Behind the Lens (Behind the Lives) (5 page)

“I’d
rather lose all of that than Ash.”

“Aren’t
you both moving?”

“Pro’bly.”

“Then
why did you say you’ll lose him?”

“It’s
complicated and I really don’t wanna go into it, plus it’s late. Let’s get you
settled into my room.” He turned and headed down the passage, conscious that
Kara was right behind him. He didn’t want her in his room, especially since it
made him think about what they used to do in there: On the bed, up against the
wall, on the floor, over the cabinet, even in the bloody wardrobe... Fuck, he
couldn’t deal with this. He pushed his clothes off the bed, grabbed a blanket,
then turned to leave.

Kara
blocked his way, the look in her eyes telling him she was remembering the same
things. “You don’t have to leave,” she said, her eyes flicking to the bed.
“Really, we can share.”

He
snorted. “Yeah, and I know where that would lead.”

“Is
that so wrong?”

“Yes,
I’ve already told ja I have a girlfriend, and unlike what you believe, I’m
not
a cheat.”

“I
told you, I don’t think you’re a cheat.”

Then
why do people treat me like one?
Because,
unlike Beth, he’d never cheated on a partner. The women he’d slept with,
excluding Kara and Beth, were nothing more than one night stands and flings.

Kara
said something, but he didn’t catch it.

“
Š
to
?” he said.

“I
asked how long have you been with this Beth?”

“A
few days,” he mumbled, wondering how she’d gotten onto that topic.

She
frowned. “So, you hardly know her?”

He
shook his head, feeling ashamed. “She used to be Ash’s partner. He dumped her
last Saturday,”
because I fucked her.

Kara
looked confused. “But Ash is with Tiana, and if he wasn’t, why would you take
his lover?”

“Ash
got back with Tiana after dumping Beth, and I didn’t mean for things to happen
between me and Beth.”

“But,
that’s not fair on Ash, and regardless, you shouldn’t be with her; blood is
thicker than any woman.”

“He
understands.”

She
started walking towards him. “Do you love her?”

Dante
stepped backwards, knocking into the bed. “Yes.”

“As
much as you used to love me?”

He
lifted his chin. “More,” he lied.

She
flinched. “Really?”

“Yes,”
he said softly. Yesterday he’d been a hundred percent sure Beth was all he
needed, but seeing Kara in the flesh made him question himself. She had meant
everything to him for the time they’d been together, and had still meant so
much for a long time afterwards. But when Beth had walked into his life, he’d
stopped thinking about Kara, Beth taking up residence in his mind. It had been
both a curse and a blessing, because at that stage Beth hadn’t been his either,
but now... shit, how could he still love Kara when he loved Beth?

“I’m
sorry to hear that you no longer care for me,” Kara said.

I
never said that.
But there was no way
he would admit it to her, especially after the way she’d treated him so badly.
He didn’t want that again
. I don’t want that!
He just had to keep
repeating it over and over again, because otherwise he would go back to the way
things were, running around to please her erratic moods, feeling pussy-whipped
and emasculated. Shit, he also felt like that with Beth sometimes. What the
fuck had he turned into?

Kara
ran a hand over her breasts. His gaze dropped to them. The zip up the middle of
her dress was sitting below the bottom of her bra, showing her heavenly
cleavage. He didn’t remember the zip being that low before they’d walked into
the room, but he didn’t recall seeing her moving it down either. He bit his
lip, feeling guilty for looking at her tits, the bruise on the left one
yellowing her pale skin, but they still looked so damn good. He imagined
unzipping the dress completely, then ripping the bra’s flimsy material, because
it was a fucking travesty to cover those beauties. She had the biggest nipples,
which were poking out from beneath the material, which he used to love to bite,
her screams always going straight to his cock. And he also loved burying his
cock between her tits, using them to sandwich it as he rubbed himself to
orgasm, giving her the only pearl necklace he could afford.

“Oh
God, Dante,” she gasped, making him look back up at her face. Her eyes were
huge as she gaped down at his cock, all but opening her mouth to welcome it
inside that warm, wet opening. His hand went to it, then jerked back, shocked
to find the bastard poking out the top of his leathers, the tip already weeping
pre-cum. Shit! Maybe she was right about him, that he
was
a
prostitutka
,
someone born to fuck, but he didn’t want to be, and especially not if it
meant hurting Beth.

He
shoved his cock back into his pants roughly, using the pain to focus himself,
then rushed past Kara with the blanket, heading for the lounge. He closed the
door behind him and leaned against it, praying that she didn’t follow, because
there was no fucking way he was cheating on Beth.

When
Kara didn’t try to open the door, he settled on the couch and covered himself
with the blanket, knowing he wasn’t going to get any sleep tonight, his painful
hard-on proof of that. Making sure his body was hidden, he unzipped his pants
and brought up an image of Beth, her long black hair so different from Kara’s
blonde. He started moving his hand up and down his shaft, his mind flicking
between the two women, their bodies both beautiful in their differences, one
slim while the other all curves. He groaned, thinking about how much he loved
touching both of them, how he wanted to be sandwiched between their breasts,
their mouths kissing him all over, their hands touching him everywhere. He came
quickly, biting his lip to stop from groaning, then froze as someone cleared
their throat. He kicked his head back and looked across the room at the passage
doorway. Kara was leaning against the frame, the woman always too sneaky for
his good.

She
smiled at him, her gaze filled both with amusement and lust. “You should have
let me do that,
dragi.
”

“I
am not your darling,” he said, breathing heavily, his mind still fogged with
the orgasm.

“You’ll
always be my
dragi
,” she said, taking a step closer.

He
spun around, making sure his lower half was still covered. “Go back to my room
now.”

She
rolled her tongue in her mouth, then flicked it out, the Devil’s fire igniting
in her eyes. “Not before I clean you up,” she said, the old Kara finally baring
her teeth.

“I’ll
clean myself.” With the blanket still covering him, he pushed off the couch and
stormed past her and into the bathroom. He locked the door before Kara could
follow him inside. The handle turned, making him take a step back, even though
he knew she couldn’t enter. “If you don’t back off,” he said, “you can’t stay
here.”

“I’m
not going anywhere, Dante,” she said, on the other side. “Especially now I know
you still want me.”

“You’re
married.”

“I’ll
be getting a divorce.”

“I’m
with Beth.”

“Not
for long.” The floorboards creaked as she walked down the passage, then what
sounded like his bedroom door closed.

He
dropped his head for a moment, not believing her nerve. No, he did, she’d
always been like that, taking what she wanted regardless of whether he was
willing to give it to her or not. The first night he’d met her, she shoved a
female off his lap at a party, then without so much as a
‘Hello’
or
‘What’s
your name
?’ she’d sat on his lap and shoved her tongue into his mouth,
which was quickly followed by Dante carrying her to a bedroom.

He
stripped off his clothing, wishing he didn’t want her, then got into the
shower, turning it to cold and forcing himself to stay under. When he felt like
a block of ice, he turned the water off, wrapped a towel around his hips and
headed for his room. He went to knock, wanting to get some clean clothes, but
instead turned to Ash’s door, knowing it was the safer option, because there
was no way that Kara would allow him to leave the room a second time, and he
wasn’t sure he had the strength to either.

His
brother poked his head out. “What?”

“Can
Angelo sleep in your room tonight? Kara’s in mine.”

“No
worries.” Ash went to his son’s room, gently picked up the sleeping
nine-year-old boy and returned to his own room.

Dante
settled himself on Angelo’s bed, although he knew he wasn’t going to get any
sleep knowing that Kara was on the other side of the wall, leaving her scent on
his sheets, her body naked, hot... He closed his eyes, remembering how she used
to twist into his side, pressing her tits up against him, encouraging him to
fuck her one more time before they fell asleep.

Kara’s
face filled his head, but without the bruises, only lust colouring her
features. “Go away,” he whispered, wishing she’d never returned. He rolled onto
his side and focused on the wall, imagining that Kara was looking at the same
spot. He frowned, annoyed that he was thinking about her like that, mooning
like some love-struck git. His mind went to Beth, feeling like he was betraying
her with his juvenile thoughts. He wished she was lying next to him, pressing
her body against his, writhing in pleasure, her black hair blanketing him
instead of Kara’s blonde waves. Yeah, he wanted to wrap his arms around Beth,
not Kara.

You’re
a liar.

No,
I’m not, because I do want Beth—

—AND
Kara.

He
focused on the Croatian words tattooed on his left arm, something he should’ve
gotten rid of when Kara had left him. He ran a finger over the black writing,
the same words tattooed over Kara’s heart:

MI SMO JEDAN

“We
are one,” he whispered, wishing he still didn’t believe it.

3

Beth

Saturday

Beth parked her Volkswagen
behind the silver sedan sitting in front of Dante’s place, then got out, her
nerves being played like a string quartet. She wanted to see Dante—but didn’t
want to see Ash. Although Ash had been polite on the car ride back from
Dargaville, it had still been incredibly awkward, and it wasn’t just over her
cheating on him with Dante. He’d looked like a scared boy in desperate need of
a cuddle, something she ached to give him, but she knew he would’ve
misunderstood the gesture, so she’d kept her hands to herself. And it wasn’t
like she wanted to get back with him. She didn’t. Although she knew she would
always love Ash, she loved Dante more, but she still didn’t like seeing her ex
so broken.

She
pushed open the gate and headed up the footpath. She was a bit early, the time
just before nine in the morning, but she was aching to find out how everything
had gone with Craven and Hunter the day before.

She
knocked on the front door. A few seconds later it pulled open. She looked down
at Angelo, Ash’s nine-year-old son, the boy a smaller and darker replica of
Ash.

“Hello,
Angelo,” she said, hoping his mother wasn’t up yet. She didn’t want to see
Ash’s girlfriend either, the woman he’d gotten back together with so fast after
he’d left Beth, which made her feel even worse, knowing that she could be so
easily replaced. But she didn’t want to be with him either, so why was she so
upset over it.
Pride,
yeah, it was just pride, not some latent longing.

Angelo
pulled a face at her. “My mum said you’re a nasty cow who beat up my dad.”

“I
didn’t beat him up.”

“You
slapped him.”

“That’s
not beating him up.”

He
poked his tongue out at her then ran off, disappearing out the back of the
house.

Closing
the door behind her, Beth called out Dante’s name. When no one answered, she
headed down the passage towards his bedroom. Her gaze brushed Ash’s closed door
as she passed by, hoping that he didn’t emerge from it—or worse: Tiana. She
heard a shower turn off on the opposite side of the passage, so she quickly
scurried to Dante’s room, letting herself in without knocking. She closed the
door behind her, then froze, doing a double take. A woman’s head was poking out
the top of Dante’s duvet, with her wavy blonde hair fanning in all directions.

“What
the hell?!” Beth screamed.

The
woman shot up straight. The duvet fell from her body, revealing large, bruised
breasts and inked skin. A rosary was tattooed around her right hand and
forearm, while roses twisted up the other side of her torso, but what caught
Beth’s attention the most was the words inked over the woman’s heart: the same
text that was on Dante’s arm.

Beth
rushed forward and grabbed the woman by her hair, not giving a stuff that the
bitch was battered and bruised. The woman screamed as Beth yanked her out of
the bed. “Get outta here!” Beth yelled, shoving her towards the door.

The
woman banged into the wooden frame, then before Beth could blink, the banshee
rushed at her, screaming words she didn’t understand. Beth yelled out as she
was pushed onto the bed. The woman climbed on top of her and slapped Beth hard
across her face, the sting of her nails raking Beth’s flesh. Beth hollered and
lashed out, knocking the woman onto the floor, then launched herself on top of
the bitch, screaming at the top of her lungs, “You’re dead!”

“GET
OFFA HER!!”

Both
of them froze, their eyes darting to the doorway, where Dante stood dripping
wet and shivering, with a towel wrapped around his hips.

“Get
offa her!” he said again, his glare on Beth like she was the one in the wrong.

Anger
rose through Beth, making her jump up and rush at him. He stumbled into the
passage as she ploughed into him. “You cheating bastard!” she screamed, shoving
him back further.

He
held out his hands, looking stunned, like he didn’t understand why she was
angry. She shoved him again, ignoring Ash and Tiana as they looked out of their
bedroom. “You said you loved me!” she shouted at Dante. “But you’re barely a
day away from me and you’re already sleeping around.”

That
seemed to snap him out of his daze. “I didn’t sleep with her.”

Beth
flung an arm backwards, pointing at his room. “How can you say that with that
naked bitch standing there?”

“I
didn’t sleep with her. That’s Kara.”

“Kara?
As in your ex?”

“Yeah.”

The
image of the text filled her mind, it’s placement over Kara’s heart making Beth
scream louder: “Do you think that makes it alright? That you can fuck her cos
she’s your ex?”

“I
didn’t fuck her!”

“How
can you lie to my face when I caught you red-handed?”

“I’m
not lying! I slept in Angelo’s room. She needed a place to stay after her
husband beat her up.”

“Do
you think I’m stupid?”

“No,
I’m stupid for thinking you trusted me.”

Beth
spat out the first thing that came to mind, instantly regretting it, “I could
never trust you!”

Dante
flinched, his expression telling her she’d hurt him.

“I
didn’t mean that,” she quickly said, although she did, the man so impulsive it
made her want to scream, so unpredictable that she never knew what was up or
down.

He bared
his teeth, signalled his rising anger, which looked ready to bubble over and
burn her. “You’re the liar, not me,” he snarled. “I knew you would eventually
say what you really thought, cos no one trusts me. No one! All I am is a lying,
cheating slut, who doesn’t know how to be faithful.” He sneered. “Ironic that
it wuz
you
who cheated on my bro by sleeping with me. Guess we’re both
sluts.”

“I’m
not a slut!” she snapped back, aching to slap him for the comment. “What do you
expect me to think when I find some woman sleeping in your bed?” She looked
back at Kara, who now had a blanket wrapped around her body, the woman’s eyes
fixed on Dante. Kara’s gaze flicked to Beth, then she stepped back into Dante’s
room, closing the door behind her.
Oh, no she didn’t!
Beth went for the
door, because there was still no way she was allowing that bitch to stay here.

Dante
grabbed her arm and wrenched her around. “Leave her alone!”

Beth
pulled free. “Why? Or are you more concerned about her than me?”

“Don’t
you dare try to manipulate me.”

“You
have a nerve saying that, sleeping behind my back with that inked-up tramp.”

“I
did nuthin’ with her! For Christ’s sake, I already told ja that.”

She
poked his arm, pointing at one of his tattoos. “That tramp has the same
writing. What does it mean?”

He
took a step back, practically squirming. “That doesn’t concern you.”

“Yes
it does! So what does it mean?”

“
We
are one
.”

Beth
felt her heart skip, her chest ache, those words telling her that she was just
a fill-in for another woman, like she had been for Ash. “You still love her?”

Dante
grimaced. “I love you more.”

“Which
means you still love her.”

“What
I had with Kara is in the past.”

“I
would believe that if she wuzn’t here in the present.”

“You
calling me a liar again?”

“Yes,
cos you’re lying ’bout your feelings for her, and you pro’bly agreed to have her
here so you could be near her again.”

“I
didn’t lie, I told ja the truth, and I have no wish for her to be here.”

Beth
grabbed his arm. “Then why didn’t you get this tattoo removed.”

“It’s
just words.”

“No
it’s not! Cos you still love her.”

“Stop
saying that!” He pulled his arm free. “I’ve had enough of this shit. Just fuck
off.”

“No,
she has to leave, not me!”

“She’s
got nowhere else to go.”

“That
bitch leaves now or I will.”

His
face hardened. “’Kay, go then, and when you walk out that door, don’t come
back.”

Beth
shook her head, now panicking, his words not what she’d expected, and most
definitely not what she wanted, far from it. Instead, she wanted him to kick
the bitch out and to tell Beth he loved her and that he was sorry, and that
this would never happen again.

“No,
you don’t mean that,” she finally said, his harsh gaze making her want to yell
at him that he was the one in the wrong, not her, but she couldn’t, because
that would push him over the edge, and she didn’t want to experience that
again, because the last time he’d had a bipolar episode it had scared the hell
out of her.

“Why
not?” Dante snapped. “You already think I cheated on you, which means it’s
over.”

No,
this wasn’t happening, not again!
“But
you said you loved me.”

“I
do, but if you don’t trust me, you’ll end up leaving me like Kara did all those
years ago. She did the exact same thing to me, telling me I wuz a lying,
cheating whore when I did nuthin’ wrong, and I’m not goin’ through that again.
I’m sick of jealous women making my life hell!”

He
turned to leave. Panicked, she grabbed his arm again. He yanked free and headed
for the bathroom. Now desperate, she ran after him, trying to stop him.

He
turned on her and swatted her hands away. “Don’t touch me!”

“No,
Dante, please don’t do this, I love you so much.”

“You
have a shit way of showing it.”

“This
isn’t my fault.”

“No,
you think it’s mine.”

“Why
are you doin’ this to me? I should be the one angry, not you, I didn’t cause
this; you did by letting that woman back into your life—our lives.”

“I
didn’t cause this! You did with your distrust. Ironic since I’ve never cheated
on anyone—
unlike you
.”

His
words slapped Beth in the face again. “I would never cheat on you.”

“So,
I’m s’posed to believe you, when you don’t believe me?”

“You
gotta understand how all this looks to me.”

“No
I bloody don’t. You jumped to your own conclusions. Now, if I wuz on top of
Kara, fucking her, then yeah, I’d understand all this shit being piled on me,
but the only thing I’d been pumping for the past hour wuz the weights in the
garage.”

“It
didn’t look like that to me with you wearing only a towel.”

“I
had a shower after my bloody workout.”

“You
could’ve been washing off the sex.”

He
pointed a finger at her, his face vicious. “Keep your shit opinions to
yourself, cos you caused this problem—like all the other ones. We’ve barely
been together a week, and we’ve already had loads of arguments, and every
chance you get, you insult me. I don’t even know why you’re with me.”

“I
don’t insult you all the time; and I’m with you cos I love you.”

“You
don’t love me, love involves trust.”

“I
did trust you until I saw that woman in your bed, and you’ve gotta see it from
my point of view.”

“No
I don’t!” He put his hands to his head. “Why do I even bother with
relationships, cos it always ends like this, tearing my fuckin’ heart out, it’s
not worth it, it hurts too much. I should be like my old man, a hermit. He’s
got the right idea, cos at least he doesn’t get his heart stomped on at every
turn. I’m not made for relationships! So. Leave. Me. The. Fuck. Alone!” He
entered the bathroom, slamming the door behind him.

She
tried to push it open, but he’d locked it. She started banging on the door. “Dante,
open up! I’m sorry!”

“Go
away!”

“No,
we hafta talk this through.”

“Talking’s
over, we’re done!”

“Don’t
say that! We love each other, we can sort things out.”

“What’s
the fuck for? Cos you’d do the same to me again. No, it’s over, leave.”

“But
I love you!”

“No
one loves me!” he hollered, then kicked the door, making Beth jump back. A
crash on his side followed, making Beth’s heart beat faster, Dante no doubt
destroying the bathroom.

“Beth!
Leave now!” Tiana shouted behind her.

Beth
glanced over her shoulder at Tiana. Dressed in a crimson dressing-gown, Ash’s
girlfriend was glaring at Beth like she was the root of all evil.

“I’ll
call the police if you don’t leave,” Tiana added, her wavy brown hair a mess,
sleep her stylist.

Beth
shook her head. “No, this is just a misunderstanding.”

“No
it’s not, Dante doesn’t want you here, so leave and don’t come back.”

Beth
glanced over Tiana’s shoulder at Ash, who was standing in his doorway, looking
like a replica of Dante, just without the facial tattoo, his neck tat
noticeable above his T-shirt. He turned around, heading back into the room
she’d once shared with him.