Beautifully Undone (The Beaumont Brothers #3) (6 page)

Melody

I woke up in Asher’s arms. We’d made love three times. After the last time, we’d both fallen asleep. I decided to call it “making love” in my mind and not just fucking. The word fucking sounded sexy when Asher said it, but for me, this time with him was more than just fucking. It was more than just sex. It would be forever ingrained in my mind as the most wonderful experience of my life. Asher would always be my first love. Always had been, always would be. No matter how many other guys I might be with in the future. I glanced at the clock on my phone. It was six thirty-two in the morning. If we didn’t want anyone to find out about us, I needed to go home.

I quietly shoved the covers aside, got out of the bed, and tiptoed to the bathroom. I picked up my clothes that lay piled on the floor and quickly got dressed. I would need to sneak into my apartment. I didn’t want to wake Erica. I didn’t want her to know I’d been with Asher. We were roommates, but that’s about as far as our friendship went. We weren’t that compatible. I liked sushi; she didn’t, and would always make a face whenever I brought it home. I enjoyed action movies; she wanted sappy love stories. I was fairly neat and liked a clean apartment, but she was a neat freak and always complained about stupid little things like the dishtowel not being properly hung on the hook. Hell, if it made it to the hook, I was a happy camper. Who cared if one side was longer than the other?

This wasn’t the first time I’d ever fallen asleep at Ash’s place while watching a movie or something, but I’d always stayed on the couch. This time, I was afraid I wouldn’t be able to hide the fact that I’d slept
with
Asher. Though sleeping only took up a small fraction of what we’d actually done. I came out of the bathroom and he was still asleep so I headed out to the living room and out the front door, closing it softly behind me until it latched.

I pulled my key out of my pocket and quickly unlocked my apartment door. I went straight to my bed and climbed in. Clothes and all.

God, I’d had sex with Ash.

Yanking the covers up to my chin and burying my face into my pillow, I smiled and reflected on the night we’d spent together.

As much as we’d talked about nothing changing between us, that we’d always be best friends, something had changed tonight, and I feared that Ash and I would never be the same. I would always look at him differently. I’d always know how it felt when he kissed me. I’d always know how it felt to have him move inside of me. And I’d always know how wonderful it felt when we climaxed together. And I’d always wonder if he thought of us and what we’d done when he looked at me; if he thought of me the same way I was thinking of him. He’d never be just my friend. He would forever be my first love.

Then I cried.

Asher

I heard Mel in the bathroom and guessed she was getting dressed to leave and go back to her own apartment. I would have given my right nut to have her come back into my bed with me, but I knew that was wrong so I feigned sleep, listened and waited for her to leave. When I heard the door shut, I sat up. What a mind fuck I’d created.

Mel had been the best thing in my life, and now I wondered if we’d ever be the same. Did we ruin everything? I knew I’d never look at her quite the same way again. I’d always be seeing her under me or on top of me. I’d always see her face as she enjoyed her first orgasm, her second and her third. I’d remember for the rest of my life how she moaned with pleasure every time I sank deep inside of her.

I was an ass.

I should have just left it alone. Let her go out with Alex and get hurt. But I couldn’t bear it. I knew if he hurt her I’d be the one to hold her afterwards, but I couldn’t stand the thought of him fucking her either. Not just fucking her, but being her very first. At least, this way, if she did go out with him, she’d know what it felt like to be loved during sex. Because that’s what happened with me. I didn’t fuck her; I’d made love to her.

I splayed my hand out over the pillow her head had rested on just a few short moments before. I pulled it to my face, inhaling the sweet scent of mango and pineapples from her hair. I closed my eyes, and as I drifted off to sleep, I tried hard to not hate myself for what I’d done.

My phone vibrated, and I opened my eyes. The time displayed on my phone read, eight seventeen. Several hours must have passed since Mel left. I swiped the on button to turn off the alarm I had permanently set on my phone. I forced myself up, and after hitting the head, I sauntered into the kitchen. I’d need a gallon of coffee this morning if I were going to do my usual five-mile run through the Presidio before going to the gym for the rest of my workout.

I thought about Mel and how beautifully sexy she’d been last night. I also thought about what she’d said about my half-brothers earlier in the day at my mom’s. She’d been right, as usual. My mom wanted me to locate them so I would have family. She was sure they’d want to know about me, and was positive that they didn’t already. Just one more stab of pain to my heart, knowing that my father never wanted to acknowledge me to the rest of his family. But Mel was right. I’d never know unless I made the effort to find them. But I didn’t think I could do it on my own. I wanted her to come with me. But I may have ruined that.

I didn’t know if we’d be able to sit in a car and be as carefree with each other as we had been before last night, because frankly, I wanted another taste of that lovely body of hers.

Melody

“When did your brother say he would be home?” my mom asked as she emptied her dishwasher.

I sat in her kitchen at the small wooden table we used to have dinner on every night. I’d driven out to see her since I hadn’t had a chance to stop in yesterday.

“Thanksgiving,” I said, keeping my eyes set on the flowered cup filled with hot herbal tea in front of me. My fingers twirled the small fringe of my scarf. I’d put it on that morning out of habit and I was glad I had. It made Asher feel closer somehow. Though I knew that was silly. I hadn’t seen Asher since we’d had sex last night. He’d gone out this morning before I’d even gotten out of bed. Running most likely. I knew he would. It was his thing. He always said he didn’t get the body he had by sleeping in and lounging around all day. Now I knew first-hand just what that gorgeous body felt like on top of me and under me. I wondered what he’d thought when he woke up and found me gone.

“Well, I can’t wait to see him. Life just isn’t the same since he moved to Phoenix.” She turned toward me after putting some cups away and fell silent for a few seconds as she stared at me. “What did you do differently?”

“Huh?”

“You look different. Did you do something with your hair?”

“No.”

“Well, something is different. You look…grown-up…or something. Who’s the boy?”

“What?”

“Who’s the boy who has you looking so dreamily into your tea?”

I’d been thinking about Asher and the awesome, mind-blowing sex we’d had last night, but I couldn’t tell her about that. And, why had she even asked? Did I have some message written on my forehead that said, “Just had my first fuck?” or “No longer a virgin?”

“I have a date tonight,” I finally blurted out. Good thing it was still true…though, I wasn’t as excited about it as I had been before…Asher. Shit, was I going to compare everything that happened to me now with “before Asher?”

“A date? Why didn’t you tell me? What’s his name, and where are you going?”

“This is why I didn’t tell you. The twenty questions.”

“Oh, come on, Melody. I’m your mother and I have a right to know the name of the boy you have a date with.”

“Alex Clayton. And he’s not a boy, he’s a man.”

“Okay. Well, since he’s a
man
, are you still on the pill?”

“Mom!” God, she was blunt and nosy.

“I’m just asking. I know you haven’t dated before, and I want you to be prepared that’s all.”

“I’m not thirteen. And really, Mom, I don’t know which is worse, you asking me if I am still on the pill or the thought that you are actually condoning the reasons one might need to be on the pill.”

“I’m not condoning sexual activity. I just want you to be cautious. That’s all. You’re an adult now, and well, you don’t have a lot of experience.”

“Now see, Mom? That’s the key word here, ‘adult.’ I am an adult.”

“Yes, you are. But I still worry, and you are still my child. No matter how old you are. Capisce?”

I reached out to grab my tea and knocked the cup over instead, spilling lukewarm tea that was sure to make a huge, ugly stain all over Mom’s linen placemat.

“Sorry, Mom.”

All this talk about sex had me flustered and I couldn’t help wish it were Asher we were talking about, not Alex. “Don’t worry about it. I’ll just throw it in the washer with some bleach. It will come out. So, where is he taking you?”

“To the Maroon Five concert at the Shoreline.”

“Isn’t that where we went with Ted and Asher for the Bridge School concert a few years ago? We had such a great time on the lawn. Will you be on the lawn or in the seats?”

“I don’t know. He didn’t say.” That was a good question, but I figured I’d be safe wearing jeans no matter where we sat.

“Well, be sure to take a warm jacket, honey. You know how cold the peninsula can get at night, especially this time of year.”

“Yeah, I know. I should get going if I’m going get home in time to shower and change. And I don’t want to get caught in rush hour traffic.”

I had three hours, but still, by the time I got home, it would be close to five, and I needed a shower. I’d left this morning without taking one because I hadn’t wanted to wash any remnants of Asher off me. I know that might sound nasty to some, but knowing it would be the only time we ever made love…I just couldn’t bring myself to remove the smell of him. Not yet.

I wanted to take my time, sit in the tub and shave my legs, curl my hair. I wasn’t sure what to expect on this date. I was excited about seeing Adam Levine, but I couldn’t stop the jitters from exploding inside me at the prospect of what might happen after the concert. Would Alex be as good as Asher was? Crap, there I went again. Would I always be comparing every man I slept with to Asher? I hadn’t considered that before. I bet Ash had known that would happen.

I kissed my mom goodbye and took off in my car.

I was lucky not to hit any traffic, and when I got home, I hurried up the stairs, passing Asher’s open door. I couldn’t help but peek in. There he was, sitting on his sofa, beer in hand and a football game on the TV.

“Hey,” I said.

He looked up. “Hey. You just getting in?”

“Yeah, I was at my mom’s. I gotta go.”

“Wait. Where are you going?” He set his beer down on the coffee table in front of him.

“I need to get ready. I have a date with Alex, remember?”

“You’re still going?” The incredulous look on his face made me mad. What did he expect? He’d said we would only be together that one time. He’d made up the rules. I had no choice but to live with them, and I had already made this date. It wasn’t my problem that he didn’t like Alex.

“Yeah.”

“I just thought that since…well, you know. I thought you might change your mind and not go. You’re not a virgin anymore so why go out with him?”

“It’s Maroon Five, Ash, and I never said that. You said you didn’t want Alex to be my first. And now he won’t be.”

“I still don’t think you should sleep with him.”

“Why, Asher? Why shouldn’t I sleep with him? Give me a good reason.”

“He’ll hurt you.”

“I’m a big girl. I can handle it. You can’t tell me who I can and can’t fuck.” I turned and took off to my apartment, not waiting for his response. Last night had been nothing more than fucking to him, and I didn’t want to stand in the hallway discussing my sex life.

I took a quick shower and quickly shaved my legs and underarms. I’d lost my mood for soaking in the tub. Asher made me mad as hell. He had no right to tell me that I shouldn’t go out with Alex. There was only one way I’d ever allow a guy—even Asher—to dictate whom my sexual partners might be. And that was if we were in a real loving relationship. And Asher and I definitely weren’t. He’d made that totally clear last night before we had sex. I couldn’t even think of it as making love anymore, because it wasn’t. I knew that now. That fantasy was over. It had been fucking. That’s all.

Just as I was putting the finishing touches on my makeup, there was a knock at the door. I opened it to find Alex standing there. A broad smile on his handsome face turned to a semi-frown when he noticed the mascara tube in my hand. He was fifteen minutes early.

“Oh. You’re not ready yet. Sorry, but I thought I’d better come a few minutes early. I heard there was an accident on the freeway.”

“Okay. I’m ready enough. Just let me get my coat.” I set the tube of makeup on the bathroom counter and adjusted my thong underwear, the underwear I should have been wearing last night. God, no wonder Ash only wanted that one time. I’d been wearing ugly, white, granny panties. I grabbed my coat from the hook and as I turned to lock my door, I heard Asher’s apartment door open. He walked out into the hall. Perfect timing. I bet he planned it.

“Hey, Ash, what’s up?” Alex gave Ash a nod.

“Nada. Mel, I’m glad I caught you. I’m gonna need your help tomorrow getting the rest of my mom’s stuff together.”

“Sure. What time?”

“Early. Around six.”

“Six? Why do you need to go that early?”

“I just do. I have a busy day tomorrow. So, I’ll wake you up sometime before that. I assume you’ll be home?” This he asked while giving Alex the evil eye.

“She’ll be home,” Alex said and chuckled. What did he find so amusing?

“Just checking,” Ash said. “Mel, don’t you think you should wear something warmer? It gets really cold at the shoreline at night.”

My hand went to my bare neck and exposed cleavage. I wasn’t wearing Ash’s scarf. I’d thought about grabbing it last minute but reconsidered, not wanting to wear something that reminded me of Ash while on my date with Alex.

“She’ll be okay. I’ll keep her warm,” Alex grinned. “We’d better get going or we’ll miss the first few songs.” Alex put his arm around me and ushered me toward the steps. I wanted to pound Ash for stalling us. He knew perfectly well I wasn’t planning to be home in the morning. That was if everything went the way it was supposed to go.

“Mel,” Ash called out to me as I took my first step down the stairs. I turned to look at him. “Don’t do it,” he said.

I lowered my eyes, not wanting to see him standing there, watching me leave. He looked so dejected. But why? I knew he cared about me as his friend, but really, he needed to either deal with the fact that I needed to experience other guys, or take me in his arms and profess his undying love for me. And I knew that was never going to happen. Not in this universe.

Alex kept his arm around me as we headed down the stairs.

“What’s he talking about?” Alex asked.

“Nothing important.”

“He sure made it seem important.”

“It’s nothing. Really. He just worries about smoking weed at concerts and wants to make sure I don’t,” I supplied and smiled at my quick thinking.

“He doesn’t need to worry about that. I don’t smoke, but we
can
drink, and if he’s worried about me drinking and driving, I have a surprise for you.” As he held the outside door leading to the sidewalk open, I walked through, my eyes widening in amazement at the sight of the limo parked at the curb, complete with the driver standing by its open door. “Our ride,” Alex grinned as he splayed his hand out toward the black, shiny car.

“A limo? Yeah, I guess there’s no worries about driving.”

“It’s the only way to go to a concert. No parking to worry about, and no worries about getting home.”

Classy
, I thought and shook my head at all the bad things Ash had said about Alex. Boy was he wrong.

We sipped champagne on the way to the Shoreline and nibbled on crackers and cheese. It was a good thing he’d thought to bring something to eat since I’d forgotten all about food before leaving.

Alex and I ended up sitting in the “real seats” underneath the canopy. They were great, actually—two rows back from the stage. Maroon Five and Adam Levine were stupendous. They even had heaters above us so I wasn’t cold at all. But it seemed like everything reminded me of Asher. I couldn’t get him out of my head. Especially the way he’d stood at his door, watching us leave as if it were the last time he’d ever see me. I hated that look on his face.

“Oh, God, Alex, that was so freakintastic!” I said as we piled into the limo.

“I know. Adam’s such a great performer,” he agreed. “Want some more champagne?” He held up the unfinished bottle we’d started on our way to the concert.

“No. I think I’ve had enough.” On top of the glass I’d had on the way to the show, I’d had two more glasses of wine during the concert. I wasn’t in the mood to get drunk with the prospect of Asher waking me up so early, and knowing him, he was probably waiting up to see what time I came home. God, why did he have to make such a big deal out of this? Just as I had that thought, Alex leaned in and kissed me. His tongue darted in between my lips before I even had a chance to get to know how his mouth felt against mine. I pulled back a bit, but he held on so tight I couldn’t break the seal. All I could think about was when Asher had kissed me the first time and how caring he’d been, how soft his lips felt, how tender and gentle he was when his tongue had entered my mouth. Alex was the complete opposite. He was hard and demanding and I wasn’t ready for that.

I finally freed myself from his mouth and shoved him back. Not too hard, but enough so that I could breathe. He smiled at me. “You okay?”

“Yeah, I…ah…I just didn’t expect that so quickly.” I didn’t know what to say. I didn’t want to kiss him again. All my plans to have sex with him had vanished the minute his tongue assaulted my mouth.

“That wasn’t quick. I’ve waited all night to kiss you.” He leaned in again for another kiss, but I turned my head and his lips landed on my cheek. “Okay. Something’s wrong.”

“I’m sorry. Alex. I thought I wanted this. I thought…I just can’t. The concert was fantastic and I thank you for taking me, but…I’m not going to sleep with you.” There. I said it.

He laughed.

“What’s so funny?”

“You.” He sat back in the seat and lifted the bottle of champagne out of the holder, pouring some into one of the flutes. Then guzzled in down.