Becoming Americans (70 page)

      Reverend Parker spoke to a small gathering of believers and the curious at the Pridgen house. Junior had attended church services once, in Edenton, and he had vague memories of a service when he'd gone to Deep Creek as a young child, but the visions were of colorful robes and music. He remembered women in dresses of shiny cloth, and men wearing colorful coats and shoes with silver buckles. Reverend Parker wore no robe. Indeed, he dressed no better than his country congregation. Most of his listeners wore rough, homespun cloth, woven from the flax or cotton they'd grown, or old clothes that came with them from Virginia and had been patched and altered beyond recognition. Three young couples were wearing new, clean clothes, but the garments weren't ornamented and their wearers were scattered among the small congregation, making no attempt to separate themselves because of the apparent worldly success they enjoyed. The slaves wore tattered cloth from cotton they'd grown, picked, seeded, twisted, and woven in their spare time.

      Their short preacher stood on an oak stump that raised him level with the people and allowed him to confront each listener eye-to-eye. Most of them were young couples with children. Other men were alone, looking for lone females. Junior wondered who all these people were and if he'd ever know them. He looked at the young men who formed a loose knot and saw them staring back at him and Mary. He stepped closer to her, full of pride, but soon became entranced with the words and style of Reverend Parker.

      Parker's voice was soft and smooth sounding, as Junior's had been when he was wooing Mary and, at times, loud and demanding, as his own did when cheering on a favorite cock or horse.

      "A great many scoffers of these last days will ask such as they term pretenders-to-the-Spirit, how they know the Spirit. They might as well ask how they know, and how they feel the sun when it shines upon the body? For with equal power and demonstration does the Spirit of God work and convince the soul."

      Junior admitted to himself that he was a scoffer. He'd wondered how the Baptist folk he'd met could be so sure that God had come to them, like He'd done to the Prophets he mother had talked of.

      "…and my design from these words is to show the manner in which the Holy Ghost generally works upon the hearts of those, who, through grace, are made vessels of mercy, and translated from the kingdom of darkness into the kingdom of God's dear Son."

      Junior was ready to hear that. He leaned on one foot.

      "If any of you ridicule inward-religion, or think there is no such thing as our feeling or receiving the Holy Ghost, I fear my preaching will be quite foolishness to you, and that you will understand me no more than if I spoke to you in an unknown tongue. But as the promise in the text I read is made to the world, and as I know it will be fulfilling till time shall be no more, I shall proceed to explain the general way whereby the Holy Ghost works upon every converted sinner's heart."

      The young men standing together laughed loudly.

      "Proceed," one of the called.

      "No unknown tongues!" yelled another.

      "…and I hope that the Lord, even whilst I am speaking, will be pleased to fulfill it in many of your hearts."

      More hoots and invitations for revelations came from the scoffers.

      "First, the Spirit of God convinces of sin, and generally of some enormous sin. The worst, perhaps, the convicted person ever was guilty of…"

      Preacher Parker spoke slowly and threateningly.

      Junior heard Mathias Manning clear his throat, and he saw Mary lower her head.

      "He convinces them of some heinous actual sin, and at the same time brings all their other sins into remembrance."

      Junior didn't have to think long and far to remember other sins; the lust that gripped him all the time, the jug of brandy he stole from Mister Battle. He'd blinded Jimmy Eatmon in a fight he'd started himself, if truth be known. He felt badly about that. Drunkenness and oath-taking had become regular sins of his before Mary came along.

      Parker went on, seeming to read Junior's mind. He stepped down from his stump, and paced back and forth.

      "Did the Spirit of God ever bring your sins together in remembrance, and make you cry out to God, 'Thou writest bitter things against me?' Did your actual sins ever appear before you, as though drawn in a map?"

      He stopped and faced his listeners. He examined the Manning family, hesitating on each one of them.

      When his eyes were freed, Junior looked around, hoping that others weren't staring at him, feeling heavy with remembrance.

      "Father, when the Comforter comes into a sinner's heart, though it generally convinces the sinner of his actual sin first, yet it leads him to see and bewail his original sin, the fountain from which all these polluted streams do flow. The sin that lay with Eve. 'In Adam we all have died.' That original sin from which all these polluted streams do flow."

      Junior's heart was beating faster. He no longer looked about the crowd. He was caught up in the message he was hearing for the first time.

      "…which exalteth itself is immediately thrown down and he is made to cry out 'Who shall deliver me from the body of this death?'"

      Reverend Parker's voice had risen to a thunder. He was back on the stump, his fist pounding into his hand. He rose to his toes, then stamped his foot on the stump.

      "You are conceived and born in sin and God would be just if He damned you though you never committed an actual sin in your lives!"

      He went on until Junior was convinced of the worthlessness of his life, and that a gaping hole of fire awaited him in eternity.

      "And was this degree of conviction ever wraught in any of your souls? Were you ever made to lie at the feet of sovereign Grace and to say, 'Lord, if they will, thou mayest save me; if no, thou mayest justly damn me; I have nothing to plead, I can in no wise justify myself in Thy sight; my best performance, I see, will condemn me; and all I have to depend upon is Thy free grace?"

      Parker stood silent, his arm held by his side.

      Junior's hands were clasped in the way his mother had taught him to pray. He was helpless, lost, and sinking with his sins.

      "But there is a sin which our Lord mentions as though it was the only sin worth mentioning. It is the reigning as well as the damning sin of the world. It is that cursed sin, that most of all other sins, the sin of unbelief."

      At the sound of the word "belief," the young scoffers set up a howl. Baptist dissenters and their emphasis on belief were as humorous to them as the comical display of "dipping" was for baptism.

      "Perhaps you may think you believe because you repeat the Creed, or subscribe to a Confession of Faith, because you go to church, receive the sacrament, and are taken into full communion. I put this question to you, 'How long have you believed?'"

      One of the young men called out, "As long as I can remember," another, "I never did disbelieve!"

      "Unless you were sanctified from your infancy there was a time when you did not believe," Parker answered them. "None of us believe by nature. After the Holy Ghost has convinced us of our sins, that we are utterly helpless to save ourselves, and that we must be beholden to God for everything. Including our faith, without which it is impossible to be saved by Christ. 'Dost thou believe on the Son of God?' is the question which the Holy Ghost now puts to our soul."

      By then, most were caught up with Reverend Parker. Junior was fixed on the preacher and his words. He knew he was a helpless sinner and that everlasting punishment awaited him. He had come to the service thinking Mathias Manning was only angry about his sinning with Mary, but he saw that his sins were deeper, beyond the law and anger. His very soul was sinful. He despaired of all the evil he'd committed in his short life, and he despaired of the deserving punishment he'd receive in payment.

      "…that is the especial gift of God, and without this special gift we can never come to Christ…"

      Junior wanted the special gift. He wasn't deserving, he knew, but he longed for salvation.

      "…and when, therefore, the Spirit places the sinner naked before the judgment bar of a sovereign, holy, just, and sin-avenging God…"

      A woman screamed with terror of her judgment, and then another cried out, "Holy Jesus!" and fell to the ground.

      "Then, then it is, when the sinner's soul, having the sentence of death within itself because of unbelief has a sweet display of Christ's righteousness made to it by the Holy Spirit of God…"

      As Reverend Parker held out the possibility of salvation through belief, Junior began to know it: the truth. A sense of freedom came to him; liberty; lightness, the promise of salvation. He believed in the power of God to relieve him of his sins and guilt. The Holy Spirit had descended to him and taken that weighty load from his conscience. His body trembled.

      "…now justified by faith has peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, and can triumphantly say, 'It is Christ that justifies me, who is he that condemns me?"

      "Thank you, blessed Jesus, thank you!" Junior cried.

      The preacher continued, but Junior didn't hear. He was on his knees crying, holding Mary's hand as she, too, knelt in tears. Mathias and Elizabeth stood above them, each with a hand on one of the young peoples' shoulders. Elizabeth was crying from happiness, and Mathias looked down with satisfaction and wet eyes.

      The body of believers at the service welcomed Junior's profession of faith and that of other new believers. They were passed among the brethren for embracing and a kiss of fellowship. Junior would be baptized on the same day as his marriage. Itinerant preachers traveled large areas, and a meeting every five weeks was as much as any location could hope for. Preaching, weddings, and baptisms were arranged so that these Sundays were long, happy days for everyone.

      For the next four Sundays Parker was to announce the intention of the engaged couple in the meetings where he preached around the county. At the Little Sapony, it was a joyful month for the new convert as he basked in his newfound status in the family and with strangers who came to visit.

      Junior was the first, that Sunday morning, and he dug his toes into the sand and pebble beach that edged this favorite spot on the river. He wore a new pair of knee breeches that Elizabeth Manning had made from material she'd brought from Norfolk County. She was making baby clothes from his old breeches, now soft with wear.

      Reverend Parker prayed, as he stood in the water up to his waist, then motioned for Junior and the eight other new converts to approach. Junior looked up to the heavens. He didn't know what to expect, but surely the Lord would make instant changes in him when he hit the water. His lustful thoughts were still there, and he was hesitant to have them leave.

      Reverend Parker held him about the waist, the other hand atop his head. With no warning other than the words "…Father, Son, and Holy Ghost," Junior was dunked backwards into the water three times amidst shouts of joy and celebration from the shore. He sloshed back to the riverbank and slipped to the ground on the muddy bank, causing him to cry out, "Be damned!" People tried to ignore his blasphemy, for the moment, and looked to Mary.

      Mary wore a dress that had been loaned to her by Nan Tucker, the wife of John Tucker, and a neighbor. Nan Tucker had been sufficiently ample in her youth so that the dress could be arranged to make Mary's belly less visibly obtrusive. But there was no embarrassment in the crowd for the union of Stephen Williams, Junior and Mary Manning. The couple had realized their sin and God had forgiven them, in His grace, so what could people say of them?

      Junior wore no waistcoat for the wedding, but he did have on a coat. It belonged to Mathias Manning, and had seen better days. The black material fit closely at the waist then fell away, flaring from the hips. The front skirts curved back slightly, and buttons covered with the same black wool were sewn as decoration at the tops of side vents where pleats were stitched. A folded neckerchief was tied around Junior's neck and fell down the front of his best linen shirt. He wished his mother were here.

      Laws of the province didn't recognize Baptist weddings, but that was of no consequence to those in attendance. The saved and baptized didn't recognize all the province laws, anyway, and few of its rules of behavior.

      "Will you, Stephen, take this woman, Mary, to be your wedded wife, to live together after God's ordinance in the holy state of marriage, to love, honor, and cherish in sickness and in health, in prosperity and adversity, and forsaking all others, keep only under her so long as both should live?"

      Junior smiled at this first use of his real name, Stephen, and said, "I will."

      The same question was asked of Mary and she quickly blurted, "Yes," and then, more modestly, "I will."

      Reverend Parker then took their hands and held them together saying, "These whom God hath joined together let no man put asunder." He then pronounced the lovers man and wife, "in the name of the Father, Son, and Holy Ghost."

      Junior knew that now he was a man, and recognized as such by the congregation. He saw in Mary's eyes that she recognized it, and the lustful groom was eager to shed his fancy clothes and exercise his prerogative as husband.