Beautifully Broken (5 page)

             
Cole was silent for a while. For a moment I didn’t think he would answer, that or maybe he had nothing nice to say. “I want to know because you intrigue me. I like you Marley. It doesn’t make sense I know. Considering you are about as nice as a rabid squirrel but-“I cut him off quickly, not needing to hear about how nice I wasn’t, “Blue…” That answer surprised me… usually my favorite color was yellow, well more of a golden like the sun, but ever since I seen the color of Cole’s eyes, I found myself loving the color blue more and more. He smiled and nodded, “blue…that’s great.” I took slow sip of the shake, hitting the bottom of the glass. “What’s yours?” I looked up and tried to ignore the shock in his face. I must not be very nice if he is surprised over a simple question. “Green.”

             
We left the diner after a few more minutes of uncomfortable silence and climbed back into my car. I still had a few parts I had to pick up for Louise, so we made our way over and I went inside alone. My mind was still reeling, trying to piece together every complicated part of Cole. I couldn’t figure out his angle and men always had an angle, didn’t they?

             
I felt the exhaustion creeping in just as I pulled into the Bradley farm. I tried stifling yawn after yawn to no avail. Cole chuckled, “You should head home. Get some rest and I will see you tomorrow.” I could only nod, I was already dreading the nightmares that I prayed wouldn’t come. I don’t even remember making it home or stumbling into bed.

Chapter Six

             
I groaned loudly at the obnoxiously loud bell chiming over and over again at the crack of dawn. I rolled over flopping the blanket off of me. I could tell the day was already at a sweltering temperature because my body was sticking to my sheets. I growled and pulled myself from my bed, practically dragging myself to the bathroom. I desperately needed to rinse the stench of nightmares from my skin for the day.

             
I stumbled into my bathroom and glanced into the mirror, my face was smeared with dirt and I had deep purple bags under my eyes. The dreams, or memories rather had me tossing and turning for the majority of the night. I cranked on the shower and waited until steam filled the room. I stripped out of my underwear and climbed in flinching just a little from the scalding heat of the water. I closed my eyes and leaned my forehead against the shower, letting the hot water massage my aching muscles. Cole’s words swam in and out of my head, tormenting me with promises of a better future, hell a better present if I would just let my guard down and let myself live. I wanted so badly to entertain those ideas. I wanted to really live but that wasn’t in my cards.

             
The water started to run cold as I began to wash my hair so I quickly finished before the water turned icy and ruined my soothing hot shower. I jumped out and wrapped a towel around my hair and one around my body as I stepped out and into the living room. “Holy shit!” I screamed once I made my way inside. Cole was lounging on my couch practically like he owned it. “What the hell Hercules!” I yelled as I struggled to bring my heart rate down to a more normal pace. His cheeks were pink but he was smiling that cat shit grin again. “Good morning Marley.” He was perky. Way too perky. I glared at him angrily as he sat perched on my couch. The urge to kick his shin came back and if I had shoes on I would of. His saving grace was my bare feet. “Can I ask what the hell you are doing in my house?” I tapped my foot impatiently, trying not to focus on the fact that I was wearing only a towel. “Well…” he said standing up, “Harry mentioned to me when I saw him at the diner that today was your day off. I wanted to hang out with you.” He finished with a shrug like it was the simplest answer ever. I studied him and noticed as his gaze dropped to my mouth. With that tiniest of movements I was suddenly so much hotter. The temperature raised a whole ten degrees. “Yeah I guess so.” I nodded and started backing up. “I brought you coffee, and breakfast.” He said as he motioned towards the counter top. A styrofoam cup sat next to a brown paper bag and a single daisy. “Thank you… I’ll be right back.” I felt little bits of my stone wall chipping away and my breathing picked up in panic. I couldn’t let this happen. Why was this happening?

             
I rushed into my bedroom, locking the door behind me and dropping the towels to the floor. My hair spilled down in wet curls as I slipped on a bra and panties and dove into my closet, grabbing the first thing I touched, a maroon sun dress that had ruffled sleeves that slid off my shoulders. “Whatever.” I muttered as I slid it over my head and slipped my boots onto my feet. I took a breath before walking out, shaking myself as my pep talk then walked back out to the kitchen where Cole was waiting. Today he wore a white snug t-shirt, a pair of well-worn blue jeans and a pair of faded boots and he looked damn delicious. I cleared my throat as I came in, causing him to look at me. A smile lit up his whole face, causing his blue eyes to twinkle, yes twinkle. “You look b-beautiful.” He stuttered. I felt my face grow warm as I nodded. “Thanks.” He jumped and grabbed the bag and the flower, shoving them into my hands. His enthusiasm and excitement was adorable and again reminded me of the innocence I had witnessed the last few days. “I got these for you. I seen the daisy and it reminded me of you.” I held it up to my nose, not admitting that daisies were actually my favorite flower. “Why do you think that?” I asked as I set the daisy back onto the counter and opened the bag to reveal a fluffy chocolate croissant, another favorite. “Well…to start with they are simplistically beautiful. They don’t need a lot of bells and whistles to be described as beautiful. And it doesn’t matter where they are, they will grow and flourish.” I stared at him, desperately trying to see in that head of his. “How old are you?” I asked curiously. He shrugged, “twenty three. Why, how old are you?” That teasing smile was back and dammit if that urge to lick those dimples wasn’t still there, “nineteen.” I nearly bit my tongue when I gave him the honest answer. When I first moved here I stuck with twenty one so there would be no reason for me to be carded. “Did you go to college?” Now that I had started asking, it felt almost as if I opened a set of flood gates. There was no stop to my curiosity. I nibbled on my croissant as I waited. If it was possible Cole’s smile grew larger, “Yes. I was a philosophical major.” I nearly spit my breakfast on the floor. “Of course you were. Well we should get going. We have a long day Hercules.” I picked up the coffee and took a sip. I knew I shouldn’t have been by this point but my coffee was the perfect flavor, the perfect mix of coffee and cream. “Are you stalking me?” I questioned. So far this morning he knew my favorite flower, how I took my coffee and one of my favorite breakfasts. He let out a hearty laugh, one from his belly that echoed off my paper thin walls. “No Marley Masters. I’m not stalking you. I’m just an observant man. I paid attention when you were making your coffee. When we were ready to order the other night, I noticed how your finger lingered next to the pastry section and on our way to the train you stopped and smelled every daisy we passed. It was the most relaxed I’ve seen you thus far.” He reached forward and tucked a strand of hair behind my ear, his thumb softly trailing down my cheek and resting at my chin. “Whatever you’re running from Marley, it can’t be as bad as you think.” Without a word I pulled away and walked out the door, fighting to hold back the tears that were threatening to spill over onto my cheeks.

             
I walked to my car and ripped open my door. I pausing, trying desperately to calm down. My anger was fueling my every move. “How dare you.” I growled as I heard him approach. I spun and felt the tears spill over and down my cheeks. “How dare you pretend to know me?” I wanted to scream, yell and jump up and down but all I could manage was a barely steady voice. Cole stood in front of me, his hands tucked into his pockets, a solemn look on his face ready to weather my verbal onslaught. “You have no idea. None! And yet you come in here acting like I need to open up. I was doing fine here until you came along!” Cole watched me his eyes filled unexpectedly with sadness and understanding, not the pity I had expected. “You call barely living, keeping yourself shielded and lying to everyone including yourself getting by?” He asked. His voice was strong and steady as he spoke. “Yes! Yes I do! It was a hell of a lot better than what I grew up with. A hell of a lot better! And in one day you come in and start chipping away at everything I so carefully built!” I could feel the panic pulsing through my veins faster than the blood. I was shaking, trembling all over and darkness was threatening the edges of my vision. I was having a full blown panic attack. “Someone has to Marley. Someone needs to show you that the life you’ve been living isn’t living. It’s just barely surviving. Whatever you are hiding, whatever it is, this town can help you. Whether you think so or not people around here care about you and they notice things like you spending every single night locked in your apartment drowning your sorrows and fears at the bottom of a bottle.” He stepped forward and before I could stop myself my hand flew across his face, stinging my palm. He stopped and I felt everything inside of me come to a stop. His blue eyes studied me carefully. “One day Marley everything you’re working so hard to keep locked away is going to come flooding out. It’s going to drown you if you have no one there to help you float.” His voice was sad and that only made me angrier. My eyes were swimming with tears when I responded, “No. I refuse to sink.” I could barely breathe at this point. Black spots were dancing and swirling in my vision and I kept blinking to push them away. I starting breathing harder but the darkness was winning and I was falling before I could stop it.

             
When I came too I was lying on my couch, my end table pulled up next to me and a glass of water, two Tylenol and a handful of daisies in a vase sat on top with a note folded neatly next to them. I opened the letter and smiled. ‘
I’m sorry. Went out for a bit. I’ll be back to check on you later and will be bringing you dinner as my sincerest apology. –Cole
’ I took the pills in my hand and tossed them into my mouth quickly chasing them with a gulp of water before chugging the whole glass. Would it be so bad to open up a little bit? It wasn’t like I couldn’t share a few details and keep the rest of it held tightly in my grasp.

             
I sat on the couch staring at the bottles waiting on top of my ice box. They called to me, taunted me and promised me release from the feelings and overwhelming emotions I had. In the entire year I had been here I hadn’t once cried but two days with Cole Bradley and my everything was turned upside down and I was left balling like a baby. I chewed my lip fighting the urge to get up and down the whole bottle. I must have sat there for hours because when I looked around the sun was already going down. Finally I ripped off the blanket and walked briskly towards the kitchen, snatching the four bottles from the top of the fridge. I unscrewed the lids off all of them and one by one poured them down the drain. The whole kitchen reeked of alcohol. “I need to get out of here.” I muttered as I snatched my keys off the counter. I didn’t do friends so really I had nowhere to run to, so obviously I went to the place that I would normally go.

             
I pulled into the parking lot of the small liquor store and looked around for Mason’s beat up truck. How many times had I come stumbling in here drunk and belligerent only to have Mason Brady carry my drunk as a skunk ass home. I climbed out and made my way inside. The second the door chimed Mason looked up and rolled his eyes. “Jesus Marley, it’s a little early don’t you think?” He sounded tired and truthfully I couldn’t blame him. “Oh calm it Mason. I’m not here drunk, to drink, or even to have you haul my stupid ass back home. I just needed to talk.” His puppy dog hazel eyes and mop of brown hair made him seem younger than he was but he sat back on his stool, his eyes wide, expectant and curious. He understood this was a big thing.

             
I sighed and made my way over to the counter. “Cole Bradley.” I said as if that cleared everything up. Mason groaned, “Another one. I don’t get what it is about those Bradley boys but dagum can’t they leave some of the female population to the rest of us mortal men?” I laughed, finally feeling relaxed that I wasn’t the only one that viewed Cole Bradley as an above mortal god. “So what’s bugging you about Cole? Don’t get me wrong, he is a nice guy and I like him a lot but you wouldn’t be the first girl to fall for his charm.” He said it bitterly and I knew he was referring to Emma Jo. For the whole year and some change that I had known him he had been in love with her. “I didn’t say that I fell for his charm. I said that my issue had to do with him. His stupid philosophical try to read me crap is making me very immature.” I grumbled and picked up a lighter absently flicking on the flame.

             
Mason sighed and the door chimed. “Mason Brady.” Her voice was like maple syrup covered in sugar and dipped in chocolate. I hated it already. I turned and watched her model runway walk up to the counter. Her hair was pulled into a tight blonde ponytail, her bright green eyes lined in black and her lips lacquered with pink gloss. Mason’s eyes lit up at the sight of her and I had to fight the urge not to gag on the abundance of perfume she just shoved down my throat. She pinned me with her icy cold stare and looked me up and down like I was something disgusting that she found on the bottom of her shoe. “And you are?” She asked as she extended her manicured hand towards me. “Marley.” I didn’t bother to shake her hand as she looked me over some more. Her eyes landed on my tattoos. “You’re going to regret those.” She said snidely. I shrugged as I leaned on the counter, “Not as much as you are going to regret that nose job.” She rolled her eyes and returned them back to Mason, completely ignoring me. She smiled and trailed her manicured finger down his arm. “I’d like a bottle of wine pretty please. The sweetest one you have.” She requested and I nearly gagged at how pink Mason’s cheeks turned. “Mason. I’ll just catch you later.” I said waving my hand at him. He looked up, his eyes wide and confused. “Nothing for you tonight?” He questioned and I stilled biting my bottom lip. “No. Nothing. I’m finished with this stuff.” He nodded, his mouth hanging open just the slightest bit as I made my way out of the store. I needed to get away from temptation. Although leaving the store took me away from one temptation and thrust me right into the arms of another.