Battle Hymns (18 page)

Rachel stowed her pocketbook in her locker. “Well, I
guess I should tell you the news. Today’s my last day as a
volunteer nurses’ aide. I’ve decided to become a salesgirl at
Macy’s. I start tomorrow.”

“Really? Why?”

Rachel sighed. “I can’t do this forever, and my
family needs the extra income.”

“But I thought you enjoyed working here. Why don’t
you become a nurse if you want to make a real job out of it?”

“I’d love to.” Rachel shrugged. “But nursing school
costs money.”

“Oh, right.”

“And besides, I should come to terms with the fact
that I’m already twenty-five years old and have no marriage
prospects.” Rachel laughed bitterly. “I certainly don’t want to
live with my parents until I’m an old maid, so it’s time to start a
career of sorts.”

“I guess that makes sense.”

“What about you?”

Charlotte stared at Rachel. “What about me?”

“I mean, what are you going to do after you finish
your degree? Don’t take this the wrong way, but you’re not about to
be married anymore.”

Charlotte swallowed hard. She had planned her entire
future around being Nick’s wife. Now she was adrift. “I don’t
know.”

“I guess you have more time to figure it out than I
do.” Rachel stood and adjusted her Red Cross uniform. “Are you
ready to go back? I can’t believe it’s my last day here. It’s
surreal.”

Charlotte wiped away her tears and returned to the
ward with Rachel.

Jimmy was gone. The bed was stripped of its sheets.
It looked as though he’d never even been there.

While Rachel helped a nurse with a new patient,
Charlotte approached Will’s bedside.

He was sitting up and flipping through a
Popular
Science
magazine. He glanced up from the periodical. “Hey. Did
you know they’ve invented a new elastic? They’re substituting it
for rubber in military manufacturing.”

“I didn’t know that. How are you today?”

Will dropped the magazine onto his lap. “Much better
now that you’re here.”

Charlotte smiled nervously. This was the kind of talk
that made her think her mother was right about Will being in love
with her. “Let’s take a walk. Your legs could use the exercise, and
it’s a nice day outside.”

“Okay.” Will swung his legs over the side of the bed,
stood, and reached for his cane. They rode the elevator down to the
ground level and entered the courtyard.

She shielded her eyes from the sun. “How’s your
physical therapy going?”

“It’s all right. My leg is getting stronger every
day. I’m hoping I can stop using the cane soon. It shouldn’t be too
much longer. Then I can report back for duty.”

She halted in the middle of the walkway. “So you’ll
return. What if you crash again? What if you don’t survive this
time?”

Will frowned. “Are you all right? Let’s sit.” He
gestured to a nearby bench.

Charlotte sighed as she took a seat next to him. “I’m
sorry. I’m convinced everyone I know is going to die in this war. I
don’t want it to happen to you, too.”

Will tapped his fingers against the bench. Finally,
he said, “I don’t want to die either, but we need to end this war.
Charlotte, they’re murdering hundreds of thousands of innocent
people in Europe, maybe more. We need to stop them, and I need to
contribute to that. I don’t think I could live with myself if I
didn’t.”

“You’ve already contributed and nearly died because
of it.”

She took a deep breath and straightened her posture.
She needed to change the topic of their discussion before she said
something she’d regret. She’d probably already given Will the wrong
idea about her feelings toward him by becoming so upset in the
first place. She hoped he understood her concern was only on
account of their friendship.

“Who visited you earlier?” Charlotte asked in a
lighter tone. “I’ve never seen you have any visitors beyond
military personnel, and that man wasn’t wearing a uniform.”

“That was my father.” Will’s voice was steady and
composed, but his hands were clenched into fists at his side.
“Apparently, photos of Friday’s ceremony made it into the
New
York Times
so he knew where to find me.”

“What did he have to say?”

“It doesn’t matter.”

“Will, he’s your father and the only remaining family
you have left. He must care about you if he came to D.C. to visit
you.”

He shook his head, his face reddening. “He doesn’t
care. He just wanted to make himself feel better. An apology can’t
undo what he did, and I can’t forgive him.”

Charlotte shrugged. “Maybe he was being sincere.”

“You see too much good in people.”

“Well, what did he do? It must’ve been something
terrible.”

“He killed my sister.”

Her eyes widened. “I thought you said she was killed
in the Blitz.”

“She was. She never would’ve been in London if he
hadn’t pushed her away.” Will stood. “You know what? I don’t want
to talk about this anymore.” He limped back to the building as fast
as he could.

Charlotte took a moment to collect her next words
before running after him.

She caught up with him inside. “Not everyone gets a
second chance to make things right, Will. You’re lucky you do.”

Will stopped in the corridor, his eyes narrowed.
“Stay out of it, Charlotte.” With a scowl, he continued down the
hallway, leaving her behind, bewildered and frustrated.

Twenty-Four

C
harlotte didn’t return to
the Army Medical Center the following week. When Natalie asked
about the abrupt change to her schedule, she explained that she was
exhausted, needed to focus on her schoolwork, and wanted to reclaim
her social life. Although true, those reasons paled in comparison
to her primary intention, one she couldn’t possibly explain to
Natalie: She needed to put some space between her and Will.
Following her outburst, she was acutely aware of her attachment to
him and decided to limit her exposure.

But by Friday, she missed volunteering at the
hospital, regardless of Will. The work was so rewarding that every
other activity—tennis, socialization, and even schoolwork—seemed
trivial. After her last lecture ended, Charlotte donned her Red
Cross uniform and rode the bus to the hospital. As soon as she
stepped onto the ward, her gaze slipped toward Will’s bed. It was
vacant. His absence wasn’t unusual. He often took walks or visited
the other wing of the hospital for his physical therapy. She began
her rounds, trying to focus on the tasks at hand.

Nearly two hours passed, and Will hadn’t returned.
Charlotte finished cleaning the medical equipment and strolled
toward his bed for a closer look. The white sheets were new and
perfectly folded, and none of his personal items littered the
bedside.

She panicked. The empty bed reminded her of Jimmy.
The more likely explanation was he’d been discharged. But that
theory didn’t reassure Charlotte. Will had no reason to stay in the
Washington, D.C. area. He’d return to New York or Connecticut, or
he’d be sent to England to continue fighting in the war. Either
way, she’d never see him again.

As casually as possible, Charlotte paced to the other
end of the ward and found Nurse Parker. “What happened to
Lieutenant Kendrick? Was he discharged?”

“Yes, he was discharged on Wednesday.” Nurse Parker
looked up momentarily from a chart. “He was as healthy as could be,
except for the limp. The doctor determined the physical therapy had
helped him as much as it possibly could.”

Charlotte nodded, her eyes growing misty.

Nurse Parker’s brow lifted. “We can’t support healthy
men.”

“I know. Thank you.”

She couldn’t bring herself to continue volunteering
for the remainder of the evening. She grabbed her belongings from
the nurses’ lounge, signed out at the reception desk, and stood at
the vacant bus stop. The worst of the afternoon rain had passed;
only a lingering drizzle dampened her uniform.

Buckling over, she grasped the bench for support and
let out a shaky cry.

Will’s absence brought back painful memories of
Nick’s death. Almost five months had passed since Mr. Adler broke
the news. She remembered that time of her life poignantly—all the
tears and stupid fights with Natalie, but also Will’s continual
support. She didn’t know how she would’ve made it through without
him. Maybe that was the only reason he’d been brought into her
life. Now that she was beginning to heal, it was time for him to
disappear.

When the bus arrived, Charlotte dabbed her eyes with
her handkerchief and smoothed down her hair. She lifted her chin.
She wouldn’t allow herself to breakdown again. If she was strong
enough to survive her fiancé’s death, she could survive Will’s
departure.

When she returned to her room, Natalie was applying
pink lipstick in front of the vanity mirror. She jumped when
Charlotte opened the door.

“Oh! You’re back early. I’m going to the movies
tonight. Do you want to go with me?”

Charlotte kicked off her shoes. She removed the cap
from her hair, unpinned her damp curls, and dried them with a hand
towel. She hoped Natalie wouldn’t notice her nose was red from
sniffling. “What are you going to see?”

“Sandra and Frankie are going to the new Cary Grant
flick. She invited me to join them.” Natalie stood from the vanity.
“I don’t want to be a third wheel on their date, but I also can’t
avoid outings just because John is in Africa. Besides, if you join
me, I’m not a third wheel.”

“John’s still in Africa? Do you know where?”

“I think Tunisia. He won’t confirm anything, though.
The newspapers seem to think they won’t be there much longer, but
what if their next destination is worse? They could be going to
Germany for all I know.” Natalie sighed. “I don’t think I’m ready
for that.”

“Well, you can’t control where they’re sent. Try not
to worry about it.” Charlotte’s lips lifted into a faint smile.
“Come on, let’s watch Cary Grant woo Laraine Day. I’ll be your
date.”

They joined Sandra and Frankie at the local cinema.
As they settled into their seats with a bucket of popcorn,
war-related newsreels flickered across the screen. The first one
was about manufacturing on the home front, a topic Charlotte
watched with mild interest. The second one was a short documentary
on the Americans fighting with the Royal Air Force in England. The
cameras flew with the airmen and captured the RAF bombing Germany
and fighting the Luftwaffe in the skies above France. They showed
the same engagements Will had described, ones in which he would
participate again shortly. Charlotte wrung her hands as she stared
at the images. By the time it was over and the feature began, her
stomach stirred.

She quietly excused herself and retreated to the
lobby. She leaned against the wall and clutched her abdomen. She
shouldn’t have eaten so little for dinner.

Natalie entered the lobby. “Are you all right? You
look like you’re going to be sick.”

“I’m fine.” Charlotte’s cheeks burned with the lie.
“You should go watch the movie.”

Natalie planted her hands on her hips. “I know you
too well. You’re upset. Is it about Nick?”

Charlotte stared at the carpet. If she told Natalie
about Will’s departure, she’d have to admit she’d kept her
friendship with Will a secret from her best friend. Natalie didn’t
like being kept in the dark about anything.

Charlotte exhaled a long breath. “Do you remember
that pilot I told you about? The one who was shot down over
Germany? When he was admitted to the hospital, he didn’t talk for
over a week.”

Natalie pursed her lips. “Yeah, I think so.”

Charlotte gripped her pocketbook tightly.
“Well . . . we actually became pretty good friends.
I was his guest at an award ceremony last week, and he’s even met
my parents.”

Natalie’s jaw dropped. “He met your parents? And you
haven’t even told me about him? Why didn’t you?” Her eyes narrowed.
“Are you sure you’re just friends? I mean, I believe men and women
can have platonic relationships, but . . . he met
your parents, for goodness’ sake!”

Charlotte rolled her eyes. “It was an accident. We
ran into my father leaving the Pentagon, and he invited Will over
for a home-cooked meal.”

“His name is Will? See, you didn’t even tell me his
name! Unbelievable.”

“Maybe this is why I didn’t tell you until now.”

Natalie’s expression softened. “Sorry. It’s just a
major thing to keep from me.” She crossed her arms. “So, why are
you upset?”

“Since you apparently disapprove, you’ll be glad to
know Will was discharged from the hospital on Wednesday. He’s
probably on his way back to England, where he’ll start bombing
Germany again just like in the RAF clip.” Charlotte motioned to the
theater. “I didn’t get to say good-bye, and now I’ll probably never
see him again.”

“I don’t disapprove.” Natalie tilted her head
inquisitively. “Do you love him?”

Charlotte arched her eyebrow. “No. We’re
friends.”

Natalie tapped her foot on the carpet. “I think
you’re in denial. Other friends have gone to war. You’ve only ever
reacted this way when Nick left. Until now.”

Charlotte closed her eyes and rubbed her forehead.
Although she did have strong feelings for Will, they weren’t as
strong as the ones she’d felt toward Nick. Then again, she couldn’t
stand the thought that Will would no longer be in her life. Was
that love?

She shrugged. “I don’t know. Maybe I do. But it
doesn’t matter.”

Natalie nodded. “Good. I don’t want to see you get
hurt again. You’ve gone through enough this past year. Let’s forget
about him and move on. All right?”

Charlotte took a step away from the wall. “All
right.”

Natalie gestured to the theater. “Let’s go back
inside. We’ve missed the beginning. I’ll get Sandra to fill us in
if she hasn’t been too distracted with Frankie.”