Behind the Mask (71 page)

Abbi had Elsa help her into the dress so that no one else would discover her condition, and they caught their breath in unison upon seeing her reflection in the bedroom mirror. Abbi felt beautiful. Her condition was completely undetectable, and the lines of the gown were perfect for her frame.

The aunts made themselves comfortable in Abbi’s room, thoroughly delighted as they fussed over every choice to be made. Abbi was amused by their enjoyment and relished the activity herself. With the help of Mrs. Schilling and her assistant, Abbi tried on what seemed liked dozens of veils and accessories with the dress. She at last decided to simply wear the pearl necklace she always wore, and forego any other accessories to keep it simple. The veils however, were all so beautiful that she just couldn’t make up her mind. When Mrs. Schilling had to leave to meet another appointment, she offered to leave Abbi’s favorites overnight to let her decide, declaring that she would return in the morning for them. After Mrs. Schilling left, Elsa helped Abbi out of the dress.

“You will make such a beautiful bride, Miss Abbi,” Elsa said as she undid the buttons down the back of the dress. “Georg says that your wedding will probably be the event of the century,” she added and laid the elaborate gown over the bed.

“Georg is a tease,” Abbi said and Elsa chuckled.

“Should I put these other things away or—”

“No, I don’t think so, Elsa. I’d like to look at them again later. Just leave them be for now.”

“I hate to tell you this, but you only have a little more than an hour before the captain comes to pick you up. Since you are dining out before the opera, and then—”

“Oh, my goodness.” Abbi glanced at the clock. “You’ve got to help me.”

“Of course,” Elsa said, pulling a gown out of the wardrobe that Abbi had ordered last fall when her aunts had insisted she get some new clothes. She’d never worn it, since she’d hardly had reason to wear something so fine. But following Lance’s invitation, she had decided it was perfect for the occasion. And she blessed her long-time adage of keeping clothes comfortable. The dress was simple and elegant, with yards of fabric gathered into a waistline that was high in the front and tapered down the back. But it was the color that had intrigued Abbi most when she’d ordered the gown. And now as she stood before the mirror, her reflection pleased her more than it possibly ever had. The fabric was the same tone as Abbi’s hair, though several shades lighter. And her green eyes shot out more vividly than ever.

Elsa took special care putting up Abbi’s hair, winding into it some coral-colored roses she’d found in the garden. A strand of pearls with earrings to match finished the picture perfectly. Abbi truly felt beautiful. But gazing at her reflection, a sadness enveloped her. It seemed pointless to take such pains with her appearance when the man she really cared about would not even see her. Abbi reminded herself that Lance had become good company, and she felt comfortable with him. With that she forced her thoughts away from Cameron. When the captain’s arrival was announced, she was waiting in the drawing room where Ramona and Salina were fussing over her.

“Oh, Abbi, you look beautiful,” Lance said.

“That’s what I told her,” Ramona said. “I told her she looks beautiful; just beautiful.”

Lance took Abbi’s hand and kissed it, smiling at her with the same adoration she’d seen in his eyes when he’d admitted to lying for her sake.

“What happened?” she asked, touching his lower face where the barest hint of a bruise was visible.

“It’s nothing,” he said. “Just an unfavorable encounter with a fugitive.” He lightened his voice and said to her aunts, “I hear you ladies are going to the opera, as well.”

“We’re going with our club,” Salina said. “One of our friends got tickets. But we won’t be leaving for a while yet. You two run along and enjoy your dinner out.”

“Yes,” Ramona added, “run along and enjoy your dinner out.”

Salina glared at Ramona. “If you’re not repeating yourself, you’re repeating me.”

Ramona made a noise of indifference, and Lance escorted Abbi out to the waiting carriage. He sat beside her and held her hand as they began the brief journey into town. After a minute of silence he looked at her and smiled, saying with tenderness, “You really do look beautiful tonight, Abbi. I mean . . . you always look beautiful, but . . .”

“But I’m more suited to dressing like a wild farm girl with—”

“No, Abbi,” he laughed softly, “I was going to say . . . and I don’t want to offend you if this doesn’t come out sounding right, but . . . I think you underestimate yourself if you believe you are not suited to being every bit a lady, in the finest sense of the word.”

Abbi felt taken aback by the intensity of his compliment, and how it affected her. She looked into his eyes while they silently echoed his words and she felt fluttery. “You’re too kind, Captain,” she said, if only to break the silence.

“Just being honest,” he said, then looked away and cleared his throat as if he’d thought of something that made him uneasy. A moment later he put an arm around her shoulders, while keeping hold of her hand. “There’s something I need to say,” he murmured close to her ear, almost as if he meant it to be a secret, even though they were completely alone and no one could possibly overhear. “I just don’t know how to say it.”

“Just . . . say it,” she said, sensing that he was nervous.

She felt more than heard him take a deep breath. “What I said yesterday, Abbi . . . about your husband . . .”

Abbi’s heart quickened. She turned to meet his eyes, then turned away just as quickly when she realized how close his face was to hers. “What exactly are you referring to?” she asked hoping he couldn’t see her intense desire to avoid the topic.

“I told you that I didn’t want to know the last time you’d seen him. But now . . . I just want you to know that there is no need for you to go on pretending.”

“Pretending what?” she asked, certain her defensive tone implied guilt.

“I don’t want you to say anything,” he muttered quietly. “I just want you to listen. There is no need for you to pretend that you’re not spending more time with him than you are with me.”

Abbi found it difficult to breathe, and applied all her strength to concealing her anxiety, grateful that he couldn’t see her face.

“And there’s no need for you to pretend that you actually care for me enough to marry me, or that you enjoy my company enough to . . .”

Abbi drew back abruptly and turned to check his expression. Her concern over his misinterpretation outweighed all else as she absorbed the barely masked sadness in his eyes. “But Lance,” she said, “you misunderstand.”

“Then help me understand, Abbi.”

Abbi measured her words carefully, wondering how he knew she was spending time with Cameron. Focusing on what mattered most between them, she said firmly, “I’m
not
pretending, Lance; not with you. You have become very dear to me.” She touched his face. “I
do
care for you, and I
do
enjoy your company—very much. I say that from the heart. Your willingness to stand by me through this means more than I could ever tell you, but spending time with you is not any sacrifice on my part. I pray that you can believe me.” Impulsively, but not without feeling, she pressed her lips to his with a kiss that was both meek and warm.

Pulling back she saw his eyes soften, but his smile showed concern. “You are too precious, Abbi . . . truly. But please . . . don’t do this to placate me or—”

“Lance,” she put a finger over his lips. “If you think I would do
anything
to placate you, then you don’t know me at all. I love my husband; I made that clear when I accepted your proposal. You told me yesterday that you understood how a person would do just about anything to protect someone they love. I admit that I haven’t been completely honest with you—for his sake. You are the Captain of the Guard, Lance, and I am married to a fugitive. But I want you to know that it’s not in my nature to be dishonest, and this is difficult for me, as I’m certain it is for you. Beyond the single point of doing my best to protect him, I have never been anything but honest with you.”

She watched him searching her eyes. He smiled as if he’d found the sincerity he’d been seeking, then he wrapped his arms around her and held her close. But his embrace was not at all romantic, and the tenderness she felt had an edge of desperation. It was fear she sensed in him, but was it on her behalf, or his own? He seemed reluctant to let go, and she relaxed her head against his shoulder while her mind wandered back through the conversation. One point stood out as especially unsettling, and she hardly thought about holding the thought back before she heard herself saying, “I want to ask how you know, but perhaps it’s best if neither of us admits that you know anything.”

“Perhaps I
don’t
know anything, Abbi. Perhaps I just suspect.”

“Yet, you are still so kind and accepting of me. I don’t understand.”

“I’m not sure I understand it myself,” he said, sounding mildly angry. “How exactly did I get into a position of making life-and-death decisions, with
your
life caught between?”

Abbi sat up straight and looked at him hard. It took a long moment for the meaning of his words to penetrate her mind, and then she began to tremble. Lance was quick to notice, since he still had hold of her hand. He glanced at it, then back to her face. “What do you mean?” she demanded, her voice trembling as well.

Abbi saw Lance fade behind the mask of the Captain of the Guard as he spoke with a firm resolve that chilled her. “I am sworn to serve Nikolaus du Woernig. If he knew what I know, your husband would be arrested tonight and executed at dawn—no questions asked.” Abbi found it difficult to breathe and pressed one hand over the burning in her chest, the other over her mouth. “I never imagined that I would find myself in a position where my personal loyalties would so strongly contradict my duty.”

Abbi carefully moved her hand and muttered, “I put you in that position, Lance. It’s my fault that—”

“No!” he said, taking her arm and putting his face close to hers. She’d never seen him so intense. “Cameron put us
both
in this position.”

Hearing his name come through Lance’s lips pressed her into a sweeping panic. She turned away from him and struggled to breathe, knowing he had to be well aware of how upset she was.

“Yes, I know his name, and I know he’s been spending his nights with you, and I have a feeling I know a lot more about him than you do. Maybe that’s what bothers me most. I know you love him, Abbi, but I don’t think you have any idea what you have married yourself into, my dear.” His voice softened but his anger was still evident. “You tell me, Abbi, how I’m supposed to find reason with the fact that you are married to a man who murdered his first wife.”

“He didn’t kill her!” Abbi insisted, turning again to look at him.

“How can you know that, Abbi? How can you
know
he didn’t?”

“How can you know that he did?” she countered.

He sighed and turned away. “I can’t. But whatever I may or may not believe, he was found with her blood on his hands. He escaped from prison, and he
is
a fugitive.”

Abbi told herself to remain calm, and not give into the full extent of horror she was beginning to feel as the futility of the situation became evident. She swallowed carefully and attempted a steady voice. “You told me yesterday you didn’t want to know when I’d seen him, or anything else that you might be forced to use against me.” He turned to look at her. “Apparently you know a great deal already.” He tightened his gaze but said nothing. “Why haven’t you just sent officers to storm the house in the middle of the night and arrest him?”

His anger returned. “Because they would find you there with him, and you would be arrested as well.”

Abbi swallowed hard. “Maybe I deserve to be.”

“For what? For
loving
him?
Trusting
him? You’ve done nothing wrong, Abbi, at least as far as I see it. But my personal opinions do not dictate the law I am sworn to uphold. And technically you are aiding and harboring a fugitive.”

“So, why do you turn the other way while you know I’m breaking the law?”

“I answered that question yesterday, Abbi.”

“Something’s different since yesterday. You’re angry. Upset.”

“Yes, I am.”

“So, what happened since then to—”

“Maybe I just had more time to think about it.”

“And maybe something’s happened that—”

“Abbi.” He put his fingers over her lips, his eyes returned to the tenderness she was more familiar with. “I’ve already said far too much. Just . . . be careful, Abbi. I only have a certain amount of control.”

“But you are the captain.”

“Yes, and if Nikolaus gives orders that contradict mine, I am powerless.”

Abbi tried not to think too hard about the ramifications. Instead she sought for information. “Do you think Nikolaus suspects that something is amiss?”

“I have no idea where that man’s head is, but he doesn’t give much credence to gossip and hearsay. He’s far too busy consuming liquor and chasing women.”

Abbi felt a little sick at the overtone, but kept to the matter at hand. “And your men? Should I be concerned that they
will
find him with me?”

“My orders have been made clear, that this matter has been put to rest. But now that I know what I know, I’m not certain I can, in good conscience, ignore what’s going on. Whatever my place may be, however, I will do whatever it takes to protect you, even if that means doing what I believe is best on your behalf—regardless of how difficult it might be for you.”

Abbi wasn’t certain of the connotation, but she made no hesitation to state firmly, “I need Cameron to live, Lance. I need a normal life with him.”

Lance sighed loudly and pressed a kiss to her brow. With his lips close to her face he murmured, “Oh, my dear. I don’t know if such a thing is possible. I only pray that when this is over, you’ll be able to look me in the eye and believe that I did what was best, what had to be done.”

For long moments of silence Abbi allowed his implications to settle in, heedless of the tears that fell down her face. Putting together everything he’d said, there was no mistaking his purpose in this conversation. He wanted her to know that he would do everything in his power to protect
her,
but he could promise no such thing for Cameron. One question haunted her and she felt compelled to ask it with the hope that her knowing might actually help Cameron in some way, as opposed to making either of them more vulnerable. “What
do
you know, Lance?”