antarctica. He started scrubbing his whole body clean with such determination that it was as if he were trying to rid himself of all the memories from the last few weeks.
Walking back into the main room with a towel around his waist, Luca found Bear sitting by the desk and staring into a mirror while she tied back her hair. She was about to say something when she suddenly noticed a brass cigarette lighter lying to one side. It looked old and well thumbed, with the metal slightly warped from age.
‘Whose is that?’ she asked, picking it up and turning it over in her hand.
Luca came up behind her. ‘I’ve got to give it to someone.’
‘Someone?’ Bear asked, wondering why he was being so cryptic.
Luca nodded. ‘I owe him that at least,’ he said, gently taking Dedov’s lighter from her grasp. ‘I’ll tell you all about it on the way.’
Turning back from the mirror, he started getting dressed. Their flight to San Diego was due to leave in three hours’ time.
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Epub ISBN: 9781409023029
Version 1.0
Published by Arrow Books 2015
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Copyright © Patrick Woodhead 2015
Patrick Woodhead has asserted his right under the Copyright, Designs and Patents Act 1988 to be identified as the author of this work
This book is a work of fiction. Any resemblance between these fictional characters and actual persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.
First published in Great Britain in 2015 by Arrow
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ISBN 9781848090798