Begin Again (27 page)

“No! Those are my kids. You ca-can’t take my
babies fr-from me.” For the first time in two weeks he saw emotion in her eyes. “Pl-please don’t ta-take them from me.”

She was breaking his heart, but he had to stay strong. “You’re leaving me no choice.
They need you, but it’s like you’re not even here. Why are you pulling away from me? Don’t tell me you’re not because I can feel you doing it.”

A single tear ran down her cheek.

“Why, Journey? Why are you pushing me away? I don’t know how much more of this I can take.”

Her mouth kept opening and closing
, but instead of answering him she buried her face in her knees. Her shoulders shook, but she was making no noise. He grabbed her face gently, making her look at him. The dam had finally broken and the tears were streaming down her face. “Please tell me why,” he pleaded.

“You want to know why?” He nodded his head. “I don’t want to lose one more person that I love.”

“Who says you’re going to lose me?”

She got up off the bed and stood in front of him. “I can’t lose anyone else. I lost my momma and daddy, my brother
, and now Nan. If I lose you or those babies, I’d never survive. You’re right: they aren’t safe with me. You need to take them with you and go.”

He stood up, grabbing her shoulders.
“I’m not leaving you, baby, you just need to talk to someone. You’ve lost more people that were important to you than anyone should, but are you honoring them by slowly killing yourself? People die, and it sucks, but I promise you I have no plans of leaving you anytime soon.”

Dylan let go of her, but wrapped his arms around her when her legs crumpled under her.

“I miss her so much!”
she wailed. “Why her? It’s not fair, Dylan. There was so much I wanted to tell her at the funeral home, but I-I c-couldn’t do it. I wanted to stand up in front of all those people and tell them what an amazing woman she was. I wanted them to know that if I could’ve, I would’ve done anything to bring her husband and daughter back to her because she has given us so much love. I just want her back!” she screamed into his chest. The first slap to his chest caught him off guard, but he let her slap and scream at him as she got it all out.

“Let it all out
, baby,” he whispered. “Let me take your pain, baby.”

“Mommy?” He turned to see Abby and Joey in the doorway.
Abby’s chin was wobbling as she looked at them. Joey looked ready to cry, too.

Journey quieted and turned her head, still leaning on him but enough to see the kids standing there. “Oh god
. Baby, come here.”

Abby and Joey came to them.
Dropping to her knees, she wrapped her arms around them, her and Abby both crying. Dylan got down behind them, enveloping them all in a hug.

They stayed like that for a long time, but they all needed it.
For the first time in weeks, Dylan felt like things were looking up.

Chapter Twenty

A week after her meltdown, Journey was finally feeling more like herself. She missed Nan every day and couldn’t look at her house without tearing up, but she no longer was holding her grief in. Bellamy had told her about a support group and she went to her first meeting the night before. The counselor, James, said her reaction had been normal, that suffering from two separate occasions of sudden loss in such a short amount of time was a lot for anyone to take.

The people in their group were wonderful and ranged from ones who lost children, parents
, or close friends. Some were sudden deaths, others were sickness and one was even a heartbreaking suicide. People handled their grief differently and everyone had different outlets for releasing it. Even though it was eight years ago, Bellamy still broke down when talking about losing her daughter, Rose. Journey had left the meeting feeling a little better than she had before. She knew it would take time to get over it, but at least she didn’t feel the crippling weight on her chest anymore.

The bell rang and jerked her back into the present.
The principal was wonderful and let her come back with no problem. A lot of her students had left cards for her. She was packing up her bag when she looked up and found Zach standing in her doorway. Standing up, she went around the desk to give him a hug.

“How are you doing, sweetheart?”

“I’m doing better. Are you coming this weekend?” She and Dylan had decided to do a big cookout with their friends and family.

“Of course I’ll be there.
Do you need me to bring anything?”

“Nope
, just yourself. The kids are excited to see you.” She vowed that she was going to hold tight to her friends and the new family she’d been accepted into.

“Great, I can’
t wait to see them, too. Grab your bag, I’ll walk out with you.”

They made small talk as they made their way out to the parking lot. It felt nice talking to Zac
h since they hadn’t really spoke in a while, but she wasn’t going to let him off the hook that easy anymore. When they reached her car she smiled up at him. “I’ll see you Saturday.”

“See you Saturday, beautiful.”
He hugged her one more time and then walked away.

When she go
t home, Dylan was already there. He was picking up the kids, so he left work early. She stepped through the front door and was met with silence. She looked out back but they weren’t there and when she went back into the living room, Dylan was standing in the middle of it by himself.

“Hey
, baby.” She came towards him, smiling. “Where are the kids?”

“Mom’s taking them to dinner
with Care Bear. They’ll be back in a while.” Dylan wrapped his arms around her, pulling her close.

“Oh, so we’re alone, huh?
What should we do about that?” She let her hand slide down his chest until she reached his hardening dick. He put his hand on top of hers, halting her movements.

“You don’t know how much I love the sound of that, but I wanted to talk to you about something.
Let’s sit.” She felt her stomach flutter as she let him lead her to the sofa.

“Sure, what did you want to talk about?”

He cupped her face in his hands
. “I love you, Journey. I love you so fucking much. I know we haven’t been together that long, but I know how I feel. You’re it for me. I want you to marry me, I want us to have more children and grow old together. I’ve booked us two tickets to Vegas. We leave Saturday morning and come home Sunday night. Bellamy and Luke are going to come with and be our witnesses. Stacy’s morning sickness is too bad, so they can’t come, but she wants to throw us a shower when we get home. I know I’m assuming you’re going to say yes, but please say yes.”

Journey was speechless. He wanted to marry her?
It should be freaking her out, but it didn’t. It filled her with a peaceful feeling that she hadn’t felt in a very long time. They’d officially be a family. The thought of more babies filled her with so much happiness she couldn’t contain it.

“Yes, Dylan. Let’s go to Vegas and get married.”
He kissed her roughly as the tears leaked from her eyes. His tongue thrust into her mouth and glided against hers, his taste filling her.

She felt him hoist her up and over him until she was straddling his lap. She was glad she wore a dress to work and it had been warm enough that she didn’t need to wear hose.
His hands slid up the back of her thighs until he reached her cheeks, squeezing them in his large hands. He rocked her against his hardness. A moan crept past her lips and into his mouth. From behind, his fingers slipped into her panties. She knew he was going to feel how wet she was for him already.

“
Oh damn, baby, so wet for me. These need to go,” he growled as he ripped them from her body. That set her body on fire.

She reached down, quickly ripping open his jeans.
He lifted his ass enough so he could help her slide them down. As soon as his cock was out, he grabbed her and pulled her down until he was buried deep inside her. A groan slipped past her lips and her head fell back. His lips slid up her neck as she started riding him. On every downward thrust he would lift his hips. Together he was hitting her sweet spot.

“
Baby, you’re not wearing a condom. I’m not on the pill,” she exclaimed.

“I wouldn’t be inside you bare unless I knew I was clean. I want to put another baby inside you.”

She started coming immediately. Her back arched, her hips rocking as her orgasm went on and on. Once it started to fade, she knew he was starting to come when he grabbed her hips and pulled her up and down, faster and faster. Attacking his mouth with her lips, she felt him start to grow longer and harder inside her until she felt the warmth of his come inside her, setting off little aftershocks. His hands gripped her hair as they continued to kiss.

With his cock softening inside her
, she made no move to get up.

“
Baby, reach into my pocket.”

She leaned against his chest and slid her hand into his pocket.
Her fingers grazed something smooth and cool. Her hand moved further into the pocket. With it in her hand, she pulled out. Before she could get a look at it, Dylan snatched it out of her hand. He held it up in front of her face. The ring was a simple gold band topped with a round cut diamond. “I know it’s not much, but when I saw it, I could picture it on your finger.”

“It’s beautiful, Dylan.
I’d be honored to wear it.” She held out her hand, smiling as Dylan slipped it on her finger. “We’re getting married,” she whispered staring at her hand. “We’re going to have babies.”

“Does that make you happy?”

She nodded and smiled at him. Leaning against his chest he wrapped his arms around her again. Realizing they were both still dressed made her giggle. In just a few short days, she was going to be Mrs. Dylan Carmichael. Even though they weren’t there physically, she knew that her parents and Nan would be watching over them.

“I love you, soon-to-be Mrs. Carmichael.”

“Well, I love you, Mr. Carmichael. You realize we’re being really corny, don’t you?” She smiled down at him.

“Well
, I don’t know how corny it is, considering my cock is still inside of you.”

“Oh my god!
You’re terrible. We should probably clean ourselves up before your mom comes home with the kids.” She lifted herself off of him, his come running down her leg as she stood.

Grabbing her ripped underwear off the floor
, she threw them at him. “You owe me a new pair.” She wiggled her hips at him right before she started to saunter away. She could hear Dylan stand up and the sound of his zipper going up. When she reached the bathroom door, she felt Dylan’s arms wrap around her. “What are you doing? They’ll be home soon.”

“We have plenty of time. I need you again, baby.
” He stripped her out of her dress before stripping his own clothes off. Then he carried her into the shower.

Lying in bed
, Journey snuggled against Dylan’s chest. It turned out to be one of the best days she had had in a long time. All of Dylan’s family knew what he was doing, so they all stopped by when Ruth brought the kids back. She felt so much love coming from them as they congratulated her. Cash even surprised her by showing up. Dylan had reached out to him and invited him to come over too. She loved that he was making an effort for her.

“Thank you, for today.”
She kissed his chest.

“Thank you for saying yes.” His arms wrapped tighter around her.

Journey was looking forward to what their future held.

Epilogue

Six years later

Journey stood out in the kitchen getting everything ready. It was Dylan’s fortieth birthday and she and the kids were bringing him breakfast in bed. It was a tradition they started when Abby turned six. They each came in delivering their present for the birthday boy or girl and then she brought in her gift and their special breakfast.

She plated his bacon, eggs
, and hash browns and set it on the tray next to his juice and coffee. The kids all stood there waiting impatiently as always. Her heart warmed as she stared at her babies. Of course, Abby hated being called a baby. She was almost twelve and a little beauty. She was still petite for her age. Joey was almost eight and almost bigger than his sister. He looked so much like Dylan it was scary. He was already a hit with the ladies. She’d already been called down to the school half a dozen times because he was always kissing the girls. Ruth promised her it was just a phase and that Dylan’s brother was the same way when he was that age.

Parker was born almost exactly nine months after they got married.
He was a combination of both of them. He had Dylan’s dark hair and her pale blue eyes. Parker was her little sweetheart and he was a total momma’s boy. He loved to follow Abby and Joey around wherever they went.

After Parker, they decided not to have any more kids, but
three years ago they went to Vegas for a long weekend. They had gone out and had a little too much fun and had forgotten a condom, twice. Nine months later, Haddie was born. She was their little diva already. She was the baby and had three older siblings that doted on her constantly. Dylan swore she was already fluttering her eyelashes to get what she wanted. Her short curly locks were a strawberry blonde. They had no clue where the red came from. Her eyes were the same bright, clear blue that her daddy had.

Their house was constantly a zoo, but she loved every minute of it.
Dylan was an amazing husband and father. He helped coach the teams their kids played on. Saying yes to marrying him had been the best decision she ever made.

“Okay
, kiddos. Are we ready to surprise Daddy?”

They all nodded eagerly as Journey picked up the tray with his breakfast on it.
When they reached their bedroom, she knocked on the door to let Dylan know they were coming in. Abby went first. Journey smiled, watching Abby hop up onto the bed.

“
Happy birthday, Daddy.” Dylan’s gaze always softened when Abby called him that.

“Thank you, baby girl.”
He opened the new pajamas that Abby picked out for him. “These are great.” He kissed her cheek before she moved away.

Joey came bounding up to the bed next
. “Dad, I got you the best present.”

Dylan looked at Journey and winked
. “Let’s see what it is then.” He unwrapped what was obviously a ball—a soccer ball. “I love it, dude. Thank you.” Joey hugged him tight.

Joey
looked at Abby and smirked. She stuck her tongue out at him and looked at him with disgust. They loved each other, but fought like cats and dogs. Parker and Haddie brought theirs to him together. She didn’t know how Parker could lift Haddie up on the bed, but he did. Haddie immediately crawled right into her daddy’s lap. She grabbed his cheeks and kissed his lips. She was going through a phase where she liked kissing everyone on the mouth.

Parker had gotten him a new wallet and Haddie got him a new shirt.
Of course Journey was the one that picked out Parker and Haddie’s gifts. Abby and Joey picked out their own presents.

***

Dylan smiled when Journey came walking in with breakfast on a tray for him. After giving birth to three children, but raising four, she was even more beautiful to him. The nightgown she wore highlighted her curves. He couldn’t have asked for a better mother for his children. The kids were never lacking for love or attention.

He took the tray from Journey after sitting Haddie next to him, kissing Journey’s lips.
“Thanks, baby. You guys have made this a perfect birthday.” Journey grabbed Haddie and they left the room. Abby herded Joey and Parker to the door, but turned back to him.

“Daddy
, can I talk to you for a minute?”

“Sure, sweetheart.
Come here.” Dylan patted the bed next to him. “What’s going on?”

He was having a hard
time knowing that his little girl was growing up. Journey was letting her wear lip gloss, which he hated. She was a beautiful girl and the boys were starting to notice. He’d threatened Journey that he was going to start building up a gun collection. Dylan knew her brothers would keep an eye on her.

“There’s this boy at school
—he wants me to go to the arcade with him next weekend. Can I go?” He knew why she was asking him first. Journey was a bit of a stickler with the no “date” rule. It wasn’t like he was super thrilled with the idea of his baby going on a date, either.

“I need to talk to your mom, but you keep doing your chores and helping with your brothers and sister
and I’ll put in a good word for you.” She threw her arms around him.

“Thanks
, Daddy.” She kissed his cheek and then ran out of the room.

That girl was the reason he had gray hair popping up all over the place.
He was forty fucking years old. It was hard to believe. Today his parents were throwing him and Dustin a birthday party. He knew his wife and Stacy had something to do with it. He grabbed his cellphone off the nightstand and called his brother.

“Happy birthday, bro
,” Dustin said.

“Happy birthday to you, too
. You having a good day so far?”

The asshole was in a house full of women
, so he knew they were all waiting on him hand and foot. It was karma at its finest that the former manwhore had nothing but girls. After Daisy, daughter number three, he got snipped. Violet was the same age as Joey. They were close, and although she used to be a tomboy, she was starting to be more girly. Lilah was five and the brawler. She had a temper more like Dylan, and then there was Daisy. Daisy was three and a singer like her momma. When Stacy would sing with her cousins’ band, Daisy would come up with her, and made up her own words to the songs. He loved that his brother was so happy. He might bitch and moan about having a house full of women but they were his whole world.

“I’m having a great day.
Stacy made me breakfast and then they all snuggled in bed with me while we watched cartoons. It’s been pretty great. I can’t believe Mom’s having a party for us. What are we, twelve?”

“I know what you mean, like I want to be reminded that I’m forty and my wife is still in her twenties.
” Sure, Journey was twenty-nine, but still it sounded bad in his head. He’d gotten over their age differences a long time ago. He didn’t need to go there again. “I think it’s more for Stacy and Journey.”

“Yeah
, I think you’re right. Listen, I’m going to go, but I’ll see you later.” Dylan could hear Dustin’s girls shouting in the background.

“Okay, see you later. Love you, man. Happy birthday.”

“Love you too. See ya!”

Dylan pulled into driveway at his parents’ place and turned the van off.
He always thought after he and his brother and sister grew up that their parents would sell the house and move. They never did, and then the grandbabies came along. It wasn’t unusual for them to keep nine grandchildren for the night. They liked having the big house for everyone to gather in. As he got out, Luke and Bellamy were pulling in, too. Carrington and Abby ran to each other like they didn’t just see each other the day before. Carrington was nine, and if anyone called her Care Bear, she let them have it. She was too old for that name, or at least that’s what she told everyone.

Little Luke Jr.
, or L.J, was almost seven and was addicted to all things superheroes. Every day the kid wore something that had a superhero on it. It looked like it was Superman’s turn to come to a party. Bellamy approached him with a big smile on her face.

“Happy birthday!” His sister was a beauty just like their mom.
That girl had gone through something so tragic and come out stronger on the other side.

“Thanks
, beautiful. What’s up, kiddos?” L.J came over, hugging him right away, but Cari had to act like she was put out. He knew it was just an age thing, but it was hard to see his little niece grow up.

They all went around the side of the house to get to the back deck. He and his brother froze as they saw all of the people there to celebrate with them.
Zach, Skeeter, Journey’s brother, and even Bell’s friends, Brad and Travis and their daughter Lexi were there. The kids were all running around the backyard playing together and his wife’s arms were wrapped around his waist.

“Journey
, this has been the best birthday ever. Thank you.” He kissed her quick before going to greet everyone. After everything his family had been through over the years it was nice that things were pretty damn good. Everyone was healthy and happy. As he made his way to the stairs, he stopped and closed his eyes for a second. He was giving thanks for everything and everyone he had in his life. When he met his parents at the top of the steps, he smiled.

The End