Bamboo and Lace (47 page)

Lily couldn't even let her mind think of how far away Gabe was just then. She didn't think her heart could take the memory.

Chapter Twenty-Six

“Hope,” Ling-lei called to her daughter during one of Lily's visits. Lily had been home about a month. “Do you wish to tell Lily what happened?”

The five-year-old came over, her little face alight.

“Come sit in my lap,” Lily invited. Having received an offer she would not pass up, the little girl climbed into Lily's lap and let herself be held close.

“You grew very big while I was gone.”

“I'm five.”

“Yes, you are.”

“I'm a Christian.”

“Oh, Hope…” Lily held her tightly, her heart pounding. “Can you tell me about this?”

“Mama and I looked in the Bible. We looked at the words from God.”

“What did they say, Hope?”

“That I'm a sinner, but Jesus wants to save me.”

“So what did you do?”

“I prayed,” she told her with a peaceful smile. “I told God I was ugly with sin but that I wanted Him to live in me. And now He does.”

“Will He ever leave you, Hope?”

“Never.”

“What about when you sin?”

“Not then even.”

Lily kissed her brow and rocked her a little.

“You have learned, little one, what many take too long to grasp. How wonderful to know that you and I have the same God living inside us.”

“He's with me when I'm scared.”

“Yes, He is.”

Lily's eyes met those of her friend. Ling was crying.

“Thank you for telling me.”

Hope climbed from Lily's lap, and the women sat in quiet wonder for a time. Lily prayed for Hope, asking God to bless her with a heart that would be strong and asking that she would walk with Him for all of her life.

“How are you?” In her quiet way, Ling cut into Lily's prayer.

For the first time since that night with her father, Lily let her shoulders droop and her true feelings show. She looked tired and discouraged. She didn't cry, but she did share openly.

“He still won't speak to me, Ling. It's been the most miserable time of my life—even worse than when my mother died. I don't know what to do. I feel he sees my going away as some type of betrayal. Jeff told me to write and he would intervene, but if Jeff gets involved, I think that will just put up a greater wall.”

“So you're not writing to Jeff, or not mentioning the situation when you do write?”

“All I'm saying in my letters to Jeff and Gabe is that the time isn't right and to please keep praying.”

Ling nodded and then asked, “Have you tried speaking to your father?”

“Well, I call to him, but when he won't answer I just stay quiet. Is that what you would do?”

Ling thought for a moment.

“I think I would say more,” she concluded at last. “You are so good on paper, Lily. Maybe he would read a letter from you. But you never yell, so I know if you speak to him it would be with respect.”

“So you think I should try?”

“Maybe a little at a time.”

Lily thought about this all the way home, and to her surprise, her father was in the house. He did not look up or acknowledge her, and at the moment Lily figured she had nothing to lose. She took her chair across from him in their small living room and did as Ling had advised her.

“I wish to say something to you, Father. I hope you'll listen.” Lily hesitated, but even though he did nothing, she went on. “I have not changed completely, but I was hoping that when we were alone, I could look at you without your permission. I know it would be a great change for us, but I don't wish it out of disrespect.” Lily finished with what was foremost on her mind. “I wish we could at least discuss it.”

When he gave no indication that he'd even heard her, Lily ended with just a few more words.

“I learned so many things while I was away, and you haven't asked about one of them. It feels as though all you want is to keep control of me, and I wish I understood why.”

Lily stood then and walked back out of the house. Tears blinded her, but she still began to run. It was too hot in the day for such activity, but she ran until she was overly warm and winded and then sat beneath a tree for shade.

I know You love me, and in his own way my father loves me, but I don't know what to do, Lord. Do I go back to the way it was, forget Gabe, and live out my life in this village?

But even as Lily prayed this, she didn't feel it was right. There was nothing wrong with her loving a godly man like Gabe and wanting a life with him. That her father would expect her to never find love and have a marriage of her own was not only unreasonable, it was selfish. At the same time, Lily knew that no amount of disrespect or anger toward her father was right. Lily asked God to help her curb her emotions and be as blameless as Elizabeth, who had been described in the first chapter of Luke. Only then did she let her thoughts turn to Gabe.

“I'm sitting under a tree in Lhasa, Gabe, and I'm thinking of you,” Lily whispered into the warm afternoon air. “Are you thinking of me?”

Oahu, Hawaii

One of Gloria and Carson's Christmas gifts to Gabe was a copy of the tape from Gloria's birthday. He had watched the video right after he got it, but not again until tonight.

It was late, and he should have been in bed like the rest of the household. But Lily was so heavy on his mind that he was up— close to midnight—watching her on the tape. It didn't take long to see that it would be sweet torture. He came to the part where Carson had filmed just the two of them in the kitchen, and when the television screen was full of Lily's smiling face, Gabe paused it. He smiled just at the sight of her and knew an ache so deep that he didn't know if he could stand it.

“Are you all right?” Ashton had come down the stairs to ask.

“Did I wake you?”

“No, but I saw the light when I used the bathroom.”

Ashton sat with Gabe, and this time the older Kapaia didn't pause the tape. They watched the whole party, laughing at their mother's fun response to her gifts and smiling in delight as Carson caught the children on film. The familiar images suddenly disappeared, static followed, and then the blue screen indicating the video was over appeared. Both men were brought abruptly back to the present. Gabe hit the button to shut things down.

“And this year Deanne will be in the film too,” Gabe said to his brother.

“So will Lily.”

“Do you think so?”

“Don't you?”

Gabe was quiet for a moment before saying, “Let's just say I'm hoping, Ash, but we'll have to wait and see.”

Knowing he was finally ready to sleep, Gabe told his brother good night and took himself off to bed.

Lily's face was nothing short of dreamy as she sat at the table in her house and read her letter from Gabe. He made her laugh on several occasions, and one time Lily's mouth actually opened in surprise.

I was really down yesterday when I realized you've been gone for seven weeks. Do you know what I did? I gathered what I needed, took myself off, and applied for a passport. I know by the time it comes I'll have calmed down, but as of yesterday I was getting ready to fly to you with little more than my toothbrush in my pocket. I had my hand on the phone to get prices from the airline when I realized I needed a passport. It was an impetuous act, I'll admit that to you, but I think that when it comes, just having it in hand might make you feel a little closer.

Lily set the letter down and smiled. He was so fun. She desperately wished she could tell him to come, or write and say she was coming, but it wasn't time. And Lily still wanted to do as Gabe had asked—honor her father's wishes.

“Lily, are you home?” Rika called from outside the door. “Can you come help me?”

Lily rose to aid the older woman, a smile on her face.

“What have you got?” Lily asked when she stepped outside to see that her neighbor was dragging what appeared to be an old, broken metal barrel. She had lassoed it with a rope and tied the rope around her waist.

“I don't know, but I wanted it.”

Lily laughed hugely over this, even as she spotted her father coming their way. He stopped and greeted Rika and asked if he could help.

“Lily and I can get it,” she replied, waving him off. Lily shook her head in amusement.

“So where do you want this?” the younger woman asked.

“In my garden.”

“All right, let me have some of the rope.”

The two tugged it along the path, both out of breath in a few minutes, and Lily wondered how the old woman had gotten it as far as she had. Once they had it in place, Lily was invited inside for some tea, and they visited for the next hour. It was a good time, but Lily suddenly realized she hadn't started working on dinner.

Not until she walked back into her own house did she remember she'd left the letter from Gabe on the table. Seeing it just as she left it gave her great relief as she knew her father had come in. As Lily gathered the letter and took it to her room, she wondered what her father would have done if she had gotten off the plane and told him she'd met a man. Having Gabe come up even at this stage of the game made Lily tremble with dread.

Lily suddenly stopped.
I've become consumed with worry, Lord. I don't trust You to take care of this. Please repair things between my father and me. Help me to know what to say and when.

Lily heard her father in his room just then and was reminded about dinner. It wouldn't help anything if she didn't get her work done. She had done her best to keep all her jobs going, even her translating, in an effort to show her father how much she cared. And it wasn't an act. She did care; she cared deeply.

And I must keep working to accept the fact that I may never get to go back and marry Gabe,
Lily reminded herself. She didn't know how many years it would take to get over that hurt, but if that was God's will for her, she did not want to let it cripple her.
Not to mention, whether I leave here tomorrow or never again, there's no point in stealing a moment of precious time from my work in the village.