Being (30 page)

He glanced over at Hayes and nodded his head. Hayes let Eddi go, but kept the gun on her.

‘Sit down over there,’ she told her. ‘On the settee.’

Eddi stared at Hayes for a moment, then she walked over to the settee and sat down opposite Ryan. Hayes went over and stood behind her. Eddi glanced over at the bedroom door, then quickly looked away again.

Ryan smiled at her. ‘If you’re thinking of going after your gun, Miss Ray, I’m afraid we’ve already removed it.’ He showed her the pistol in his hand, letting her see that it was hers. ‘Anyway,’ he continued, ‘it’s nice to meet you at last, Eddi. Do you mind if I call you Eddi? Or would you prefer Maria? Or Jennifer, or Sheila…?’

Eddi said nothing, just stared at him.

He gazed back at her for a while, then he looked up at me. ‘How much does she know, Robert?’

‘Why don’t you ask her?’ I said. ‘She’s sitting right in front of you.’

‘I’m asking you – how much does she know?’

‘I know everything,’ Eddi said to him.

Ryan ignored her, keeping his eyes on me. ‘It must have been very hard for you, Robert, living a lie all this time. It must have taken a lot out of you.’ His eyes narrowed. ‘Or maybe it wasn’t so hard? I suppose it all depends on whether or not you have any human feelings – contrition, remorse… empathy.’ He smiled again. ‘Do you have any feelings, Robert? Does it work like that?’

I could feel Eddi looking at me now, her eyes filled with questions, and I wanted to look back at her and say – I was going to tell you, honestly. I was going to tell you tonight. I was going to tell you
everything
…

But it was too late for that now. It was too late for everything.

‘Eddi doesn’t know anything,’ I told Ryan. ‘She doesn’t have anything to do with this. Why don’t you just let her go?’

Ryan said nothing.

‘If you let her go,’ I said, ‘I’ll cooperate with you. I’ll talk to you… I’ll tell you everything I know. I’ll do whatever you want.’

Ryan smiled and shook his head. ‘You’re going to do whatever we want anyway, Robert. We don’t need your cooperation. And, besides, Miss Ray has valuable information about you…
intimate
information, if your shared bedroom is anything to go by.’

‘What are you?’ Eddi spat at him. ‘Some kind of pervert?’

He still didn’t look at her, he just carried on staring at me, and I could tell that Eddi was about to snap. He was treating her as if she didn’t exist, and she just couldn’t stand it any more.

‘No, Eddi –’ I started to say.

But she’d already started to lunge at Ryan, leaning forward and trying to snatch the pistol from his hand. Ryan barely looked at her. He just sat there and watched as Hayes reached out, grabbed Eddi by the hair and yanked her back into the settee. Eddi twisted round and swung her fist at Hayes, but Hayes just leaned back and dodged it. In the same movement, she grabbed Eddi by the hair again and slammed her head against the back of the settee. The blow wasn’t hard enough to knock Eddi out, but it was enough to knock the fight out of her.

There was nothing I could do. Kelly had got hold of me as soon as he’d seen Eddi going for Ryan, and now both men were holding me by the arms, stopping me from moving.

‘Eddi!’ I called out, straining to get to her. ‘Eddi… are you all right?’ She was slumped on the settee, dazed and groaning, holding her head in her hands. ‘Eddi!’ I yelled again, screaming like a madman.
‘Eddi!’

‘She’s all right,’ Ryan said dismissively. ‘She’s not hurt.’

I glared at him. ‘You’re dead if she is.’

He stared at me, a slight smile playing on his face. I stared back at him for a moment, then turned away and gazed over at Eddi again. She’d stopped groaning now. She was just sitting there, perfectly still, her eyes fixed coldly on the curtained window behind Ryan. Blurred flashes of distant fireworks were showing through the curtains and I could still hear the booming crashes echoing around the village, but it all seemed a long way away now. It was out there, and out there was a different world.

‘All right,’ I heard Ryan say, ‘let’s get this done.’

I looked over at him. He’d got up out of his chair and was talking to Hayes and the two men. ‘And remember,’ he said, ‘I want them both alive, but don’t take any chances. I’d rather get them back dead than not get them back at all. OK?’

His colleagues nodded.

‘Right,’ said Ryan, ‘you know what to do. Let’s do it.’

Across the room, I saw Hayes take a hypodermic syringe from a metal case, and almost immediately I realized that Kelly was holding a syringe too. As he raised it to the light and tapped the barrel, Cooper grabbed me tightly round the chest, pinning my arms to my sides. I didn’t do anything for a moment, I just stood there, feeling the power of his arms. But when I looked over at Eddi and saw Ryan holding her down and Hayes leaning over her, preparing to stick the needle in her arm, I suddenly went berserk – screaming and yelling, trying to break free, kicking out at Cooper, stamping on his feet, hurling my head back at him… I did everything I could to break his grip, but he barely even flinched. He just stood there like a rock, his arms wrapped tightly round my chest, squeezing the life out of me. I couldn’t move. Couldn’t do anything.

Over at the settee, Ryan had grabbed Eddi’s wrist now and Hayes had the tip of the needle pressed against her arm. As I yelled out desperately again –
‘No!’ –
Eddi’s head suddenly lurched forward and she heaved, as if she was going to be sick. Hayes instinctively jerked away from her, but Ryan barely moved. As Eddi gulped and heaved again, Ryan kept hold of her and looked coolly at Hayes.

‘Do it,’ he told her.

‘She’s going to throw up,’ Hayes said.

‘Just do it.’

Eddi was pale now, her face dripping with sweat. ‘Oh, God…’ she groaned. ‘I need the bathroom… I’m going to…’ She retched again, this time lurching towards Ryan. He flinched slightly, keeping out of her way, but he still didn’t let go of her.

‘Come on,’ he said to Hayes. ‘What are you waiting for?’

‘Sir,’ Hayes said calmly, ‘I think we should let her use the bathroom. If she’s sick when she’s unconscious, she might choke on her own vomit.’

Ryan thought about it.

‘We want her alive, sir,’ Hayes reminded him.

He gave it some more thought, then nodded. ‘All right… take her to the bathroom. But leave your gun here and don’t let her out of your sight.’ He let go of Eddi and took Hayes’s pistol. Hayes put the syringe back in the metal case, dropped the case in her pocket, then helped Eddi to her feet and started walking her to the bathroom.

Ryan looked over at me.

Cooper was still holding me, and Kelly still had the syringe in his hand, but they’d both been too distracted by Eddi throwing up to do anything. Now they were looking at Ryan, wondering what he wanted them to do.

Ryan sat down on the settee.

‘Sir,’ Kelly said cautiously, ‘do you want us to –’

‘Not yet,’ Ryan said. ‘Just keep hold of him.’

‘Sir,’ Kelly nodded.

Ryan took a handkerchief from his pocket and wiped a fleck of liquid from his sleeve. He folded the handkerchief
back into his pocket, then slowly looked over at me. ‘What’s the matter with her?’ he said. ‘Is she ill or something?’

‘There’s a bug going round,’ I heard myself say.

‘A bug?’

I nodded. ‘A virus or something. It’s the festival – it brings in a lot of outsiders. You know how it is, they come down here and spread their germs all over the place…’

I couldn’t believe what I was saying – the banality of it, the calmness of my voice. It was ridiculous. My life was falling to pieces. Cooper still had hold of me, crushing my arms to my sides. I was about to be drugged and kidnapped, and Eddi… I didn’t know
what
was happening with Eddi. And yet, here I was, chatting away to Ryan as if he’d just popped round for a cup of tea. It was madness.

‘What about you?’ Ryan said to me. ‘Have you got this bug?’

‘I don’t get ill.’

‘No,’ he said, ‘I don’t suppose you do.’

I smiled at him. ‘How did you find me?’

‘Sorry?’

‘How did you know I was here?’

He glanced over his shoulder, wondering about Eddi and Hayes, then he turned back to me. ‘A couple of British tourists staying in Nerja,’ he said. ‘They saw you, remembered your face from the newspapers, informed the police.’

‘How did you know where I lived?’

‘We didn’t. We had to ask around.’

‘Who did you ask?’

‘Does it matter?’

‘Not really.’

I looked at Kelly. He was just standing there, staring at the floor, holding the syringe in his hand.

I turned back to Ryan. ‘You realize that whatever’s in that syringe, it’s not going to keep me out for long.’

‘It doesn’t have to,’ he said. ‘Before we leave here, you’re going to be tied up so tightly you won’t even be able to blink.’ He looked at me. ‘You know this is all for your own good, don’t you?’

‘Really?’

He nodded. ‘You don’t know what you are, Robert. We know that. Over the last six months we’ve taken your life apart – dissected it, examined it, analysed it. We’ve checked out all your Homes, your carers, your schools. We’ve investigated your teachers, your social workers, the children you grew up with. We’ve studied your files, your medical records, your therapists’ reports. We’ve talked to people. Watched people. Followed people. We’ve studied your endoscopy video a thousand times. We’ve analysed every trace of forensic evidence we could find – blood, hair, skin… everything.’ He shook his head. ‘But we still don’t know what you are. The only thing we know for certain is that you don’t know what you are either. No one does.’ He stared at me. ‘You can’t spend the rest of your life like that, Robert – not knowing what you are, or where you came from, or why you’re here.’

‘Why not?’

‘Because –’

‘Sir?’ Kelly said.

Ryan looked up and saw Kelly staring at something behind him. Ryan paused for a moment, then slowly started turning his head to see what Kelly was looking at… and
suddenly he froze. Eddi was standing behind him, pointing a pistol at his head.

‘Give me the gun,’ Eddi said coldly, holding out her hand. ‘And the one you took from Hayes.’

Ryan smiled at her. ‘You’re very good, Miss Ray, I’ll give you that.’ He glanced at the pistol in her hand. ‘I searched your bathroom twice…’ He looked back at Eddi. ‘Where was it?’

‘Just give me the guns,’ she said.

He shook his head. ‘I’m afraid I can’t do that.’

‘I’ll kill you if I have to,’ she warned him.

‘I’m sure you will. But then Kelly will have to shoot you, which will inconvenience us a little, but we’ll still have Robert.’ He shrugged. ‘And that’s all that really matters.’

Eddi’s eyes flicked over at Kelly. He’d dropped the syringe and pulled out his pistol and was holding it down at his side. He didn’t move as Eddi looked at him, he just stood there, perfectly still, staring blankly into her eyes.

‘You see, Miss Ray,’ Ryan continued, ‘it’s not that I don’t value my own life, because I do, but sometimes we have to think of the bigger picture. And Robert here…’ He gazed over at me. ‘Well, Robert could be the biggest thing the world has ever seen.’ He looked back at Eddi. ‘You have no idea what you have loved, do you, Miss Ray?’

Eddi’s lips moved, but she couldn’t say anything. She stared silently at Ryan for a while, then her head turned slowly and she looked over at me. As she gazed into my eyes, everything else disappeared. I knew that Cooper was still holding me, and I knew that Ryan and Kelly were
still watching our every move, but just for a moment they didn’t exist. The only life in that room was the life that burned in Eddi’s blue eyes as they stared into mine… trying to see inside me, trying to understand… and for a fraction of a second, I think she
did
understand. I might have been fooling myself, trying to see what I wanted to see, but in that moment, I truly believed that Eddi knew everything. She’d seen inside me. She’d seen what I was, and why I’d kept it from her, and she’d forgiven me.

‘Now,’ Ryan said.

In a blur of speed, I saw Kelly raise his arm and level his pistol at Eddi. I lunged desperately at him, dragging Cooper with me, and we both crashed into him just as he fired the gun. As Kelly grunted and staggered sideways, Cooper twisted me away from him and threw me to the ground, but even as I was falling I could see that Eddi hadn’t been hit. She’d already spun away from Ryan and now she was facing Kelly – her eyes calm, the pistol gripped in both hands. She fired off three quick shots –
bangbangbang –
and I saw Kelly’s head jerk backwards… and then it happened.

Bang.

Another shot.

Flat and dull.

Final.

It came from the other side of the room.

And I knew what it meant. The silence, the stillness. I could feel it screaming inside me as I lay there on the floor, staring in terror, waiting for the gun smoke to clear. I knew what I was going to see.

∗

She was sitting on the floor with her legs buckled under her, leaning crookedly against the wall. Her hands were crossed over in her lap, her fingers curled like a sleeping child’s. Her eyes were open, staring blindly, and a thin trickle of blood was seeping from the bullet hole in her head.

I wanted to cry. I’ve never wanted to cry so much in my life. But I couldn’t. All I could do was stare at her.

My Eddi…

I stared at her for a long time.

Something left me then.

Something drained away.

When I finally got to my feet and looked over at Ryan, he was still sitting on the settee, still holding the gun he’d shot Eddi with, still looking calm and serene. As we gazed into each other’s dead eyes, I knew what I had to do.

I looked round the room.

Kelly was lying dead on the floor, his gun-shot head ringed with a pool of darkening blood. Flies were already gathering at the edge of the crimson pool. I watched them for a moment, wondering if they knew what they were doing, then I looked over at Cooper. He was standing with his back to the wall, pointing a gun at me. His eyes were dark and angry. He wanted to kill me.