Bear, Otter, & the Kid 03 - The Art of Breathing (21 page)

“I can tell,” she says. “But back to you and Ty. Why
is
it that you haven’t kept in touch? Obviously it doesn’t have to do with his rampant homosexuality, because you seem to be of the tolerant sort.”

“Rampant homosexuality?” I ask her. “What does that even mean?”

“It means,” she explains, “that some might see me as a boy in a dress, but you still take the rainbow cake any day of the week.” She lowers her voice and whispers conspiratorially to Dominic, “He’s so gay even his cock is crooked.”

“Kori!” I shout.

“What? It is! That’s why I call you Captain Wicked Hook.”

That’s an outrageous lie! Well, sort of. It
does
bend. A little. Don’t look at me that way. “I
will
murder you,” I promise her.

But of course, she ignores me completely. “And why
wouldn’t
I be the one to know? You
did
have it pressed against me. On multiple occasions. Oh, the shenanigans we seem to find ourselves in!” Her eyes go mockingly wide, her voice fluttering. “Oh! Not that we were actually drinking, officer. Tyson
is
underage, after all. Did I say wine coolers? I meant orange juice.” It had actually been wine coolers, and I stopped at two when I realized that while drunk, I tend to laugh in such a way that it makes it sound as if I’m a pair of mating kangaroos. It’s not a pretty sound, more of a guttural
OOOAAHH OOOAAHH.
Go ahead. Google it if you must.

See? It’s pretty bad when you sound like kangaroos making sexy time. I’ve decided to live a life of sobriety so I don’t end up as a marital aid to get kangaroos in the mood at the San Diego Zoo.

Dominic tightens his hands around the steering wheel so much his knuckles turn white.

“So?” Kori asks. “You and Tyson? No? Anything? Well, shucks! I guess I’ll never really know your side. To hear Tyson tell it, you look like the villain indeed.”

The police car stops. I look out the window, thankful for the distraction. Until I see we’re parked in front of the Green Monstrosity. As if he was waiting for us, Bear opens the front door and glares at us, his arms crossed. Otter appears behind him and says something in his ear, but Bear shakes his head angrily.

“You called Bear?” I ask Dominic. “Are you out of your fucking
mind
? You know what he’s going to do to me!”

“He’ll never stop murdering you, that’s for sure,” Kori says.

Dominic doesn’t answer me. Instead, he exits the car and shuts the door behind him. He comes to the back and opens the rear door. “Out,” he says.

Kori glances back at me, but slides out of the car. Dominic turns her around and releases the cuffs. She rubs her wrists as she turns and smiles up at Dominic. “Why, thank you,” she says. “I’ve always wanted to be handcuffed by a big, strong man. I’m so happy you were able to help me with my kink. Do you ever ride the police motorcycle? And if so, a follow-up query: do you happen to have the motorcycle boots? That might just be another fantasy of mine. Especially if they go all the way up to the knees. Maybe you could pull me over sometime?”

This is not how I pictured my day ending. At all.

I move to slide out of the car, but Dominic blocks my way. “Not you,” he says, his voice a growl. I try to ignore the shivers that run down my spine. “You stay in there.”

“They won’t be pressing charges?” I hear Bear ask. He’s standing at the front gate Dominic turns and shakes his head. “No. I talked them down. It wasn’t Tyson who threw the rock through the window. I told them he wouldn’t mind footing the bill for it, though, and to send it to me once it got done and I’d make sure they got reimbursed. The owner and I go back, so he’s fine. As long as Tyson knows he is not allowed in BJ’s.”

“Like I would ever go back there,” I say indignantly. “Do you know what they do to procure the meat they serve? It’s an affront to all—”

“Kid, if you value your life, you should give serious consideration to keeping your mouth shut,” Bear says through gritted teeth. He pushes through the gate, and Otter rolls his eyes behind him.

“I’m nineteen years old! You can’t—”

“Most nineteen-year-olds don’t get themselves arrested,” he retorts.

“It was the
beach
hippies!”

“Beach hippies?” Otter asks, sounding interested. “Where did you meet beach hippies?”

“You’re not helping,” Bear tells him.

“It’s not every day you get to meet beach hippies,” Otter says. He looks sorely disappointed that they aren’t in the car with me.

“We got them on the Internet, where else?” Kori says. “Today’s beach hippies are very modern, you know.”

“I demand to speak to my lawyer!” I shout above them. “Get me Anna Thompson on the phone! I know my rights! I am an American citizen!”

“It’s good to know the volume hasn’t changed,” Dominic says to Bear and Otter.

“The
volume
? Why, I’m going to—”

“Screech like an angry diva?” Kori asks. “Good job. You’re already doing it.”

“When I get my hands on you, I’m—”

“Such threats!” Kori exclaims. “It seems as if the life of crime has changed you completely.”

“You going to let him out?” Bear says over my ranting. “I think he’s got the point. Kind of.”

Dominic shakes his head. “No. I’ve got some things to say to him. I don’t think there’s a better time than when he’s handcuffed and can’t go anywhere.”

Everyone goes quiet.

I see Bear stiffen even as my heart thuds in my chest. His gaze darts over to me then back at Dominic. Something flickers across his face that I can’t quite make out. Fear? Anger? I don’t know. I think he’s going to refuse to let me go, and even though I’m nineteen and perfectly capable of answering for myself, a part of me wants him to. To tell me to get out of the car. To make Dominic uncuff me so I can go hide behind my big brother, because, really, I’m just a little guy. I’m just a little guy who is not quite right in the head, no matter how much I try to convince myself otherwise.

Bear shrugs off Otter’s arm and walks until he stands in front of Dominic, who has a good six inches and a hundred pounds on him. But Bear has a bug up his ass, and not even the size of the cop in front of him is going to stop him. I feel a moment of fierce pride that comes out of nowhere and almost knocks my breath from my chest. I’m still royally pissed off at him (which is really a lie, because I’m mad at myself more than anyone else—well, myself and the beach hippies), and would rather be anywhere than here. But I can’t take my eyes off him as he glares up at Dominic, and I have to stop myself from shouting “Kick his ass!” I don’t think that would help the situation very much, and I think it’s technically illegal to threaten a cop.

I glance at Otter to see if he’s going to try to stop Bear, but Otter’s just watching my brother with that look of exasperated love on his face that he does so well. He knows as well as I do that Bear’s going to say what Bear’s going to say, and nobody can tell him otherwise.

Which probably means Bear is going to make it a billion times worse and embarrass the crap out of me.

“Now you listen to me,” Bear says in a low voice, his eyes flashing. “You haven’t been around for the past four years and—”

“That wasn’t my choice,” Dominic says quietly.

“I didn’t say it was. Don’t interrupt me again. We clear?”

Dominic nods. His jaw twitches.

“You haven’t been here, Dom. I know that’s not your fault. I’m not blaming you for anything. But things are different now. We make the choices we do to protect those we love. You, of all people, should know this. The Kid might be a pain in my ass, and he might not think things through all the time…”

“Gee,” I mutter. “I wonder where I got
that
from.”

“… but he
is
my brother and he belongs to me. I’ve raised him. I’ve cared for him. I’ve held him when the panic attacks became so fucking strong he couldn’t breathe. He’s stronger than anyone else I know, but he can still break, and if you’re the one to break him, then may God save you from me. You’re still a member of this family, and I love you, but if you hurt him, Dominic, I will end you.”

“I’ve never wanted to hurt him. All I’ve ever wanted—”

“Doesn’t matter now,” Bear interrupts. “You can have your say, whatever it is, and I won’t stop you. But panic disorder is a very real thing, and the panic attacks can be extraordinarily harmful. Do not do anything to set that off, you get me?”

Dominic watches Bear, and I think there’s a very real possibility that Dominic is going to reach down for his Taser and shoot Bear in the face. That would be a perfect end to this already magnificent day.

“I get you,” he finally says.

Bear’s eyes soften, but only just. “Do you need us to pick up Ben? It has to be close to the end of your shift.”

Ben?

Dominic shakes his head. “He needs his routine, you know? Can you call Anna? He knows her. She’s on the emergency contact list, and it’ll be easier.”

“Sure. It’s fine. I can have her bring him here. Just remember what I said, okay?”

“You’re wrong, though,” Dominic says.

Oh, shit.

Even Otter’s eyes widen.

“About what?” Bear asks, his voice going dangerously low.

“About Tyson belonging just to you,” Dominic says. “You know as well as I do that from the first moment I laid eyes on him, he belonged to me too. Maybe even more than you. The moment he followed that ant outside, he was mine.”

Uh. What?

“Now might be a good time for you to leave,” Otter says, stepping around Bear, who is beginning to do his best impression of turning his face into a tomato. Otter whispers something in Bear’s ear, and Bear snarls at him at first, but then deflates. He looks over at me, and that same indiscernible look from before flits across his face.

“All you need to do,” Bear says, sounding defeated, “is remember to just breathe, okay?”

I nod, unsure what just happened. This feels like one of those dreams where you
know
you’re dreaming but can’t do anything to stop it.

Bear lets Otter pull him away. “And take those cuffs off him,” Bear says over his shoulder. He sounds livid. “As much as he deserves them, they’ll only make things worse.” He doesn’t look back.

I’m still watching him disappear into the Green Monstrosity when Dominic moves in front of me. He leans down into the car and pushes me forward. His breath is hot and harsh on the back of my neck. His big hands fumble with the cuffs until the lock releases. Blood rushes into my wrists, and the skin feels like it’s buzzing. I can smell him. Something like October leaves. Maybe like rain. His chin scrapes against my shoulder, and I think,
You are
done
with this. You are
over
this. It has taken you four years, but you’ve beaten it. There is nothing for you here. This place is memories of a time when life sucked but then got okay again. That’s all. You have come home to say good-bye because this is the beginning of the rest of your life.

He pulls back and our gazes lock. He’s no more than a foot away. He’s impossibly big. But it doesn’t matter. It doesn’t. It can’t. It won’t.

He stands and shuts the door. I rub my wrists. They’re a bit sore.

Kori watches me through the window, a worried look on her face. I give her a smile that is supposed to be reassuring. It feels like a lie.

Dominic gets into the front seat of the cruiser. He glances at me in the rearview mirror, but doesn’t speak. He starts the car and we leave everyone behind.

Where Tyson Gets His Ass Handed to Him

O
NCE
,
WHEN
I was eleven, I sat on the bed in my room in the Green Monstrosity, watching my friend Dom as he tried on his graduation gown for the first time. It was a little small on him and stretched tightly across his shoulders, the gown coming up almost to his knees.

“You look ridiculous,” I finally said as he looked at himself in the mirror.

“It’s not the best fit,” he rumbled at me. “And it’s probably too late to get a new one.”

I snorted. “Uh, yeah. You’re graduating
tomorrow
. I
told
you to try it on before now.”

“It doesn’t matter,” he said with a sigh. “I’ll only be wearing it for a little while.”

“Are Patty and Bert going to be there?” I asked, hoping some miracle had occurred and his foster parents had decided to prove they were actually human.

“Don’t think so,” he said. He lifted the gown over his head, and there was a flicker of skin across his stomach as his shirt pulled up that I resolutely ignored. It was not something I cared to see, because this was
Dom
. This was my
friend
, but the skin was tan and looked muscled and I—

“It’s fine,” I said. “We’ll all be there.”

He looked at me with caution in his eyes. “Really?” he asked. I could hear him trying to keep the hope from his voice, but not succeeding in the slightest.

“Well, yeah. Why wouldn’t we?”

He shrugged and looked away. “I don’t know. I knew you’d go, but I didn’t know about everyone else.”

I laughed. “You’re family. Of course everyone’s going.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.”

He smiled that half smile. “Cool.”

I lay back on the bed and stared at the ceiling. “I don’t know why you couldn’t have flunked this year like I told you to. That way when I start high school next year, we’d have been going to the same school.” What I didn’t say was that I was terrified of him starting college in the fall, even if he was only going to be at Seafare Community College. I was sure he’d start there and make new friends and realize how weird it was to hang out with the Kid, who was only a kid. I knew I’d see less and less of him, until one day he wouldn’t show and I’d be left all by myself. I tried to tell myself it wouldn’t be so bad, because things were getting better and better every day, and maybe one day I wouldn’t have to go see Eddie anymore (even if part of the adoption process involved mandatory therapy), and I could be normal. I could be like everyone else, and these weird thoughts, these dark thoughts that crossed my mind every now and then that whispered things like
they always leave
and
one day even Bear will leave you too
would stop crossing my mind.