Baked Alaska (15 page)

Maggie nodded, and Sadie looked down to hide her reaction. It was embarrassing to admit, even to herself, but she’d been hoping that maybe Lorraina
wasn’t
Shawn’s birth mother and that’s what he meant when he said Maggie wasn’t his sister. That Sadie should want such a conclusion made her feel like a terrible person.

“It doesn’t make sense,” Maggie said. She had a mascara streak running down the left side of her face, but Sadie didn’t point it out. “Lorraina knew things about me that no one else could know.” She said it as though it were a question Sadie could answer for her. “But why would she hide
me
if she didn’t hide Shawn’s adoption?” She paused and shook her head. “And...I can’t even ask her.”

Sadie pulled her into another hug while offering whispered bits of comfort as Maggie fell apart again. Lorraina’s family knew about Shawn, but not Maggie. So when Shawn said Maggie wasn’t his sister, what
exactly
did that mean?

“We argued the last time I saw her,” Maggie said softly as she tried again to get ahold of herself.

“What did you argue about?”

Maggie took a deep breath. “Things had been strange ever since we got on the ship. She’d disappear for periods of time, and she was always looking around when we were going somewhere—you know, like she was looking for someone. Yesterday afternoon I asked her what was going on. She tried to come up with all these excuses, but she finally admitted that Shawn was on the ship, but he didn’t want to see
me
.”

“You?” Sadie had interrupted one of the conversations Shawn had with Lorraina, and then Shawn had received a phone call in his cabin Sunday night, which Sadie already realized had likely been from Lorraina. But Sadie didn’t know what they had talked about. And why would Lorraina not tell Shawn or Maggie about the other one coming on the cruise? She didn’t know enough about Shawn’s interactions with Lorraina to guess. She would remedy that as soon as she could, but for right now, Maggie was divulging information, and Sadie was in a position to try to help her feel better, while picking up important details. “You’re sure it’s you he didn’t want to see?”

Maggie nodded. “I already knew Shawn didn’t want to meet me. Lorraina showed me those horrible e-mails he’d sent.”

What horrible e-mails?

Maggie continued before Sadie could ask for an explanation. “So when I found out she was trying to trick us into meeting, I was really mad. I told her I wished I hadn’t even come, and she totally freaked out and said she wished
she
hadn’t come either, that Shawn was ruining everything.”

“Everything? What’s everything?”

“Us meeting,” Maggie said. “That’s why she did all of this—because she really wanted Shawn and me to meet and get along, like a real brother and sister. She said all she ever wanted was for us to be a family.”

It took a whole lot of self-restraint for Sadie not to blurt out that
she
was Shawn’s family, not Maggie or Lorraina.

“But Shawn was so mad when he found her on the ship and he didn’t want you to know about either one of us, which had Lorraina all stressed out and nervous.”

Sadie couldn’t help but feel a little responsible for the fact that Shawn was unhappy to see Lorraina on the ship, and by default, Maggie, too. Having Sadie and his birth mother on the same ship had put him in a difficult position, but he’d made things far more complicated than they’d needed to be by not coming clean about everything in the beginning.

“Anyway,” Maggie continued, “I talked about leaving the cruise when we got to Juneau, and Lorraina told me to go ahead.” Tears filled Maggie’s eyes again, and she looked at the tissue she was holding in her lap. “Then she left the cabin. I had a mini-breakdown but tried to get centered for when she got back.” She paused, then took a ragged breath. “The next time I saw her, she was in the ship’s infirmary. I think . . . I think she was so upset about our argument that she went on that drinking binge. And now she’s in a coma.”

Maggie stared at her hands, her tears falling down her face. She looked completely exhausted.

“What time did this argument happen?” Sadie asked after a few seconds.

“It was around seven,” Maggie answered. “We’d just gotten back from dinner.”

So
before
Sadie had seen Lorraina at the photo gallery. “And did you stay in the cabin the rest of the night?”

Maggie nodded.

“And Lorraina never came back—even for a little while?”

Maggie shook her head.

Sadie thought for a moment. “What deck is your room on?”

“Eleven,” Maggie said.

Sadie had assumed as much, since that’s where she’d seen Shawn and Lorraina talking the first day. Lorraina had also gotten off on the eleventh floor at around 8:40 after Sadie had chased her from the photo gallery. Why would Lorraina get off on her floor but not go to her room? “You never left your room after seven o’clock?”

Maggie shook her head again. The tissue in her hands was now a damp, fuzzy ball of disintegrating paper. “I watched a couple of movies, then finally fell asleep around midnight.”

The inconsistency bothered Sadie. She couldn’t think of any other reason Lorraina would have gone to deck eleven except to return to her room. But according to Maggie, Lorraina never came back. Sympathy aside, Sadie didn’t know Maggie very well, and if Shawn was right, and if he and she weren’t siblings, that meant that Lorraina had lied about something. Something
big
.

“What time did you find out about what happened to Lorraina?”

“The medical staff woke me up with a phone call around two o’clock and confirmed my name and everything, then sent someone to talk to me.”

Sadie handed Maggie a new tissue, then helped her clean up the last of the smudges. She thought through everything she’d learned and tried to come up with a hypothesis. Without any background information on Lorraina or her family, though, it felt far more like conjecture.

“You should go back to your family,” Maggie said. “I really shouldn’t have come tonight.”

“Yes, you should have,” Sadie said. “Come have some dessert with us. Let’s talk about this with everyone there and see what we can make of it.”

Maggie shook her head. “Shawn already didn’t want to meet me. He certainly won’t want to spend time with me now. Maybe the captain can help set up a flight for me from Skagway tomorrow.”

“Maggie,” she said, feeling a little desperate to have her stay, “I haven’t had much time to talk to Shawn, but I do know he has questions about Lorraina he wants answered, too.”

Maggie didn’t respond, but Sadie was encouraged by the fact that she seemed to have moved through the worst of her emotion.

“I think maybe you could help him find the answers he’s looking for. And maybe he could help you find some answers, too. This isn’t just a hopeful suggestion; Pete’s a retired police detective, and Shawn and I have run our own private investigating company. Obviously, there are some things going on that none of us understand, but if we could figure them out, I think we would all feel better. You are an essential part of that process. We could really use your help.”

Maggie looked up, intrigued but cautious.

“We like having answers to questions,” Sadie added. “And we’ve found that knowing the truth, even when it’s painful, is usually better than wondering about it. Maybe by the time Lorraina gets well, you will have a better idea of what’s going on.”

Maggie nodded, as though not quite sure she wanted to commit but at least open to the idea.

“Would you be interested in helping us?”

Maggie looked into her lap again.

Sadie allowed the silence to build for several seconds before she spoke again. “There are no wrong decisions here. If you want to go home tomorrow, I will completely understand. But if you want answers, and if you want to be a part of this process, we would welcome you. I promise to help you find whatever peace we can.”

She waited with bated breath for an answer, and when Maggie lifted her head, Sadie knew by the spark of curiosity in the girl’s eyes that she was interested. Sadie knew that look all too well.

Chapter 17

Sadie could feel the tension between Maggie and Shawn as soon as they sat down.

When the waiter came around asking if the newcomers wanted anything to eat or drink, Sadie shook her head. Breanna, Pete, and Shawn had nearly finished their drinks, and it looked like they had shared a large piece of cheesecake.

“I really should get some sleep,” Maggie said after attempts at small talk fell flat. She didn’t mention Lorraina, and everyone else seemed to follow her lead. “Today’s been one of the longest days of my life. Can we talk more tomorrow?”

“Of course,” Sadie said, standing and giving Maggie a hug.

“I have some of Lorraina’s things,” Maggie said. “I can bring them with me tomorrow morning if you want, and we can look through them to see if we learn anything. I’m just worn out tonight.”

“I could walk you to your room and get whatever you have,” Breanna offered, putting her napkin on the table. “That way we could get a head start.” She looked to Pete and Sadie for support, and they both agreed that was a good idea, if Maggie didn’t mind, which she didn’t.

“Wonderful,” Sadie said, grateful for Breanna’s offer. “Should we meet for a late breakfast in the Tiara Room? Say, nine thirty?” That would give Sadie’s group a chance to meet up and talk about the situation before Maggie arrived.

They all agreed to the place and time, and after Breanna and Maggie left the lounge, Sadie returned to her seat and zeroed her focus in on Shawn. She had liked the idea of Maggie joining them, but now that she was gone, Sadie was relieved to have the chance to talk to Shawn.

The engines began to rumble, and Julie came over the intercom to inform them that they were leaving Juneau. She reminded the passengers to check out the daily onboard paper that was delivered to their rooms every evening and wished them all a good night.

After Julie finished her announcements, Shawn, Sadie, and Pete moved closer to each other around the table, and Sadie updated them on the discussion she’d had with Maggie in the chapel. Shawn took a drink from his water glass. He looked nervous, and Sadie and Pete shared a glance acknowledging that they’d both noticed it.

“So, fill in the blanks for us,” Pete said once Shawn had returned his glass to the table. “What don’t we know?”

“There’s a lot
I
don’t know,” Shawn said, staring at his glass. He hadn’t used a coaster, and the glass had left a water ring on the Formica tabletop. He lifted the glass and set it back down an inch to the right, then did it again, making an interlocking chain pattern. Sadie had to sit on her hands to keep from taking the glass away from him. She wanted his focus, but needed his cooperation.

“Tell us what you
do
know,” Pete amended.

“I know that a woman named Lorraina Juxteson had a baby boy on April twelfth at the Nebraska Medical Center in Omaha. That boy seems to be me, and the lady they took to Anchorage today seems to be Lorraina.”

“You requested your original birth certificate?” Sadie asked. Upon adoption, a new birth certificate was created. Sadie had the paperwork explaining the process that could be used to get a copy of the original, ready for the day when her children might want or need it. They’d never asked. The irony of this did not escape her.

“Seems to be?” Pete repeated. “You’re not sure?”

“I’m not sure of anything,” he said, sounding as worn-out as Maggie had.

“Why don’t you start from the beginning?” Pete suggested. “How did you find her?”

Sadie sensed that Pete already knew some of this, but she appreciated that he could bring her up to speed with the recap.

Shawn nodded and took a breath. “I put up a basic profile on a few reunification websites last August, listing my date of birth, gender, ethnicity, and hospital—stuff from the certificate you had for me, Mom.” He glanced at her quickly, then continued. “Two months later, Lorraina replied with additional information like my birth weight and her full name, which matched the original birth certificate I was able to get via an official request from the county of record. We e-mailed for a while, and I was able to get enough information to do a background check that seemed to verify that she was who she said she was.”

“So you do believe that the woman you met on this ship is your birth mother?” Pete asked. Sadie’s heart clenched just a little.

Shawn hesitated but then nodded.

“But you have some concerns as well,” Pete added.

Shawn nodded again. “She had some arrests for things like bank fraud and check kiting. Not serious, and nothing recent, but enough for me to be on guard. Still, things were going well; she was really funny and...” He glanced at Sadie, and she sensed his hesitation to say whatever it was he was about to say. She was glad he’d paused. This wasn’t easy to listen to.

“Anyway, in February, Lorraina asked if she could borrow a few hundred dollars; she was short on rent. I’d read about
a lot
of birth family reunions online, and one of the red flags is when either party asks for money from the other one. But it was just $300, and she swore she’d pay me back, so I loaned it to her.” He paused to take another sip of his drink. “She asked for another loan a month later, and I said no. I didn’t have it anyway, and I reminded her about the money I’d loaned her in February. She got mad about it, saying how she’d thought we’d be a family, and how she’d help me out if I needed it—stuff like that. It made me really uncomfortable, and I started pulling back.”