Bender (4 page)

As we walked up to the steps, Macie leaned over and whispered, “He sounded normal on the phone right?”

She seemed as nervous as I felt. “Yes.”

I knocked on the door twice and stood back to wait. I heard someone moving through the house before the door swung open. A tall, skinny, blond guy stood in front of me with a big grin on his face. He puffed out some air to blow his long shaggy locks out of his eyes and then reached out to shake hands.

“Hey I’m Seth, you must be Keegan.”

I held out my hand and said, “Actually, I’m Keegan. This is my friend Macie.”

I didn’t know whether I should be offended that he assumed Macie was me, or if he had high hopes when he opened the door that my tall brunette bombshell of a best friend could be his potential roommate. Either way, I watched his smile falter a bit, and I knew I was right. Well, that was strike one against him. He quickly righted himself and shook my outstretched hand.

“Nice to meet you Keegan. Please, come in. I apologize for the mess. I just got out of class, and I didn’t have time to clean up very much before you got here.” He turned and made his way into what I assumed to be the living room.

I looked around the place and saw empty pizza boxes and beer cans strewn all about. It smelled like sweaty gym socks, and his furniture consisted of two lawn chairs and a television that sat atop of a couple of stacked pallets. There was a couch in the center of the wall upholstered in fabric covered with burnt orange flowers. It reminded me of something that would have been popular in the seventies.

Strike two.

“You can have a seat if you’d like.” He pointed to the lawn chair.

I looked over at Macie and tried not to laugh. “That’s okay. So can you tell me a little bit more about the place, and the room I’d be renting?”

“Room? This house is a one bedroom with a living room, kitchen, and bathroom. I have the bedroom, and you’d get the couch. But no worries about all your clothes and stuff. That closet behind you has plenty of space for those plastic Tupperware drawers.”

Was he serious? Judging by the way he was looking at me, he was every bit serious. I swallowed hard. Oh boy, this wasn’t good. “Uhhh… would you be willing to give me the bedroom so I could have a little bit more privacy?”

He glanced from Macie, whom he clearly was checking out, back to me. “Look, if you’re worried about privacy, don’t worry about that. I have a TV in my room so when it’s time for you to sleep, I can just go back there. You can change in the bathroom, and I’ll make sure the guys from my fraternity don’t bother you when they are over. Ground rules will be laid out, and your stuff won’t be messed with.”

My mouth was hanging open by this point. “You can’t be serious. This is a joke right? I’m being Punked. Macie,” I turned to look at her, “cut the crap. You set this up, right?”

She bit her lip to keep from laughing. “No honey, I had nothing to do with this. I think Seth here is dead serious.”

“What are you two talking about? It’s a pretty sweet deal if you ask me. One of my frat brothers wanted the couch, but I told him it depended on what you thought. And truthfully, I sorta wanted a chick as a roomy.” He grinned at me.

I shivered, grossed out. He genuinely thought I would take the offer. I didn’t know if he was just stupid, on crack, or a combination of both, but there wasn’t a woman on earth who would accept no privacy, plastic drawers, and not having her own bathroom.

Strike three.

“Unfortunately Seth, I don’t think this is what I am looking for. But I do hope you find the right roommate.” I turned to walk toward the front door, and Macie followed behind me.

“Well, if you or your friend ever change your mind, or are looking for a party, hit me up.”

Macie turned toward him and gave him a salute. “Will do Sethy.”

We shut the door and all but ran to the car. When we got into the Beamer I looked at her as she looked at me, and we both burst out laughing. She was putting the car in reverse, and I was never happier to leave a place.

“Oh dear God,” I said wiping my eyes. “I feel sorry for the person who takes the couch. I’m pretty sure I saw the cushions moving.”

She was in hysterics. “Stop, stop, I have to pee.”

We laughed a bit more before she settled enough to say, “Okay, where’s the next place?”

I gave her the address, and we were off to meet possible roommate number two.

This place was a bit better. It was a couple of miles south of the university, which was still okay. I couldn’t necessarily walk to school or work, but driving wasn’t so bad. It was a smaller apartment complex that appeared to be well kept. Granted, the building was a tad outdated, but that didn’t mean the inside was shoddy. If there was one thing I knew, it was to never judge a book by its cover.

“This one is for the girl right?” Macie asked as she got out of the car.

“Yup.” I looked down on the piece of paper I wrote her apartment number on. “She said she lived on the bottom floor on the corner.”

We walked past a couple of doors before I found the number she’d given me. I knocked, and we waited. And we waited…and we waited some more.

“Are we early?” Macie looked at her phone.

“No, she told me she’d be here. Let me knock again.” I put my fist up and pounded on the door with the padded side of my hand.

When the door opened, a short girl with jet black hair and a nose ring answered. Her eyes were caked with black eyeliner and her lipstick was… holy crap was that purple? She didn’t say anything, she was just staring. I felt like her eyes were laser pointers, and she was shooting me with her death rays. Ack! I was already uncomfortable. Needing to break the awkward silence, I stepped forward and held out my hand.

“Hi, I’m Keegan, I called about the apartment.”

She looked down and then back up at me. “Who’s that?” Her head tipped toward Macie.

“That’s my friend Macie, she’s tagging along.”

She looked Macie up and down, and then did the same to me. She must have deemed us acceptable, because she stepped aside and let us in. As I walked through the entryway hall, I heard music, if you could call it that. With each step I took, it got louder and louder. At first I thought, what an unusually long hallway, but when we got into the open living room, the better question was, how on earth did we not hear this racket from outside? There were drums set up in one corner with a guy sitting behind them, a microphone a few feet in front of the drums that another guy with a Mohawk was screaming into, and a person behind a guitar. I couldn’t say whether or not said person was a guy or girl… those people Macie and I called Pat. Either a Patrick or a Patty, but you didn’t know which. Turning around I looked at the girl who let us in. I oddly found myself hoping she was the possible roommate. She seemed less scary than Drummer boy, Mohawk Man, or Pat.

When the screaming/singing stopped, I asked Goth Girl, “Are you Jennifer?” I almost laughed at the sweet name for her.

“Yes. These are my bandmates. I’ll just start off by telling you that we practice every single day from three till seven, sometimes later. The manager let us soundproof the space when we moved in.”

Macie mumbled under her breath, “That explains it.” I bit my lip to stifle my laugh.

“Your room would be in the back. No overnight guests, if your friends have an issue with anybody in my band, you’re gone, and I hope you’re not a morning person because I sleep till noon.”

Why was she still scowling at me like she wanted to pinch my head between her thumb and pointer fingers? “O-kay,” I drew out. “Would you mind if I opened the blinds at least? It’s pretty dark in here.”

If looks could kill… “I’d rather you not. I like the dark. Dark makes me feel things, and then I write about it. The blinds stay closed.”

This was obviously not going to work out, and I wasn’t even interested in seeing the bedroom. “I think I’m going to have to keep looking Jennifer. I’m probably too much of a morning person for you, I like sunlight, and I’m sure I’d be too noisy. Oh, and I thrive off of country music.” I added the last bit because I knew Macie was about to lose it.

“K. You know where the door is.” She turned back toward the band, and they started their shouty singing again. Jennifer had effectively dismissed Macie and me like it was no sweat off her back.

I grabbed Macie’s hand and hightailed it back down the long hallway and out into the sunlight. I took a deep breath in, not realizing I was feeling claustrophobic in the dark confines of the apartment.

“Holy shit, Keegan, I think you have hit the motherload of weirdos today.”

“Geez that was creepy and I was oddly afraid for my life. By the way, what was your verdict on the Pat?” I asked.

Her grin spread. “I’m leaning toward chick. I was close to asking her to drop her pants so I could see.”

“Hardy-har.” We got into her car and sat there for a few minutes. I leaned forward and put my face in my hands. I dug my palms into my eyes and rubbed hard. What if they were all like this? I’d rather just stick it out at my mom’s if they were.

“Stop it. I can practically hear your mind working over there. Knock it off. We have this last place to go to, and they say third time’s the charm right?” Macie was trying to be optimistic.

“Or three strikes you’re out.”

She rolled her eyes. “The last place is by the school right? The Ridgewood Apartments?”

“Yup.”

“Well, let’s go. I have a feeling about this one.”

Yeah, me too. Except my feeling was that I was going to be living with my mother for the next two years until I graduate.

We drove the few miles back toward campus and parked in front of the apartment complex. This was a place that I frequently passed by but had never been to. The grounds were well-maintained, there was a clubhouse that probably housed a small gym, and there was an outdoor pool and hot tub. No way would I be using those part of the facilities. I wasn’t a super big girl by any means, but I was pretty average. I wore a size ten jeans and had more than enough tits and ass, but I was very self-conscious about my body and curves. No bikinis for me.

After the last two disastrous interviews, I wasn’t holding my breath for this one. The apartment number I was given was on the second floor. I looked at Macie and took a deep breath. Just before I knocked the door opened. Air whooshed around me and I caught a smell that was so mouthwatering my knees almost buckled. It was some sort of soap and a light aftershave. My eyes traveled up the long lean legs that clearly belonged to a man. The further up my eyes went, the more I liked what I saw. Gym shorts covered a trim waist and a plain white Nike t-shirt was stretched over a muscled chest. When I finally reached the face of the person in front of me, all the air that had filled me before left my lungs in a rush. This guy had piercing blue eyes and dark hair that was disheveled from just getting out of the shower. I didn’t have to look over at Macie to know that her jaw was hanging open like mine. Mister Hottie Pants gave us a delicious smirk that caused me to reach out for the door frame. He knew he was good looking, and I was hit too stupid to remember that I normally hated these kinds of guys.

More awkward silence ensued before he held out his hand and said, “Hi, I’m Dodger, which one of you is Keegan?”

M
ACIE
NUDGED
ME
WITH
HER
ELBOW
. Dodger noticed, and his smirk turned into a full megawatt smile. How was it possible for someone to have teeth like that? All white and shiny and straight… I continued to stare. Macie nudged me again, except harder this time.

I coughed and cleared my throat. Oh dear God I was a deer in the headlights that got smacked in the forehead by some
way
too hot dude who knew I was checking him out. This was my future roommate, and I was ready to sign up. He needed me to sleep on the couch-check. If he needed the house to stay dark during the day-check. If he needed to sleep till noon and bring over guys that looked like him on a regular basis-double check. Oh Jesus, he was still standing there with his hand out waiting for me to take it.
Get with the program Keegan
, I scolded myself.