Authors: Donald E Westlake
âEvery penny. The light too bright for you?'
âI just went to a movie.'
âOh, yeah? What'd you see?'
Dortmunder had forgotten the title. âIt was in color,' he said.
âThat narrows it. Probably a pretty recent one, then.'
âYeah.'
Victor said, âI'm drinking tonight.' He sounded very pleased.
Dortmunder ducked his head a little more and looked at Victor under his fingers. He was smiling, of course, and holding up a tall glass. It was pink. Dortmunder said, âOh, yeah?'
âA sloe-gin fizz,' Victor said.
âIs that right?' Dortmunder readjusted head and fingers â it was like putting down Venetian blinds â and turned firmly back to Kelp. âSo you got the whole four thousand,' he said.
âYeah. A funny thing about that â¦'
The door opened and Murch came back in. âIt's all set,' he said. He was smiling, too, but it was easier to live with than Victor's. âThanks for setting me straight,' he said.
âGlad it worked out,' Dortmunder said.
Murch sat down in front of his beer and carefully salted it. âRollo's okay when you get to know him,' he said.
âSure he is.'
âDrives a Saab.'
Dortmunder had known Rollo for years but hadn't known about the Saab. âIs that right?' he said.
âUsed to drive a Borg-Ward. Sold it because he couldn't get parts when they stopped making the car.'
Kelp said, âWhat kind of car is that?'
âBorg-Ward. German. Same company that makes Norge refrigerators.'
âThey're American.'
âThe refrigerators, yeah. The cars were German.'
Dortmunder finished his drink and reached for the bottle, and Rollo opened the door and stuck his head in to say, âThere's an Old Crow on the rocks out here asking for Kelp.'
âThat's him now,' Kelp said.
âA darkish fella.'
âThat's him,' Kelp said. âSend him on in.'
âRight.' Rollo gave a bartender's glance around the table. âEverybody set?'
They all murmured.
Rollo cocked an eye at Murch. âStan, you got enough salt?'
âOh, sure,' Murch said. Thanks a lot, Rollo.'
âAny time Stan.'
Rollo went away. Dortmunder glanced at Murch, but didn't say anything, and a minute later a tall lean guy with dark-brown complexion and a very modest Afro came into the room. What he looked most like was an Army second lieutenant on leave. He was nodding slightly and grinning slightly as he came in and shut the door, and Dortmunder wondered at first if he was on something; then he realised it was just the self-protective cool of somebody meeting a group of people for the first time.
âHey, Herman,' Kelp said.
âHey,' agreed Herman quietly. He closed the door behind him and stood there jiggling ice in his old-fashioned glass, like an early arrival at a cocktail party.
Kelp made the introductions: âHerman X, this is Dortmunder, that's Stan Murch, that's my nephew Victor.'
âHello.'
âHow are ya.'
âHello, Mr. X.'
Dortmunder watched Herman frown slightly at Victor and then glance at Kelp. Kelp, however, was busy being host, saying, âTake a seat, Herman. We were just talking about the situation.'
âThat's what I want to hear about,' Herman said. He sat down to Dortmunder's right. âThe situation.'
Dortmunder said, âI'm surprised I don't know you.'
Herman gave him a grin. âWe probably travel in different circles.'
âI was just wondering what your experience is.'
Herman's grin broadened into a smile. âWell, now,' he said. âOne doesn't like to talk about one's experiences in front of a whole room of witnesses.'
Kelp said, âEverybody's okay in here. But, Dortmunder, Herman really does know his business.'
Dortmunder continued to frown at Herman. It seemed to him there was something of the dilettante about this guy. Your ordinary run-of-the-mill heavy could be a dilettante, but a lockman was supposed to be serious, he was supposed to be a man with a craft, with expertise.
Herman glanced around the table with an ironic smile, then shrugged, sipped at his drink and said, âWell, last night I helped take away the
Justice
receipts.'
Victor, looking startled, said, âFrom the Bureau?'
Herman looked baffled. âFrom the bureau? It was on tables; they were counting it.'
Kelp said, âThat was you? I read about that in the paper.'
So had Dortmunder. He said, âWhat locks did you open?'
âNone,' Herman said. âIt wasn't that kind of a job.'
Victor, still trying to work it all out, said, âYou mean down at Foley Square?'
This time, Herman's frown was deep and somewhat hostile. âWell, the F.B.I. is down there,' he said.
âThe Bureau,' said Victor.
Kelp said, âLater, Victor. You're confused.'
âThey don't
have
any receipts at the Bureau,' Victor said. âI should know. I was an agent for twenty-one months.'
Herman was on his feet, the chair tipping over behind him. âWhat's going on here?'
âIt's all right,' Kelp said, fast and soothing. He patted the air in a gesture of reassurance. âIt's all right. They fired him.'
Herman, in his mistrust, was trying to look in seven directions at once; his eyes kept almost crossing. âIf this is entrapment â' he said.
âThey fired him,' Kelp insisted. âDidn't they, Victor?'
âWell,' Victor said, âwe sort of agreed to disagree. I wasn't exactly fired precisely, not exactly.'
Herman had focused on Victor again, and now he said, âYou mean it was political?'
Before Victor could answer, Kelp said smoothly, âSomething like that. Yeah, it was political,
wasn't it, Victor?
'
âUh. Sure, yeah. You could call it ⦠I guess you could call it that.'
Herman shrugged his shoulders inside his sports jacket, to adjust it. Then he sat down again with a relieved smile, saying, âYou had me going there for a minute.'
Dortmunder had learned patience at great cost. The trial and error of life among human beings had taught him that whenever a bunch of them began to jump up and down and shout at cross-purposes, the only thing a sane man could do was sit back and let them sort it out for themselves. No matter how long it took. The alternative was to try to attract their attention, either with explanations of the misunderstanding or with a return to the original topic of conversation, and to make that attempt meant that sooner or later you too would be jumping up and down and shouting at cross-purposes. Patience, patience; at the very worst, they would finally wear themselves out.
Now, he looked around the table at everybody smiling in new comprehension â Murch was salting his beer again â and then he said, âWhat we had in mind for this job was a lockman.'
âThat's what I am,' Herman said. âLast night, I was just filling in. You know, helping out. Usually I'm a lockman.'
âFor instance.'
âFor instance the People's Co-operative Supermarket on Sutter Avenue about three weeks ago. The Lenox Avenue office of the Tender Loving Care Loan Company a couple weeks before that. Smilin Sam Tahachapee's safe in the horse room behind the Fifth of November Bar and Grill on Linden Boulevard two days before that. The Balmy Breeze Hotel safe in Atlantic City during the Retired Congressmen's Convention the week before that. The Open Hand Check Cashing Agency on Jerome Avenue the â'
âYou don't
need
work,' Kelp said. He sounded awed. âYou got all the work you can handle.'
âNot to mention money,' Murch said.
Herman shook his head with a bitter smile. âThe fact is,' he said, âI'm broke. I really need a score.'
Dortmunder said, âYou must run through it pretty quick.'
âThose are Movement jobs,' Herman said. âI don't get to keep any of it.'
This time Victor was the only one who understood. âAh,' he said. âYou're helping to finance their schemes.'
âLike the free-lunch program,' Herman said.
Kelp said, âWait a minute. These are Movement jobs, so you don't get to keep the money. What does that
mean
exactly? Movement jobs. You mean they're like for practice? You send the money back?'
Victor said, âHe gives the money to the organisation he belongs to.' Mildly, he said to Herman, âWhich movement do you belong to, exactly?'
âOne of them,' Herman said. To Kelp he said, âI don't set any of those things up. These people that I believe in â' with a glance at Victor â âthat your nephew would know about, they set them up, and they put together the group that does the job. What we say is, we're
liberating
the money.'
âI think of it the other way around,' Kelp said. âI think of it that I'm capturing the money.'
Dortmunder said, âWhat was the last job you did on your own? Where you got to keep the loot?'
âAbout a year ago,' Herman said. âA bank in St. Louis.'
âWho'd you work with?'
âStan Devers and Mort Kobler. George Cathcart drove.'
âI know George,' Kelp said.
Dortmunder knew Kobler. âAll right,' he said.
âNow,' Herman said, âlet's talk about you boys. Not what you've done, I'll take Kelp's word for that. What you want to do.'
Dortmunder took a deep breath. He wasn't happy about this moment. âWe're going to steal a bank,' he said.
Herman looked puzzled. âRob a bank?'
âSteal a bank.' To Kelp he said, âYou tell him.'
Kelp told him. At first Herman sort of grinned, as though waiting for the punch line. Then, for a while, he frowned as though suspecting he was surrounded by mental cases. And finally he looked interested, as though the idea had caught his fancy. At the end he said, âSo I can take my time. I can even work in daylight if I want.'
âSure,' Kelp said.
Herman nodded. He looked at Dortmunder and said, âWhy is it still just a maybe?'
âWe don't have any place to put it,' Dortmunder said. âAlso, we have to get wheels for it.'
âI'm working on that,' Murch said. âBut I may need some help.'
âA whole bank,' Herman said. He beamed. âWe're gonna liberate a whole bank.'
Kelp said, âWe're gonna
capture
a whole bank.'
âIt comes to the same thing,' Herman told him. âBelieve me, it comes to the same thing.'
12
Murch's Mom stood smiling and blinking in the sunlight in front of Kresge's holding her purse strap with both hands, arms extended down and in front of her so that the purse dangled at her knees. She was wearing a dress with horizontal green and yellow stripes which did nothing to improve her figure, and below that yellow vinyl boots with green laces all the way up. Above the dress she wore her neck brace. The purse was an ordinary beige leather affair, which went much better with the neck brace than with the dress and boots.
Standing next to a parking meter, peering at Murch's Mom's image in an Instamatic camera, was May, dressed in her usual fashion. The original idea was that May would be the one in the fancy clothes and Murch's Mom would take the pictures, but May had absolutely refused to buy the kind of dress and boots Dortmunder had in mind. It also turned out that Murch's Mom was one of those people who always take pictures low and to the left of what they were aiming at. So the roles had been reversed.
May kept frowning into the camera, apparently never being quite content with what she saw â which was perfectly understandable. Shoppers would come along the sidewalk, see Murch's Mom posing there, see May with the camera, and would pause a second, not wanting to louse up the picture. But then nothing would happen except that May would frown some more and maybe take a step to the left or right, so the shoppers would all finally murmur. âExcuse me,' or something like that and duck on by.
At last May looked up from the camera and shook her head, saying, âThe light's no good here. Let's try farther down the block.'
âOkay,' said Murch's Mom. She and May started down the sidewalk together, and Murch's Mom said under her breath, âI feel like a damn fool in this get-up.'
âYou look real nice,' May said.
âI know what I look like,' Murch's Mom said grimly. âI look like the Good Humor flavor of the month. Lemon pistachio.'
âLet's try here,' May said. Coincidentally, they were in front of the bank.
âOkay,' Murch's Mom said.
âYou stand against the wall in the sunlight,' May said.
âOkay.'
Murch's Mom backed up slowly across the brick rubble toward the trailer, and May backed up against the car parked there. This time, Murch's Mom held the purse at her side, and her back was against the trailer wall. May took a fast picture, then stepped forward two paces and took a second one. With the third, she was at the inner edge of the sidewalk â too close to get all of Murch's Mom in the picture and with the camera angled too low to include her head.
âThere,' May said. âI think that's got it.'
âThank you, dear,' Murch's Mom said, smiling, and the two ladies walked around the block.
13
Dortmunder and Kelp quartered around the remoter bits of Long Island like a bird dog who's lost his bird. Today's car was an orange Datsun 240Z with the usual MD plates. They drove around under a sky that kept threatening rain but never quite delivered, and after a while Dortmunder began to grouse. âIn the meantime,' he said, âI'm not making any income.'
âYou've got May.'
âI don't like living on the earnings of a woman,' Dortmunder said. âIt isn't in my makeup.'
âThe earnings of a woman? She's not a hooker, she's a cashier.'