Behind the Hood (Behind the Lives) (35 page)

Tama removed the pillow and whispered, “Try anything and I’ll punch ya in the gut.”

Her eyes widened, her terror starkly clear.

Annie called for Jess again as the doorbell went off.

“Ow! Lil Jay, don’t touch my ribs!”

Tama flinched at the sound of Jayden’s voice. Man, everything had turned to shit over the last few days. He squeezed his eyes shut at the thought of his mother and Mikey. Jess was meant to take his mind of them, not make things worse. He placed his face next to her neck. She tried to move her head away, making him feel even shittier.

After a minute, doors slammed and the sound of a vehicle reversing greeted Tama’s ears. He jumped off Jess. He just wanted comfort, yet she kept looking at him like he was the fucking devil. He brought his hands up to his head, the stink of her vomit making him want to puke.

“Stop lookin’ at me like that!” he yelled.

She dropped her gaze.

Stuff it, he was going to take her whether she wanted it or not. He snatched up the knife and pointed it at her. “Get in the shower and don’t you fuckin’ dare run cos I’ve had enough.”

She moved off the bed slowly. He pushed her through the doorway and down the passage. She stopped outside the bathroom, her sobbing growing louder. For fuck’s sake, she was ruining everything.

Tama shoved her inside. “Take off your skirt and knickers now or I’ll use the knife.”

Her shaky hands unzipped her skirt and dropped it, then her knickers.

He sucked in air, his breath hissing out as his gaze ran over her. With a flick of the knife, he indicated for her to get in the shower. “Turn it on.”

She did as instructed then pressed herself into the corner, watching him as he put the knife down on the vanity. He stepped inside the shower, and grabbed the soap. He washed the puke off his arm and then gave himself a clean, the soft scent of vanilla replacing the repugnant smell. Jess flinched as he wiped her face. He moved his hand over her breasts and down her stomach. She gasped as his fingers probed her below.

Fuck, she felt so good down there. He wanted to take her right now. He leaned in to kiss her lips but jerked his head back. “Your breath stinks.” He turned off the shower and pushed her out. “Clean your mouth.”

After she’d finished with the mouthwash, he tossed her the towel. She wiped herself, then wrapped it around her body.

“No, you don’t.” He yanked it away, then directed her into the bedroom and pushed her onto the bed.

Jess scooted up to the headboard as he closed the door. Tama placed the knife on the cabinet. His mood lifted as he drank in the sight of her naked body. All the years of waiting were finally over. She was his woman now. Not Nike’s. His woman.

He crawled up the bed towards her. God, her terrified expression looked sexy. Better than any fucking drug.

51

Mikey

Mikey felt ashamed for crying in front of Maia, but what made him even more ashamed was that Maia knew what his mother had done. Like the Connors, she’d looked at him with shock soon levelling into pity.

He felt sick that he’d let his mother do those things to him. He should have fought back when she touched him, but instead he allowed it no matter how repulsed and degraded he felt. Yeah, he did react violently the first time two years ago, but she beat him so bad that he’d shelled up too scared to fight again.

He wiped his face. He didn’t want to look at Maia, too afraid that he’d still see pity or worse disgust written into her features. Either way it spelt that she wouldn’t want him. He was damaged, fucked in the head. What girl would want a guy who’d been touched like that?

“Mikey, I’m sorry,” Maia said.

He turned to look at her. Why was she sorry? He was the one who’d fucked up, allowing his mother to get away with that shit for so long. Hell, he’d even chased Maia, at one stage wanting exactly what Tama had. And if he hadn’t got stuck in that window he might have done it too. What sort of sick bastard did that?

“Why?” he said. “You’ve done nuthin’ wrong.”

Her face looked sad. She dropped her gaze for a moment then looked back at him. “I’m sorry about what your mum did.”

Mikey yanked his hand back. She did pity him. “Why you here?”

“I heard you were shot. I visited last night and saw what happened to you. I wanted to see that you were alright before I went home.”

“I thought I dreamt that,” he said.

“Stella told me you visited, that you wanted to apologise. I accept your apology.”

“Go away.”

“What?”

“I said, go away. I don’t need your pity.”

“I ... I don’t pity you.”

“Liar. I’m a disgusting loser. Just go away.” He turned his head and stared out the doorway. He could hear voices coming from down the corridor.

“No, you’re not.” She sounded almost angry. “Listen to me. It’s not your fault what she did.”

“Yes, it is. I shouldn’t have given in.” He looked back at her. “You didn’t when you got attacked.”

“It wuzn’t your fault, Mikey.”

He clenched his fists. Couldn’t she see he was humiliated? The pity on her face was making him want to scream, and she looked at him like he’d done nothing wrong. She was deluding herself if she thought he was purely a victim. He knew he was going to hurt her with his words, but she needed to know what he was.

“In the video store when Tama said he wuz gonna get rid of the rest of us I complained. I wanted you.” He hesitated for a second, his disgust eating away at him. “I wuzn’t chasin’ you to help Tama, I wuz doin’ it for myself. I felt guilty at first, but when I tried to get through that window, I had every intention of fucking you whether ya wanted it or not.”

Her eyes went round.

God, she was way too good for him. He only deserved the slappers Tama gave him, dirty hoes who didn’t care how he took them.

“I’m just like my mother. Sick.”

“No! You’re not like her, you stopped.”

Baffled by her reaction, he shook his head. “Didn’t cha hear me? I wanted to rape you.”

“But you didn’t, and you said you were sorry for chasing me.”

“Go away, Maia.”

“But, Mikey—” She reached for his hand.

He whipped it back. “Don’t touch me!”

She flinched, her eyes crinkling like she was going to cry. “I’m sorry.”

He wished he could stop himself, but all the anger he’d bottled up for so long wanted to burst free. “Stop saying that!”

She started crying.

“Shit!” He ran a hand down his face. He rarely yelled and when he did it had only been at his mother recently. Maia didn’t deserve this. “I’m sorry; it’s not your fault.”

“Maia, you alright, love?”

Mikey looked over at the doorway. Maia’s mother pushed a pram into the room. She was fat like his mum, but nowhere near as large. Yet the resemblance ended there. He saw genuine concern on the woman’s face as she stopped and brushed Maia’s hair back.

“What’s wrong, sweetheart?” Mrs. Daniels asked.

Maia shook her head as though too upset to speak.

Mikey closed his eyes. Only last week he would have been stoked if Maia had spoken to him, but now ... he just couldn’t deal with it.

“You should go, Maia,” he said.

“Mikey, I...” She hesitated. “I wanna visit you again.”

He just wanted to be left alone. “No.”

“Mikey—”

He covered his face. “Please go.”

“Come on, Maia,” Mrs. Daniels said softly. “He probably needs to rest.”

Mikey heard Maia sniffle, then the sound of feet hitting the lino and the squeaking of pram wheels petered out. After a minute he opened his eyes, his gaze focusing on the white ceiling.

God, he envied Tama’s mother.

52

Maia

Maia gazed out the car window as her mother drove through Papatoetoe. Although the suburb was not wealthy it was so much nicer than Claydon. The houses were older, but with a homely feel, some of them even pretty. Yeah, there were dives, but she still liked the suburb and wished she lived there instead.

The urban landscape changed as they drew closer to Claydon, cheap fibrolite houses and graffitied fences. They turned onto Mikey’s road and drove past his house. Maia glanced at the rundown property. In the last few months she’d been cycling past it, hoping that she would catch a glimpse of Mikey. She’d seen him mowing the lawn once. She’d hidden behind a tree and watched, then took off when her brother drove past.

Shit, she still couldn’t believe his mother had done what the cop said. It was just so unreal. And Mikey’s words hurt, the way he’d yelled at her and the look of shame on his face when he’d told her he was disgusting. Even when he admitted to wanting to rape her, after what she’d seen and heard from him she couldn’t hate him. He seemed so vulnerable and raw. His words were so pained it broke her.

“You alright, love?”

Maia snapped out of her thoughts. “No.”

They stopped
at a red light. Her mother glanced over. “You ready to tell me what happened with Mikey?”

“His mother hurt him. Physically….” She hesitated, “…and sexually.”

Her mother gasped. “That’s horrible.”

Maia looked down at her nails. “I thought she wuz nice. I talked with her while Mikey slept. Then the police came and arrested her, and she started screaming at Mikey and tried to attack him.”

“I’m so sorry you had to see that, love.” Her mother put her foot on the accelerator and continued down the road.

“He said some horrible things to me. I tried to ignore it cos he wuz upset. I even told him I forgave him ... but he still didn’t want me there.”

“He’s hurting, sweetheart. His reaction is understandable.” Her mother stopped talking as they cut across the highway and turned into their driveway. “Hmmm ... That’s weird. I thought Rory would be home.” She pulled the handbrake on.

Maia got out of the car and headed for the front door. Her stomach grumbled. She checked her watch. No wonder she was starving, it was twelve already. She covered her nose as her mother pulled out her keys. Jake wiggled on her mum’s hip.

“He stinks, Mum.”

Her mother unlocked the door. “Can you please grab a nappy; they’re in your room.”

Maia walked past the old piano, down the passage and into her bedroom. “Gross, it stinks in here too.” She covered her nose again. “It smells like puke.”

Her mother came down with Jake. She stopped and screwed up her nose. “You’re right, it does. Jess must’ve been sick. I wonder where she is.”

Maia bent down and picked up a T-shirt lying next to the nappy bag. Something banged in the next room.

“Jess?” Her mother left Maia’s room and opened her bedroom door.

Maia grabbed a nappy and followed her mother inside. “There’s no way I’m sleeping in—” she stopped talking. Jess lay crying under a blanket, only her head poking out the top.

“What’s wrong, Jess?” Maia’s mother went around the side of the bed.

“He wouldn’t stop…” Jess sobbed.

Maia dropped the nappy and opened up the T-shirt. The red circular design on the black background looked familiar.

Maia’s mother sat down on the bed. “Who, love?”

“He threatened my baby if I ... if I…” Jess’s crying drowned out her words.