Believing Binda (6 page)

****

Binda slowly opened her eyes. Sunlight streamed in the window
highlighting the two massive guard dragons in the room. Not wanting to wake
either animal she very carefully rolled onto her side so she could have a good
look at them. They were so damn big. Their large bodies were all muscle,
covered with healthy looking shiny scales. The deep green was so vibrant. With
their wings folded neatly against their bodies and their snouts tucked in
behind their tails, which were wrapped around their side, they looked almost
feline.

Even as they
slept she felt drawn to go to them. As if her life depended on her being near
them. She struggled to fight her instincts that were screaming at her, but she
couldn’t give in. She would not throw herself at
either
brother
, whether they were in human or dragon form. She was not that
girl anymore, the one who did whatever it took to get a man to notice her. She
could do life on her own. Plus, now she'd started researching in the library,
she had a project to keep her busy. She really wanted to get back to her books
and learn about the Great Wind. She’d started to wonder if there was a way to
control it.

She gasped as a
large blue eye opened and focused on her. Both dragons raised their massive
heads and looked at her. Caught in their gazes she lost all ability to resist
them. The pull was too great. She slipped from the bed and walked over toward
where they lay. She managed to gain control over her feet as she stood between
them. She crossed her arms, trapping her hands under her upper arms, holding
them tight against her ribs. It was the only way to stop from reaching out to
them. Why couldn't she resist them?

"This is
insanity. I should have control over my own damn body!"

Two bright
flashes had her stumbling backward in shock. She landed on her butt on the
thick carpet, and a sob broke free.
I
can’t stay here.
She scrambled to her feet and bolted for the safety of the
bathroom before either one could reach her.

She jammed the
door with the toothbrush again before she stripped out of her nightshirt and
got in the shower. The hot water pouring over her helped ease her body, but her
mind was being stubborn, hanging onto all the turmoil. Her tears mixed with the
water and flowed down the drain. She let go of her restraint and allowed
herself to fall apart in the privacy of the bathroom.

She wept out all
the chaos in her mind.
Her anger at herself for her stupid
choices in men that made it impossible for her to give in to her attraction to
Baxter and Zane.
Grief for the loss of her parents and everything she
knew back on Earth. Relief that Becky and Eilagh had been rescued in time,
before the rogue dragons could hurt them and that Carina had finally woken up.

Her body
shuddered beneath the warm spray as she let it all drain away. By the time she
was wiping herself down afterward, her eyes were dry and she felt strangely
hollow inside, almost detached from her emotions.
Like it was
the chaos that had been filling her out.
Now all those dramas were
neatly stacked on a shelf in the back of her mind and no longer all tangled
together in the center of her brain.

****

The bathroom door
creaked
a little as it opened,
and his beautiful Desired stepped out of the steam that billowed from the open
doorway. Zane was sitting next to Baxter on the mattress and was sure they both
looked as miserable as they felt. Neither had slept well knowing she had been
so close yet so unattainable. He frowned at the blank expression on her face as
she all but glided into the walk-in closet wearing nothing but a towel.

"Something's
wrong with her, Baxter."

"Yeah.
I saw. Almost looks like she's in shock. Let's take
her to breakfast. Hopefully a stomach full of food will help."

Zane winced as
he voiced his concern. "She doesn't want to want us. What if she rejects
us for good?"

Baxter gripped
his shoulder firmly. "It's not an option. We have to win over her
heart."

Looking into his
brother's determined gaze, Zane could almost believe they would be all right at
the end of all this.

"I'm going
to meet with Dimitri today about recruiting help. I'm sure he'll understand our
position."

Binda coming
into the room ended their conversation. Zane stood taller and grinned as he
took in the stunning green and blue gown she wore. Finally, she was in their
colors, and she looked resplendent.

"You look
amazing, precious one. Shall we go have some breakfast? Your friends are all
probably there by now."

She didn't look
either of them in the eye as she nodded and headed to the door.

Fear had a vise grip
on his heart as they entered the dining hall and allowed Binda to choose a
seat. He frowned as she sat a ways down the table from the other females.

Warriors, is there something wrong with Binda?

Dimitri's
concerned voice in his mind had him even more worried. It wasn't his and
Baxter's imagination if Dimitri could pick up on it from across the room.

We're not sure, Dimitri. With all the injuries and
monitoring Carina we haven't had much time with our Desired.

Yes, that has been most unfortunate, Baxter. I believe
we need to begin recruiting others to assist you both. I know you've turned me
down in the past, but now you have a Desired.

I was going to speak with you about that very thing
later today.

Both of you start writing a list of those you think
suitable. I'll do the same, and we'll meet later today to confirm who we'll
approach.

Thank you, Dimitri.

Zane kept out of
the conversation, letting Baxter as the eldest take on the task of conferring
with Dimitri. Plus, he was busy watching how Binda was acting. She had a spacey
looking smile on her face as she slowly ate.

Baxter, I think she's gone into emotional shock.

I guess that's not so surprising. All these females
have had a few very eventful days.

We need to get her talking, right?

I think we need to help her feel safe first. Then help
her open up. Remember, touch is important as well.

Can we use the library? She was totally engrossed
there yesterday. Maybe that will help ground her.

Yes, with what she told you about how she worked with
books back on Earth, they would definitely form a familiar atmosphere for her
and help her feel safe.

Well, she's finished eating. Let's go with her. We can
find the medical books about females and their health issues. We're going to
need to brush up on our knowledge about a lot of things now.

Baxter lightly
slapped him on the back.
Excellent
idea, brother.

"How about
we head to the library, Binda?"

She hummed a
little as she rose from her seat and headed out the room. Zane watched her walk
down the hallway ahead of them. He sent up a prayer to the Goddess that they
could break through the shell she'd created around herself. He and Baxter
rarely spoke of the time after the liaths had released their disease. It was a
time they wished they could carve from their memories. But neither of them
would ever forget.

They had tried to
cure the illness as they watched their precious mother pass away before them, and
then their sister was gone. Back then, the clan had been considerably bigger.
They'd had four female healers that worked alongside them. But even with all
six of them looking, they couldn't find a cure. They could barely keep up with
dispensing pain medications as the illness ripped apart their females from the
inside out. The elderly were dying but at a faster rate as their weakened
bodies couldn't take the torture for as long as the younger, healthy females
could.

Zane knew, deep
within him, that neither he nor Baxter would survive losing another female they
cared for. They wouldn't last the weeks it would take for insanity to take them
over. The pain of their hearts and souls dying would finish the job so much
faster.

****

Feeling like she was floating, Binda entered the library. She took a few
deep breaths of the leather scented air before she took her seat in the center.
The book she'd been about to start yesterday rested on the table, and she
gathered it up in her palms. It was so heavy in her grip. She looked down at
the cover and waited for her hazy vision to focus. For some reason her world
was all slightly foggy since her shower.

She curled her
legs up under her as she opened the first page and began reading. For a while
the words didn't make sense. Her brain refused to recognize them. Then about
halfway through the second page, some switch clicked, and it all made sense.
She was reading about the Goddess. This first part was describing what she
looked like.
With golden skin and hair,
the color of her sacred honey, her eyes black as night.

She certainly
sounded like she'd be a stunning woman, and Binda idly wondered what she'd wear
or if she just waltzed around in the nude. Turning the page to the next chapter
she began reading all about bees and the mythology behind them. Apparently they
did more than simply make honey. Created from the Goddess' tears, they kept her
protected where she lived in Neamh. They could move among the natural world,
Neamh, and the underworld. According to what she was reading, it was bees that
escorted departed souls to their final destination. That certainly lined up
with what she knew of various ancient Earth mythologies that stated bees were
the symbols of immortality and resurrection. She was suddenly very grateful for
all the hours she’d spent researching various cultures on Earth.

She moved
forward to the next chapter, which went into the importance of honey, beginning
with explaining how lips anointed with honey would receive the gift of
eloquence.

"Wow. Never
gonna
look at honey the same again."

"What was
that, beautiful?"

Binda nearly
dropped the book as she gasped in shock. She'd completely forgotten she wasn't
alone. Feeling her cheeks heat she tentatively glanced up to see both Baxter
and Zane sitting across from her. Each had a book in their laps, open part way
indicating they'd been reading with her. She smiled a little as her heart
softened toward them. Unlike all her past boyfriends, they didn't get
frustrated with her getting lost in research. They’d simply chosen a book for
themselves and sat with her. She frowned as she felt the neat rows of emotions
in her mind shift on their shelves. She couldn't release all of them. There
were too many. Slamming the door shut on them all, she focused back on what
she'd learned.

"Ah, I'm
reading about the link between the Goddess and bees. I didn't realize how much
mythology is based around the insect. On Earth we see bees as honey makers, and
that's about it. Well, aside from their stinging ability. I'm allergic to
beestings, so I've always stayed away from them personally."

"Here on
Feury, bees are most scared. They are vital for pollination of crops and plants,
but they are also seen as cleansers. That's why the orchard is where it is.
After the liaths were dealt with, the land where the Great Wind left them was
seen as being tainted by evil. No one would go near it. Apple trees were
planted and beehives erected at the end of each row. Even after the orchard
grew to maturity, not many would venture down there. Guessing now that it's the
place that brought us five lovely
females,
we'll have
dozens of warriors sitting down there waiting for their
Desireds
to be brought to them."

Baxter finished
with a chuckle, and Binda had to admit the thought of a heap of big men sitting
around waiting for the Great Wind delivery service would be more than a little
funny to see.

"Why'd you
pick that book, beautiful?"

Zane's question
threw her for a moment. Why had she started reading it?

"Ah,
yesterday when I was walking around the room, I was running my fingers over the
books when I felt a jolt up my arm. I pulled the book out and started reading.
That one was about the creation of Feury, Earth, and Dubhghlas. When I
finished, I was curious about the Goddess's link to the Great Wind. Why she
allowed the liaths to use it for evil, when previously it was used to
save."

"I haven't
heard that story since I was a young child. We should all read more often. We could
have been missing important information all these years simply because we've
been telling ourselves we're too busy to sit and relax with a book. Will you
share with us if you find the answer? You've spiked my curiosity with where
this research could lead us."

"Sure. What
are you and Baxter reading?"

"We're
reading medical texts. We need to brush up on our knowledge of how to treat
female illnesses."

She felt her
cheeks heat again. Of course they'd need to refresh their knowledge. It had
been several years since they'd had any women to worry about.