Back to the Fuchsia (16 page)

“Good luck, Randy!” I waved as Randy slowly disappeared.

“Don’t touch a thing!” Cosmos warned.

Randy’s signals kept repeating. Brad continued to lower him. “How far do you think it is until he gets to the bottom?”

Cosmos stroked his beard. “Who can say? If we run out of rope, Brad will pull him back up. Unless a dragon eats him.”

“Saints almighty! You think that could happen?”

“Let’s hope dragons have a more discriminating taste than that,” Cosmos deadpanned.

Nearly two hundred yards of rope had spilled out before Randy signaled for Brad to stop.

“From the way the rope slacked up and the way it’s moving, I’d say Randy is walking on the cave floor right now.”

Without warning, a thunderous sound rose up from the crevices of the entire cave system. Rocks fell around us and we scrambled to avoid the stalactites that shook loose from the ceiling. Randy sent a frantic signal to be hauled up.

Despite facing a fusillade of stony daggers, everyone grabbed hold of the rope and pulled. Randy came up with such speed, his harness went all the way to the pulley. The earthquake stopped by the time he’d freed himself.

“What happened down there?” Brad asked.

“I told you! Touch nothing, dummkopf!” Cosmos barked.

“Whew! That was scary. Well, scary once the place started shaking.”

I asked, “So? Don’t keep us in suspense. What did you find?”

“First, I’d like to thank all of you cave trolls for asking if I was okay. And I think I found the other side of the time transporter dingahoofus that all of Gertie’s tacky shoes have been popping out of.”

“And her long lost vibrator!” Cosmos reminded him.

“Yeah, that, too. Anyway, it looks just like a manhole for a sewer, like you’d find in any city. Now, here’s the trippy part. There is a dragon. A big, big, big, giant sized dragon. Complete with wings, and spikes on its scaly red hide. You know, typical storybook monster. It’s trapped in another cavern, you could say it’s like a room on the side of the manhole. A huge pile of rocks must have fallen and blocked it in. The dragon is jammed in there, it can’t turn around. When it kicked its huge hind legs and bucked, everything shook.”

“Wow. That had to be some force to shake the whole cave,” Brad said, examining the ceiling and walls. “See that huge crack above us? It’s bigger than it was before the earthquake. We are inside a very active fault line. The force of it pushing against the edges of two tectonic plates is actually creating earthquakes.”

I patted my hands on Brad’s shoulders. “We have to rescue the poor thing! Especially during breeding season. For all we know, she could be ready to have babies.”

Brad took my hands and held them. “You’re right. We have to rescue it, although I was thinking of another reason why. Cosmos, do you think these earthquakes caused here might be repeating themselves in our future? Because just before we came to this time period, there was a huge increase in the frequency of major earthquakes.”

“Of course, anything is possible. It is right next to that transporter hole, which works on magic and is somehow tapping into the sheath holding time together. I don’t even know if it makes sense to me, but yes, I agree it could be possible.”

“Brad, we need a rescue team. You told me you were a trained rescue team leader. All you need is a crew and rescue animals. I need to go down there and evaporate those rocks with my wand to free that dragon. Olaf will have to communicate with her so she knows I’m trying to help her.”

“No, Gertie. It’s too dangerous. The thought of you going down there is too much to bear.”

“Oh, and I’m expendable?” Randy sneered.

“In fact, you’d be the perfect choice. You’ve seen exactly how she’s trapped and what to expect,” Brad replied.

“Listen, it’s my magic that got us into this mess, and my magic wand will get us out,” I insisted. The argument went on for a few more minutes until I ended it by strapping myself into the harness. “I’m ready! Lower me down!”

Brad finally relented and grabbed hold of the rope. “Please be careful, Sunshine. I love you.”

“I love you, too. Don’t worry so much!” Brad lowered me very slowly. “Oh, I almost forgot! Olaf! Olaf! Come here!”

I heard the thumps of his heavy paws. Soon his head peered over the edge as I went lower, my glowing wand lighting the way.

“Roo? Goo roo?” Olaf whimpered, his head cocked to the side.

“Olaf, there is a dragon trapped down here. I need you to talk to her. Tell her I’m only coming to help. Can you tell her?”

“Row row!” Olaf barked. I expected him to howl or bark his dragon lingo down into the chasm. Instead, he jumped. “Row, goo roo!” he said as he tumbled past me. The sound Olaf made landing on the rock was just ugly, but when he called out, “Roo roo”, I knew he was okay.

By the time I reached him, Olaf was already engaged in talks with our red scaly survivor. Fortunately, she understood. Both dragons maneuvered, safely allowing the blasts from my wand to eliminate the boulders.

Amid happy wagging dragon tails, I took a closer look at the cavern. I hoped to find a clue, anything that could explain Ezzy’s mysterious condition. “There’s that new beach hat I thought I misplaced. A bag of chocolate covered peanuts, probably gone bad, best not to risk eating one.”

Our new dragon friend offered Olaf a treat as a reward and he happily accepted. Adjusting the glow of my wand to see what it was, I stepped closer. “Holy bones!” A long bone dangled from Olaf’s mouth. A bejeweled gold band hung loosely from one end.

“A clue!” Although quite grotesque, I felt it was something important. “Can I see the bone?” I held my hand out and Olaf carefully dropped it.

“Now, how to get you two out of here. I doubt the rope will hold either of you, so that means you get to go through the manhole thing.” I was entirely confident in Cosmos’ explanation and from the additional items I found, I was sure it would drop both of the dragons in my kitchen, where I left the magic tote. “Back home, you go, Olaf. Take your friend to the barn. Be sure to introduce her to Rebecca. It would be quite unpleasant if she got the wrong idea.”

“Rah rah, goo roo.” Olaf nudged the other dragon until she had one paw over the hole. That was when the magic kicked in and it was really quite a sight to see. It looked like a miniature red tornado when the giant dragon became a swirling mist and was sucked through. Olaf followed and I was left alone with the bone. After further searching, it was more than a bone. It was an entire skeleton.

I pulled wildly on the rope. “Bring me up, please!”

Stroke It

“
A
re you okay, Sunshine?” Brad lifted me from the harness, kissing me before putting me on my feet.

“Perfect. The hole Randy found is our way out. Olaf and the red dragon are happily romping on the plantation as we speak.”

Brad gulped. “Another dragon?”

“I couldn’t just leave her down there. And she was too big for anyone to haul back up. She’d have broken every rope we have. Now, here is something more important.” I handed him the bone.

“Um, thanks.” Brad cautiously held the bone.

Cosmos leaned close to it, but wouldn’t take it. “Hmm. Human. Arm. Female most likely.”

“Really, you got all that just by looking at it? How do you know it’s female?” Randy asked, obviously impressed.

“The woman’s bracelet is engraved, in part, ‘loving wife’, the rest of the letters are rather hard to make out.”

“I don’t get it. What does that have to do with Ezzy, or getting us out of here?” Jessica asked.

“I don’t know. It’s just a clue based on the theory Cosmos had. If Ezzy’s memories and spirit got sucked into the bottom of that cave, where could they have gone? The skeleton and this bracelet are the only things I found, other than some of my things and the dragon.”

Somewhere in the distance, outside, we heard shouting and horses.

“What’s all the ruckus about by the entrance?” Randy asked, pointing to the entrance of the Devil’s Arse.

“Sounds like we’ve got company. Who would know we’re in here?” Brad asked.

“Um…again, my fault. When I used my broom to get us away from the jousting field, I said the name of our destination out loud. Charles was right next to us. I didn’t have a choice, really.”

Wills and Kate howled and beat their chests, the universal signal for Sasquatches in distress.

“In the name of His Majesty, King Henry, I order you to come out!”

“Sounds like Charles. We better go down in the cavern and hop through that manhole, pronto,” Randy said.

“There’s no time. Look, they’re already coming in.” Brad referred to the dozen or so men at the entrance. Their swords were drawn, this would not end peacefully. “I’ll buy us some time. Randy, get everyone ready, start taking them down to the bottom.”

“Brad! No! You can’t. Not alone,” I begged. “I can help, I have my wand.” I held it up. Right away I knew something was wrong. Somehow, on the return ride up, my wand had broken. All that remained was the handle.

“I guess you’re sitting this one out, Sunshine. Don’t worry about me. As soon as you all go down, I’ll be right behind you.”

As Randy lowered Jessica down in the harness, Cosmos, while waiting his turn, called out, “Catch!” He tossed his staff high in the air toward Brad, who effortlessly snatched it from the air.

“Use my magic staff, it has a bigger blast radius than a wand anyway,” Cosmos shouted as he climbed into the harness.

Wills and Kate carried Ezzy in her chair. They rushed to the chasm while Brad passed them as he headed off to confront Charles and his posse. “California King! Please, I beg of you, all of you. Let me go and I won’t say a word about this. I’m so sorry for being so obsessed with Your Highness. I only…I only wanted to be noticed by you, to be picked by you. I hoped you would be my gallant knight.”

“You obviously missed seeing his horsemanship skills in action, Ezzy,” I said.

“My name isn’t Ezzy.”

I could see Brad’s silhouette against the cave opening. He was shaking the staff, unable to make it work. “Cosmos! Brad can’t get your staff to work, what does he need to do?”

A pamphlet flew out of the cavern. “Read page three on using the weapons option!”

“Thanks, Cosmos!” I flipped the pages until I found the proper steps and shouted them to Brad. “Brad! First, grasp the base of the shaft with one hand, maintain a loose grip toward the tip with your other hand.”

“Okay! Got it. Now what?”

“It says to slide the one hand from the tip toward the base and back in a steady reciprocating motion. Gradually increase the pace until you’re vigorously stroking it. Adjust your grip as necessary.”

“Uh, okay,” Brad replied. “Then?”

“When preparing to fire, aim the tip toward the intended target while maintaining hand movements. Fire when ready. Handy tip: When multiple staffs are utilized in team mode, use caution to avoid friendly fire.”

I closed the book, my eyes bulged out in shock at what I had just read.

Randy stopped lowering the rope for a few seconds. “Jesus Christ, Gertie! I think you just talked Brad through a hand-job.”

A minute later, a bright white flash engulfed the opening. “I think your boy just blew his load on them,” Randy commented.

After our eyes adjusted, we could tell the soldiers were all gone, with the exception of one man crawling in a circle. Brad grabbed him by the breastplate and dragged him to us. He tossed the staff down into the cavern. “Thanks for letting me use your staff, Cosmos.”

“My pleasure.” Cosmos chuckled.

“Well, that was…an uncomfortable experience,” Brad said, dropping Charles to the ground.

“Good job, you handled that staff so well.” I winced, holding back my laughter.

“Yep, you really pulled one off on them. Those jerks. They had it coming. At least it was a happy ending.” Randy snickered.

“You two are regular comedians,” Brad said. “I feel kind of dirty.”

The levity of the situation came to an abrupt end. Disheveled and blackened, Duke Charles cringed. His fear-filled eyes were fixed on something in the distance and he stammered.

“No…no…it can’t be—”

Making Sense

K
atherine picked up the arm bone and removed the bracelet. She had a new swagger to her gait as she strolled over to us, swinging the bone as if it were a gentleman’s walking stick.

“Let me read this inscription. ‘To my loving wife, Katherine. Forever yours, Charles’.” As if flipping a bottle cap, she tossed the gold bauble at Charles. “This didn’t go at all according to my plans, and I’m glad. In fact, this is much sweeter.”

“How…you’re dead! What are you?” Charles whimpered.

“Of course I’m dead. You should know, you’re the one who stabbed me and threw my body down in that dark place. And now, it’s the end for you. I told you I would never be yours, even in death.” She lifted the bone up and prepared to drive it through his frightened body.

“No! Please don’t do it!” I begged.

Even Randy tried to get Katherine to reconsider. “She’s right. What’s the fun in ending it? If you’re really a ghost, you’d be better off haunting him for the rest of his natural life. Think about it.”

“You make a good point.” She dropped the bone on Charles’ head. “Run along, Charles. Run as far as you can. It won’t make a difference. I’ll come visit you again tonight.”

The duke scrambled to his feet and ran out of the cave like a scalded cat.

“I sure didn’t expect things to turn out like this. You’re really a ghost?” I asked.

“What’s happening? I’m so scared.” Ezzy shook with genuine fear.

“Shh, everything will be fine. I suppose I owe all of you an explanation.” Katherine smiled.

“It would be appreciated,” I replied.

“It all happened so long ago. I was just a young girl, but not so young that I shouldn’t be already married by my seventeenth birthday. I was headstrong, a free spirit, no pun intended. The duke had been after me for some time and I always refused him. I refused to marry him and become his property, for that is how he treats people.”

“So how did you end up marrying him?”