Bad Connection (5 page)

I read this section a couple more times, and then I thank God.
know You're showing me something. I know
that You want to use me to help Kayia, but I'm not exactly sure what to do. Please, lead me.

“Samantha?” calls a voice that sounds like Olivia.

“Yeah.” I emerge from the bathroom stall and force a wimpy smile.

“Are you okay?”

I nod as I stuff my Bible back into my backpack.

“I was looking all over for you, and Kendall said she saw you come in here. She said you didn't look too well after drama class. You're not sick, are you? You look kind of pale.”

“Tm okay. Just some weird stuff going on. I needed a quiet place…to think about some things and to clear my head…and to pray.”

“Looks like you found it in here.” She glances around the vacant restroom then back at me. “What kind of weird stuff do you mean, Sam?”

“How about if I tell you on the way home?”

As we go to the locker bay, I silently pray some more. I ask God whether or not I should tell Olivia about what I've experienced this afternoon. I mean, as badly as I want to unload all of this onto someone in an earth suit, first I want to be sure that it's the right thing to do. Olivia already feels really bad about Kayla's disappearance. I don't want to involve her without God's approval.

Then we're out in her car, and I'm still grappling with what to do. As she drives away from school, Olivia breaks the ice. “Look, Sam, I know something's up.”

“Huh?”

“About Kayla. I was really praying for her last night, and I just got this strong feeling that God is going to show you something about her. Has He revealed anything yet?”

“Seriously?” I turn and study my best friend.
“You
got a feeling?”

“Yeah. But that was all it was. Just a feeling. It's not like I
saw
anything. But because of that feeling I've really been praying for you, Sam. And I understand how you feel about all this stuff. I mean, I remember how hard it was for you last year when you went to the shrink and everything. And I know how you believed that you weren't going to have any more dreams or visions. But I just keep getting this very strong sense…that God is going to use you somehow.”

She sighs. “Or maybe it's just hopeful thinking on my part.” Olivia turns and looks at me as she waits at the red stoplight. “Maybe it's just because I'm seriously worried about Kayla. I think she's in trouble.”

Now, besides my mom and her shrink-friend, who really didn't believe me anyway, Olivia's the only person who I've told any of this stuff to. And she's heard almost all of it—the dreams and visions and everything. And while I know she doesn't totally understand it (and neither do I), she's very understanding about it, and like my dad, she seems to respect that it's from God.

As the stoplight turns green, I believe that God is giving me a green light as well, so I open up to her. First, I tell her about this morning's dream and how it seemed resolved— well, other than seeing Kayla in it. Then I tell her about the
vision of Kayla crying in the backseat of a car during biology.

“But we were watching this weird DNA video,” I point out, almost as a disclaimer. “And I was looking at Kayla's empty chair and probably remembering my dream…and, well, maybe I just imagined it.”

“You don't really believe that, do you?”

“No…”

“So was that it then? Just the dream about the wreck and then the vision of Kayla in the car? I mean, not that those things aren't big. Or not enough. But I guess I'm just not sure where you'd go from there.”

“I know.” So then I tell her about Shakespeare and
Hamlet
and Ophelia played by Kendall then surprisingly overridden by Kayla—at least for me. “It's like I really saw her standing right there, and I heard her reading Kendall's lines like it was really from her heart. And she had tears in her eyes.”

“Freaky!”

“Tell me about it.” I quickly open my backpack and pull out the script. “You want to hear the lines?”

“Sure.”

So I read the lines again, And this time they seem to make even more sense than before. “You see, Ophelia is talking about betrayal,” I explain. “She says 'before you tumbled me'—meaning like you tricked me—but she's saying that before he promised to marry her. And it would've been 'done by yonder sun,' like it would've been done yesterday, but he never showed up. Isn't that weird?”

“Wow…”

“I
know…wow.”
co

“so do you think this colby guy promised to marry Kayla and then changed his mind?”

I shrug. “Maybe…”

“Then wouldn't she come back home?”

“You'd think.” 5”

“But I wonder why she was crying in the backseat of a car?” muses Olivia. “I mean, why the backseat? Why not the front seat?”

“I don't know.”

“Do you think she's in some kind of real trouble?”

“I'm not sure, but there's another thing…”

“What? No holding out on me, Sam.”

“Okay. But for now let's just keep all this stuff between us, all right? I don't want anyone thinking I'm going off the deep end again. Especially my mom. She's got enough on her plate with Zach right now.”

“But I thought he was doing better. Isn't he still working at the video store?”

“Yeah, but I guess he's missed a couple of days, and he's been late coming home again. Not a good sign.”

“No…” Olivia sighs. “I'm sorry, Sam.”

“Yeah. Me too. I just hope he's staying clean and sober.”

“Well, I pray for him every day.”

“Me too. If only prayers alone could change people.”

“But back to Kayla, you said there was something else. Another vision?”

“No. More like a confirmation.” I reach into my pack for my Bible, opening it to the place I marked with a scrap of
notebook paper. “In the bathroom, I was feeling pretty -c freaked, so I asked God to help me to figure this thing out, to show me whether it was really from Him, you know? And I did the random thing, just opened the Bible up, and this was the first Scripture I laid my eyes on.” I read it to her.

“Wow!” She just shakes her head. “That is amazing. Do you think Kayla has been led astray? Or abandoned in the mountains?”

“Yeah, like there's a lot of mountains in San Diego.”

“It might be metaphorical,” suggests Olivia.

“But even though she's left home, I doubt that she would've forgotten where she came from already. It's only been a few days.”

“Unless she has amnesia.” Olivia says this in a dramatic voice.

“I think that's just something they do in soap operas. I don't think real people get amnesia that much.”

“Well, it looks like God is confirming this thing, Sam. I think He's definitely trying to tell you something.”

“I know. I just wish I had a better idea of what exactly it is so I could actually do something… Well, besides pray that is.”

“Do you think you should tell her mom?”

“I'm not sure. I've been thinking about it. But I don't really know Mrs. Henderson that well. And I could end up sounding like'a nutcase.”

“What about the police?”

“I've been thinking about that too. But I'm worried about the same thing there. I mean, how do I go in and tell a
policeman that I saw Kayla playing Ophelia in drama today but she wasn't really there? Even if I got him to believe me, what does it all mean?”

“But what about the car? Did you see a license plate? Or could you tell what make it was?”.

“Just a metallic blue. With gray interior.”

“Well, that sure narrows it down.” Olivia kind of laughs.

“But what about my dream this morning? It was pretty right-on because that woman, Cindy James, really did have a wreck just like in my dream. But I don't get why Kayla was in the dream too. That makes no sense.”

“Maybe God just wanted to get your attention,” she says thoughtfully. “Maybe He wanted you to see that your dream really was on target so that you'd trust Him.”

“I don't know…”

“And maybe He put Kayla into that dream so you'd be thinking of her, so you'd know that she needs help too.”

“I suppose that could be.”

“Remember, God really does work in mysterious ways, Sam.”

“You can say that again.” But now I'm obsessing over the Ophelia lines, those words about promising to marry and then being jilted, and it feels like it's a big clue. But if Colby decided not to get married, which makes perfect sense now that I know more about him, then why wouldn't Kayla be back home by now? I run these thoughts past Olivia, and she just shakes her head.

“Man, it seems like the more you know, the murkier it gets.”

“That's just what I was thinking.” I sigh and look out the window.

“But you do know this, Sam.”

“What?”

“God wants you on the case. He's trying to show you something. You need to stay tuned in.”

I kind of laugh now. “Right,
stay tuned in.
Like I was going to tune God out.”

“You know what I mean.”

“I guess. But I have to admit that it's making me uncomfortable. I really thought the whole vision and dream thing was over and done with. It had been nearly a year, Olivia.”

“But I had a feeling.” She smiles as she reminds me. “I got a really strong sense that it wasn't over.”

“So why doesn't God show
you
these things instead of me? Why can't you be the one to have visions and dreams and all this crazy stuff?”

“You'd have to ask God that one,” she says as she pulls up at my house.

“Thanks a lot,” I tell her without enthusiasm. “Maybe I will.”

“I'd invite myself in, but I have a mountain of homework, and I need to practice my flute solo for the winter concert. Plus it's midweek service tonight. Need a ride?”

“Sure.”

“But before you go in, I want to tell you about this Scripture I read in 1 Corinthians 12 last night. It reminded me of you because it talks about the different spiritual gifts the Holy Spirit gives us and how God works in our lives in
different ways. It's really cool. To one person He gives the gift of special knowledge, to someone else He gives the power to heal the sick, and to another the ability to prophesy. But the Holy Spirit is the only One who distributes these gifts.”

I nod. “Yeah, okay…”

“God is the One who decides who gets what, Sam.”

Thanks.” I smile at her.

“Seeya.”

I go into the house, trying to feel encouraged by the Scripture she just told me about, but as I drop my backpack on my bed, I still have to ask God, “Why
am
I so special? Why are You letting
me
in on all these things? What is it about me?”

I stare at my rather ordinary reflection in the mirror above my dresser, taking in my curly brown shoulder-length hair and hazel eyes, those few stubborn freckles, and the somber expression Zach used to tease me about, bugging me about why I was always so serious. And all I can think is that I look like such a kid. Even if I am going on seventeen in January, I sometimes think I could pass for twelve or thirteen. And I almost laugh.

“Seriously, God, You must be pretty hard up for help to call on someone as insignificant as me.” Then I feel bad for sounding ungrateful or even unwilling. So I add, “Even so, You know that I want to do Your will. And as long as You're the one doing the leading, I promise to follow.”

I just hope I don't end up looking like a total fool.

I
had almost expected God to show me something new about Kayla at the midweek service tonight, but while the worship was good and the sermon encouraging, I experienced no visions, and since I didn't fall asleep, no dreams—nothing out of the ordinary,

Naturally, Olivia questions me on this during the drive home.

“Nada,”
I tell her. “And I was really trying to listen too.”

“Maybe you shouldn't try so hard. I mean, you were never trying during those other-times, were you?”

I nod. “Yeah, you're right. They just seemed to happen.”

“Maybe God needs you to be more relaxed.”

“Maybe.” I let out a deep sigh and lean back. “But it's a heavy load, Olivia. If God really is trying to tell me something about Kayla, like if she's in danger or something…well, it seems like a lot to expect of a person… like me.”

“God must believe you're up to it.”

“But don't you think it's kind of weird?”

“Of course it's weird, Sam. Visions, dreams…it must be pretty spooky sometimes. I'm not sure I could handle it myself.”

“I don't mean weird like that.” I'm trying to think of a way to describe what's bugging me right now, but I feel stuck.

“What then?”

“Well, remember last year, when I was going to that shrink-friend of Mom's? I keep thinking about the time when o she pointed out that some Christians might think some of my o experiences are kind of New Agey. Like I'm claiming to be some kind of a Christian clairvoyant. She even pointed out how some people might actually assume that I'm demonized or working in cahoots with the devil, you know what I mean?”

“Yeah, I remember you told me about that and how it bothered you.”

“I mean, it's pretty hard to describe this kind of thing or what it really means—I guess it even makes me nervous. I'm sure that's why I never talk to anyone about it.”