Beautiful Chaos (46 page)

I didn’t eat as much as usual. I felt too guilty. All I could think about was Liv, sitting alone in the Tunnels on Thanksgiving. Whether it was a holiday to her or not.

I know.

Lena was standing in the kitchen doorway, staring at me.

L. It’s not what you think.

Lena walked over to the counter, where the leftovers were piled up. “What I think is that you should pack up some of Amma’s pie and take it down to the Tunnels.”

“Why would you want me to do that?”

Lena looked embarrassed. “I didn’t understand how she felt until the night Ridley Cast the
Furor.
I know what it’s like not to have friends. It must be worse to have them and lose them.”

“Are you saying you want me to be friends with Liv?” I didn’t buy it.

She shook her head. I could see how hard this was for her. “No. What I’m saying is I trust you.”

“Is this one of those tests guys don’t understand and always fail?”

She smiled, covering the leftover pecan pie with tinfoil. “Not today.”

Lena and I hadn’t even opened the front door when Amma caught us. “Where do you think you’re goin’?”

“We’re going to Ravenwood. I’m going to take Liv some of your pecan pie.”

Amma tried to give me the Look, but somehow it was just a
look to me. “What you mean is you’re goin’ down into those Tunnels.”

“Only to see Liv, I promise.”

Amma rubbed her gold charm. “Straight there and back. I don’t want to hear about any Casts or fires, Vexes or any other Demons. Not a one. You hear me?”

I always heard her, even when she wasn’t talking.

Lena lifted the Outer Door cut into the floorboards in Ridley’s room. I still couldn’t believe she was letting me go down alone. But, then again, if you could sense it when your boyfriend was thinking about kissing another girl, it wasn’t that big a leap.

Lena handed me the pie. “I’ll be in here when you’re finished. I’ve been meaning to look around.” I wondered if she had been in here since the night we found John. I knew Lena was worried about Ridley, especially now that she was powerless.

“I won’t be long.” I kissed her and stepped down onto the stairs I couldn’t see.

I heard their voices before I saw their faces.

“I’m not sure this is a proper Southern Thanksgiving, since I’ve never had Thanksgiving dinner anywhere. But it’s quite posh, what with the frozen dinner and all.” Liv. She sounded suspiciously happy.

I didn’t have to hear the next voice to know who it was.

“You’re in luck. I’ve never had one either. Abraham and Silas weren’t big on holidays. Then there’s the whole not-needing-to-eat thing. So I have nothing to compare it to.”

John.

“What, no Halloween? No Christmas? No Boxing Day?” Liv was laughing, but I could tell it was a real question.

“None of the above.”

“That’s a bit grim. I’m sorry.”

“It’s no big deal.”

“So this is our first Thanksgiving, then.” I heard her laugh.

“Together,” he added. The way he said it made me feel sick, like I had eaten too many pieces of pie and then gone back for a turkey and stuffing sandwich.

I stuck my head around the corner. Sure enough, John and Liv were leaning over the table in the study Macon had set up for her. It was set with two candles and one TV dinner in a lopsided aluminum tray. Turkey. I felt terrible, especially after the dinner Amma made.

Liv was holding what had to be John’s lighter, trying to light the candles on the table between them.

“Your hand is shaking.”

“No, it’s not.” She looked down at her hand. “Well. It is a bit drafty down here.”

“Do I make you nervous?” John smiled. “It’s okay. I won’t hold it against you.”

“Nervous? Please.” Liv’s cheeks turned a familiar shade of pink. “I’m not afraid of you, if that’s what you think.” They stared at each other for a second.

“Ouch!” Liv dropped the lighter, shaking her hand. She must have burned her finger.

“Are you okay? Let me see.” John grabbed her hand, opening it so he could see her fingers. He put his hand on top of Liv’s, his huge palm covering her small one.

Liv bit her lip. “I think I need to run it under cold water.”

“Hold on.”

“What—” Liv stared down at their hands. John moved his, and Liv lifted hers, wiggling her fingers. “It doesn’t hurt anymore. It’s not even red. How did you do that?”

John looked embarrassed. “Like I said, if I touch a Caster, I get some of their power. I don’t steal it or anything. It just happens.”

“You’re a Thaumaturge. A healer. Like Lena’s cousin Ryan. You didn’t—”

“Don’t worry, it wasn’t her. Picked it up from a girl I bumped into.” I couldn’t tell if he was being sarcastic or not.

Relief flooded Liv’s face. “It’s remarkable. You do know that, don’t you?” She examined her finger again.

“I don’t know anything. Except that I’m a freak of nature.”

“I’m not so sure nature had much to do with it, since there isn’t another person like you in the entire universe, as far as I know. But you are special.” She said so it matter-of-factly, I almost would’ve believed it. If she wasn’t talking to John Breed.

“I’m so special, no one wants me around.” He laughed, but it sounded bitter. “So special, I do stuff I can’t even remember.”

“Back home we call that a pub crawl.”

“I’ve lost whole weeks, Olivia.” I hated the way he said her name.

O-li-vi-a.
Like he wanted to stretch out every syllable and take as long as he could.

“Does it happen all the time?” Now Liv sounded curious, but it seemed like it was more than the wheels in her scientific mind turning. Because she also sounded sad.

He nodded. “Except when I was in the Arclight. Nothing to remember in there.”

I cleared my throat and stepped into the room. “Yeah? Then maybe we should stick you back in that thing.” They were startled. I could tell, because John’s face went dark, and the guy who had been talking to Liv disappeared.

“Ethan. What are you doing here?” Liv looked flustered.

“I brought you some of Amma’s famous pecan pie. We missed you at dinner. I didn’t mean to interrupt.” Except I did.

Liv tossed her napkin down on the table. “Don’t be ridiculous. You’re not interrupting anything. We were just sitting down to a supper of somewhat questionable hen parts.”

“Hey. That’s our first Thanksgiving you’re talking about, sweetheart.” John grinned at her—and stared at me.

I ignored him. “Liv, do you think you can help me with something for a minute?”

She pushed her chair away from the table. “Lead on, Wayward.”

I could feel John’s eyes on me as we left the room.

Sweetheart.

I grabbed Liv by the arm as soon as we were out of Incubus earshot. “What are you doing?”

“Trying to eat my Thanksgiving dinner.” Her cheeks went pink, but she didn’t slow down.

“I meant, what are you doing
with him
?”

She pulled her arm free. “Are you looking for something in particular? Was there a reason you needed me?” We had made our way to the
Lunae Libri
and disappeared into the stacks, and I watched the torches light along the wall, marking the way we had come. She took one from the wall.

“Last I heard, he doesn’t eat anything but Doritos.”

“He doesn’t. He was keeping me company. Being… a friend.”

I stepped in front of her, and she stopped walking. “Liv. He’s not your friend.”

She was annoyed. “Then what is he? If you’re such an expert?”

“I don’t know what he is or what he’s doing, but I know he’s not your friend.”

“What do you care?”

“Liv, you could’ve come over today. You were invited. Macon and Marian were there. They wanted you to come.”

“That’s quite an invitation. I can’t imagine how I missed it.”

I knew her feelings were hurt, but I didn’t know how to fix it. I should’ve invited her myself. “I mean, we all wanted you to come.”

“I’m sure you did. Just as I’m sure I still have the bruises to show from the last time I saw Lena.”

“The
Furor
was a spell. And believe me, you gave as good as you got.”

She softened. “I know I could have come to your house today. But I didn’t belong there. I don’t belong anywhere. And, I suppose, neither does John. Maybe Mortals and Incubuses aren’t so different after all.”

“You do belong, Liv. And you don’t have to stay down here with him. You’re not a monster.”

Like he is.

Ethan? Is everything okay?

Lena was reaching out to me.

Yeah, L. Be there in a minute.

No rush.

It was Lena’s way of saying she didn’t mind me talking to Liv,
whether or not I would ever get Liv to believe that. I wasn’t sure I believed it myself.

Liv was staring at me. “What are you doing here, really? Because I’m fairly certain you aren’t concerned about my social life.”

“You’re wrong.” I was still holding the pie tin.

She took it, opening the foil and breaking off a piece of pie. “Delicious. So there is nothing new I should know about?” She broke off another corner. Amma’s pie was a good distraction.

“What do you know about the Wheel of Fate?”

She looked surprised. “Funny you should ask.” And just like that, the subject of Liv’s personal life was closed, and we returned to her favorite subject—anything else.

“Why?”

“I’ve been thinking about it ever since we found the
Temporis Porta.
” Liv pulled out her red notebook and opened it to a page in the middle. There was a sketch of three perfectly formed circles, each divided by spokes set in varying patterns. “This was all I could remember from the door.”

“That looks right. You said it was some kind of code?”

She nodded. “I’m not certain, because you opened the door without using them. But I’ve been researching the symbol in Macon’s library.”

“And?”

She pointed at the drawing. “The repeated circle. I think it has something to do with what you’re calling the Wheel of Fate.”

“And the
Temporis Porta
?”

“I think so. But there’s one thing I can’t understand.”

“What is it?” Something Liv didn’t understand was a bad sign.

“The door opened by itself. You didn’t even touch any of the circles. I wouldn’t have believed it if I hadn’t seen it with my own eyes.”

I remembered the rough feel of the rowan wood beneath my forehead.

“And I couldn’t go through it at all.”

“But you said you didn’t understand why.” I wasn’t sure where she was going with this.

“Whatever the Wheel of Fate is, I think it has something to do with you, not me.”

I let her believe it, but I knew better. I could still hear Amma’s voice, echoing in my head.

The Wheel of Fate crushes us all.

12.06