Back to Me (14 page)

The second she tumbled into the house with both arms loaded with grocery bags, Paige realized that inviting Sergio-Xavier over for dinner wasn't one of her brightest ideas. An hour wasn't enough time to shower and prepare a dinner that would make a good impression on him. Why did she care about impressing Sergio-Xavier, anyway? Her sprint to her bedroom slowed when her heart spoke the answer she refused to accept. “No,” she said out loud and then continued on. Once inside the bedroom, she sent a text message telling him to give her an additional half hour. Fifteen minutes later Paige had showered and changed into leggings and a long Stanford sweatshirt, and since she hadn't had a chance to get a pedicure, she'd decided on casual flats instead of mules.

When the doorbell chimed, the skirt steak was marinating and she was in the middle of chopping onions, tomatoes, and cilantro for her homemade salsa. She answered the door with the knife in her hand.

“If you need more time, just say so. You don't have to cut me,” he teased. “If you can't meet the challenge, I can always order Chinese.” The smile she loved to hate had returned, and so had that smart mouth. He had traded in his slacks and dress shirt for black jeans and a cream mock turtleneck and carried a long, rectangular box.

“Get in here and close the door behind you. I'll be right back.” She left him standing in the foyer while she went to start the indoor grill.

“An indoor charcoal grill . . . That's a cool amenity.”

The voice from the archway leading into the kitchen startled her. Sergio-Xavier had followed her instead of waiting in the living room, like she'd requested.

“Thanks,” she said over her shoulder but continued working. “On the other side of the brick wall is the fireplace for the formal dining room. Since you can't follow instructions, have a seat at the table. I'll be finished in about twenty minutes.”

“If you show me where to put these, I can help you finish up.”

“Huh?” Paige faced him and noticed the bouquet of yellow roses he'd removed from the box. “Oh. There's a vase up on that top shelf,” she said, pointing. The yellow roses were a symbol of their friendship, but she'd rather have red ones.

“Are you moving?” he asked after arranging the flowers in the vase and placing them on the table. “Or do the boxes mean you haven't finished unpacking?”

In the rush to prepare dinner, Paige had forgotten about the boxes stacked in the living room, which contained items from the spare room. She had meant to take them to the storage unit that afternoon, but it had slipped her mind once she discovered Sergio-Xavier was in distress.

“Actually, I'm in the middle of redecorating.” She hoped the evasive answer would be enough to squash any further questions. They were friends, and today the friendship had grown to a deeper level, but that didn't give him the right to know everything about her. Besides, she didn't want to hear any negative comments.

“Maybe you can give me a tour after dinner.”

One sniff of the woodsy-scented cologne penetrating her nostrils and she knew, without even looking, that he was standing directly behind her. The firm hand on each shoulder confirmed it.

“Now, what do you need me to do?”

Although he asked the question in his normal voice, Sergio-Xavier leaned in against her ear, sending a warm, tingling sensation down the right side of her body. Her entire body stiffened. It had been years since her body had physically reacted to a man, but in an instant Paige's internal heat exceeded that of the coals on the grill. Her mouth was parched, and beads of sweat formed across her hairline. Good thing she wore a sweatshirt and not a T-shirt. She pivoted around, only to find a confused expression staring back at her. Had he sensed her unwelcomed desire? She moved her mouth to speak but couldn't think of what to say that wouldn't make her sound like a woman in heat or give him the false impression that she wanted him. To her relief, he took a step backward.

“My mother taught me how to cook. If you give me an apron, I'll prove it.”

Relieved, Paige exhaled louder than normal. Sergio-Xavier was oblivious to her inner turmoil. She walked over to the utility closet and retrieved an apron. “Here.” Instead of handing the garment to him, Paige tossed it across the room. “You can finish chopping that serrano pepper and mixing the salsa,” she directed, pointing to the center island. “Once you finish that, sauté the shrimp.”

“Aye, aye, Captain.” He saluted her and then affixed the apron to his torso. “So what are we having? Ceviche?”

“Less talk and more work, Soldier.” Without meaning to, Paige winked.

Hoping he didn't notice, she went back to the grill to check on the coals and then removed the steak from the refrigerator. While the meat cooked, Paige set the table and then placed the salsa, sour cream, cheese, and a pitcher of iced tea on it. By the time she had removed the steak from the grill and had sliced it, Sergio-Xavier had added the shrimp and warm tortillas to the table.

Before inviting him to the table, Paige started to turn on the sound system but then decided against it. Worship music seemed inappropriate for the occasion.

“It looks great,” he said, complimenting her, once he was seated. “I love steak and shrimp fajitas.”

“I figured you would, since it's part of your heritage. I hope you don't mind corn tortillas instead of flour.”

“Corn is fine,” he said, reaching for a tortilla. “I grew up on corn.”

Paige cleared her throat. “Excuse me, Minister, but I know you're not about to eat without saying grace. You don't know what I put in this food.”

“You're smiling, but knowing you . . .” He let the thought hang, and bowed his head.

While Paige listened to him say grace, another realization surfaced. Sergio-Xavier was the first non-related male in her home and the only man she had cooked dinner for, ever.

“This meat is seasoned perfectly, and it's so tender,” he said after taking a bite.

“That will teach you not to doubt my abilities.”

They ate in silence until Sergio-Xavier touched the subject she knew would come up one day.

“Why don't you date?”

She took a sip of iced tea before answering. “You mean other than the fact that I'm too self-absorbed and judgmental?” His opinion of her still hurt.

He raised his hands in surrender. “I take that back. You have grown. Today was a perfect example. You have a beautiful voice, by the way. I hope I don't have to be in a funk to hear it again.”

She raised an eyebrow. “That depends.” Did I just flirt with him? she wondered.

“So, why don't you date? Have you ever dated?”

The answer wasn't something Paige was proud of. In fact, it was rather embarrassing. She wasn't perfect, but neither was Sergio-Xavier.

“The sad truth is, I have never officially dated or had a real boyfriend.”

“Somehow with your personality, that doesn't surprise me.”

She didn't care for his chuckling but decided to lay it all out, anyway. He'd already shared his past, and hers wasn't any worse. “In my younger years I never had the time. I was too driven to finish college and become rich. I had a goal, and a boyfriend didn't fit. I had one male friend in college. We didn't date.” She paused for a moment. “We just had sex periodically,” she added and then took a bite of steak.

He shrugged. “A ‘friend with benefits' kind of thing. It happens, but usually someone gets emotionally attached.”

“Not us. We were the perfect match. He was more driven than I was to succeed. Sex for us was like an obligation. Something we did because that's what you do in college. Instead of multiple partners, we had an exclusive arrangement on our calendar. Thursday, from two to three, have sex. And that wasn't every week. ”

She joined in with his laughter, having long ago acknowledged that the arrangement was crazy.

“I knew many guys in college who would have loved a deal like that,” he said, reaching for another tortilla. “If I wasn't trying to live saved and later wasn't obsessed with Nicole, I would have been first in line. So after graduation you just parted ways?”

Her chewing ceased as Paige weighed how much she could divulge without revealing her most painful memory. “Actually, we never parted ways. I mean, we mutually removed sex from our calendars, but Tyson and I have remained friends.”

His facial expression changed several times, but she couldn't read any of them. “Tyson? You and Tyson Stokes were sex partners? I never would have guessed that,” he said after taking a sip of iced tea.

“Trust me. We were the perfect match back then. The easygoing, ‘head over heels in love' guy you see today is not the same man I knew in college. We were both anal-retentive and totally emotionally constipated. We had different motives, but we were both driven by ambition. I think ambition gave us more fulfillment than sex.”

“That's some ambition.”

They shared more laughter, and then Paige sobered and stared at him.

“What's wrong?” he asked. His hand rested on top of hers, giving her the strength she needed.

“Sharing this with you has made me realize something for the first time. I was so wrong to judge Jasmine and the other ladies for having sex without a commitment. I did the same thing. They're in high school and I was in college, but I wasn't offered a ring or a commitment. All I garnered was an appointment slot. The kids today have sex because of peer pressure and their environment. I did the same thing back then. The sisters in the sorority I wanted to pledge made claims of sexual activity, so I thought I had to get my swerve on to fit in. I thought I needed their backing to fit in. I certainly can't knock Seniyah for getting pregnant.” She hadn't meant to say the last sentence out loud.

“How is Seniyah doing? Have you had a chance to talk with her?”

Paige was not ready to divulge her plan, but she did share the details surrounding the conception.

“So what are you going to do?” he asked with that snide smile. “I know some plan is rolling around in that pretty head of yours. I know you've concocted some plan to
save
Seniyah and her baby.”

She rolled her eyes, detesting how well the man knew her. “I'm working on something, but I'm not going to tell you what it is. At least not now.”

“That's fine, but, Paige, promise me something,” he pleaded, squeezing her hand.

“What's that?”

“Whatever you do, make sure you do it for the right reason. Make sure it's God's will and not merely a good idea birthed out of emotion.”

That's why I can't tell you,
she thought, choking back tears.
You won't understand.
“Sure,” she said out loud.

“Now, open your mouth and do something for me right now.”

“No thank you,” she said when he stabbed a shrimp and waved it near her lips. “I'm never eating one of those things again.”

“If you chew it thoroughly, nothing will happen.”

The terror of that day at Kevin's house came rushing back. She'd almost died that day, and he wanted her to test fate again?

“No. I got the shrimp for you.” In a surprise move, Sergio-Xavier got up from his chair and hunched down beside her chair. “You have to get over this fear. Trust me, nothing bad will happen,” he assured her, placing an arm around her shoulder. “If you choke, I'm right here to save you, just like before.”

“You're asking a lot,” Paige said, referring more to the fact that she had never trusted a man, aside from Jesus, with her well-being than to the possibility of choking on a shrimp again.

“Come on, sweetheart. I may say things you don't like, but I would never purposely hurt you. Stand up. I'll put my arms around your waist, just in case,” he offered.

Under no circumstances would he hold her tonight. The fire he'd created earlier hadn't been fully extinguished yet. If he touched her again, she might attack him and repent later.

“You stay right there,” she ordered with her palm up. “I'll eat it.” Instead of allowing him to feed her, Paige picked up the shrimp and cautiously placed it in her mouth. She remembered that in elementary school she learned to chew her food twenty-eight times. Tonight she chewed twice as long. When the shrimp finally slid down her throat, it felt like mush.

“Are you happy now?” she asked, reaching for another shrimp. “I might eat the rest of these.”

“Go right ahead. I like seeing you happy.”

“Then you'll be ecstatic.”

They enjoyed the remainder of the meal, which included a question-and-answer session on their likes and dislikes. In the end, Paige finally knew the name of that intoxicating cologne she loved.

“Oh, I forgot the reason I called you earlier.” She left him seated at the kitchen table while she went to her home office and printed the inspection reports. When she returned, he had finished eating and had loaded the dishwasher. “I don't need a housekeeper. I just need to have you over more often,” she teased.

“That can be arranged.” He laughed, but she had a feeling he was serious. She ignored the comment and got down to business.

“The inspection reports are in. I checked them over, and I didn't see anything major, but look them over and let me know your thoughts.”

He accepted the documents but didn't read them. “I'm too emotionally drained to focus on these tonight.” He tucked them underneath his arm. “I will look at them after rounds tomorrow and get back to you.”

She followed him into the living room and then to the foyer. “Are you eating and running?” she asked.