Bending the Rules: Breaking the Rules #2 (10 page)

“I wish you would have told me
all along what your dreams and aspirations were. You had always talked about
wanting your own career, but you never mentioned wanting to go to grad school,
or making your own way. I would have supported anything you wanted to do. I
know it’s not fair to say I feel like you should have given me a say in the
matter, but it’s how I feel. We never really talked about marriage. Maybe
that’s because our parents were doing so much of the talking for us. I regret not
communicating my desires for a life together with you better. Maybe if I had,
you would have felt more comfortable expressing your desires for creating your
own path for yourself with me, I guess we will never know that.

“What I’m trying to tell you now,
Morgan, is that we’ve made our way back to each other somehow and I’m so
grateful for that. I’m completely and hopelessly in love with you, Morgan. I
have been for over six years now, and that will never change. I won’t pressure
you, but please know that you have someone right here, right now in the flesh.
A man who wants to support your dreams. A man who wants to hold you, and make
love to you. A man who will never leave you.”

“Adrian…I… I don’t know what to
say.” My voice cracks as I try desperately to find the right words.

“You don’t have to say anything,
Morgan. Just think about it…us. I’ll always be here waiting. There isn’t anyone
else for me, you’re it. All I’ve ever wanted,” Adrian says. Without warning, he
pulls me into his arms and seals my lips with a kiss so wrought with passion,
love, and even desperation, it almost brings me to my knees.

I break the kiss, still at a loss
for words, and I find myself staring at Adrian for a good minute or so before
it even dawns on me that I should say something.

“I feel like I should have the
right thing to say here. I want to tell you exactly how I’m feeling right now,
but I’m feeling so many different things in so many different ways, I no longer
know which way is up.” I pause, stealing a moment for a deep breath, and
continue.

“When we were together, I always
figured we would get married. I loved you too. It’s hard to have a relationship
end when no one has done anything wrong and our feelings haven’t changed. I
never told you about my ambitions for grad school because it wasn’t long before
you asked me to move in with you that I had applied and been accepted.” I take
another pause and steal another quick deep breath.

“I need to tell you about Drake.”

“Morgan, you don’t have to
explain anything, I get it,” Adrian interrupts me, trying to let me off the
hook from a subject he knows is so hard for me, but I have to get this out.

“I do have to explain. You need
to know where I stand, and how I feel if we have any chance at even broaching
the subject of us. I’m still in love with Drake. I always will be. I’m still
baffled by the fact that we are apart, because he literally dropped out of my
life without so much as a goodbye. Just two days before he left me, he told me
as soon as he made CEO he was going to marry me. How can you say you are going
to marry me, but then disappear? I promised Drake I would always fight for our
forever. To stay with him and believe in him always. I’m not sure where he is,
but I know in my heart he’s fighting his way back to me. I just don’t know how
long that will take. It might not ever happen. Because I never got a goodbye
from Drake I also never got closure. I don’t want to make the mistake of
waiting for my forever with Drake and never finding it. I also don’t want to
make the mistake of moving forward with you when I know my heart isn’t ready.
If we are able to eventually start again, I need you to know that I will never
be able to offer you my whole heart because Drake will always hold a piece of
it. I need you to understand that I’m not trying to be cruel, I just know
myself, and would never lie to you, or mislead you in any way.

“I’m not a wishy-washy girl, you
know that. I actually despise people that say one thing but mean another. When
Drake and I got together, we had these horrible few weeks of ups and downs,
back and forths, and it almost ruined us before we even got our start. I’ll
always be honest with you and let you know where my head and my heart stand,
because I can’t go through anything like that again.”

“What do you need from me,
Morgan? What can I do for you or say to you so that you’ll give me a chance?”
Adrian asks.

“I need patience and time. I need
you to really think about everything I have just said. I could never be with
someone knowing I’ll never have their whole heart. I’m telling you now that if
you choose to still move forward with me, you’ll never have all of mine, and
that is something that will never change. I’m sorry for the bluntness, but I
really hope you think about what I’m saying,” I offer at the end, realizing how
harsh I’ve just sounded.

“I don’t ever want you to feel
like you’re someone’s second best, someone’s backup plan,” I say. “You deserve
more than that. I can’t be with you until I’m ready to move on from Drake.
You’ll never be my second best, Adrian, because if we finally end up together,
I promise to put you first. Even though Drake will have a piece of my heart
always, if I’m ever able to move on, I promise it will be with you. That
doesn’t mean I’m saying to wait for me because I know how that feels and trust
me, that’s not fair.”

“I already told you, Morgan, you
are the one that I want. If I have to wait ten years or more for you I will.
I’ll give you a world of patience and understanding. But I’m asking in return
that you please consider what I’ve told you tonight. I love you, Morgan. I
won’t beg and plead for you, but I’ll do my best to constantly assure you that
with me, your heart will be safe. It’s getting late though, so I think I’ll
call a cab if you don’t mind me waiting here another minute or two. You look
sleepy, I don’t want to keep you up,” Adrian says.

“You’re not keeping me up. I hope
I haven’t said anything to upset you. I just need to be honest with you. I care
about you, Adrian, deeply.”

“I care about you too, Morgan,
deeply. I think we should spend some time together in a romantic setting, but I
don’t want to rush things. Like I said, I won’t pressure you. I can’t change
the way you feel, but I can take you out to a nice meal. I can hold your hand
and kiss you sweetly when I say goodnight. Would it be okay if I asked you to
date me? I’m not asking you to be my girlfriend, or commit yourself to me if
you aren’t ready. But I also realize though that we can’t really progress into
anything more if we don’t try. So what do you say, Morgan, can I take you to
dinner Tuesday night? Nothing over the top, just a nice dinner, with nice wine,
and maybe an even nicer kiss as I walk you to your door?”

“That sounds lovely, Adrian,
thank you. Let’s play the kiss by ear though. You don’t want to put any undue
pressure on it.”

“As I recall, we’ve had some
pretty hot and heavy make out sessions. Even ones that included a little heavy
petting,” he teases.

“Heavy petting? What are you,
eighty? Call your cab, Romeo, I’ll get a little more hot tea from the kettle,
it's really getting cold out. Thanksgiving is in a few days and soon the snow
will be falling!” I say with a heavy heart, realizing that I’ll be without
Drake during the holidays. I’ve been too busy lately to even think about it.

About ten minutes later, Adrian
kisses me softly on the lips as he leaves my apartment. I thank him once again
for such an amazing evening, and let him know I’m looking forward to our date
on Tuesday. Filled with emotions I’m not quite sure how to handle, I decide to
do something I haven’t done in a few weeks. I fire up my computer, and after a
few more sips of tea, I email Drake.

From: Morgan Lane

Subject: Mixed emotions this
evening

Date: November 27, 2013 23:44

To: Drake Baylor Jr.

Dear Drake,

Time really flies, doesn’t it?
It’s been a month since I last wrote. I said I’d keep you up to date with my
life. I’m sorry I haven’t been in touch. Not that it really matters, but you
know.

It has also been a month since I started
working for Adrian. I absolutely love my job. It started out a little rough
because I caught some sort of nasty flu bug, but I’m over it now and starting
to hit my stride. I love my accounts and the team I’m working with. I had my
thirty day review with Adrian yesterday. Not only did he say that I am an asset
to his company, but he gave me a raise as well! I told him I didn’t feel like a
raise was necessary, especially because I have only been at the company for a
month, but he assured me that he was really just making up for the wage he
wished he could have started me at, and I’ve signed some amazing contracts that
will more than make up for my raise. Either way, I’m happy for the validation
that I’ve done my job well and that for now I am where I’m supposed to be.

To celebrate my achievements
Adrian asked me to dinner at the club tonight. He surprised me by inviting both
our sets of parents, which was so nice because it’s been years since I’ve seen
his folks and we used to be very close. I haven’t seen my dad in a while (I saw
Mom at brunch last week of course) so it was nice to catch up all around.
Adding another surprise to the evening, Adrian also hired a band to play. The
whole dining room ended up on the dance floor! It was so much fun.

I sit here, writing to you
(translation: writing to me) and am feeling all sorts of emotions. I’m so proud
of myself for a job well done over the past month. I’m happy that I had one of
the best nights out that I’ve had since we were in Vegas together, but sad that
you weren’t with me to enjoy the moment. Mostly I feel guilty. I tried all day
to convince myself that tonight wasn’t a date with Adrian, but a celebratory
dinner. If I’m being honest though, I knew by the time I got myself dressed
that it was a date. Adrian kissed me on the cheek and forehead a few times, but
I let him kiss me on the lips twice. I feel awful. I feel awful that I let it
happen, and even more awful that I did it because I wanted to try to move on
from you.

You and I aren’t technically together.
How can we be if I haven’t heard from you in months? We never said goodbye
though. Never had our closure. Hell, we never had breakup sex, how sad is that?
L
The truth is, Drake, for us there
will never be closure. Our hearts will never lose their connection. You may be
a world apart from me or in my back yard for all I know, but I will never get
over you, or be able to move on.

Adrian poured his heart out to me
tonight. He confessed the love for me I knew he still had. He told me I’m his
forever and that he’d wait for my heart to heal. He told me he’d never leave.

I love you, Drake. You own me
body and soul. I told Adrian that I’m still in love with you, and those two
days before you left me we talked about getting married when you become CEO. I
still want that with you, Drake, SO MUCH. I also told him I’d go on a date with
him Tuesday night. I didn’t make any promises or commitments to him, I was very
honest about my feelings for you with him, but I can’t help feeling like the
town fool for giving up a promising future with an amazing guy that won’t ever
leave me while I sit around for another month or more, or forever, waiting for
you to come home. I want happiness, Drake, and for the first time in the months
spent without you, I was happy tonight. I want that feeling to continue. I wish
you could hold me right now and tell me everything will be okay and that you’ll
be home soon. For now, I’ll just tell you that I love you, and I miss
you…really miss you, and I hope that wherever you are, you are okay.

My love always,

Morgan xo

Chapter 10

Drake

From: Drake Baylor Jr.

Subject: A whole bag of crazy
mixed up emotions

Date: November 28, 2013 08:13

To: Morgan Lane

My dearest Morgan,

God, where do I begin?

First, let me say how much I love
you and miss you and am in agony without you. I’ll wait till we are together
again to give you the long sordid details, but I’ll tell you now that I’m fine.
I’m in Zurich for six more months (hopefully less, but I doubt it). My father
found out about us (you can thank your new boss for that one) and instead of
firing us both and ruining our careers and everything we’ve built for ourselves
and our future together, I made a deal with him that I would spend nine months
here cleaning up the mess he made with our European division in exchange for
your job to remain at Baylor. If I do that without breaking the rules, I will
become CEO of Baylor Industries and my dad will retire.

I’m coming back to you my love,
as soon as I am able to. I’m so incredibly sorry for everything you’ve been
through these last three months or so. I’m so sorry you were ill and I wasn’t
there to comfort you and bring you chicken soup, draw you a bath, and all of
the other things a wonderful boyfriend-not-boyfriend does for the woman he
loves.

I love you, Morgan Lane. I wish I
could hold you in my arms right now and tell you that. Please for now just
believe that I’m doing everything I can to come back to you. I’m here fighting
every minute of every day for you. For us.

I understand your confusion about where we stand. In my mind
and in my heart we are very much together. I hate the thought of you being with
Adrian in any sense of the word but I understand your need for comfort. Please
don’t give up on me, baby. Please continue to fight. Your heart is telling you
that we belong together. Keep listening.

I don’t know if I’ll be able to write again. If I don’t,
I’ll be home in six months. I’ll marry you in seven if you’ll have me. Don’t
worry, you’ll get a much better proposal. For now, that’s just a promise. My
love to you, Morgan. Always.

Yours madly and truly forever,

Drake XO

It is taking all of my willpower not to send this email. I
have held my tongue, played by the rules, and completely turned this division of
Baylor industries around and it has gotten me nowhere. I’ve been here for three
fucking months waiting for the moment I can finally get on a plane and head
home to Morgan. Her email tore me to shreds. I need to start praying to someone
or something a hell of a lot bigger than me and thank them for keeping Morgan’s
hope and faith in me alive.

It’s time to do whatever I can to take control of this
situation. With a heavy heart I save the email to my drafts folder and shut my
computer down.

It’s too early to call anyone in the States and if I want
everything in this new plan to go smoothly I need to have all of my ducks in a
row. I need to head into the office for a few hours and get everything in place
on my end then simply make a phone call and put it into action.

****

I have been at work for a few hours now, and have set in
motion a string of events that will take place starting with a phone call to my
father to let him know we will no longer use Thompson Manufacturing as our main
source for the European division of Baylor Industries. We have another local
Swiss company that we should be using as it benefits the local economy. Our
cost to work with either company is about even; the Swiss company’s prices are
a little higher but even after the deal we get with Thompson Manufacturing it
costs a ton of money and time to get it shipped here and cleared by customs.

I’m doing this to send a clear message to Adrian that I’m in
control over in Europe and soon that will be the same for the entire company.
I’m leaving our US ties in place so that Thompson can still remain afloat,
guaranteeing that Morgan’s job won’t be in jeopardy. I want him to realize that
in making this change myself I’m close to becoming CEO, which also means that
his time with Morgan is coming to a close, as are his company’s ties with
Baylor Industries. Soon I’ll be coming home to helm the corporation that is
meant to be mine and Morgan will be by my side when it happens.

Adrian lied to Morgan, telling her he had nothing to do with
my departure and never told my father about us. He has snaked his way back into
her life and is now lying to her to get her back. At one point in my life I may
have used other means to forget about the heartache this is causing me. This
time around, I’m using my love, devotion, and undying need to return to Morgan
as strength to claim what should have been mine a long time ago.

“Good morning, Son, or in your case I should say good
afternoon,” my father answers the phone a little more chipper than normal.

“Good morning, you sound like you’re in a good mood today,”
I answer in an upbeat yet business tone. I have to remind myself that this
conversation is going to remain in my control. I am giving my father
information, not options.

“I’m surprised you are calling me
from a business line on a Sunday, is there a problem?”

“No, Dad, no problem. Quite the
opposite really,” I say.

“I’m intrigued, go on,” my father
says, and I can tell he thinks I’ve called to tell him yet another way I have
found to stop the revenue bleed from this division and generate some more
income for our company. The last few phone calls I have placed to my father
have been for that reason exactly.

“I’m calling to let you know that
I have set up a meeting with the owner of Bodmer Manufacturing. They are a
local manufacturing company that will replace our European ties with Thompson.
Of course, all US manufacturing needs will still go to Thompson, but we are
spending far too much money and time shipping everything here. I’ve been
crunching the numbers and although we won’t be saving a ton of money at first
with this deal, we will be saving a lot of time. The turnaround on our end will
be a lot quicker and will eventually make us a great deal of money.”

“Your job over there is to figure
out what the loss of income is and fix it. Not sever the ties we are just now
forming. That looks bad for business, Drake. Why would other companies want to
partner with us if there is a possibility that in just a few months’ time they
could have half the deal fall through?” My dad argues.

“I’ve done a lot over the past
few months to quickly stop the financial losses and am now looking at the
long-term. This is a great move that needs to be done as soon as possible to
make sure our loss prevention measures are put in place for the future as well
as guaranteed income. Partnering with Bodmer only strengthens our business and
appearance to the public and future partnering endeavors. By cutting Thompson
from Europe, they can focus entirely on their US contracts with us, making them
more efficient. Also, partnering with a Swiss manufacturing company over here
creates more jobs and strengthens the local economy as I’ve already said, and
boosts public image.”

“That makes sense, Son, but are
you sure this urgency on a Sunday has nothing to do with the public display
Adrian Thompson was making with Morgan last night at the country club? I’m
pretty sure he was staking his claim.”

With a sigh meant to come off as
agitation, not jealousy, I reply to my dad, “No, Dad, I know nothing about that.
I’m half way around the world completely cut off from everything and everyone
as you might recall. I haven’t been in communication with Morgan either. This
is about me doing the best job I can do right now to set myself up for running
this corporation the way it is meant to be run. I plan on starting my tenure as
CEO in the near future so start planning your retirement party now. I’m holding
my end of the bargain up, Dad. I’m following the rules. I’m just letting you
know that your residual share payouts will now be a hell of a lot larger in the
future thanks to me.”

There is a moment of silence on
the phone and I’m waiting for my father’s response when he finally clears his
throat on his end and speaks, “Well, finally. I’ve been waiting for the moment
when you prove to me you have the balls big enough to run a Fortune 500
corporation. I’m still not convinced though, Son. You still need time. Have the
meeting with Bodmer and report back before you notify Thompson.
You
will
be the one to notify Thompson, by the way. You can’t make a move that big and
hide away safely around the world while someone else notifies the company we
just promised a big future together that we are cutting our agreement by half.”

“That’s fine, Dad, me and my big
balls will get the job done. Always do.” And with that I hang up, maintaining
the control of the conversation by having the last word. My father had already
tried to swing the conversation towards Morgan to trip me up and I successfully
turned it around, but I wasn’t willing to open myself up for any more scrutiny.

****

To celebrate my small victory, I decide to stop in for a
quick beer at a local pub on the way home. This place tries to replicate an
American sports bar, but not to any great success. It has a great burger and
some pretty good beers on tap and it always has a game on from the States, so I
like to pop in when I’m feeling a little homesick. While sipping on my beer I
decide to give Garrett a call and check in on my girl. I know how she was feeling
after her evening with Adrian and her parents last night, but I want to get an
outsider’s perspective on how she’s doing on the whole.

“Hey, Drake. How’s it going?” Garrett answers with what
sounds like a frog in his throat.

“Dude, its mid-morning over there, did I wake you up?” I
ask, knowing Garrett is usually an early riser.

“No, I’ve been awake for a while. I had a long night last
night so I’m feeling a little worn out today, that’s all.”

“Are you staying clean? Is everything okay?”

“Yeah, Drake, everything is gravy. I’m still clean too.
Amanda was over last night, that’s all. Man, that little minx has an appetite,
if you know what I mean. She likes it rough too. That’s why I’m so worn out. It
was a loooooong night,” Garrett says with a small chuckle.

“Oh I get it. She likes it rough huh, damn! I’m glad those
crazy days are behind me. So, are you two a thing now then?”

“Yeah, I guess you could call it that. I gave her a call
right after she left her card in her bowling shoe. That was what, like two
months ago now? So we went out, and have been hanging out ever since.”

“That’s awesome, Garrett, I’m happy for you. Amanda is a
good girl. She’s a great friend to Morgan so she’s got my vote.”

“Thanks. She makes me happy and doesn’t judge me for my past
shit. She’s really smart too and has been helping me with the bowling alley,
showing me different ways I can improve it, things like that.”

“She sounds perfect for you. So uh, have you seen Morgan
around much lately?” I ask, feeling badly for always turning the conversation
around to Morgan, but I guess that was the purpose of the burner phones in the
first place.

“No I haven’t. I guess she had some crazy stomach bug that
wouldn’t go away for a bit, and since she started feeling better she’s been
working like a mad woman. Amanda says she has barely seen her in the last two
months but was planning on stopping by her place today to hang for a bit.”

“Yeah, she emailed me and said she hadn’t been feeling very
well. I hate to think that she was going through that on her own but I’m glad
she’s doing better.”

“I think she’s doing alright, Drake. She texted Amanda
saying she had gotten a raise at work and that things are going great. That’s
why Amanda was going to stop by, she wants to – and this is a direct quote here
– ‘have a little girl-hang and celebrate with some bubbly’.”

“Yeah, that sounds like our girls all right. Who would have
thought you and I would end up best buds after all the shit we’ve been through
and then make the cliché move of dating best friends?” I joke.

“Well, it could be worse, I could be dating some asshole’s
best friend, then I’d be stuck hating life trying to make conversation with him
while our girls hang out.”

“That’s a good point. When I get back we can hang out and I
promise not to be an asshole. Well, not all the time anyway.”

“Sounds good, man,” Garrett says with a laugh. “Hey, I have
to go shower my long night of amazing sex off of me then head to the bowling
alley. Amanda gave me the idea to offer half off beer with league play on Sundays
and now the place is place is busy on an otherwise dead day and my kegs don’t
go stale. I’ll give you a call if I see Morgan.”

“Cool, thanks. I’m really glad you’re happy, Garrett, you
deserve it. Watch out for my girl as usual,” I say, feeling a little jealous
but happy that my friend gets to spend long nights between the sheets with his
girl.

“Will do. Don’t worry, Drake, you’ll be home soon enough,”
Garrett says before hanging up, practically reading my mind. I finish my beer
and head out a little while later. For the first time since landing here a few
months ago I’m feeling a little optimistic. Perhaps I might just end up with
everything I want, including the girl.