Battle Scars (19 page)

Evan laughed. “Then it’s settled.” He touched my shoulder. “I appreciate everything you’ve done, both Lisa and I do. Can I offer you a ride home?”

I snorted. “You got a driver’s license?”

Jess strode up. “I’ll take her.” She didn’t look at Red, tugging at my sleeve. “Let’s go.” Her gaze spun around the rough circle, marking each Felis in turn. “It’s all over.”

Jake and Evan lowered their heads, acknowledging Jess’s status. Red, after a second, followed suit.

I didn’t look around to see if Mary and her buddy did.

We headed for the door. I spotted the curious glances aimed at me on the way out, the muttered comments not meant for me to hear. I might be family but I was still a freak, outcast for my inability to Change.

“Don’t pay attention to them,” Jess ordered as she led me to her car. The Taurus sat diagonally across two parking spots. “It’s good.”

“No, it’s not.” I got in the passenger side and rested my head on the thin cushioned headrest. “It’s not good at all.” The throbbing had subsided into a dull thumping behind my eyes, threatening to pop my eyeballs out like marbles into my lap.

Jess stayed silent until we pulled onto the highway and for another half hour, driving in the growing darkness.

“That fellow—” she started, then stopped.

She was talking about Red.

“I’ll have to poke around, contact the Pride out East. I’m sure they know who he is. Need to find out more about him.”

Despite the pain I smiled, hoping she wouldn’t see it.

She looked over. “You look like shit. When did you eat last?”

“When Bran fed us.”

Jess snorted. “Let’s get something before you pass out. Can you keep it down?”

“There’s always room for donuts and coffee.”

She pulled off at the next exit, the neon sign signaling both.

The rest stop consisted of a Tim Horton’s donut shop and a gas station, one of which I needed bad. Jess nodded when I asked if she wanted a coffee and filled the car up as I went inside and picked up a box of Timbits the size of the Taurus and two large coffees, double-double.

She said nothing when I got back in, busy working on extracting her credit card from the greedy gas pump. I said nothing when she pulled into the parking lot instead of back onto the highway.

“Okay. What the fuck are you thinking about?” she rasped after taking her first sip of coffee. “I can see you’re upset and that’s what’s causing the headache. It’s not over Evan and Lisa, it’s not over the feud. Are you thinking Bran’s going to leave you for this woman?”

“She’s not just a woman. Her name is Angie.” I nibbled on a cinnamon donut hole, letting it soak up the hot coffee in my mouth. “She knew him before.”

“And you know him now,” Jess snapped back. “He’s bled for you and almost died for you. What else can he do?” She smacked the steering wheel with the heel of her hand, startling me. “Dammit, Reb. Why don’t you trust him?”

The coffee tasted bitter, despite the double helping of sugar. “I don’t—it’s not that I don’t trust him. I don’t trust her to not pull him into her orbit. She told me she wasn’t interested, that she wouldn’t make a play for him. But that was before she was kidnapped and he saved her like the white knight he wants to be.” I ran my finger around the edge of the cup. “She’s a part of his past he can’t ever give up. I don’t know if he wouldn’t feel more comfortable in her world, her human world.” I hesitated, trying to find the right words. “Her safer world.”

“He already made that choice at your front door. So what if she makes a move on him ’cause she feels obligated? She can’t take what’s not hers.” Jess shook her head. “In my day you’d just challenge her, beat the shit out of her and that’d be that. He’d fall into line like a good little boy and it’d be done.”

I smiled. “You’re assuming I could take her.”

Jess snorted. “I’ve seen her. You could, Changed or not.” She plucked out a dark chocolate Timbit, rolling it between her long slender fingers. “You’re overthinking this and it’s going to hurt your relationship with him.”

“I guess.”

“I know.” She popped the whole donut hole into her mouth and chewed for a few minutes before speaking again. “You think it’s because you’re Felis and he’s not.”

I squirmed in the passenger seat. “Maybe. I don’t know.”

Jess sipped her coffee. “Bran is your first serious love, right?”

My cheeks felt hot. “Yes.”

“And, God willing, your last.”

I nodded.

Jess poked around in the box. “They never add enough chocolate ones. I think they do that on purpose.” She looked at me. “Trace offered to marry you.”

“It wasn’t anything serious.” I flashed back to the tall proud Felis from the Penscotta Pride. He’d been assigned as my babysitter by the local Board and ended up helping me find a killer. He’d also ended up facing Bran’s wrath for daring to court me. Trace had backed down but the feelings he’d stirred up as a virile male Felis were hard to forget, despite my commitment to Bran.

“Serious enough.” She came up with a white powdered hole. “I bet you thought for a second, a fraction of a second, about how nice it’d be to be part of a Pride again. Married to a Felis who wouldn’t ask so many questions, wouldn’t be curious about who you were. Accepted by not only him but by his family, by his Pride without question.”

“It was because he felt sorry for me. A warped, mutant Felis who dared to love a human.” I looked out into the darkness. My eyes burned.

“Maybe, maybe not. Ever think what prompted this? He’d known you for a few hours and here he is proposing.”

I shrugged. “I figured it was because his uncle wanted to distract me, toss something down in the road bright and shiny to throw me off the trail.”

“I doubt that. I think Trace wanted you to become part of the family again, part of your clan,” Jess said. “It was a kneejerk reaction but an honest one. He wanted to take you away from Bran not just because he was a human but because he knew you needed to be part of a group again. It failed because you told him no and went to your own family. You went to Bran.” Powdered sugar fell on Jess’s shirt. “Ever think this might be the same thing?”

I blinked away tears. “What?”

“Think about it.” She held up a finger. “I’m going to spend a few moments here drinking some fine coffee. Don’t answer, just drink and think.”

The coffee was strong and hot, urging me to blow on it through the little opening on the lid before taking another sip.

We sat in the parking lot in near-darkness, the neon red sign reflecting off the windshield.

“Trace is to Angie what I am to Bran.” I paused and frowned. “I think.”

“Spell it out.” Jess bit into a glazed Timbit. “Love these. Well worth adding a mile to my daily run.”

I spoke slowly, choosing each word with care. “Angie is like Trace. She wants to offer Bran a chance to get back into their world, back into saving street kids. Back with her ’cause she never stopped loving him.” I rubbed my eyes. “Their group, their family, their clan of street kids broke up when Bran left. If she gets him back she’ll have pulled him away from the nasty outside world that drove him into writing trash articles, the world that hurt him and keeps on hurting him.” I stopped, out of breath and befuddled. “And Bran’s like me. He doesn’t want to go back to her and to the streets because he knows he won’t fit in but he’s tempted because it’s the familiar, the comfortable way to go. A simpler life with a simpler way of doing things.” I couldn’t help smiling. “Bran and I, we’re our own Pride, our own little family. Fucked up, but we match up.”

Jess plucked the last donut hole from the box. “Way to go, grasshopper.” She waved it at me before taking a bite. “And now I can take you home without you screwing up a good thing.”

“Since when did you get to be so wise?” I glanced at the inside of the box, hoping to find some crumbs.

“Since I got old. Now shut up and drink your coffee.”

The rest of the drive back I sat quietly and did so, wondering whether age really brought wisdom or just bitchiness.

We pulled up in front of my Parkdale house an hour later, around dinnertime.

The windows were dark.

I peered down the alley running along the side of the house to my parking spot.

Empty.

“Don’t.” Jess put her hand over mine, squeezing it lightly. “Don’t go there.”

“He should have been home by now.” I tried to keep the quiver out of my voice and failed.

“Maybe they went out for something to eat, same as us. Best place to debrief her would be in public, keep her from making a fuss if she didn’t buy his cover story.” Jess pulled out her cell and checked for messages.

“What’s that for?”

She tapped something on the minute keyboard. “I would have gotten an alert if he’d been in an accident or anything like that.”

I stared at her. “Since when do you keep tabs on that?”

She waggled the phone at me. “Do you think I do nothing all day but eat pie? I have eyes and ears everywhere to make sure my charges stay safe.” Her eyes narrowed. “And that consists of the entire Pride plus you and your mate. When I said I put him under my protection I meant it, including having his name on our list to be flagged if it comes up at an emergency site.” She put the phone into her hip pocket. “I knew you were at the hospital within an hour of you being admitted. I also knew you’d have that cop there because you hadn’t updated your emergency contact and Bran was on his way, courtesy of the cop’s voicemail.”

I opened my mouth to speak and then thought better of it. It might be better for me not to know the extent of her connections into my world, past and present.

“And before you ask—the reason I didn’t rush over there was because your buddy was already there. No use muddying the waters with extra people, not to mention getting that cop’s attention.”

“Then why didn’t you pull the trigger on McCallister there and then?” I was too tired to keep the anger hidden. “You knew all this and did nothing until Bran called and brought me up to the farm?”

“You were handling it well enough.” She checked the phone again. “No use getting involved until I had to. Besides, Bran had it under control.”

I didn’t have a response to that.

“Might as well go inside and rest.” Jess unlocked the car doors with a flick of her finger. “You’ve had a long day.”

“That makes two of us.” I stifled a yawn, watching her do the same. “Would you like to come in for a drink?”

I might be exhausted but I was still my mother’s daughter, polite to the end.

I was also Canadian.

She shook her head. “I’ve got a stack of paperwork and plenty of calls to make. The Board’s got to be updated and the Grand Council as well. If I’m lucky I’ll finish up by morning.” She paused and I saw an uncharacteristic look, curiosity mixed with something else. “And I want to find out a bit more about this Red.”

I resisted the urge to smile. “Thank you for the help.”

She looked at the dark house and then at me. “Don’t underestimate Bran or his love for you, kit.” One finger tapped the scar on her cheek. “I know how far a man will go for a woman. He’s gone as far and farther, in my book.”

The car drove off with a roar and skidded around the corner before disappearing. I winced, smelling the burned rubber.

Chapter Fifteen

I walked up the short path to the front door, fumbling with my house keys. My left arm ached and my head was on the verge of exploding. The coffee and donut holes had helped but I was exhausted and just plain worn out.

Jazz wove between my legs before I had a chance to hit the main lights, merping her annoyance with my prolonged absence. I made my way to the kitchen and replenished her food bowl.

I didn’t feel like food but I needed something more in my belly than fried bits of dough if I wanted to take some pain relievers.

The toaster hummed as it moved toward burning the toast. I poured a glass of milk, not daring to add tea atop the coffee. My stomach was already twitching, between my nerves and the coffee.

I forced down the milk and toast before staggering upstairs to the bathroom and various over-the-counter drugs. The extra-strength pain meds caught in my throat on the way down just long enough to send me into a coughing fit, making the headache worse.

All I needed now was for Jazz to throw up on the bedspread.

I checked, just in case.

The salsa-stained bedspread was still on the floor in a pile, a fat lump at the foot of the bed. I should have tossed it to the corner stack of dirty laundry but I was too tired to do anything.

The sheets were cool as I stripped down to just my panties and a ragged old T-shirt and climbed in, not caring much right now what happened or was going to happen. I was dog-tired and sore and more than a little heartsick.

Jazz leaped up beside me with a grunt. She headbutted my hip as I lay on my back and stared at the ceiling. Upset and ignored, she settled down beside me and purred.

Waiting for the drugs to kick in I took inventory of the past few days.

I’d gotten two young people off the streets and back into their homes, safe and sound. I’d helped end a family feud and I’d helped a lost Felis find a new family.

Not a bad day’s work. And I’d even gotten some money out of it.

I still felt like shit. My stomach rolled, tossing around the toast and meds.

I closed my eyes and tried to relax, the white furry bundle at my side providing both heat and purr therapy.

* * *

The forest was dark and deep, a warped version of the one I’d run through in my youth up on the farm. Black gnarled roots jabbed out of the ground at odd angles, ready to trip me as I ran through the shadows.

The trail wasn’t wide but it was well worn, the tracks of hundreds, maybe thousands of Felis before me clawing a way through the wilderness. I was barefoot, wearing a shirt and shorts as I sprang over a fallen tree trunk blocking the trail. A mossy rock threatened to send me flying but I regained my balance and kept going, relishing the challenge.

There was a full moon providing enough light to run by and I could scent the other animals around me—predators and prey keeping their distance from me, from the other Felis who surrounded me. We were masters and mistresses of the world and we were on the hunt.

Problem was I didn’t know what I was hunting for.

Other Felis around me growled and hissed as they found their mates. I imagined them falling to the ground and wrestling in fiery foreplay, each trying to top the other in a never-ending battle of dominance.

Felis may not have invented BDSM but we sure could embrace it wholeheartedly.

A wind whipped around me, bringing me familiar scents. Trace, Jess, Evan and Lisa—I caught a whiff of Red that flashed through, his laughter a sparkling flash in my mind’s eye.

A new scent crashed into my nostrils, wiping everything else away.

Bran.

I stopped still, trying to figure out where he was. The distinctive odor was everywhere I turned as I spun frantically, toes digging into the dirt.

I couldn’t find him. It was like trying to pick out a single raindrop in a storm, the overwhelming strength of his scent flooding my senses to the point of overload. Goosebumps scrambled over my bare arms and legs as I kept turning, trying to see something, anything in the moonlight.

A haunting roar went up from nearby, a Felis declaring his love for his mate.

Bran.

It was echoed almost immediately by other Felis; males joining in to add their voices to the group song.

I turned again as his distinct voice emerged from the chorus, growing in intensity and volume.

The howling stopped.

Bran came crashing out of the shadows and knocked me to the ground.

I rolled onto my back in time for him to straddle me, both of us panting.

His hands grabbed my wrists and locked them over my head, the weight of his body pinning me to the ground.

I thrust upwards with my hips to dislodge him but he wasn’t having any of that. He snarled and pressed down, rocking against me as he let out another possessive growl. One hand reached down to rip my shirt open at the shoulder, exposing my collarbone and neck.

His eyes locked with mine, freezing me in place.

Wild, feral.

Felis.

“Only you,” he whispered as he moved in on my exposed skin, showing his teeth. “Only you.”

* * *

“Only you.”

I snapped awake to feel Bran’s weight on my hips, his face just above mine. My hands were free and I grabbed at his arms, anchoring myself on his bare skin as I tried to center myself.

He stared at me, not flinching as my nails dug into his forearms. He was wearing what I’d seen him in last when he’d walked out of the barn with Angie, and while it stunk of the farm it didn’t smell like sex.

I relaxed, willing myself to take deep slow breaths and come out of my half-sleep.

Bran’s shoes thumped on the floor at the bottom of the bed as he toed them off, not moving from his dominant position.

“Are you okay?” he said. “You were thrashing around when I came upstairs. I thought you were having some sort of a seizure, a nightmare—” He gasped and I saw the sweat on his face, heard his heart pounding frantically against his chest. “I didn’t know what else to do. I didn’t want you to fall out of bed or hurt yourself.”

I glanced at my hands, grateful my claws hadn’t come out. The damage was done, though, blood already welling up in the small crescent-shaped cuts on his skin.

“Are you okay?” he repeated. His hands went to my face, cradling it. “Rebecca? Do you want to go back to the hospital? Are you sick? Is it your head, the concussion?” He studied my eyes. “Do you know who I am?”

“You’re that punk ass reporter I’m madly in love with.”

Bran shook his head. “Brain damage. Horrible stuff.”

I chuckled. “I’m fine, I’m fine. Just a dream.”

“Okay. Just a dream.” He didn’t sound convinced. “So what happened after I left? Anything interesting?”

“Nah, nothing much.” I smiled, willing my heartbeat to slow. “Evan challenged his mother, won, and took over as leader of his family. He asked Jake Middleston for a truce and for the right to date his daughter. Feud’s over and our lovebirds are together.”

Bran let out a low whistle. “Wow. Didn’t expect that.”

“Neither did I. And Red seems to be fascinated with Jess.”

“Oh, no.” He shook his head. “I am not going to be in bed with you and have that image in my mind. No, no, no.” Another enthusiastic shake. “I’m sort of sorry I missed all the fun.”

I stroked the fresh wounds, remembering why he’d missed all the fun.

Angie.

“She’s gone,” Bran said as if reading my mind. “We went to the shelter so she could check that it was locked up and then I her home. That’s why it took me so long to get back here.” One edge of his mouth tipped up in a smile. “Seems there’s good money in helping the homeless. She’s got a nice spot at Yonge and Lawrence, renting a semi-detached house that costs easily a grand a month. A long way from sleeping in the park and scrounging for food.”

I blinked, feeling the tears begin running down my cheeks.

Bran kissed me. “What? What’s wrong?”

I shook my head, not sure where to start or even if I could explain the confusion running through my mind.

Bran sat up again, rubbing his arms where I’d scratched him. “It’s Angie, isn’t it?”

I nodded.

“She’s gone for good.” Bran licked his dry lips. “I won’t lie and tell you she didn’t make an offer to me regarding carnal knowledge of her body. I put it down to emotional distress at first, giving her an easy out.” He paused. “She declined the opportunity and tried to press her advantage, having me all to herself without you around to claw her eyes out.” His cheeks puffed out as he crossed his eyes.

I sniffled my way through a chuckle at his expression.

“But I pointed out, and quite firmly I might add, that I had someone waiting for me at home. Someone I loved and cared about.” He kissed away a tear. “Silly little Felis.”

I snorted, trying to regain my composure. “Not silly or little.”

“Hmm.” Bran shifted his hips, rocking forward with a snarky grin. “Me neither.” He looked from side to side. “Who brought you home?”

“Jess.”

“You didn’t ask her to stay for tea?”

“No.” I took a deep breath, inhaling his natural musk and wallowing in it. “She’s got things to do, people to terrorize.” I paused before asking the million dollar question. “Will Angie keep quiet?”

“I told her it was some sort of family feud—that much wasn’t a lie. She won’t go to the cops, she’s still wary of law enforcement from her time on the streets. And she never saw anyone Changed so that’s not a problem and no one reported her as missing.”

I frowned. “No one?”

A bit of a smirk emerged as he continued. “McCallister grabbed her without anyone noticing. Her staff figured she went off on an errand without telling them and then went home or out. I also pointed out it wouldn’t look good for her charity to get bad press about harboring runaways involved in gang fights and so forth, so keeping quiet about the past few days would be a very good decision.” He bent down and licked away a wet streak on my cheek. “She’s got nothing to say and that’s the last of it. I don’t plan to see her again.”

“Ever?” There was more of a lilt in my voice than I’d planned.

“Ever,” he said. “She’s doing quite well for herself and I don’t think there’s anything to be gained by dwelling on the past.”

“Good.” I gulped.

He studied my face. His forehead furrowed with a mixture of concern and worry. “Did you think I’d choose her over you?”

“No.”

Bran touched my chin with one finger. “Liar. Now tell me why you thought I’d walk out on you.”

I gulped. “You’ve got it easy with her. She’s human and I’m Felis and we’re so damned complicated and you have to keep fighting for every inch of respect and I’m so much trouble—” I broke off, at a loss for words.

“I won’t say that being with you isn’t a hell of a lot of hard work.” He tapped the tip of my nose. “And yes, I get tired of having to prove myself every time we meet family. But it’s no worse than having a human girlfriend with her in-laws, brothers and sisters and pissy girlfriends and ex-boyfriends who’d want to take me on.” He rolled over to lie beside me, taking my left hand in his right. “But I understand why you’d feel that way.”

I turned my head to look at him. “I’m sorry.”

“You should be.” His free hand pulled up his shirt, showing the fading scars. “I didn’t get these for loving her. I got them for loving you.” He tugged on my fingers. “Only you.”

“Okay.” It was all I could say without dissolving into a puddle of tears.

“Now.” Bran pulled me to my side with a devilish grin. “Let me say it again without words. But still using my tongue.”