Because of Rebecca (10 page)

Her hand crept up his arm to his neck, holding his head so he couldn’t pull away. Her fingers speared through his damp hair, sending shivers down his spine.

His body hardened and he groaned, pulling away before he lost his head completely. He walked toward the French doors on the opposite side of the library afraid she might see what had started out as an innocent kiss had done to him. He didn’t want to frighten her, or make her think he was on the verge of losing control.

Startled by her reckless behavior, Rebecca calmed her breathing and admired Jared as he stood facing the French doors. She didn’t know what had gotten into her asking such a question. But she’d received her answer. It frightened—yet excited her—that he felt the same about her after only meeting a few days ago.

She smiled and wondered if it could finally be happening for her. Had she met the man with whom she’d spend the rest of her life?

Still staring at him, she noticed how nicely he filled out his clothes and her naughty mind went to wandering again. She recalled his kiss and her knees trembled. She never imagined a kiss could drain her of her strength. But then, she’d never kissed a man before, and not just any man, a man like Jared Hollingsworth.

You’re supposed to be a widow. A widow with a child who has had experience kissing a husband, sharing his bed, making love to him and bearing him a child.

Silently, she groaned at the thought of her lie to Jared and she worried that she’d revealed herself by her reaction to his kiss.
Had that been the reason he’d pulled away? Had he suspected her inexperience?

As if sensing she stared at him, he turned and held out his hand to her. She walked toward him, moistening her bruised lips with the tip of her tongue. He pulled her close against his chest, lifting her hand to his mouth. He brushed his lips across her knuckles and shut his eyes.

Rebecca’s cheeks warmed.
Was he as shaken by their kiss as she?
Closing her eyes, she breathed in his manly scent. She wanted to stay in his arms for the rest of her life, but that was a dream. She couldn’t abandon Lucas.

What about Ruth? Have you forgotten about her?

Frustrated by the thought, she tensed. Why was getting this poor woman to her family becoming such a problem? Her attempts to complete the mission had been halted by one factor or another. He hadn’t even acknowledged her last missive. How much longer could she wait before pursuing the mission at hand?

She took a deep breath. “Jared?” Her voice cracked as she spoke his name.

“Yes?” He slowly opened his eyes. His warm smile of contentment nearly took her breath away.

“I think it’s time we started discussing our plans for Ruth. I must get her out of Jackson soon.”

His brows furrowed and he stepped away from her. “I’ll do anything for you, Rebecca, but I really don’t see how I can help you with this.”

“You don’t?”

He shook his head, opened the French doors and walked out onto the upper verandah. He glanced at her over his shoulder before he spoke again. “No.”

“B—but—” His words made no sense. How couldn’t he help her with the mission? He was her liaison after all, wasn’t he?

With the force of a bolt of lightning realization dawned and she felt a sickly churning form in her stomach. She thought back to the first missive from her liaison. He’d said he’d be in touch and he’d be wearing a yellow rose.

Jared had worn a yellow rose, so why had he never discussed the mission with her? She’d been the one to initiate talk of Ruth and it had led to nothing.

The churning in her stomach tightened and she couldn’t breathe. She opened her mouth to speak, but no words would come. The horror written on her face reflected in his eyes and she knew her knees would buckle underneath her.

Oh my God! He’s not Hollingsworth. He’s not my liaison. What have I done?

She’d wasted all this time, possibly putting Ruth and her real liaison in danger. Bile filled Rebecca’s mouth as the thought of what could happen if they were caught during the transition. Her temples throbbed and she took a few deep, steadying breaths, which made her feel that much more light-headed. She swayed.

“Rebecca! Are you all right?” Jared caught her before she collapsed.

She laid her head against his chest and breathed in the spicy scent of him until she regained as much of her composure as possible. Tears of frustration formed in her eyes and she couldn’t stop them from streaming down her face. The committee had put their trust in her to complete this mission and she’d failed.

“No, no!” she cried.

“Rebecca, what is wrong?” The urgency in his voice made matters worse because she knew she couldn’t tell him the truth.

She wiped her eyes with the back of her hand. “Jared, I must return to town at once.” She stepped out of his arms to the railing and looked down into the garden until she spotted her aunt near the rose bushes. “Aunt Josephine! Aunt Josephine! We must leave now.”

“Rebecca, what the devil is going on?” he demanded, coming up behind her.

She tried to smile, but failed. “I’m sorry to frighten you. But, I must return to town and take care of a matter immediately.”

“Does this have anything to do with Ruth?”

She nodded, stepping away from him. “Please don’t ask. I can’t explain.”

Jared watched as she turned and rushed from the library, disappearing down the hall.

What the hell had just happened?

Chapter Eight

Jared stalked to the railing and watched Josephine join Rebecca in front of the house. She was still deeply upset. Josephine looked up at him with an icy glare.

Jared jammed his hands in his pockets and went down the back stairs out to the stables. He avoided Mary and the Paxton girls. He wasn’t in the mood to speak to anyone.

Inside the stables, he spotted Higgins brushing a young colt. “Miss Davis and her aunt need to return to town. Please prepare the carriage at once.”

“Yes, sir,” Higgins replied, dropping the brush into a nearby bucket.

Jared did an about face and joined the women at the edge of the garden where Josephine tried to calm Rebecca.

“The carriage will be ready for your departure shortly, ladies.”

“What have you done to my niece, Mr. Hollingsworth?”

“He hasn’t done anything,” Rebecca said, pacing.

“Well something happened to upset you,” Josephine declared.

“Rebecca—” He tried once more to speak with her, but the carriage rolled up and Higgins jumped down to assist them inside.

“Thank you for your hospitality, Jared.” Rebecca spoke the formal, expected words, but there was no warmth.

How could she dismiss him so easily? Damn it, she owed him an explanation of some kind. He wanted to demand she explain herself, but his pride wouldn’t allow her to see she’d affected him. Nor did he want to discuss it in front of her aunt

“Good day, ladies.”

“Good day, Mr. Hollingsworth.” Josephine’s curt nod and clipped tone irritated him further as the carriage drove away.

His jaw clenched. How dare the woman assume the worst when he’d done nothing wrong. He’d welcomed them into his home. His only fault was he’d allowed himself to be manipulated by Rebecca’s beguiling smile. Her beauty. She made a complete package of temptation wrapped up with innocence.

Too much innocence for a widow.

****

As soon as they returned to the hotel, Rebecca rushed upstairs to check on Lucas.

“How’s my boy?”

“He’s napping, miss.” Charlotte looked up from the settee where she folded diapers.

Rebecca crossed to the bedroom. She stood at the crib in silence and watched Lucas sleep. Soon her breathing slowed, matching his. Her heart ached so badly at the feared ruined mission that she turned away. She went to the bed, fell across it, and cried until the tears fell no longer.

She’d failed miserably at her first assignment for the Vigilante Committee. It had all seemed so easy when she accepted this task.

“Now, now,” Josephine soothed, sitting down on the corner of the bed and rubbing Rebecca’s back. “Why don’t you tell me what’s wrong?”

Rebecca looked up, wiped tears from her face, and sniffed. “There isn’t anything you can do to help me. I’ve made a terrible mistake. A terrible mistake.”

“Did he try to take advantage of you?”

She pushed herself to a sitting position and stared. “How can you even think he’d lay a hand on me?”

Josephine patted her hand. “I did leave the two of you alone in the house without a chaperone. I know the housekeeper was preoccupied with those darling girls so it was possible he took liberties.”

Rebecca’s cheeks flamed. How could Josephine assume Jared’s guilt so easily? “The mistake I speak of is my own doing. Jared had nothing to do with it, unfortunately. And that is the problem.”

Josephine gaped at her, covering her heart with her hand. “Are you saying you acted the wanton and he refused you?”

“No!”

“Then I don’t understand.”

In spite of the tears flowing down her cheeks, Rebecca threw back her head and laughed.

“What’s so funny?”

“You. Not everyone finds intimacy outside of marriage as scandalous as you do.”

Josephine crossed herself. “I’m going to pretend I didn’t hear that. Surely you wouldn’t consider going to a man’s bed that wasn’t your husband’s.”

“If the moment arose and I loved the man deeply and he loved me the same…”

Her aunt clutched her hands together and looked up to the ceiling. “Heavenly Father please forgive her for saying these things which she surely doesn’t mean.”

She shouldn’t tease her aunt, but she couldn’t help it when the woman frustrated her so much. She wiped the remaining tears from her eyes and got up from the bed, knowing what she had to do. “I have some letters to write. Thank you for the talk.”

“But you haven’t told me what’s wrong,” Josephine called after her.

Rebecca ignored her, going into the sitting room. There was no need to explain. She’d said more than enough already.

Sitting down at the secretary, she took out a sheet of stationery and began writing the hardest letter she’d ever written, and yet the simplest. It was the Vigilante Committee’s code for defeat.

By sending it, she’d be admitting failure on her first mission to her superiors. But what more could she do? She’d been unsuccessful in meeting her liaison. She’d never reached Ruth.

Dearest Ophelia,

I hope this letter finds you well. I, however, am at my wits end. Please send assistance before I drown.

Your dutiful servant,

R. J. Bingham

*****

Josephine watched Rebecca struggle with her letter. She didn’t understand what had gone on between her niece and Mr. Hollingsworth. But if Rebecca said it was her mistake, she would have to accept that explanation.

She knew all too well about making mistakes where love was concerned. She’d lived the last eighteen years repenting for her youthful transgression. Finding solace in her conviction to serve the church, she had never questioned the Almighty for taking her Charles away at a young age.

Josephine took out a handkerchief and her lace prayer veil from the top dresser drawer. She checked her hair, fixing a few pins to secure the chignon before putting on the veil.

“I’m going to Mass. Would you like to join me?” she asked.

Rebecca looked up and shook her head. “I don’t want to leave Lucas for too long.”

“Very well. I’ll see you later.”

It bothered Josephine that Rebecca didn’t practice their faith more diligently. She’d tried to set a good example for her niece after her brother and his wife had died. However, she feared she’d failed, especially now that she had proclaimed she’d have no regret taking a lover before marriage if she desired.

“Youthful folly.” Josephine murmured. She stepped out of the hotel onto Main and spotted Doctor Gordon coming toward her. He waved and she waited for him at the corner.

“Good afternoon, Doctor Gordon. Are you going to Mass?” she asked.

“I am after I check on Lucas,” he replied.

“He’s napping at the moment.”

“Well, then perhaps afterwards.” He offered her his arm. “Do you mind walking over with me?”

“I’d like that.” She felt her cheeks warm when she took his arm. “How are Mrs. Paxton and the baby doing?”

“They’re good after the ordeal. Her coloring has returned and the boy is eating heartily. Paxton’s puffed up like a bantam rooster.”

“That’s wonderful. I’m so glad you were able to save that family from heartache. My d-niece died in childbirth last year.”

“I’m sorry to hear that, Josephine.”

“Thank you, Ancil.”

He reached across and patted the hand that lay in the crook of his arm and they walked toward St. Anna’s. She relaxed beside him, matching his step with her own. She smiled when Constance Fletcher and two other women from the ladies’ auxiliary came out of the mercantile. Constance didn’t look pleased and that made Josephine smile even brighter.

****

Shading her eyes from the noonday sun Rebecca stepped out of the hotel. She waited a few moments for her eyes to adjust to the sun before she headed to the post office to mail her letter. She wanted to return before Lucas woke.

Down the street she saw her aunt and Doctor Gordon going into St. Anna’s for Mass. It looked like things were progressing nicely between them. Good. Her aunt needed love and it wasn’t too late for her to have a family if she desired.