Bear My Soul (Fire Bears Book 1) (10 page)

“They do?”

Cody nodded solemnly. “Big ones.”

“Tate and Arie, too, right?”

“They have bears just the same size as yours. You won’t have to feel scared of your animal anymore because we’re all going to teach you how to control that part of yourself, okay?”

“Can we go down the slide now?” Aaron asked.

“I think that’s a great idea,” Boone said, scooping Rory up so fast she yelped.

Dade and Gage pulled Cody to his feet and bullied him down the porch stairs. Cody only fought them half-heartedly. He seemed to be laughing too hard to give it any real opposition as Aaron jumped up and down around them, pumping his tiny fists in the air in his signature victory dance.

“Boone, you put me down right now,” Rory protested. “I wasn’t planning on going down the slide.”

“Then why’d you come in that swimsuit? Sorry, Rory. It’s initiation day for the Breck Crew, and this is your moment.” He looked down at her with his laughing blue eyes, so like Cody’s. “Enjoy it,” he whispered as he set her down at the top of the tarp and shoved her.

Cody hit the slide beside her, holding Aaron, giving that booming laugh with the dimples that said he was completely happy in this moment. Rory nearly glowed from the inside out as they picked up speed. Boone and Dade were yelling behind them as they slid down after them, followed by Tate and Arie and the others. A giant pile of werebears on a redneck Slip ’N Slide.

Rory flopped over and stretched out on her stomach, arms out for balance as she picked up enough speed to bottom out her stomach. She giggled breathlessly as Cody and Aaron slid around her, hooting about winning.

“Too slow, Dodson!” Boone called as he passed.

In her defense, these boys probably had a hundred pounds of muscle on her, and their weight was making them much more torpedo-like than she was.

At the bottom, she slid off the edge of the tarp and caught Arie before she could hit the grass. Laughter bubbled up her throat as she chased the Kellers back up the hill to go again. When she paused right before they made it to the top, Aaron bustled past her legs with his cousins.

Rory was soaking wet, covered in soap suds, her hair clung to her face, and her skin was sticky. And she’d never been happier in a single moment than she was right now.

Cody wrapped his arm around her waist and kissed her silly. With a cheek-splitting grin, one that nearly buckled her knees, he whispered, “I like when you look all happy like this.”

His tattoos stood stark against the thin, soaking white T-shirt that still clung to his chest, and his defined pecs rose and fell under his steady breath. She gripped the wet fabric of his shirt and stood on her tiptoes. She left a kiss on his cheek, then wrapped her arms around his neck. He lifted her off her feet and rocked her gently, cupping the back of her head with his hand as if she was precious to him.

“Up on the porch you said I was the best thing to ever happen to you,” she whispered.

“You are.”

Those two words were said so confidently she hugged him even tighter.

Easing back, she cupped his neck and allowed him to see the honesty of her words. “I feel the same about you.”

He searched her face as his dimples faded and his intense eyes softened. “Say it.”

“Say what?” she teased.

“You know what.”

“What if I want you to say it first?”

“I love you,” he said on a breath, void of hesitation. “Always have. I just didn’t have words to describe how deeply I felt about you until last night.”

Against the palm of her hand, his face was smooth. It was invaluable, and she realized, in this moment, that Cody was necessary to her life now. He was a good man, a good father to her son, but more than that, he was everything she wanted. He made her feel complete and confident in herself. Where she’d felt weak and insecure for so long, he made her feel strong.

He was a firefighter, and his job was dangerous, but she would always be there, waiting for him to come home, her arms and heart open for him. It was risky, giving her soul to a man who could be taken from her so easily, but he was worth it. She’d rather have one day with Cody than a lifetime with a man she didn’t burn for.

The words that tumbled from her lips were the easiest she’d ever said. “I love you back.”

Cody had that faraway look again as he sat slumped against one of the posts on the porch. He took a long pull on his bottled water, downing it, then crumpled the plastic before he dropped it beside him and went back to fingering what looked like the paperclip Aaron had given him.

Something had happened that had Cody pulling away slowly throughout the day. The lower the sun sank in the sky, the more withdrawn he became. Rory couldn’t figure it out. She’d asked him three times what was wrong, but he’d plaster on a smile and kiss her. Then he’d murmur it was nothing—he had a lot on his mind.

The afternoon had been perfect, but as time had worn on, he’d withdrawn into himself. Even his brothers were shooting each other worried looks.

Cody drew his knee up to his chest and stared out over his land, his eyes ghosting over where Rory sat beside Leah to Dade’s jacked-up Ford pickup. In the bed, Boone had stacked blankets and draped a tarp over the top when the kids had gone sluggish. All three of the cubs were cuddled up asleep, the tarp protecting them from the late sunlight. A day of sliding, playing chase, eating, and swinging on the old tire out front had worn them out. Dade’s truck played soft country songs as the rest of the Breck Crew sat around talking the hours away.

Rory tried to stay in the conversation, but Cody’s change in mood kept her distracted and on edge.

He ran his hands over his hair, sighed and stood. He approached with a tired smile and pulled her out of the chair, then settled her into his lap. “I have to go somewhere tonight. I want you to stay here with Boone until I get back.”

“What? No, I can just go back to Aunt Leona’s house.”

“I need you here with Boone. I can’t explain why either. I just need you to trust me.”

“You said no more,” Ma said, her voice shaking with something Rory didn’t understand. Fear? Anger? Perhaps both.

“What’s going on?” Rory asked, twisting in his lap until she faced him.

Cody’s hand gripped her thigh, and he brushed her hair off her shoulder. Exposing her neck, he stared at her collar bone and refused to meet her gaze. “I have something I have to do.”

“This is fucked. You know that, right?” Dade asked.

“Yeah, well, this is our life,” Cody said in a low, gravelly voice. “This is
my
life. Sometimes I have to do things we hate. Sometimes you all do, too. It’s what keeps everyone breathing.”

“How long?” Boone asked.

“How long what?”

“How long has he been pressing on you?” His voice cracked like a whip.

A muscle twitched under Cody’s eye as he lifted a feral gaze to his brother. Something at the edge of Rory’s senses thickened the air. Cody hadn’t moved much, but suddenly, her instincts were screaming to get out of the way.

“Look, Cody,” Gage said, hands out in a calming gesture. “At some point, we have to make our stand. This has gone on too long.”

“What the hell is going on?” Rory asked again, louder this time as she scrambled out of Cody’s lap to escape the suffocating feeling that clawed at the back of her throat. “What are you talking about?”

Cody let off a growl that lifted the hairs on her arm. He stood so fast the chair toppled over behind him. Without a word, he took the porch steps two at a time and disappeared inside.

“Why Boone?” Leah asked. “Rory and Aaron can stay with us.”

“Because you already have too much to protect,” Boone said in a defeated voice. His eyes were on the open doorway where Cody had disappeared. “If he fails—”

“He won’t,” Gage snarled.

“You don’t even know what Krueger asked him to do,” Dade said, standing. His eyes were two angry slits as he glared at Gage. “He’s not invincible, big brother. You think he wanted to be alpha? You think he wants to deal with this shit alone? He’s sacrificed enough. This
family
has sacrificed enough.”

“Dade,” Ma whispered as moisture filled her eyes.

“Don’t, Ma. Don’t pretend it doesn’t gut you when you watch one of us forced into a dog fight. I’m going with him.” Dade strode after Cody and slammed the door behind him.

Gage and Boone stood as one, but Ma slashed her hand through the air. “Sit down! Both of you. He’s left you here for a reason. You’ll keep our family safe while he buys us more time. Boone, he’s given you his mate and his son to protect. Sit.”

Rory didn’t understand what was happening. Cody was going into danger. That much was clear. It didn’t feel like a firefight, though. It felt like someone was forcing him to do something he didn’t want to. To buy them time? What did that mean?

“Can you watch Aaron?” she asked Boone.

“Yeah,” he answered, staring at his hands, “but I wouldn’t go in there right now.”

Ignoring him, she ran up the steps and threw the door open. Following the quiet murmurs of the Keller brothers, she found herself in the door frame of Cody’s bedroom, the room they’d shared last night.

Across the bed was a belt with three different sized knives. It looked military, and she gasped as her eyes landed on the camo gun case. Cody was already clad in black cargo pants and a tight T-shirt in the same shadowy color.

“I want to know where you’re going.” Damn her voice as it shook.

Cody cast her a glance over his shoulder as he pulled a black duffle bag from the closet. “I can’t tell you.”

“Why?”

Dade pulled on his own black T-shirt over a large puckered scar on his back. “Because he can’t. He’s not allowed to.”

Rory crossed her arms. They pulled on belts and shoved knives into sheaths as if they’d prepared for battle a hundred times before. Hell, maybe they had.

“Is what you’re doing illegal?”

Cody huffed a humorless sound and shook his head. “The people who give me orders are above the law.”

“Is what you’re doing dangerous?”

Cody pulled the strap of the duffle bag over his chest as Dade pulled the long-range weapon’s case off the bed.

Her mate stepped in front of her and ran his fingers through her hair until his palm cupped her cheek. “Less dangerous than the alternative.”

“Which is?”

Cody shook his head, apology written all over his face. “We’ll be back by morning.” His voice sounded strange, forced, when he said those words.

She gripped his hand, desperate to keep his touch on her cheek. “Why do I get the feeling you’re telling me goodbye, just in case?” And why did she suddenly get the feeling that being a firefighter wasn’t the riskiest part of Cody’s life?

Cody pulled her hand to his lips and kissed her knuckles softly. “I just got you and Aaron back.” Determination lifted his eyebrows as he leveled her with a look. “I’ll come back. Always.”

He sidled around her, and she followed him and Dade out the front door. Leaning against the railing of the porch, she watched Cody stride toward the truck where Aaron was still sleeping near his cousins. He whispered something too low for her to make out, then leaned into the truck bed and kissed the cowlick on top of Aaron’s blond head. Turning, he hugged the Breck Crew roughly, one by one, spending more time with Ma. And when he was finished, Cody graced Rory with one more look, then hopped in his truck.

When Dade was settled on the passenger’s side, Cody pulled away, leaving a deep and echoing emptiness in the pit of Rory’s chest.

Cody was leaving her here to do something precarious—something that could hurt him, or worse.

And on top of that, he hadn’t trusted her enough to let her into that part of his life.

He’d seemed so open last night, so happy about their bond, but when it came to the real grit that held two people together, he wasn’t interested in forsaking his bachelor ways. Was this how it was going to be? She would only have the parts of him he wanted her to see? The pretty pieces—the summer memories, easy words, and smiles. That’s not what she wanted. Rory was in this, ready to give all of herself, but the man she’d been destined for couldn’t give her the same.

Agony congealed her blood, making it hard to move her arms and legs as she swallowed a sob down. Her chest burned like a tiny flame where his touch and gentle affection had sealed their bond. As she stared out over the pink and orange streaks across the evening sky, a tear slipped down her cheek and made a small
splat
against the railing of the porch.

She’d bonded to a man incapable of letting her in.

“What’s that?” Dade asked.

Cody fingered the little paperclip between his fingers and looked up at his youngest brother sitting across the chopper from him. “My boy gave it to me the first time I met him.” Leaning back, Cody stuffed the memento deep into his pocket and pulled a bulletproof vest over his torso. “Something feels off,” he said in a low voice the pilot would miss.

Sure, the pick-up point had been the same, the chopper had been waiting, and the pilot was the same one who took him on all the missions Krueger recruited him for, but still—something niggled at the edges of his instincts.

Dade shook his head and strapped himself into his own bulletproof vest. “Just focus on what we have to do. Let’s just get in and out of there. Krueger gave us all the instructions, and it seems like a cut-and-clear kill.”

Kill.
That word awoke his bear, and he closed his eyes against the urge to let the animal have his body.

When the chopper began its descent, Cody pulled the gun case from under his seat to the floor in front of him. Preparing and building the long-range weapon was second nature after his time in the war, and by the time he screwed on the silencer, his mind was on its way to being right again. There wasn’t time to think about the reasons why the mission felt off, especially when he hadn’t been able to come up with a single reason why. It was probably just Rory in his head. By morning, he would have to face her with blood on his hands. Sure, his targets were always terrorists, but by nature, he wasn’t a killer. He was a protector. He’d have to hide this side of his life for always if he wanted to keep her and Aaron.

But Dade was right. Get his head on straight, find the target, neutralize the threat, go home, and hope his overburdened soul could bear the life he’d taken. Hope Rory saw him as more than just some attack dog on a short leash.

The sound of the chopper blades was deafening as they hit the ground. Meadow grass waved like an ocean against the sand, and he and Dade slipped out and nodded to the pilot. He was young, twenty-one, if that. Krueger must really trust him if he was his go-to chauffeur in all of this. His name badge read
Allen
, but the word was close enough to Aaron to make Cody wince.

Dade ran in front of him, low to the ground, eyes on a GPS unit that would lead them to the exact coordinates of the cabin the target had apparently chosen to hole up in. His brother had always been less emotional about this part of their lives—the hidden, bloody, gritty part that they kept from everyone outside of the Breck Crew.

The evergreen woods were quiet and doused in the blue light of a half moon. There were no clouds, no bird song, no little critters’ heartbeats thumping in fear as he and Dade ran past. All was still except for the soft
pat-pat-pat
of the chopper blades fading behind them. Two miles of winding deer paths, jutting boulders, tripping vines, and shallow creek beds, and finally the scent of a man wafted to Cody on the breeze.

The wind kicked up suddenly, brushing this way and that against Cody’s skin.
Go back
, it seemed to say.
Save your soul from this. Save Rory and Aaron from what you are becoming.

Slapping his neck to rid himself of the chills there, he crouched down beside Dade on the edge of a tree line that surrounded a dilapidated cabin.

Probably only one room. The sealant between the logs had failed sometime in the home’s history, likely allowing the elements and bugs inside. Half of the roof had caved in, and the front door was only attached by the bottom hinge so it hung lopsided over the frame.

A soft glowing light flickered from inside, and a shadow paced across the single window.

With a steadying breath, Cody dropped down to his belly and pulled down the spiked feet of the sniper rifle to prop it up. Securing his shoulder in place and resting his finger on the cold metal of the gun above the trigger, he closed one eye and looked through the scope.

The window was smeared with dirt, but he could make out a man inside. It would be an easy shot from here. He’d made a hundred others at targets much farther away, but as a soft voice drifted to him, he hesitated.

“What are you waiting for?” Dade asked in a voice as soft as a gentle breeze.

“Listen.”

“To what. Let’s just get this done so Krueger doesn’t skin us.”

Cody cast him a warning glance. “Dade, stop. Just listen.”

His brother clenched his jaw but turned an ear to the decaying house.

The target was talking on the phone to someone, low enough that human ears wouldn’t be able to make out his words from this distance, but Cody wasn’t human.

“Maria, don’t come out here. There is nothing you can do, and I need to know that you’re safe. No, I swear I will. I can’t have Krueger finding out about you. We’ve got this far keeping us a secret.” The man paused in front of the window. “Babe, everyone is gone, and I can’t offer you protection anymore.” The man’s voice cracked. “I think he’ll send the Kellers. Babe, stop. Please stop crying.”

Dade’s eyes went wide, and he mouthed,
What the fuck?

“That was stupid to say. I was only trying to tell you that they’ll make it fast. No pain.” The man’s voice came out an agonized whisper as he said, “Maria. If I can’t make it back to you, I want you to move on.”

After that, the man took his time saying goodbye to a woman he obviously loved, and Dade continued to stare at Cody with that horrified expression that was probably mirrored on his own face right now. They’d never killed a target they knew had a girl waiting back home. Listening to that conversation had ripped the title
target
away from this man completely. He was a person who was scared and trying to console a woman who obviously cared deeply for him.

And how the fuck did he know the Kellers were coming? Or about Krueger?

The feeling of wrongness in his gut turned septic, and Cody shot upward to avoid getting sick in the ferns and leaving evidence of his presence here. “I’m going to talk to him.”

“What?” Dade whisper-screamed.

Cody removed the ammo and clicked the safety on the weapon, then pulled his handgun. “I’m sure as fuck not going to kill someone who doesn’t strike me as a terrorist. I don’t want to kill blind, Dade.”

“Ssshit,” his brother hissed, following behind him. The crack of metal as Dade cocked his own handgun was too loud in the still night.

The man had disappeared from the window, and when Cody did a three-count on his fingers and kicked in the door, it became clear why.

The target had heard them coming.

Angry, feral eyes flashed in the lantern light as the silver of a blade arced toward Cody’s throat. He ducked and rammed him backward until they hit a wall. The wood groaned under the impact but held. Cody dropped his gun and hit the man across the face. Bucking him off, the man threw a leg around the backs of his knees and landed Cody on his ass a split second before he was on him.

He blocked another slash of the knife. Where the fuck was Dade? A quick glance, and he could see Dade leaning against the wall, watching the fight with a look of utter confusion.

This target had fight training. That much was clear from the two jaw-smashing punches he landed on Cody’s face. The man lifted him and slammed him against the dining table with a splintering crash. Cody blocked and blocked again but was trying not to hurt the man.

Cody had questions, and dead people didn’t talk.

But when the man sunk his serrated knife deeply into Cody’s shoulder, red rage blasted through him as pain singed up his nerve endings. With a bellow of fury, he grabbed the man by his jacket and threw him against the wall, shattering the rotted logs completely and bringing part of the weakened roof on top of the target.

With a snarl, he slid the knife from his shoulder. Iron-scented warmth trickled out in spurts to the rhythm of his racing pulse. Hatred washed over him as he turned the hilt in his hand and bent down to grab the strip of jacket he could see in the rubble. The man’s body crumpled in on itself and he groaned as Cody pulled him from the wreckage.

He smelled it then, in the exact moment the man dragged defeated looking, silver eyes to his. Fur.

Cody staggered backward, releasing his grip on the man’s clothing. “What are you?”

The man huffed a breath. “What am I? I’m your mark, right? You’re a Keller, the government enforcer sent to snuff out the shifters they’ve lost control of.” The man spat. “Traitor.”

“What are you talking about?” Dade asked as he knelt down beside the man. “We aren’t enforcers.”

When the man smiled, his teeth were covered in red. “Fuck you.”

“You said Krueger’s name. How do you know him?” Cody asked, his stomach sinking with every second.

“Krueger was my handler. He was the handler for my entire crew. Five bears, and I’m the only one left. Bet you can’t guess why,” the shifter ground out. His dark hair was disheveled, and blood ran a river down the side of his face.

“I don’t understand,” Cody rasped out. “Why would Krueger kill your crew?”

The man shook his head slowly with an empty smile stretched across his face. His breath came in pants now, and he rattled when he breathed. “You don’t get it, do you? He uses you to put down the bears he’s lost control of. Those of us who resist doing his bidding, he deactivates. And for those of us who remove the trackers”—the man stretched his neck and showed an angry red scar where Krueger placed their tracking devices—“he sends in the Kellers.”

“No,” Cody said, standing and running his hands over his hair. “We were targeting terrorists.”

“Krueger has lots of terms for our kind. Terrorist is his favorite.”

“What’s your name,” Dade asked. “What Crew?”

“Adam Mercer of the late Bloodraid Crew. I’m all that’s left.”

“You and Maria,” Dade said.

“No,” Mercer breathed, the hatred falling from his face. “Please, she’s not part of this. She’s human. Please, man.” The silver faded from his eyes, and the scent of fear filled the room. “Don’t hurt her.”

“We won’t harm your woman,” Dade said low. “I mean, fuck, we didn’t even know we were hurting shifters. Krueger has been threatening our crew with this shit, too. It’s why we do this. Killing isn’t our choice.” He dragged a tortured gaze to Cody. “Nothing is our choice.”

No, no, no
. They’d been killing shifters? Their own kind, and for what? Because those people hadn’t done what Krueger wanted? Fuck! The people he had killed had cared for families once. They’d been innocent and not a risk to the American public at all. Not like Krueger had said.

If Krueger had done this to other crews, he was capable of wiping out the entire Breck Crew. He could hurt Rory and Aaron. Cody dropped to his knees beside the man and raised his knife. Mercer’s eyes went wide as his gaze followed the arc of the blade. He screamed in pain as it sank deeply into his arm.

Panting, Mercer stared down at the injury as Cody ripped the metal out. “What are you doing?”

“Saving you,” he growled out. “Bleed for a few minutes as you run through the woods, then cover your trail. We’ll buy you time, but you and Maria need to disappear until we can figure out how to get rid of Krueger. Lay low somewhere safe where no one can recognize you.”

“Okay,” he gasped, nodding his head. “I will.”

Dade dragged his gaze from Cody to Mercer. “You need to leave your ride here and ditch that cell phone. Call Maria from a payphone to meet up. Go now. You need as much of a head start as you can get.”

Mercer ripped off his jacket and limped onto the front porch, dripping red from his fingertips. He turned at the frame. “Thank you,” he said on a breath. “A bit of friendly advice since you spared my life—if I were you, I’d check your house thoroughly. Kruger places bugs. No video, just audio, but it’s how he tells when he’s losing control of a crew.” He gave one last nod of gratitude before he spun and ran for the woods.

Cody couldn’t see anything beyond Krueger’s soul-shattering betrayal. He’d used them to kill their own kind. Used them in a human war they had no stake in. He’d threatened Cody’s family and crew, and if what Mercer had said was true, someday, when they weren’t useful to Krueger anymore, he’d kill them, too.

Boiling rage heated his blood, burning through him until his bear was just beneath his surface.

“Fuck,” Dade whispered. “What are we going to do?”

Cody looked from the blood-smattered rubble to his brother. “We’re going hunting.”

“For what?”

“For Krueger.”