Beautiful Disaster (A Pirate Romance book, Historical Romance) (5 page)

Chapter 9

“I assure you,” Johnny announced as he placed his full weight against the door once he heard the odd fumbling sound persist, “though you may try, this door will not desist.”

“Johnny?” the voice on the other side asked, slightly puzzled.  It was vaguely familiar, and Johnny had the feeling that he should probably know this female.  “It’s me, Bex.”  Ah.  There it was.  “Care to let me in now?”

“And how am I to know that you are really who you claim to be?” Johnny asked, though his warm chocolate brown eyes sparkled mischievously.  Bex was a very pretty woman, and if he had encountered her back in his time, she would definitely be worth getting to know quite intimately.  However, for whatever reason, upon encountering this new world, his libido had lacked luster, truth be told.  Not that he would ever admit that aloud, of course, but though he saw many women that seemed to favor in substantially less clothing than he was used to, he didn’t have the necessary desire for any of them to actually follow through should he (or they) propose an offer. 

When Johnny realized this added predicament, he spent time wondering if waning sexuality was Willow’s doing, and concluded that it most probably was, just to spite him.  So while Bex was definitely a beauty in her own right, Johnny harbored no such feelings to take their forming relationship to the next level.  Instead, he liked teasing her as much as she liked teasing him.  It would seem the two reveled in giving each other hard times and whatnot.

“Let’s see,” Bex replied dryly, “if you look at the door, there’s this little hole that resembles a window.  If you look through it, you will see it’s me.”

Johnny turned, though his weight was maintained against the barricade, and peered through the peephole with his right eye.  There she stood, in another pink number, her hands resting impatiently on her hips and her eyes glaring at the door expectantly.  His lips curled up in amusement, deciding to push her just a little further.  “Though you resemble the woman I know as Bex,” Johnny continued, “how am I to know it is really her?”

“Johnny Clover Straight-Teeth, if you do not open this door right now, I will cut off a certain
appendage
of yours and give it back to you in
pieces
,” Bex said through gritted teeth.

Johnny pressed his lips together to contain his chuckles, but finally relented.  Somewhere in the back of his mind, a worried voice wondered if her threat was actually viable.  “Ah!” he exclaimed, deciding not to think on that just yet.  “You
are
Bex.”  With that, he pushed off the door and allowed the young woman to open it.

“Har har,” she muttered.

Once inside, she closed and locked the door before dropping to her knees and looking at the boxes to make sure each one was marked with the appropriate title Bex had anointed Zach.  Johnny placed his hands on his knees, leaning forward slightly to see what she was doing.  “May I inquire as to what you are doing?” he asked her, arching a brow as she met his eyes.

“You know,” Bex said, pursing her lips a bit.  “For a pirate, you sure do speak well.”

“I take that as a compliment,” Johnny said, grinning at her charmingly.  “However, it has not slipped my notice that you have not yet answered my question.”

Bex tried to keep her face straight and blank, but the way Johnny was speaking caused her lips to curl up.  However, this was not due to amusement (though he did amuse her), but due to the charm that had laced itself in his low voice and even she could not resist all of it.  She wondered how Izzy was doing such a good job of it.  “Ever perceptive, are we?” she mocked in the same accent, before throwing her gaze down at the boxes.  “What I am doing is to make sure Zach knows how Izzy and I feel about him.”

Johnny’s eyes skimmed over a particular box with the word
ASSHOLE
in all capital letters.  Underneath, there was an attempted sketch of stick figures that showed Bex doing exactly as she had threatened Johnny she would do to him.  Cutting off this man’s – Johnny pulled on the neckline of the wife beater as his face contorted into a wince.  Yes, the drawing was crude, but it got the point across, didn’t it?  “Does Izzy know you labeled them as such?” he asked her, throwing his arms at the boxes and trying to push the horrible picture from his mind.

Bex’s eyes softened and a matching smile touched her lips.  “Izzy would never say anything like that to someone if she could help it,” she said, glancing over at Johnny.  “She’s really one of the sweetest girls you’ll ever meet.  Maybe a tad cynical, but sweet nonetheless.  When she and Zach got together, everybody thought they made the cutest couple.  I mean, they looked good together in pictures, they loved going to the movies and the beach, and they loved learning.  To be honest, I never thought Zach would do anything like this to her.”

“Yes, well even the prettiest picture isn’t ever perfect,” Johnny said, sitting down next to her.  “They were together three years?”

“Yup,” Bex said, nodding.  “Three years.  Izzy had never been with a guy for three years until Zach.”

This struck Johnny as odd.  “Why?” he asked.

Bex shrugged, her brow rising as she stared in front of her.  “I think that she doesn’t necessarily believe in a lasting relationship,” she replied.  “I mean, her parents got divorced when she was young, and she never really had a male role model that encouraged her, reassured her, the usual Dad stuff.  I think that she wants to believe that it’s out there for her because she really is a hopeless romantic, but she hasn’t found that… special someone that she trusts enough to just… let go with.  And even though she loved Zach and wanted him to be that guy, he really wasn’t, and she knew that.”  She sighed, and for a moment, the two sat in a long silence, both processing what Bex said.  “What about you, pirate boy?” she asked, throwing him a sidelong glance.  “Do you have someone waiting for you back home?”

“Absolutely not,” Johnny said, actually offended at such a notion.  Bex couldn’t seem to contain her laughter at his facial reaction, and threw her head back to laugh aloud.  “And what do you find so funny about this?”

“Nothing, it’s just” - she said, trying to contain her amused reaction before finally getting control over herself.  “Nothing, I guess I should have expected it, that’s all.”  She tilted her head as she met her eyes, and pulled her knees close to her chest.  “May I ask why?”

“I don’t like being tied down,” Johnny said, slightly uncomfortable with this line of questioning.  “I do not want to involve myself in a relationship when everybody knows it will turn into a farce with webs of lies scattered about.  I know I could never be loyal to a woman – the world has too many to offer to pick just one for the rest of your life.”  He paused and thought for a moment.  “Look at Izzy, for instance,” he continued.  “She’s probably hurt by this whole break-up nonsense.  Don’t you think it would have been wiser for her to not have entered into the relationship in the first place?”

Bex immediately shook her head.  “No,” she replied.  “I think that with every relationship, you can learn something new about yourself.  I believe that everyone placed in your life is purposefully supposed to be there, to teach you something.”

“Lessons aren’t worth learning if the lesson itself was a lie,” Johnny mumbled.

“You must have been hurt,” Bex observed in a quiet voice.  Finally, she raised her dark eyes to meet Johnny’s.  “And if you found the right woman?”

“I don’t think there is such a thing,” Johnny told her.

“Cut the crap for a second,” she interjected, getting slightly frustrated.  “If you found her, somebody who made you fall in love, who would be worth giving up everything for, who you would choose to be loyal for, would you engage in a monogamous relationship?”

Johnny thought about it for a long moment before finally shaking his head.  “Probably not,” he replied.  “Even if I did find the nonsensical right woman, it would be guaranteed that one of us - although, more likely, it would be both of us - would get hurt, and because of this concept of love attached to each of us, the pain would only be greater.”

Bex sighed dejectedly before a sad smile eclipsed her face.  “I feel sorry for you,” she told him.

“I feel sorry for you,” Johnny said, troubled by her pity.  “For anyone who believes in happy endings and romance and love.”

“Yeah, well, the thing is,” Bex said, standing up, “at least those of us who try to have a relationship have a better percentage of finding true love, true happiness, finding someone to grow old with.  But for you, it’s a guarantee that you’ll die alone.”  She paused for a minute, letting her words sink in, if
they
could
sink in.  “Now, come on.  Help me move these boxes on the front patio.  I really don’t want to deal with that asshole.”

It took Johnny a moment to comprehend and then fulfill her request, only because he was quite startled at her blunt but true statement concerning his guaranteed death.   

Chapter 10

Izzy walked through the door to find Johnny and Bex arguing once again about something or other.  It was becoming quite common to find the two fighting about whatever, and Izzy was becoming quite accustomed to ignoring the two.  In fact, there were times when Izzy would play devil’s advocate, which would just push their annoyance, amusing the young woman to no end.  Luckily for her, her professor didn’t give them any homework, seeing how it was their first day back. 

Her eyes scanned the apartment, and a sigh of relief escaped her lips when she realized the boxes belonging to her ex-boyfriend – she refused to think his name - had disappeared.  She didn’t want anything of his to litter her apartment anymore.  Speaking of which, she needed to get Johnny new clothes.  Despite the fact that he looked good in the ones he was wearing, she wanted him to have his own sense of style.  He had one when he was back in the eighteenth century; no need to change that now.

“Well, well, well,” Johnny said, mid-argument, leaving a disgruntled Bex flustered in the kitchen so he could stand in front of Izzy.  “So she returns.  Pray tell, where have you been exactly, darling, and why would you leave me with
her
?”

Izzy pressed her lips together, trying to contain a very amused grin, but failing miserably.  “I was at school,” she explained as she bustled into her room to drop off her book bag in favor of a small purse.

Johnny was just on her heels, following her into the bedroom.  “School?” Johnny asked in disbelief, completely forgetting his minor fight with the redheaded woman, still fuming in the kitchen.  “Aren’t you too old to be going to school?”

Izzy glanced over her shoulder, giving him a grin, as she removed all of her necessities from her book bag and into her purse.  Instead of taking offense, her amusement deepened, and when she finished, she turned around.  “Actually, you’d be surprised,” she told him.  “College… university… whatever you want to call it, is quite common to attend, and before you say anything about me being a woman, it is more likely for women to attend college than men.”

“What are you learning, exactly?” Johnny asked, his fingers touching his lips.  “How smart are you?  The women I come in contact with” -

“No, there’s no sex class,” Izzy said, contorting a face of disgust. 

“But you’re educated in the subject, aren’t you?” he teased, his dark eyes lighting mischievously.

“Oh, shut up,” she retorted, her cheeks turning a light shade of red.  “Now, come on.  I’m going to try and get you a job tonight, but I can’t exactly introduce you to my boss when you look like…”  She glanced at him and made a face.  “We need to get you new clothes.  I have some money I’ve been saving up, so I can lend you some money to get you three or four outfits.  You can always pay me back later.”

Johnny placed his hands on his hips and rocked back and forth on the heels and balls of his feet.  “You trust me that much?” he asked her, not sure what to make of her offer.

“Should I not?” she asked, turning around to look at him.  He didn’t say anything, really, just gave her an unreadable expression, so Izzy turned and headed out the door.  “Bex,” she called before heading into the kitchen.  “I’m taking Johnny to South Coast to get him some clothes.  Do you wanna come?”  Her brow perked as she regarded her friend patiently.

“Absolutely,” Bex said as a dangerous smile slid onto her face, and her dark eyes narrowed resolutely.  “I want to take pictures.”

--

Izzy drove everybody to the South Coast Plaza mall, ordering Johnny in the front seat of the car and Bex in the back.  If anybody opened their mouth to fight, Izzy would just turn the radio up louder.  Luckily the two were smart enough to get Izzy’s point, and the drive was mostly silent (save for the radio, of course) and tense.  It took about fifteen minutes to reach the mall, and unsurprisingly, the parking lot was nearly full.

“Where should we take him?” Izzy asked Bex, once the three exited the car.

“Sears, JC Penny,” Bex said, shrugging. 

“Ladies, might I interject,” Johnny began, coming over to stand between the young women.  “But what, exactly, is this place and why are we here?”

“Okay,” Izzy began, already preparing her answer.  “You know how in Port Royal there’s a down town section with numerous shops that sell different products?”  Johnny thought about this and nodded slowly for a moment.  “Right, well this is like that except it’s much more condensed.”

“And much more expensive,” Bex put in with a roll of her eyes.  “Oh, you know what?” she asked a bit more seriously.  “We should probably warn him…”  She looked over at Johnny.  “Now, I don’t want to inflate your ego or anything, but you kind of look like the guy from the movie you watched.  His name happens to be Johnny Depp.  People may actually come up to you, girls may throw themselves at you, but you need to remember that you are not that man, so just say no to everything.”

With that, the two led Johnny into the mall.  What a sight it was for the pirate captain.  An assortment of different people in different clothing littered different places of this ‘mall,’ talking and laughing, buying and returning.  There were a bunch of different shops, serving food, clothing, and home décor.  As Johnny followed the two women, he couldn’t take in everything fast enough.  His mouth was hanging slightly open, and his dark eyes were shifting left, right, left, right…  He was so consumed in everything that was going on around him that he didn’t notice people gaping at him slightly, whispering amongst themselves, while some actually pointed at him.  Bex actually snapped at one woman, saying that this guy was most definitely
not
Johnny Depp because Johnny Depp was much hotter.  Duh.

“Okay,” Izzy said, once they entered Sears and made their way to the men’s department.  “Me and Bex are going to help you get some clothes.  Just tell us what you like, okay?  And I think it would also be best if you got one nice suit or something.  You never know when – if – you’re going to need it, and it’s always good to be prepared.”

For the next two hours, the three entered the men’s department and began picking up t-shirts, jeans, underwear, socks, undershirts, everything they could get their hands on.  They made at least six trips to the changing rooms, where Bex made sure to take multiple pictures of Johnny when he was least expecting it.  When Johnny actually caught the redhead, Izzy had to explain what a camera was.  Johnny was so fascinated by the technological device that he wasn’t upset.  When Bex showed him the pictures she had taken with her digital camera, Johnny smirked.

“I do look pretty good, don’t I?” he asked.

“Come on,” Izzy said with a roll of her eyes.  “Let’s get you a nice suit, hmm?”

It took the trio another half an hour until Johnny was adorned with a nice suit.  The pants he was wearing were a very dark grey and a silk royal blue shirt encompassed his torso quite nicely.  Even Bex had to admit that the guy could definitely wear a suit.  However, Johnny himself was quite frustrated with the buttons he was currently trying to button with his long fingers.  It would seem that the little buggers didn’t want to slip through their designated holes and just…
stick
!  It was now that he missed the clothes he was accustomed to back in the eighteenth century.  Could this be the message Willow was trying to teach him?  Don’t take your clothing for granted?

However, his thoughts and frustrations suddenly disappeared when Izzy walked over to him and began to button the silk shirt up.  Johnny took this time to study her without worrying about getting caught and then reprimanded by her.  Her calm brown eyes were focused on him, and he could tell she was trying to keep her fingertips from accidentally grazing his bare chest.  Normally, he would have made a witty innuendo, but he couldn’t seem to open his mouth to speak.  His eyes were locked onto her face, tracing every curve, every inch of her with his mind.  She was naturally beautiful, and did not need the aide of powder, rogue, or coal like many of the prostitutes he had known.  Her lips were full, and he noticed the edges of her teeth graze her bottom lip, indicating that she was deep in thought.  Her small, upturned nose was centered, splashes of freckles caressing the tips of her cheeks and the bridge of her nose.  He wanted to kiss her, if nothing else.

A flash distracted both of them, and they turned, both gazing at Bex standing there, looking at her camera with an unreadable expression on her pretty face.